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Regarding rejecting the article on Ghaus Ansari

dear LaMona,

I am somewhat disappointed by your rejecting my article without any real reason. I am a seasoned contributor to Wikipedia and have usually added more value to many of its articles. By rejecting this article, you are taking out the "Wikiness" of Wikipedia by not allowing others to contribute to it. I did everything the previous reviewer requested. Now your request is that I write about a "famous person" before having this article approved and I don't accept that. How can I be sure that if I make the changes requested that the next editor won't reject it again? 

Please let me know concretely how I can improve this article (as a bare minimum) to get it approved and then asking others to improve it. While the person I am writing about is indeed my father, I believe he very much deserves a place on Wikipedia (considering some of the less notable garbage articles that I have otherwise found about people whom I don't believe have pretty much faked their popularity!!!

==Regarding rejecting of draft for music artist: Nigel Good==

Hey LaMona,

Thanks for your comments on my proposed Nigel Good article. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Nigel_Good 

I have replaced the words you describe as promotional in nature. Added a link to support the fact that Nigel's 2013 single 'This is You/Always Running/The Balance' was actually his first single picked up by several international acts.

Regarding references for charting. I am aware of this problem and contacted my colleagues at Silk Music (the owners). I asked if they could provide any direct links for these charts. They replied that only thing they had were screenshots of the Itunes and Beatport charts from back in 2013/2014. I have them on my desktop. I have yet to find out how to find these older charts on the internet. I can send you the screenshots? Or maybe you know how to retrieve such charts? 

Please let me know what I can to help in the process of having this article approved?

Btw I am the official manager for Nigel Good's digital platforms Spotify & Apple Music Connect. He is aware that an article on him is in the proces.

Kind Regards,
MariusEJ
Silk Music Spotify Director // Nigel Good Spotify / Apple Music Connect Manager

:Well, [[User:MariusEJ]], since you've let me know that you are his official manager, I need to let you know that you have what we call a [[wp:coi|conflict of interest]] here on Wikipedia. You can continue to work on the article, but you must abide by our policies for editing with a COI. I will put the information on your talk page, but you need to also know that you are only allowed to edit the page while it is in draft. ONce it goes into the main space you can only request edits on the talk page. This is all because we do not allow promotion of people or products on WP, and folks with a COI, even when they try hard, have at least an unconscious bias. Please follow the directions that you'll find soon on your talk page, and you'll be fine. 
:You need to replace ALL of the promotional language. I gave you a few examples so you would know what I mean, but the entire article reads like a press release. You must stick strictly to the facts. This is an encyclopedia. Your entry will be alongside those for Einstein and Kierkegaard. Think about that. 
:Now, as for the charts: I'm not sure that itunes charts are being accepted. Itunes and Amazon and other sales sites change chart positions minute by minute. A published source would be much better. 
:Last, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. 
[[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 00:25, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

==Regarding rejection of draft https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Parthiv_Shah ==
Hey LaMona,

The person qualifies on notability given the range of national and international project he has done in the field of Arts and humanities. The references for the same are enlisted. I think it can be worked upon more to include references of personal writings, but going through the Almuni page of National institute of Design (A reputed design institution of India)I believe the subject qualifies for notability. He is acknowledged to be an active part of the reputed Alumni network. The references for the same is available on the institutions wiki page.

Please let me know your thoughts on the same.

Regards,
[[User:KshitijK15|KshitijK15]] ([[User talk:KshitijK15|talk]]) 09:40, 22 June 2016 (UTC)KshitijK15

:[[User:KshitijK15|KshitijK15]], please see [[WP:CREATIVE]] for the criteria for creative professionals. The awards listed are actually scholarships, and do not in themselves confer notability. Notability for a creative professional is based on awards in their area. For visual arts it is their works being in significant permanent exhibits, such as in national museums. For authors, it is generally based on reviews, being on "bestseller" lists, and significant writing awards. I think he may be notable, but the simple lists of books and films don't explain much. Perhaps you should add more text explaining where he fits in to the art/photography space in India. Don't assume that your reader knows all about that area, as you do. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:36, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

== 14:51:15, 22 April 2016 review of submission by PascaldeLacaze ==
{{Lafc|username=PascaldeLacaze|ts=14:51:15, 22 April 2016|declined=Draft:Graebert}}


Dear LaMona,
thanks for your review and good tipps. I edited and shortened the article and deleted some of the OEM partners. Note that Graebert's notability is given by the fact that Graebert pioneered several CAD technologies (see also awards).

We are resubmitting the article now.

Kindly,
PascaldeLacaze

== 10:25:44, 9 June 2016 review of submission by Artemu4g ==
{{Lafc|username=Artemu4g|ts=10:25:44, 9 June 2016|declined=Draft:Anthony_Melikhov}}

Dear LaMona, Thank you for reviewing my article about [[Draft:Anthony_Melikhov|Anthony Melikhov]]. Unfortunately it has been rejected.
I’m also a new user at WP. I have tried to use all necessary wiki guides to create this article.
I’ve added all main references which came from reliable sources (newspapers, official websites).
LaMona, could you help me with this article ? What can I improve, rewrite in it?
Thank you very much in advance.

::I gave you this information: "Article must be specifically and only about the person. Use neutral language. Do not include lists of recipients - WP is not a random collection of lists." That means write about the person more than about the organizations. Use references that are substantially about the person. Do not include long lists; those are not good for reading, and don't give much information. Lists can be instead on an organization's web page. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 11:30, 9 June 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for quick reply LaMona. I will rewrite article from scratch.  <small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Artemu4g|Artemu4g]] ([[User talk:Artemu4g|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Artemu4g|contribs]]) 12:36, 9 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

Hi LaMona,
I've edited article could you please check it again ?
Thank you  <small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Artemu4g|Artemu4g]] ([[User talk:Artemu4g|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Artemu4g|contribs]]) 16:39, 17 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

== Request on 15:56:54, 16 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Jur Schuurman ==
{{anchor|15:56:54, 16 June 2016 review of submission by Jur Schuurman}}
{{Lafc|username=Jur Schuurman|ts=15:56:54, 16 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Land_governance}}

<!-- Start of message -->

Dear LaMona, 

I have received your message, about the non-acceptance of my (draft) page 'Land governance'. I have two questions about this. 

First, your general comment is: "Not at all sure that this is not already covered in various article about land ownership and management. In any case, see WP:ESSAY on how to turn this more into an article of facts." While I agree that the balance between essay-like writing and facts had not always been struck right (and I will work on that), I do think that 'Land Governance' merits an own entry. It is not land administation, it is not land reform, it is not land grabbing: it is the whole of policies concerning land. I really do feel it is not covered yet in Wikipedia. 

Second, and just to make sure: below the general comment it says (it is a general message, I guess): "Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer." Did you make any comments in the text as such? Because I am not sure how to look for them.  

In any case, thank you for taking the time to review my draft article! 

Regards,

[[User:Jur Schuurman|Jur Schuurman]] ([[User talk:Jur Schuurman|talk]]) 15:56, 16 June 2016 (UTC)
<!-- End of message -->[[User:Jur Schuurman|Jur Schuurman]] ([[User talk:Jur Schuurman|talk]]) 15:56, 16 June 2016 (UTC)

:Answering your second question first, the comments you saw were the ones noted in that message. So you did get the comments. Next, whether or not it merits a separate article is up to you. To be sure, you should make sure that your article integrates well with other related information in WP. The inter-relation between articles is what makes Wikipedia a viable knowledge base. Also, if there is information you could add to articles already there - even before creating your own article - then that would be ideal. Generally we like to have broad-based articles with short sections that point to more detailed articles where necessary. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 16:38, 16 June 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for your feedback! And while I'm at it, I have a technical question. You may have seen that in the article I have a box (in fact it is a two-row, one-column table) on Burkina Faso that I would like to make less wide (now it runs across the entire width of the page). How do I decrease the width of the only column so that it all looks somewhat nicer? Thanks in advance...

[[User:Jur Schuurman|Jur Schuurman]] ([[User talk:Jur Schuurman|talk]]) 07:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

== AfC reviewer thanks ==

Hi - I just wanted to say I really appreciate your excellent work reviewing [[user:janstrugnell|janstrugnell]]'s and my recent AfC drafts. I'm relatively new to writing biographies, so your feedback has been very helpful. So that you know that we're not ignoring your reccommendations, I'm saving up all non-acccepted drafts to fix up all together (e.g. adding key-publication bibliographies). <br>
Thank you again for the good work in looking through them. <span class="nowrap">[[User:Evolution and evolvability|T.Shafee(Evo&#65120;Evo)]]<sup>[[User talk:Evolution and evolvability|talk]]</sup></span> 06:16, 17 June 2016 (UTC)
:[[User:Evolution and evolvability|T.Shafee(Evo&#65120;Evo)]], you are welcome, and thanks for adding more women scientists to WP. Some of them simply may not have yet achieved notability, by WP's guidelines for academics. In that case, their articles can be submitted when they do. For academics to reach the "top of their field" often takes some time, so you might concentrate first on the "elders" within your area of interest. It's rather sad when the first article is done from obits :(. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 12:27, 17 June 2016 (UTC)

== 18:21:26, 17 June 2016 review of submission by Neutral Milk Motel ==
{{Lafc|username=Neutral Milk Motel|ts=18:21:26, 17 June 2016|declined=Draft:CoverHound}}


Hello LaMona! 
I just had a quick question. On my submission of CoverHound- was it more of an issue of references? 
Or on notability via the content?

Thanks!
[[User:Neutral Milk Motel|Neutral Milk Motel]] ([[User talk:Neutral Milk Motel|talk]]) 18:21, 17 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Neutral Milk Motel|Neutral Milk Motel]], the company has to be notable, and the sources have to show it. If the company is just an average company, there's not much you can do. WP isn't a directory of companies, although many company pages have been added that shouldn't have. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 20:04, 17 June 2016 (UTC)

==Draft:William_B.Taylor_(historian)==
This article is clearly notable as the subject passes [[WP:ACADEMIC]] with flying colors - his named professorships and achievement awards are more than enough to assert notability. Please let Amuseclio (who is a highly competent editor who is well able to assess the notability of historical topics) create her articles. See also the following sources: [https://books.google.dk/books?id=MTluAAAAQBAJ&pg=PR26&lpg=PR26&dq=%22William+B.+Taylor%22+historian&source=bl&ots=pbaLxSvwYZ&sig=3MdFfiAnNDzbkNEDeQllgGvuju8&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj4vqWt-bHNAhWFCiwKHQTlDdIQ6AEIUzAJ#v=onepage&q=%22William%20B.%20Taylor%22%20historian&f=false][https://books.google.dk/books?id=uOtz0qSEaW0C&pg=PA41&lpg=PA41&dq=%22William+B.+Taylor%22+historian&source=bl&ots=QVceEZv3K7&sig=B80N0JWqE7uX2j5VmoR8okvBrqI&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj4vqWt-bHNAhWFCiwKHQTlDdIQ6AEIRTAG#v=onepage&q=%22William%20B.%20Taylor%22%20historian&f=false][[User:Maunus|·maunus]] · [[User talk:Maunus|snunɐɯ·]] 16:00, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

::I don't doubt that the person passes wp:academic. However, we still don't allow unreferenced statements in blps. Notability and sufficient referencing are separate but equal requirements. Note that I'm not stopping anyone from creating articles - if the person is experienced they can create their articles directly in main space. AfC is not for the purpose of blocking articles but for getting them into good shape, meeting WP criteria. Pass it along if you wish, but it will get tagged as lacking sufficient references. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 16:28, 18 June 2016 (UTC)
:::There are literally tens of thousands of BLPs that are less well sourced than that article. And the reason you gave for your decline was lack of notability, not lack of sources. Also note that BLP does not require inline sources for every piece of information - only quotations and that which is "challenged or likely to be challenged" or "contentious".[[User:Maunus|·maunus]] · [[User talk:Maunus|snunɐɯ·]] 16:48, 18 June 2016 (UTC)
::::[[WP:OTHERSTUFFEXISTS]]. And note that the AfC templates are very limited in number, and often none of them actually meets the situation. That is why we have an area for comments. So unfortunately the only BLP-related one (and there isn't an academic-related one) says that it does not yet show that the person is notable. There is one for "not properly referenced" but the messages on that one are even less helpful. So we work with what we have, and I know that it can be confusing to the recipients. I would like for the templates to be better. Folks can always go to the talk page and ask for clarification. Those are the tools we have at the moment. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:55, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

== 05:45:01, 19 June 2016 review of submission by 203.106.157.104 ==
{{Lafc|username=203.106.157.104|ts=05:45:01, 19 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}


Can you explain on why "Intimate Confession of A Chinese Courtesan" (link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_Confessions_of_a_Chinese_Courtesan) can be published be published and not "Ma Su Chen (1972)" so that I can know what to improve for "Ma Su Chen (1972)". Both have the same source references and "Ma Su Chen (1972)" has more and one of the reference was suggested by one of your fellow reviewer. From what I can see so far is only some prejudice and bias among you reviewers which is unprofessional as a reviewer for wikipedia.

:WP exists on some social niceties which keep things running smoothly in most cases. First is that we [[wp:agf|assume good faith]] on the part of others. We all have different points of view and different abilities, but we assume that we are all here to create a high quality encyclopedia. Next, we are [[wp:civil|civil]] - it is uncivil to accuse others of prejudice and bias, and it would be best for you, if you are new here, to understand this. Name-calling is simply not appropriate, and you should refrain. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:59, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

== 10:01:21, 19 June 2016 review of submission by 89.8.23.101 ==
{{Lafc|username=89.8.23.101|ts=10:01:21, 19 June 2016|declined=Draft:Folkrörelsen_Nej_till_EU}}




If You see any language errors You can correct them.
:I haven't time to do copy editing. ''You'' can correct them, or you can ask for help at Peer Editing. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:44, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

== 11:44:04, 19 June 2016 review of submission by 203.106.156.98 ==
{{Lafc|username=203.106.156.98|ts=11:44:04, 19 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}


Can you explain why articles on these four movies - "Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Couetesan (1972)", "Furious Slaughter (1972)", "Fist of Fury (1991)", and "Insomnia Lover (2016)" - can be accepted to be published in Wikipedia? These articles have more or less the same source references as "Ma Su Chen (1972)". "Furious Slaughter (1972)" originally has fewer information and no source reference.
Links:-
1.	https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_Confessions_of_a_Chinese_Courtesan
2.	https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furious_Slaughter
3.	https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fist_of_Fury_1991
4.	https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insomnia_Lover

:There are many articles in WP that did not go through AfC, which is a fairly recent addition. It is also possible today for seasoned users to create articles directly in WP main space. Just because an article is there does not mean that it is a good article. Rather than look at other articles, you should be looking at the criteria for notability, and in particular the criteria for films. Adding more less-than-ideal articles to WP does not benefit anyone, and I assume that you are committed to the concepts of quality information that guide this encyclopedia. Note that each day hundreds of articles are deleted for not meeting the quality criteria. If you don't want that to happen to the article you are working on, you should continue working on it until it is out of that kind of danger. BTW, I've just marked those articles you mentioned as not meeting referencing criteria - that's the first step toward getting deleted. However, if you think those articles should remain, please provide additional references for them from reliable sources (not IMDB or HKMDB), and they will remain. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:55, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

== 17:35:04, 19 June 2016 review of submission by 203.106.156.98 ==
{{Lafc|username=203.106.156.98|ts=17:35:04, 19 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}

I ask you to explain, instead you go to the mentioned sites to remove the added information  and references. Then posting a idiotic template that is a consequence of you removing the references. Incompetent scumbag! You are only worth fucking yourself and eat your own shit! Damn you all, especially you and the first reviewer! This proves my point of what I said below. 

The wikipedia reviewer(s)who posted the "templates" for "Furious Slaughter', Fist of Fury', Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan, and 'Insomnia Lover) is/are incompetent prejudicial idiots! Rejecting article submissions for movies base on individual whims and fancies. Why? The "template" was not posted for these articles until being informed about the inconsistencies in accepting or declining a submission. These are only on the surface. There more of these type of articles. Idiot! One of the "template" posted is the consequence of the idiot reviewer removing two or three of the citation sources.

== Lawrence Watson ==

Dear LaMona,

We are resubmitting  the draft Lawrence Watson.  We have deleted and omitted a great deal of narrative that was not supported by documented references. Although some of these historical events were documented by black periodicals and local newspapers, their current online archives do not go back far enough to allow us to access the full length articles focusing on Mr. Watson.  We will have to pay and contact these resources that document for example his election to the Ithaca Board of Education, a significant historical moment. He is the founder of the Cornell University Festival of Black Gospel Music and other noteworthy firsts, that can be added at a later date.

Please specifically offer us guidance on what remains unacceptable in the current draft that impedes the publication of this entry for Mr. |Lawrence Watson.

You have raised the question of duplication and ambiguity of names.  If this remains a issue please consider using the name Lawrence "Larry-Butch" Watson or Lawrence "Larry" Watson.

We look forward to hearing from you.

User talk:Hattie Walker[[User:HattieWalker|HattieWalker]] ([[User talk:HattieWalker|talk]]) 17:46, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

::[[User:HattieWalker|HattieWalker]] - You can use non-online sources, so if those are where you found the information, please leave the information in and cite the sources. Since there won't be a convenient hyperlink, do make sure that you give as full a citation as you can, including place and date of publication and page numbers. I'm happy to send this along to main space (if no one does before me) but there still needs to be some copy editing to make the language meet WP's "formal, neutral, encyclopedic" language requirements. We don't editorialize here, such as "Watson embodies his positive message in his art and in his commitment to human and civil rights" - we just report the facts, e.g. "Watson founded..." 

::That can be done at any time, and remember that an article is never done and needs to be curated throughout its lifetime. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 19:00, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

== Draft:Morris Burke Belknap (1780-1877) ==

Thank you, LaMona, for your review of this draft for Morris Burke Belknap (1780-1877). You mention that one should not cite images from Wikimedia or Wikipedia as references but that it is okay to include the images themselves. I think you are probably referring to the illustration for the iron works. I remember citing the image because I did not know how to convert the image file to thumbnail size. This is a problem I frequently have. What is the accepted procedure for reducing the size of the image? I usually look for the file that says "thumbnail", but it often, as in this case, shows up greatly enlarged. I appreciate your careful editing. Thank you once again.[[User:Mitzi.humphrey|Mitzi.humphrey]] ([[User talk:Mitzi.humphrey|talk]]) 21:33, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

Hi, [[User:Mitzi.humphrey]]. I am not an expert on working with images. I can point you to the documentation [[Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Images#Size|here]], but if that is confusing (which it might be) you should ask at the Teahouse. They probably get this question all of the time. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 12:29, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

Thanks, LaMona. I'll take the question to the Teahouse.[[User:Mitzi.humphrey|Mitzi.humphrey]] ([[User talk:Mitzi.humphrey|talk]]) 18:44, 20 June 2016 (UTC)
Thank you again, LaMona. I printed up the pages recommended to me at the Teahouse, and I am becoming much more adept at managing image files.[[User:Mitzi.humphrey|Mitzi.humphrey]] ([[User talk:Mitzi.humphrey|talk]]) 20:38, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

== 03:42:22, 20 June 2016 review of submission by 203.106.157.108 ==
{{Lafc|username=203.106.157.108|ts=03:42:22, 20 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}


You postedin "Furious Slaughter" this template?
	''This article relies largely or entirely upon a single source. Relevant discussion may be found on the talk page. Please help improve this article by introducing citations to additional sources. (June 2016)''
This came bout because you the idiot reviewer remove two additional references from the edited "Furious Slaughter". Hey idiot reviewer.  There were three sources - hkmdb, imdb, and hkcinemagic, Do you know how to count? It became single because you remove the sources hkmdb & imdb.

:IMDB is not allowed as a reference, nor is hkmdb, because those are crowd-sourced. Wikipedia itself is also not allowed. If you continue to be uncivil you will be blocked from editing. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 12:31, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

== 07:25:43, 20 June 2016 review of submission by 1.9.100.170 ==
{{Lafc|username=1.9.100.170|ts=07:25:43, 20 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}

Check out these movie  articles https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Movie..._In_Your_Face , https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chow_Ken . The way these articles are presented and you all still accept them??!! What happen to notable and verifiable? This is plain double standards

== 07:34:26, 20 June 2016 review of submission by 1.9.100.170 ==
{{Lafc|username=1.9.100.170|ts=07:34:26, 20 June 2016|declined=Draft:Ma_Su_Chen_1972}}

Check out these movie  articles https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Movie..._In_Your_Face , https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chow_Ken . The way these articles are presented and you all still accept them??!! What happen to notable and verifiable? This is plain double standards.

== Request on 09:28:17, 20 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by MartinDiane ==
{{anchor|09:28:17, 20 June 2016 review of submission by MartinDiane}}
{{Lafc|username=MartinDiane|ts=09:28:17, 20 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:AppMixture}}

<!-- Start of message -->

Hi LaMona,

Thank you for reviewing my draft called AppMixture.

I would like to know the reasons why my draft was not accepted.
What are the criteria assessing whether an article is written in a neutral point of view? And why was my article considered as advertisement? Please let me know what I should edit in my article accordingly.

Also, regarding the references, they all come from a third party writer, either a journalist or a blogger. Please let me know your thoughts about the references too.

Thank you very much!
Diane

<!-- End of message -->Diane Martin 09:28, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

:The documentation on that is at [[Wikipedia:Neutral_point_of_view]]. It's the difference between stating facts and sounding like a marketing brochure. If you are used to writing marketing brochures, it may be hard to see it. I'll give some examples:

*"YES.TAP, AppMixture’s parent company, develops mobile solutions for food catering services to target customers on-the-go. The mobile apps they deliver allow customers to skip the queue by making contactless pre-orders and advance payment from their smartphone" --> "AppMixture's parent company, YES  TAP, develops apps for food catering service allowing ordering and payment from a smartphone."
*"Building on this, Google decided to use the YES.TAP app solution for an even more ambitious project. In September 2014, in cooperation with Bilder & DeClerq, YES.TAP launched a Remote Ordering & Payment app solution for Google. " --> "The YES.TAP app has been used by Google since 2014."(will need a citation)

:I hope this makes it clear. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 12:38, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 09:55:11, 20 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Mbabazi Linda ==
{{anchor|09:55:11, 20 June 2016 review of submission by Mbabazi Linda}}
{{Lafc|username=Mbabazi Linda|ts=09:55:11, 20 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Edmund_Kagire}}

Hullo LaMona, Greetings,my name is Linda, thanks for reviewing this article which I had created. I am requesting you to help me beef it up. The sources I had referenced are all independent and verifiable, save for a few from Wikipedia, about people and institutions. The page is about a journalist who is battling cancer. He has worked for notable media houses and still does even as continues to undergo treatment. Here is the link to the page. Kindly advise me how best I can enrich it, otherwise in my view he meets the notability test especially in this part of the world. Here is the link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Edmund_Kagire


<!-- End of message -->[[User:Mbabazi Linda|Mbabazi Linda]] ([[User talk:Mbabazi Linda|talk]]) 09:55, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Mbabazi Linda]], the fact that the person has cancer is not of concern to Wikipedia. Wikipedia only cares about the notability of the person. The problem with the article is that there is a lot of information there that isn't referenced to a third party source. You obviously know this person and have included information that you know directly, but that is not allowed. You can only include information that is verifiable in sources. It's a very different kind of writing from, say, writing for newspapers or journals. For example, the entire section on his early life is unreferenced. Even worse, it says "Kagire says his resolve to become a journalists was confirmed then." You cannot say that unless you have a verifiable reference, such as a newspaper article, that says that he says that. But in fact it is best not to include such statements about people's feelings or motivations, only statements of fact about what they actually did. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 12:43, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

== Vajrasati Yoga page ==

Hallo! Regarding the interconnected comments. Indeed these are part of the school's practice. Would citations help here? And as for the general comments about yoga you refer to, perhaps I could add (backed up) statements such as "in common with....." What do you think? Thanks! Ali [[User:MrAliMcCall|MrAliMcCall]] ([[User talk:MrAliMcCall|talk]]) 17:46, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

:Hi, [[User:MrAliMcCall|MrAliMcCall]]. You do indeed need references for all of the statements. And as for the general stuff, if you can, keep the article tight and use [[wp:WIKILINK]]s to take readers to more detailed information on the related info. Also, avoid terms like "great teachers" or other superlatives. That's what violates [[wp:NPOV]]. Just say "teachers". [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 17:57, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

Hi LaMona
I've beefed up my citations for the 'body as a doorway' comments and removed 'great' as a factual descriptive word Alos ensured I mention (and cite) that many of these techniques are common in yoga. Hope we're a little closer now. Sorry it took me so long, work, you know how it can be....Let me know ;-) Thanks! Ali [[User:MrAliMcCall|MrAliMcCall]] ([[User talk:MrAliMcCall|talk]]) 18:40, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 06:56:16, 21 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by NiravAsif ==
{{anchor|06:56:16, 21 June 2016 review of submission by NiravAsif}}
{{Lafc|username=NiravAsif|ts=06:56:16, 21 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:BCMC_College_of_Engineering_&_Technology}}

<!-- Start of message -->
Hi, 
I want to regarding  Draft:BCMC_College_of_Engineering_%26_Technology. This is a genuine information of an education institute. 


<!-- End of message -->[[User:NiravAsif|NiravAsif]] ([[User talk:NiravAsif|talk]]) 06:56, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:NiravAsif|NiravAsif]], it is the ''article'' that has problems, not the college. You must create an article that is styled like a wikipedia article. Do not include long lists of features of the college - write a textual article about it. Wikipedia is not a web page for the college, it is an encyclopedia. You also must include references for the information in the article. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:10, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== 10:31:35, 21 June 2016 review of submission by 2A02:C7F:681D:9900:569:6701:274D:6C6D ==
{{Lafc|username=2A02:C7F:681D:9900:569:6701:274D:6C6D|ts=10:31:35, 21 June 2016|declined=Draft:Jamie_Smith's_MABON}}


Good morning LaMona.
Thanks for your feedback a few months ago regarding the draft page mentioned above.

I've made substantial alterations according to your suggestions: rewritten the article to be less list-based; removed the reviews-sourced material; entered cross-references as wikilinks rather than citing pages; and ensured that the article contains no non-neutral points of view, as far as I can tell (unless they are from external sources).

In terms of notability, it is true that the band has not charted or recorded on a major label, because of the niche nature of its music and audience.  However, the band does meet several notability criteria, and I have tried to demonstrate them in the article:
 - "1. Has been the subject of multiple, non-trivial, published works appearing in sources that are reliable, not self-published, and are independent of the musician or ensemble itself"
   The Froots article quoted in the opening paragraph meets these criteria, as (I imagine) would the Guardian's "best music" lists;
 - "9.  Has won first, second or third place in a major music competition"
   The Everstiener award cited is Germany's foremost, Pan-European, world music award;
 - "12.	 Has been a featured subject of a substantial broadcast segment across a national radio or TV network"
   As well as the features on S4C (Wales' national television network) and BBC Radio Cymru (Wales' national, Welsh-language radio station) listed at the bottom of the article, the band's most recent "substantial broadcast segment" was a live session and interview on BBC Radio 3's "World on 3" programme - which show is itself considered to be a benchmark of notability in the roots and world music genre.

If these changes in style, content and format bring the article in line with wiki standards, then thank you for your help along the way, and I shall look forward to seeing it go live.
If not, please do leave further feedback so that I may refine until it's right.

(I will re-iterate my conflict of interests in posting the article, as I am a member of the band in question - but I am hoping that it is still possible to generate an unbiased, genuine Wiki entry.)

Best wishes,
iolo.

:First, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>.  Second, please make your conflict of interest clear on the talk page of the article and on your own user page. There are formats for that at [[WP:COI]]. Next, the article has formatting issues, and fixing those will make it much easier to assess the notability of the band. You need to use sections, and [[WP:SMOS]] gives you an idea of the usual way that articles are sectioned. Look at articles for bands to see how they are often divided up. Do not use Youtube videos of the band performing as references -- those are not ABOUT the band, and references must be ABOUT the band. Do not reference ANY wikipedia, not even german Wikipedia. Once this is cleaned up, resubmit. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:19, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== 11:40:46, 21 June 2016 review of submission by JeremyRenals ==
{{Lafc|username=JeremyRenals|ts=11:40:46, 21 June 2016|declined=Draft:8over8}}


Hi LaMona, 

re: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:8over8 (am I in the right place with this?)

I’m working through your comments, but still not getting it. Sorry to make you do this in your time out. I’m normally quite good at judging these things. You guys mostly make good sense so I hope you can help. I’ll be as exact as I can:

The references in general to notability (“No organization is considered notable except to the extent that independent sources demonstrate that it has been noticed by people outside of the organization”), I’d assumed that “…significant coverage in reliable, independent secondary sources” was covered with at least some of the 20 separate references. I get that being part of a FTSE250 company isn’t merit in itself, and that some references fall into the category of listings or mentions. However, regarding ‘unrelated reliable sources’ I’m not getting why the following are not sufficient: 
- http://www.irishtimes.com/business/technology/aveva-acquires-derry-software-firm-8over8-for-26-9m-1.2055126
- http://schnitgercorp.com/2015/01/05/aveva-snaps-up-8over8-for-contract-execution-management/
- http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/cambridge-based-aveva-buys-8over8-27m/story-25806814-detail/story.html
- https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-375870401.html
- https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-376694801.html
- http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-oil-companies-projects-idUKBRE9BG0NG20131217
- http://www.pennenergy.com/articles/pennenergy/2013/january/global-enterprise-license-agreement-for-shell-from-8over8.html
- https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-68311888.html

“The company may be notable, but this article doesn't reveal it.. ” I’d assumed that featuring in and winning industry awards would suffice. I didn’t mention that it was bought for £27m and had saved industry $12.4bn - I’ve added that now. 

“The products and customers sections here is promotional and should be re-written with wp:NPOV.” I’m pretty sure I’ve avoided stating opinions and assertions as facts, as well as facts as opinions, and I’ve aimed for non-judgmental language. I’ve also tried to give relative balance to a range of views, inasmuch as I haven’t overlooked anything negative. I’m wrestling with adding awards etc to demonstrate notability vs giving the impression of imbalance. In fact I deliberately wrote with a NPOV in mind, and am disappointed that I failed. It looked OK to me. Anyway, I’ve had a go at trimming these sections - hope it complies now. If not, can you help?

“Also, are there other points of view that should be included? Remember, this is an encyclopedia, not a company web page.” I didn’t omit any. They just didn’t show up in searches. I pretty much included anything that seemed notable from an independent source. As mentioned I’ve now trimmed back the sections you identified. If you consider that the ‘Other organisations’ section qualifies as ‘advertising and promotion’ then I guess I can pull it.

I’ve got to say, I’m looking at your criteria and definitions and thinking that this page complies, but if you still think I need help I’ll listen. 

Thanks very much, I appreciate your time.

[[User:JeremyRenals|JeremyRenals]] ([[User talk:JeremyRenals|talk]]) 11:40, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:JeremyRenals|JeremyRenals]], the criteria for companies at [[wp:core]] begins with: "When evaluating the notability of organizations or products, please consider whether they have had any significant or demonstrable effects on culture, society, entertainment, athletics, economies, history, literature, science, or education." A company being a company is not sufficient for notability. Making money, buying and being bought, having officials hired and leaving -- none of these attest to notability. Try to emphasize the aspects that are not "business as usual". Also, avoid referencing closed sources (Highbeam). Instead, provide a proper citation for the article, not just a URL. Some of your references are just warmed-over press releases (like [http://www.pennenergy.com/articles/pennenergy/2013/january/global-enterprise-license-agreement-for-shell-from-8over8.html this]). Those do not support notability and detract from the article because they look promotional. Only use sources that are analytic and neutral. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:27, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

Appreciate it. Thanks :)

== 12:52:20, 21 June 2016 review of submission by Saragigante02 ==
{{Lafc|username=Saragigante02|ts=12:52:20, 21 June 2016|declined=Draft:As_Lavradeiras_de_Amsterdam}}

My page got rejected, and I want to improve my page so I can get the page up on Wikipedia. What should I improve ? How can I get it up? Should I add more scourses ? [[User:Saragigante02|Saragigante02]] ([[User talk:Saragigante02|talk]]) 12:52, 21 June 2016 (UTC)Saragigante02

:[[User:Saragigante02|Saragigante02]], as this is a small, local group, it is going to be difficult to show notability. Wikipedia is not a place to create a web page for a group, it is an encyclopedia of topics that have been shown to be of importance. The way that we judge that importance is through what others have published about the topic. Those published works must be in widely accessible reliable sources like national newspapers. Most of your citations are to the group's own page, not to third-party sources. If third-party sources do not exist, then the group does not meet WP's criteria for notability. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:30, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== 13:32:11, 21 June 2016 review of submission by Rdmaxwell ==
{{Lafc|username=Rdmaxwell|ts=13:32:11, 21 June 2016|declined=Draft:Vance_H._Chavis}}

Thanks.  I have made the changes you recommended.  I also have a photo that I wish to add but that will have to occur later. Thanks for your patience and assistance.  --Raymond Maxwell

::First, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. Next, you still need to take what you have in further reading and incorporate those into the article as references. Obituaries are especially good sources of facts like date and place of birth, education, etc. An article like this rarely has a further reading section, and the ones you have here do not seem to fit what such a section would normally be. Also note that you have a stray reference at the very top of the page that I assumed you intended to place elsewhere. Please move it. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:34, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== Draft: Integrated landscape management ==

Hi LaMona
Thanks for your recent review of [[Draft:Integrated landscape management]]. I'm new to this, so took some queries to the teahouse (where I've pinged you) - perhaps I should just have written here instead, in which case, apologies! Anyway, I have attempted to fix the article in response to your review comments, and in response to the tips from the teahouse, and just re-submitted it. I am resisting the urge to repeat my teahouse questions here, but if you are able to follow the 'ping' to that space, and if you can offer any more specific suggestions for what needs to change (if my changes aren't already enough), I would be immensely grateful. I imagine it will be a while before it is re-reviewed, which could give me time to attempt to fix anything further that needs to change.

BTW I just scrolled down your page to see how an editor's talkpage works and am really upset by the abuse you get :-( THANK YOU so much for continuing to review/help out/be civil and nice in the face of some pretty nasty and deeply unnecessary language! You editors rock!!!
Sincere thanks for all you do [[User:Hazel Gough|Hazel Gough]] ([[User talk:Hazel Gough|talk]]) 15:04, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Hazel Gough|Hazel Gough]], you did well going to the Teahouse, and the article is much improved! I think it helps to get input from more than one person. It's back in the review queue and someone will get to it, although I warn you that we are backlogged at articles for review, so try to be patient. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 17:57, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 20:01:39, 21 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by 206.193.253.35 ==
{{anchor|20:01:39, 21 June 2016 review of submission by 206.193.253.35}}
{{Lafc|username=206.193.253.35|ts=20:01:39, 21 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Alan_J._Russell}}

<!-- Start of message -->
Hello LaMona, I am trying to understand where I need to add more reliable resources in the Dr. Alan J. Russell draft.  There are 3 places that list (citation needed) and while I understand the 3rd one, the 2 associated with his degrees leave me puzzled.  How do you cite a degree?

Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

<!-- End of message -->[[Special:Contributions/206.193.253.35|206.193.253.35]] ([[User talk:206.193.253.35|talk]]) 20:01, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

:You don't cite a degree - references are to be published information about him, preferably. Therefore if someone has written about him, for example in an article about awards that he won, and has given his "bone fides" including his education, then you can cite that. The main question is: where did you get this fact from? Assuming it's not out of thin air, then you need to show that it really is a fact. If necessary, you can cite his own CV, but that's the least preferred option. If you got him from Russell himself, because you work with him or know him socially, then you have what we call a [[WP:COI|conflict of interest]] and you need to make that clear, mainly on the talk page of the article. Our preference is that people do not write from their own personal experience and do not write about people they are close to, as it leads us to situations like this where there is information in the article, but we can't verify it. That's not very "encyclopedic" since encyclopedias are supposed to be about established facts. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 20:35, 21 June 2016 (UTC)

== 22:48:31, 21 June 2016 review of submission by Rbayha ==
{{Lafc|username=Rbayha|ts=22:48:31, 21 June 2016|declined=Draft:NIH_Office_of_Science_Policy}}


Hi.  Just wanted some clarification on what you mean by independent sources for my submission.  Other entries from NIH on Wikipedia, such as this one (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NIH_Office_of_Technology_Transfer#References) have no references but have been published.  Can I ask for your opinion of how I could get this published?  The NIH Office of Science Policy is an internationally recognized office and is a distinct entity within NIH and deserves its own page.

:[[User:Rbayha]], first, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>.  Next, the article you refer to did not go through the Articles for Creation review but was created directly in main space. Look at the box at the top and you see it was "post" reviewed and marked as not meeting the criteria. There are a lot of poor articles already in Wikipedia, which is why we now encourage that articles go through review. We want the best quality encyclopedia. Articles that do not meet the criteria can be deleted, and hundreds are deleted each day. If the office is internationally recognized there will be sources that confirm that, and you should add those to the article. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:44, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

== A kitten for you! ==

[[File:Cute grey kitten.jpg|left|150px]]
Thank you for approving my Draft page! I have been trying to get it into acceptable form for quite a while and was ready to give up if I failed again. Thank you!

[[User:Perrydigm|Perrydigm]] ([[User talk:Perrydigm|talk]]) 23:22, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
<br style="clear: both;"/>

== Added few reference for  the article M.K.C High School  ==

Hello! LaMona, I have added two reference supporting the article [[Draft:M.K.C High School]].  One of the link refers to the list of school published on the official website of Department of School & Mass Education, Government of Odisha. Could you please review the same once again and let me know if I can resubmit it once again.  <small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Javed.email|Javed.email]] ([[User talk:Javed.email|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Javed.email|contribs]]) 06:09, 22 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

:[[User:Javed.email]], first, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. Next, you can always resubmit if you have made significant changes. I would suggest, though, that you read through this guideline for schools: [[Wikipedia:Notability_(high_schools)]] and see if there isn't more that you could do. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:48, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 11:14:46, 22 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Kikiha ==
{{anchor|11:14:46, 22 June 2016 review of submission by Kikiha}}
{{Lafc|username=Kikiha|ts=11:14:46, 22 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Max_Nivelli}}

<!-- Start of message -->
Following your review, I've sent a message to [[Teahouse]] a few days ago but haven't received a response yet.  In my first message to you I mistakenly thought that I had omitted the footnotes in my submission draft, but they were all there (28 footnotes). All the facts in my draft are substantiated by reliable third-party sources, as you can see, so I don't understand the reason for the decline. Please enlighten me. [[User:Kikiha|Kiki]] ([[User talk:Kikiha|talk]]) 11:14, 22 June 2016 (UTC)  

<!-- End of message -->[[User:Kikiha|Kiki]] ([[User talk:Kikiha|talk]]) 11:14, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Kikiha]], there are a number of issues with your article that would be good to fix. In terms of formatting, WP does not use bolding except for the first use of the name of the article in the first sentence of the [[WP:LEAD]]. Next, you have paragraphs in the biography section with no references. Undoubtedly the information came from references that you already have, and you can use a reference more than once. It is a good idea to put a reference after statements of fact like where he was born, who and when he married, etc. For easier reading, I would break each of the two film descriptions into paragraphs - one as the introduction, one as the plot summary, and one as the reception. They do not need subheadings, just breaking up. I agree that the person is notable and that you have good references. It is just a matter now of creating a well-formed article. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 13:56, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Thank you [[LaMona]] for your comments - they are clear. I will correct and resubmit. [[User:Kikiha|Kiki]] ([[User talk:Kikiha|talk]]) 16:03, 25 June 2016 (UTC)

== 03:28:43, 23 June 2016 review of submission by Cini gra ==
{{Lafc|username=Cini gra|ts=03:28:43, 23 June 2016|declined=Draft:Les_Newman_OAM}}

Hello, LaMona
Please can you help with any information following your recent decline of the article LES NEWMAN OAM.
The submission is already supported by a multitude of linked references, wherever possible, so I am requesting some specifics to go forward. 
It would be of immense assistance if you could just say where/what are the exact problems? Otherwise it's guesswork, and the article is 2,700 words long. 
I note in your cv that you claim a "perhaps" unhealthy obsession with references and expanded references, so I'm sure you understand that not all facts are available as links on the internet - thus the need for Wikipedia - much information is only known in the real physical world.
For example, lists of past Presidents of regional societies only exist in bureaucratic documents in old filing cabinets and the memory of living elders. Is this the kind of thing you mean when you say there's not sufficient verifiable referencing? If so, how can I remedy it? 
Should sections of this history be deleted because they're not on the 'net?
What else precisely do you want verified and what kind of non-internet references are acceptable to you? 
Thanks for making the process simpler.
Cini gra[[User:Cini gra|Cini gra]] ([[User talk:Cini gra|talk]]) 03:28, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Cini gra|Cini gra]], '''all''' facts in an article must be verifiable in reliable sources. See: [[Wikipedia:Verifiability]] You can use sources that are not on the Internet, you just have to be sure that you include complete citations so that someone else could actually find and verify the data. If the lists exist only in the memory of elders, where did ''you'' get it from? The information has to have come from somewhere, we aren't dealing in magic here. We do discourage use of  [[wp:PRIMARY]] sources. If there is information that cannot be verified in a published source, it must be removed from the article. This is the nature of WP being an encyclopedia, and not a web site or a blog.  Articles are build from the information available in sources. The reason we rely so heavily on published sources is that WP is a compendium of well-documented information; if no one in academe or media has found the information worth writing about, then we consider the information non-notable as well as not verifiable. Also, consider that an article is never "done" - as other sources appear, you (or someone else) should return to the article to add any new information and the reference to that information. 

:Since we're here, I should also add that you should not include a long section giving the history of an organization in the midst of an article about a person. In fact, one or two sentences should be all. The article must be focused on the person solely. Then you can consider creating an article for the organization if it is notable and you have the sources. That would reduce the size of the article considerably, and also remove a great deal that isn't referenced. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:23, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

== 16:00:06, 23 June 2016 review of submission by CD0060576 ==
{{Lafc|username=CD0060576|ts=16:00:06, 23 June 2016|declined=Draft:Junior_Bandsman_Wing_Fulwood_Barracks_1961-63}}

Hello there, I'm somewhat bemused with your rejection on the above article and not too clear in my own mind for the rejection ....
If this article is not allowed I really need please to understand the reasons, in plain English. The story / article is true and historically factual correct and the photographs are factual from a reliable Sources (as mentioned)which are over fifty years old. The photographers who took this group photo (from Preston) doesn't exist along with the recruitment photograph taken by an Isle of Man newspaper.   

From my perspective this story / article fit perfectly on the Fulwood Barracks (wiki) site.

If this article needs a revamp of sorts please explain how this can be achieved. Preferably if someone wants to take ownership of this article are most welcomed.

Thank you for your efforts (not always appreciated :-)
Best Regards
Charles Dobson

:[[User:CD0060576]], first, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. Next, notability is defined on WP as a function of the sources provided, and various policies including [[WP:VERIFIABLE|verifiability]]. It is not a judgment about the reality of the topic, or the importance of the topic, but whether the information in the article is verifiable in reliable sources. Your article has no references and therefore the reader cannot independently verify the statements in the article. There is nothing here to show that you didn't make this up whole-cloth. Take some time to look at Wikipedia and you will see that articles are referenced, often heavily referenced. That is what is required. Note that there are no owners of articles here - all articles are open for anyone to edit. All work is done on a volunteer basis. If you don't want to provide references for this article, you can post at the Teahouse or on the to see if someone wants to take it on. Another place to post this would be [[Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history]]. If no one takes it up, the draft will expire in 6 months. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:54, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

== 16:47:14, 23 June 2016 review of submission by Wikiamulya ==
{{Lafc|username=Wikiamulya|ts=16:47:14, 23 June 2016|declined=Draft:Roder_(Taxi_Service)}}

Sources from the startup news page website Your Story have to be allowed to complete this publication. Startups do not have many third-party sources providing relevant information and Your Story has been blocked by Wikipedia policy. There are 3 articles on the website that can provide detailed, relevant information. Please allow citations from addresses belonging to the YourStory domain.

:I have no control over what is and what isn't blocked here. If the startup does not have sufficient reliable third-party sources then it does not meet WP's criteria for notability ''at this time''. It may in the future, but in general startups and other topics that that are not yet proven through reliable sources are not considered notable. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:57, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 20:21:24, 23 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by 82.33.183.90 ==
{{anchor|20:21:24, 23 June 2016 review of submission by 82.33.183.90}}
{{Lafc|username=82.33.183.90|ts=20:21:24, 23 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Junior_Bandsman_Wing_Fulwood_Barracks_1961-63}}

<!-- Start of message -->

Hello there,
many thanks for getting in touch so quickly. There are a several of points I would like to put forward.  

(1) I am not a Wikipedia expert and never will be, it's too unnecessarily complicated and the language is not plain and straight forward. Wiki assumes people like me who submit articles are wiki-experts, I'm not !! A little more tolerance would be appreciated please.

(2) It was mentioned I could of made this story up, which isn't true, I was there !!. If anyone who wants to verify this article should go to Manx National Heritage, as I say in my article ... This information was kindly provided by the Manx National Heritage (www.manxnationalheritage.im) who holds the Isle of Man Daily Times archive newspapers. 

(3) Finally it was mentioned this article could be sent to Wiki-Military Projects. I have had a look at these pages and I am completely dumbfounded. the complexity of how to redirect this article is a mine field (pun not intended) Any assistance in pursuing this option would be gratefully received, better still if anyone would like to forward this article would be heaven on earth.

I will apologise if I sound a little stressed as the whole experience has been a nightmare.  

Thank you for your time and efforts

Best regards
Charles Dobson ( Not forgetting the squiggles)

[[Special:Contributions/82.33.183.90|82.33.183.90]] ([[User talk:82.33.183.90|talk]]) 20:21, 23 June 2016 (UTC)
<!-- End of message -->[[Special:Contributions/82.33.183.90|82.33.183.90]] ([[User talk:82.33.183.90|talk]]) 20:21, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

:If you need more help, you can ask for help at the Teahouse. Just click on [[Wikipedia:Teahouse/Questions]] and once there click on the big blue box "Ask a question". Folks there are volunteers who help people unfamiliar with Wikipedia. Directing people to Manx National Heritage as a whole will not fulfill the criteria - the article will need citations to specific newspaper and journal articles, or even books. Again, if this is more than you wish to take on, you can let the draft expire. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 22:51, 23 June 2016 (UTC)

== Welcome to the Hall of Fame! ==

{| style="background-color: #F9B085; color:black; font-family:Avenir; border: 3px solid #000000; margin: 0.5em; padding: 0.5em{{border-radius|10px}}"
|-
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 130%;" |
[[File:Joska bodenmais pokale referenzen womens world award pokale.jpg|left|55px]] ''You are invited...'' [[File:Women in Red logo.svg|right|65px]]
|-
| <div style="background: #fff;margin-right: 10px;"></div>
| style="text-align: left;" | 
<big><big>[[Wikipedia:WikiProject Women in Red/Meetup/17|Women in Halls of Fame worldwide online edit-a-thon]]<br />
*Host: [[Wikipedia:WikiProject Women in Red|Women in Red]] 
*July 2016</big></big>
*<code><nowiki>#wikiwomeninred</nowiki></code>
|}--[[User:Ipigott|Ipigott]] ([[User talk:Ipigott|talk]]) 08:58, 24 June 2016 (UTC)
<small>(To subscribe, [[Wikipedia:Meetup/Women in Red/Invite/List|Women in Red/Invite list]]. Unsubscribe, [[Wikipedia:Meetup/Women in Red/Invite/Opt-out|Women in Red/Opt-out list]])</small>

== 13:39:50, 24 June 2016 review of submission by Simonflai ==
{{Lafc|username=Simonflai|ts=13:39:50, 24 June 2016|declined=Draft:Francesco_Renna}}

Hello LaMona,
now the page should be fine. Please, let me know if you know more than this.
Thanks,

Simon

:Hi, [[User:Simonflai]]. First, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. Next, have you read through [[WP:MUSICIAN]]? You need to emphasize the criteria that are there, such as recording with major labels and charting. I can't find information about the label Blue Garret. You cannot use Discogs, though, because it's not a "third-party" site -- anyone can edit it, so the musician himself could put whatever they want there. You have to use only reference sources that have editorial oversight. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:08, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

== 17:47:51, 24 June 2016 review of submission by 76.103.191.29 ==
{{Lafc|username=76.103.191.29|ts=17:47:51, 24 June 2016|declined=Draft:Leanplum}}


Hi, I was hoping you could tell me what I can do to make this article more acceptable for submission. I based my article off of Leanplum's competitors for consistency, so I'm not sure what I'm missing. Thanks for your help in advance!

[[Special:Contributions/76.103.191.29|76.103.191.29]] ([[User talk:76.103.191.29|talk]]) 17:47, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

:The company must be shown to be notable, and notability is judged on sources. Read the policy guidelines linked from the box on your user page. Also read [[WP:CORP]] and [[WP:GNG]]. You have only one independent source (directory entries do not support notability), and all it says is that the company raised funding. All companies raise funding. What makes this company notable? [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:22, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 20:50:54, 24 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Eperless ==
{{anchor|20:50:54, 24 June 2016 review of submission by Eperless}}
{{Lafc|username=Eperless|ts=20:50:54, 24 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Joseph_Fuller}}

<!-- Start of message --> I don't understand why you have rejected this submission. I have included references from important architectural journals and newspapers including the NY Times that talk positively about the subject's work. If you want me to remove the quotes from the article and just refer to the content of the articles that I am referencing, I can certainly do that. Please let me know what is going on. I am new to submitting work, so I am not sure what you are referring to, since I believe that there were 14 references like the New York Times article.----


<!-- End of message -->[[User:Eperless|Eperless]] ([[User talk:Eperless|talk]]) 20:50, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 21:35:28, 24 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Eperless ==
{{anchor|21:35:28, 24 June 2016 review of submission by Eperless}}
{{Lafc|username=Eperless|ts=21:35:28, 24 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Joseph_Fuller}}

<!-- Start of message -->

I have removed everything that is not supported by a major newspaper or magazine article. I have also removed words of praise that are not direct quotes about the function of buildings. I can't imagine how you can say that the references are not independent of the subject. They include the NY Times, the Stamford Times, and many architectural journals. Fuller has created many significant Educational buildings. Almost every paragraph in the article has a reference to a newspaper or magazine article. I am new at Wikipedia and html, but referencing is referencing, no? I have used Turabian for years, and went over your referencing section as I compiled the references. How can you say that I have not included major newspapers when the references include the New York Times?----


<!-- End of message -->[[User:Eperless|Eperless]] ([[User talk:Eperless|talk]]) 21:35, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Eperless|Eperless]], please see [[WP:VERIFIABLE]]. Yes, you have good references, but you must have references for all of the information in the article, and the entire Career and company section is unreferenced. We have to know where that information comes from. Also, you list the awards as references but they aren't actually references -- just names of the awards. Awards, in particular, have to be verifiable. I can't parse "Schooldesigner Best Bronze Academy of Info by Fuller D’Angelo" to figure out what the name of the award actually is. "SCHOOLDESIGNER" as a search turns up some Microsoft product. You also have red wikilinks in the article. If you expected those to link to a Wikipedia article, you probably need to make sure that you have the right text between the brackets. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:00, 25 June 2016 (UTC)

== 21:47:21, 24 June 2016 review of submission by Eperless ==
{{Lafc|username=Eperless|ts=21:47:21, 24 June 2016|declined=Draft:Joseph_Fuller}}


Thank you for your comments, LaMona.
As far as Notability is concerned, I believe that Fuller qualifies under points 2 and 3 of Creative Professionals. In tems of point 2, AITE is a significant new concept, in that it exposes the technology of the building as a teaching guide for technology students. The quotes from the Stamford Times article make this clear. As far as point 3 goes, I have cited 16 magazine and newspaper articles, including one in the NY Times.
I have also removed any words of description from the text that might be interpreted as other than factual.
Thank you for your consideration.----

:[[User:Eperless]] - please read what I told you. I am not questioning notability, but you must provide references for all statements of fact in the article. Also, the ending punctuation for talk pages is four tilde's not four hyphens. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 16:07, 25 June 2016 (UTC)

== [[Draft:Bob Bryar]] ==

Hey there! Just reminding you that the redirect [[Bob Bryar]] has been deleted from your comment on [[Draft:Bob Bryar]]. Thanks. '''[[User:Sekyaw|<span style="color: purple">Sekyaw</span>]]''' [[User_talk:Sekyaw|<span style="color: green">(talk)</span>]] 23:08, 25 June 2016 (UTC)
:Thanks - got it! [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 23:48, 25 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 08:56:20, 26 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Micko.west ==
{{anchor|08:56:20, 26 June 2016 review of submission by Micko.west}}
{{Lafc|username=Micko.west|ts=08:56:20, 26 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Micko_Westmoreland}}

<!-- Start of message -->

Hi, Please help me as I am very unclear as to how to quote/cite reliable source references, as I have been told to 'Remove all in-line http links - not allowed'. I thought that this was the method used in order for references to be verified.

Many thanks

micko westmoreland


<!-- End of message -->[[User:Micko.west|Micko.west]] ([[User talk:Micko.west|talk]]) 08:56, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

:See [[Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Linking]] - linking within the text only uses Wikilinks. External links ("http") belong only in the External links section. Note that I left a conflict of interest and username policy on your talk page. This is very important and you must respond to this before continuing editing. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:17, 26 June 2016 (UTC)


==Regarding rejection of draft Mame Khan==

LaMona, 

Thank you for your help with the article. I re-worked it and added more sources. I hope this has imporved the article. In case you have time to look again at it I would be grateful for your feedback. ( is this the right place to contact you?).   <!-- Template:Unsigned --><small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:LillyMusic|LillyMusic]] ([[User talk:LillyMusic|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/LillyMusic|contribs]]) 07:03, 26 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

:[[User:LillyMusic]], first here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. And also, always put your message at the bottom of the page. As for the article, it is good that you have added references, but all references must be published sources ABOUT the artist, not links to his works online. Also, the sources must be [[wp:rs|reliable]] by WP standards, which means no social media, no fan sites, etc. You still have a lot of unreferenced material (I marked some of it). The problem is that you first wrote the article from what you know or have learned somewhere, and then you looked for references. A WP article should be written in the reverse of that: first you find references, then you write the article from what you have in the references. Try sketching it out from that point of view and see what you have. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:56, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

== 14:25:01, 26 June 2016 review of submission by Progwriter ==
{{Lafc|username=Progwriter|ts=14:25:01, 26 June 2016|declined=Draft:Karibow}}

Hi LaMona,
since there was no problem with acceptance of the same article (of almost identical content) in the German Wiki, it would be helpful if you'd let me know which passages/content of the text you think need more reliable sources, so I can try and find them. There are more picture ressources as well if that would help prove what's said within the text. Thanks a lot for your help, so I can add the necessary sources as soon as possible.

: [[User:Progwriter]], first, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>. Next, each language wiki has its own rules, so you need to familiarize yourself with the various policies here on @en Wikipedia. I gave you good hints about the problem with the sources, so how about you follow those first. You need to compare all of your sources with [[wp:rs]]. This might help: [[Wikipedia:Reliable_sources_checklist]]. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 20:18, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

== Closing of draft submission ==

Regarding your closing of [[Draft:Rita Schwarzelühr Sutter]]. Did you notice that [[Rita Schwarzelühr-Sutter]] already exists? [[User:Debresser|Debresser]] ([[User talk:Debresser|talk]]) 17:32, 26 June 2016 (UTC)
:No, thanks, I don't usually check for that. Big waste of time, eh? An auto-check on the draft would be ideal. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 20:14, 26 June 2016 (UTC)
:: In this case the is a subtle difference in spelling, and an auto-check might not have found the article. In any case, you night want to tweak the closure because of this small fact. [[User:Debresser|Debresser]] ([[User talk:Debresser|talk]]) 14:31, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 06:35:23, 27 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Tejka007 ==
{{anchor|06:35:23, 27 June 2016 review of submission by Tejka007}}
{{Lafc|username=Tejka007|ts=06:35:23, 27 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:SafeGrowth}}

<!-- Start of message --> 
Thank you LaMona,

I am unclear how much more I require to include. At least six of my sources are legitimate scientific journals, international scientific conferences on crime prevention, and publishing houses. Can you please advise how many more verifiable sources I require?

There may be some confusion since 2nd Generation CPTED is the original foundation of the SafeGrowth concept, but readers must know how one has evolved into the other. This is a major new movement in crime prevention and I feel it is a shame to exclude it from Wikipedia.

Here are the source verifications:

Abramovic’s study on 2nd Generation CPTED (the foundation of SafeGrowth) was published in the proceedings of an international scientific conference in 2004.
Calthorpe’s book was pubslihed by the Princeton Architectural Press.

Coupeland’s study on SafeGrowth was published by the government of Alberta

Saville’s 2nd Generation CPTED study (which the foundation of SafeGrowth) as published by CRC press.

Saville’s 2009 SafeGrowth study was published by the Built Environment journal from Cambridge University.

Saville and Mangats article on SafeGrowth was published by the Local Initiatives Support Corporation, a Congressionally funded national non-profit based in New York.

-----------------  <!-- Template:Unsigned --><small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Tejka007|Tejka007]] ([[User talk:Tejka007|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Tejka007|contribs]]) 04:21, 28 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

Hello,

I would like to check with you on how you suggest that I improve my post by including reliable and verifiable sources. I have cited several sources in text and provided background information for the concept of SafeGrowth, whcih is built upon CPTED (especially 2nd generation) and urban planning (Smart Growth). The article then also links directly to published SafeGrowth material such as the ones by Saville and Saville & Mangat. 

Looking forward to your reply.

Thank you and kind regards,

Tejka007

<!-- End of message -->[[User:Tejka007|Tejka007]] ([[User talk:Tejka007|talk]]) 06:35, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Tejka007|Tejka007]], having some sources isn't enough -- every statement of fact in the article must come from reliable sources and be [[WP:VERIFIABLE]] in those sources. In other words, your information has to have come from somewhere, and you need to show where that it. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 14:27, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

== Regarding rejection of draft https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:NVIDIA_SHIELD ==

Hello LaMona, 

Thank you for reviewing the article. The reason for creating the article was to correct the misconception that NVIDIA SHIELD is a product - specifically, the SHIELD Portable. SHIELD is actually a family of three different products. If possible, could you please refer to the main NVIDIA SHIELD page on shield.nvidia.com where the three products in the SHIELD family are linked. 

Would it be better to edit the SHIELD portable page to become the family page and then create a new portable page instead?

Thank you.
[[User:Esoterickal|Esoterickal]] ([[User talk:Esoterickal|talk]]) 19:56, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

:[[User:Esoterickal|Esoterickal]]  - Hi, thanks for stopping by. Yes, you guessed it - it would be better to clear this up on the [[Nvidia]] page. Then, if there is much more to say about it (and there are enough references) you can create a linked article that goes into more detail. The preference, though, is to keep topics together where possible, which is better for readers, rather than scattering related information in different articles. See what you can do at Nvidia. You should read through the talk page there, and begin to engage with others on that page, in case there are other editors who are watching the article. There you can discuss the need to move SHIELD out to its own page, leaving a brief description on the Nvidia page and of course creating the appropriate links between the documents. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 20:25, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

== 20:53:04, 27 June 2016 review of submission by TheTruthCreator ==
{{Lafc|username=TheTruthCreator|ts=20:53:04, 27 June 2016|declined=Draft:Locky}}

:Hi. I can't answer a question that wasn't asked ;-). [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 21:00, 27 June 2016 (UTC)

== 06:49:31, 28 June 2016 review of submission by 103.194.119.66 ==
{{Lafc|username=103.194.119.66|ts=06:49:31, 28 June 2016|declined=Draft:Chinta_Pratap_Kumar}}

[[Special:Contributions/103.194.119.66|103.194.119.66]] ([[User talk:103.194.119.66|talk]]) 06:49, 28 June 2016 (UTC) pls tell me what I need to change for my article to be posted .

:You must style the article as per Wikipedia's manual of style. I gave you that information in the comment. If you cannot do this on your own, ask for help at the Teahouse. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:10, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

== 11:54:16, 28 June 2016 review of submission by 86.173.209.129 ==
{{Lafc|username=86.173.209.129|ts=11:54:16, 28 June 2016|declined=Draft:Maryam_Eisler}}


I've made the changes and hopefully met the requirements now. If there are still issues please let me know! Thank you very much.

:I sent it on to main space and we'll see if it survives. I was surprised that the charity with her and her husband's name was not included. Remember that no article is ever "done" so this could require more work. I did some editing, added fuller citations for the books, created section heads. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:41, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

== Maurice Green (virologist) draft advice  ==

We are seeking your advice on how to get final approval of our draft Wikipedia entry for Maurice Green (virologist). This is the first Wikipedia page that we have created, and so we are a bit confused and are still learning!
 
The person being described (Maurice Green) is a highly accomplished research scientist. As such, we modeled our draft entry on the established pages for a number of analogous research scientists-- the links to four of these individuals are provided below (for David Botstein, David Baltimore, Howard Temin, and Eric Lander). In all of these other cases, the main text summarizing the scientists research careers cited References that are papers written by those researchers (in other words, the cited scientific publications provided the support for the text). Also below, we give examples of the subjects’ papers being cited in the text and that are included in the Reference section).
 
[[David Botstein|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Botstein]]  (see References 8, 10, 11, 12—papers published by David Botstein)
[[David Baltimore|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Baltimore]]  (see References 17, 25, 27, 28, 59—papers published by David Baltimore)
[[Howard Temin|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Martin_Temin]]  (see References 2, 7, 8—papers published by Howard Temin)
[[Eric Lander|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Lander]]  (see References 3, 8, 9, 10, 16—papers published by Eric Lander)
 
In developing Maurice Green’s Biography text, we cite ~10 key papers co-authored by Maurice Green that support the points being made. This is very similar to what was done for the Wikipedia pages of the above four researchers. Is there a reason why we cannot use the same approach for the Maurice Green page?
 
Meanwhile, you suggested moving Maurice Green’s papers to a Bibliography section. However, we did not find an example of a researcher’s page having a separate Bibliography section for their published work; in all cases that we looked at, the researcher’s papers were included in the main References section. Would it be okay if we keep Maurice Green’s papers in the main Reference section since they support important points in the main text?
 
Finally, the other sources of information supporting the text (besides the published papers of Maurice Green) come from family members, in particular Eric Green, M.D., Ph.D.. Is there a way we should be citing Eric Green as a source of most of this biographical information? We were not exactly sure how to do so since there isn’t a published document or web-based citation that we can use for this.
 
We are receptive to modifying the draft Wikipedia entry, but are uncertain what to do in light of the above explanations. Thanks for helping us finalize this Wikipedia entry!  <!-- Template:Unsigned --><small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Cardinals90|Cardinals90]] ([[User talk:Cardinals90|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Cardinals90|contribs]]) 19:35, 28 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

::{{u|Cardinals90}} - the first thing I need to say is that the "we" above is concerning. Wikipedia does not allow users to share accounts - every user account must be for an individual. If this is not the case, then you need to make sure that everyone editing has their own personal account. Next, do not base your decisions on what you see in other articles. DO read the policies. Key ones here are [[wp:rs]], [[wp:primary]], [[wp:or]]. It isn't hard to find articles with bibliographies - [[Bent_J%C3%B8rgensen_(statistician)]], [[Benoîte Groult]], [[William Inboden]], etc. Note, as per [[wp:or|original research]] you cannot take information from family members. You can only use information that comes from published sources. If there is no published source that says that he did certain research, then you are engaging in original research when you write that. Basically, you are declaring yourself as the expert, but with no editor or peer review. That is what is not permitted. Also look at [[wp:coi|conflict of interest]] - if you are talking to family members, you are probably too close to be writing this article. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 19:51, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

== 21:07:44, 28 June 2016 review of submission by TracieBurns ==
{{Lafc|username=TracieBurns|ts=21:07:44, 28 June 2016|declined=Draft:Lloyd_A._Jeffress}}

I believe I have made the changes you requested, including taking out "stories" and significantly trimming the publications list. In doing so, however, I found that I had left out a section that I meant to include under Life in Science. Thus, I do not know that the article is shorter, but I do know that it is tighter. I hope you can review again and reply to me soon if you have any other issues. Thank you very much for your feedback. 
[[User:TracieBurns|TracieBurns]] ([[User talk:TracieBurns|talk]]) 21:07, 28 June 2016 (UTC)TracieBurns

==Phoenix Country Club Second Rejection==

Hello [[User:LaMona|LaMona]],

I apologize for what may appear to be persistent confusion however I remain somewhat confused by your rejection of my article for creation [[Draft:Phoenix Country Club|Phoenix Country Club]]. You rejected the article on the grounds of a lack of references. As far as I can tell, all of my text is supported by cited references. If you could explain to me which text in the draft is unsupported I would appreciate it. I apologize for my submission's insufficiencies.

Thanks,

[[User:Historiarvm Arizonensis|Historiarvm Arizonensis]] ([[User talk:Historiarvm Arizonensis|talk]]) 22:42, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

{{u|Historiarvm Arizonensis}} I marked sections needing references. If need be, you can re-use references more than once in an article, but a statement like "The club also hosted the Western Open in 1941 and 1942." needs a reference. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 23:07, 28 June 2016 (UTC)
:Also, the link from Barry Goldwater to ''Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street'' as a reference for his belonging to the club does not show up for me in a search of that book. Ideally, all of the named "famous people" would be referenced. The Golf Connoisseur magazine article does not mention the club. And page 190 of Wright & Ditson's Officially Adopted Lawn Tennis Guide doesn't appear to say what you say in the article. Those are the references I checked, and they do not check out. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 23:15, 28 June 2016 (UTC)
::[[user:LaMona|LaMona]], I'm sorry, I didn't notice that you had done me the courtesy of marking where citations were needed. Thank you so much for doing so and thank you for your helpful suggestions. I will get to work improving my article immediately and have it resubmitted as soon as possible. [[User:Historiarvm Arizonensis|Historiarvm Arizonensis]] ([[User talk:Historiarvm Arizonensis|talk]]) 23:27, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 23:48:38, 28 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by AuthorKJ ==
{{anchor|23:48:38, 28 June 2016 review of submission by AuthorKJ}}
{{Lafc|username=AuthorKJ|ts=23:48:38, 28 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Richard_S._Darling}}

<!-- Start of message -->

Which references are you referring to that don't have anything to do with the subject?

<!-- End of message -->[[User:AuthorKJ|AuthorKJ]] ([[User talk:AuthorKJ|talk]]) 23:48, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

:Although you say that he commissioned the poll about kidney donors, none of the articles that I can access connect him to the poll. He may have been involved through the organization, but that isn't about him if he isn't mentioned. Assuming that he was instrumental, without direct sources, is called [[WP:SYNTH]] -- drawing conclusions that are not in the references. It isn't allowed. In fact that entire section on the poll would be appropriate for an article on the organization, but not on him unless he is shown to be directly involved. He isn't mentioned in the article on the Wellness hour. That the show of the Wellness hour "included guests such as Dr. Andrew Ordon in his pre-"The Doctors" days" is not about Darling, it's about Ordon and the show. You have to stick to information that is directly about Ordon. Also, you cannot use Facebook as a source - it isn't reliable. Darling's own writings or appearances on TV are not ABOUT him they are BY him. The article is [[WP:UNDUE]] and needs to be greatly reduced in size and content. This isn't a magazine article about him, it is an encyclopedia entry. Just the facts, in as plain language was possible. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 00:07, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

<!-- Start of message -->

OK I understand. Thank you.

<!-- End of message -->[[User:AuthorKJ|AuthorKJ]]

== Draft of Michael Stever-Rejection ==

Hello LaMona,

First, thanks for taking on the review of the Michael Stever draft. Second, I understand and
thank you for the clear explanation and for pointing the way forward.

(I love books and libraries and having read your background applaud you loud and long for
your work as a librarian. In my book - pun intended - that makes you tops.)

--[[User:Wordmasternewyork|Wordmasternewyork]] ([[User talk:Wordmasternewyork|talk]]) 00:05, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== 01:30:23, 29 June 2016 review of submission by TracieBurns ==
{{Lafc|username=TracieBurns|ts=01:30:23, 29 June 2016|declined=Draft:Lloyd_A._Jeffress}}

Re: Lloyd Jeffress Memorial Resolution. Unbelievably, UT has pulled this document down after 15 years online. It was there as recently as two weeks ago! I have sent a note to the Faculty Council to get them to repost, especially as this deletion could well effect other WP pages we know nothing about. I'll chase it down, and get back to you tomorrow, if possible. There is another version on the American Psychological Association's PsychNet, but it's a pay access rather than open access, so I would prefer UT solve its problem so that you can get to the PDF - which I have, but which is no longer anywhere else online except in Google searches. I'll be back in touch as soon as I know something. 

Other than this citation problem, do my other fixes resolve your issues?

Thank you for a quick response. [[User:TracieBurns|TracieBurns]] ([[User talk:TracieBurns|talk]]) 01:30, 29 June 2016 (UTC)TracieBurns

:Thanks to the Internet Archive, you can link to it [https://web.archive.org/web/20151016191841/http://www.utexas.edu/faculty/council/2000-2001/memorials/SCANNED/jeffress.pdf here]. I haven't time right now to look at the rest, so resubmit and let's see what other reviewers think. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:09, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== 07:29:16, 29 June 2016 review of submission by 206.214.54.68 ==
{{Lafc|username=206.214.54.68|ts=07:29:16, 29 June 2016|declined=Draft:Friends_World_College}}




Please identify the portions of the article that you deem unsupported so I can remove them and submit that is acceptable [[Special:Contributions/206.214.54.68|206.214.54.68]] ([[User talk:206.214.54.68|talk]]) 07:29, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

:Please read [[wp:rs]] - sources must be independent of the subject of the article, not that subject's own web page. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:10, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 12:08:29, 29 June 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Hedybaker ==
{{anchor|12:08:29, 29 June 2016 review of submission by Hedybaker}}
{{Lafc|username=Hedybaker|ts=12:08:29, 29 June 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Hai-Lung_Dai}}

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I need to take down Provost Hai-Lung Dai's wiki entry. He is no longer in this role and I don't want it on wikipedia as is. How do you delete an entry? Thanks. Hedy

<!-- End of message -->[[User:Hedybaker|Hedybaker]] ([[User talk:Hedybaker|talk]]) 12:08, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

:If you blank the page, it will eventually be deleted. If that doesn't work, come back and I'll give you option #2. Give it a few days to be deleted, though. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:11, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== 15:03:50, 29 June 2016 review of submission by TracieBurns ==
{{Lafc|username=TracieBurns|ts=15:03:50, 29 June 2016|declined=Draft:Lloyd_A._Jeffress}}


Re: Lloyd Jeffress. UT is migrating their web platform (predictably), so that is why the Memorial Resolution for Lloyd Jeffress link went dead. I imagine that's going to happen quite a bit for UT over the next 6 months. The PDF is up, but I don't know how to cite it because you can't link directly to it. You link to a page of Memorial Resolutions, then go down to the Jeffress PDF. 

Here is the site: https://wikis.utexas.edu/display/facultycouncil/Memorial+Resolutions, but then you have to scroll down to jeffress.pdf.

So, the good news is that the Memorial Resolution exists online, but the bad news is this new double-click access. How should I handle this?

Thank you, [[User:TracieBurns|TracieBurns]] ([[User talk:TracieBurns|talk]]) 15:03, 29 June 2016 (UTC)TracieBurns

:didn't see this right away. The Internet Archive version should be stable - they don't change URLs. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:12, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== Draft: Zuto ==

Hi LaMona - I noticed you have rejected the draft for the page Zuto. With the additional award entries and PRNewsWire content now removed from the page, would you consider this draft fit for re-submission? Keen to work with you to get this page live!  <!-- Template:Unsigned --><small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:DConnor17|DConnor17]] ([[User talk:DConnor17|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/DConnor17|contribs]]) 15:14, 29 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

:Hmmm. You have this interesting tendency to write adverts for companies. I'm not keen on letting this through, and it seems others feel the same way. WP is not to be used for advertising. It cheapens the encyclopedia and makes a mockery of the honest work that has been done here. Don't count on me. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 16:46, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== 17:36:38, 29 June 2016 review of submission by 86.132.14.205 ==
{{Lafc|username=86.132.14.205|ts=17:36:38, 29 June 2016|declined=Draft:Graeme_Kirkpatrick}}


This is not a request for a re-review just a clarification, take on board the points re guidance and reviews and considering redrafting,but would the convention for Wiki be to include references to reviews of his books etc within the article?

== 17:55:55, 29 June 2016 review of submission by 86.132.14.205 ==
{{Lafc|username=86.132.14.205|ts=17:55:55, 29 June 2016|declined=Draft:Graeme_Kirkpatrick}}


This is not a request for a re-review just a point of clarification- take on board your point about notability and I’m considering re-drafting. But is the convention for Wiki to include references to reviews of the book within the article, and would that mean expanding the article to include discussion of why a particular reviewer/journal/ academic thinks the work is important maybe ? Or do I just need a link to show that it has been reviewed by a range of prominent journals in the field, in the way that external links to book show the books actually exists? 

Sorry, if I’ve posted this twice trying to get used to the system ! ☺ [[Special:Contributions/86.132.14.205|86.132.14.205]] ([[User talk:86.132.14.205|talk]]) 17:55, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

:Don't worry about posting twice ;-). Generally, references are cited when the book is mention in the text, or in a list in a bibliography, but not both. That does NOT mean expanding the article to include the discussion of why the reviewer said what he/she did, unless you have ANOTHER source that addresses that. You do not get to do any explaining - that is left to the published sources. The reviews show that reliable sources thought the book was worth their time to review. Reviews do not have to be positive; in fact, you should not eschew reviews that are less than flattering, in the interests of honesty. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:08, 29 June 2016 (UTC)

== 00:11:50, 30 June 2016 review of submission by Angusparker ==
{{Lafc|username=Angusparker|ts=00:11:50, 30 June 2016|declined=Draft:Island_Conservation}}
{{SAFESUBST:Void|

Dear LaMona:

First, let me thank you for taking the time to review the Draft: Island_Conservation. It is much appreciated. I recognize that I have a COI as I am on the all volunteer board of the organization being described. But on the other hand, there are few people with wikipedia savvy able to write a detailed article on this important organization that is at the forefront of its field. Hence, the draft and request for review.

Your comment was "Good article, but must focus entirely on the organization, not on the general island problems. All references must be about the organization, not general problems. This means reducing the article in size. An article on the problems of island conservation is also plausible." So if I take out Section 2 and 4 would that be sufficient? I imagine that the 44 references with news articles, scientific journals and press releases from US Government Agencies, UN Agencies and major Conservation NGOs are adequate?

Thank you for your help.

Best, Angus

PS I will also commit to making no further edits to the page once it is accepted  <!-- Template:Unsigned IP --><small class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[Special:Contributions/2601:646:2:338D:3978:4494:79A1:63F7|2601:646:2:338D:3978:4494:79A1:63F7]] ([[User talk:2601:646:2:338D:3978:4494:79A1:63F7|talk]]) 00:30, 30 June 2016 (UTC)</small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

:Thanks, Angus. From my quick reading, it's only the section starting "Island focus" that drifts off, but you know the article best so edit with that in mind. Meanwhile, the article [[Island ecology]] could possibly get a link to your organization once the article goes live - interlinking is what helps people find related articles. And if you have anything to add to that article, PLEASE DO! [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 01:47, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

:Perfect. I'll chop that bit off and add some of the content to the [[Island Ecology]] page down the road. If I resubmit it tomorrow would you be able to review it again? Cheers Angus [[User:Angusparker|Angus Parker]] ([[User talk:Angusparker|talk]]) 02:28, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

::It may not come to me - we get articles in some kind of random rotation. I will try to remember to look for it, though. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 02:32, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

:::Thanks. Will need to get the redirect removed to [[Island ecology]] as well so that [[Island Conservation]] with a big C goes to the right content. Best, Angus [[User:Angusparker|Angus Parker]] ([[User talk:Angusparker|talk]]) 02:35, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

:::Resubmitted the article having removed the "excess" island stuff and added an additional reference from CBS News. Hopefully you will get a chance to review it again. Thanks. Remember the redirect has to be removed from [Island ecology] and the tile of the page is [Island_Conservation] with a big C. Thanks for all your help. Best, Angus[[User:Angusparker|Angus Parker]] ([[User talk:Angusparker|talk]]) 04:26, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

== 08:58:05, 30 June 2016 review of submission by 203.59.96.162 ==
{{Lafc|username=203.59.96.162|ts=08:58:05, 30 June 2016|declined=Draft:Aaron_McCann}}


The data supplied is for an Australian public figure who already has a wikipedia page for one of their projects and has directed a number of projects. 
His IMDB page is here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1622138/ 
I have even provied references to his twitter and facebook accounts.

:IMDb, Facebook and Twitter are not reliable sources by WP's definition. The latter two are his own writings, thus not ABOUT him but BY him, and are informal communications. IMDb, like Wikipedia itself, is open to editing by anyone, and therefore is not a reliable source. See [[wp:rs]] for a definition of reliable sources. Generally that means published sources like newspapers and journals. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 15:35, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

== Rejection for DRAFT: Emily Zapotocny ==

Hello, I'm new to this whole Wikipedia thing (aren't we all), and I'm confused on what is missing from my contribution?  I've compared it to  other similar pages, and I just can't seem to figure out if I don't have enough sources or what is wrong?  Help please, thanks!  <!-- Template:Unsigned --><small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Ezapotocny|Ezapotocny]] ([[User talk:Ezapotocny|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Ezapotocny|contribs]]) 18:12, 30 June 2016 (UTC)</span></small> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

:First, here on talk pages you need to sign your messages with four tildes, like <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>.  Next, your username is "Ezapotocny" which appears very close to the name of the person whose page you are attempting to create. You may have chosen the name by mistake - the username is supposed to represent you, and you can edit any Wikipedia pages you would like, so you should not create a username that is the same as a page you are creating. The other option is that you ARE the person and you are creating an autobiography -- the latter is greatly discouraged, to the point of being a violation of Wikipedia policy. If so, you should cease editing. 

:To change your username to something that represents you, follow the instructions at Wikipedia:Changing_username, in particular see the fourth point under "Alternatives to consider." 

:That covered, you need to familiarize yourself with Wikipedia and its policies. Begin by reading [[wp:rs]] which is a page about reliable sources. Also read [[wp:n]] and [[wp:Notability (people)]]. To be in Wikipedia there has to be a certain level of proof of notability, which you will see described on those page. It isn't a matter of the number of references but the ''quality'' of references. You cannot use Wikipedia or IMDb as references - you need newspaper or magazine articles that are substantially about the person (e.g. feature articles). [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:26, 30 June 2016 (UTC)

== 17:30:03, 1 July 2016 review of submission by Tukombo ==
{{Lafc|username=Tukombo|ts=17:30:03, 1 July 2016|declined=Draft:Malawi24}}




In the BBC link (reference), the BBC cites "local media report" with a reference to Malawi24. Other re-knowned publications like News24 have cited Malawi24 for articles'; and if the BBC or News24 are not credible enough, Facebook has verified the page. May need to look more into Western 'credible' reference materials, but the fear is this explains why Wikipedia has more entries from the global north than global south; a trend that is often seen throughout western platforms. e.g. twitter would verify even a councilor in the UK but you have twitter handles for presidents in different African countries not verified. Man cant change this norm, coz man dont care about all that. Did my part. You can put the entry for speedy deletion. Others will have to create their own entry

>>> http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-africa-35231594?ns_mchannel=social&ns_source=twitter&ns_campaign=bbc_live&ns_linkname=56952b8520000086ab5a4bb0%26Malawi%27s%20celebrated%20woman%20freedom%20fighter%20dies%2616.49&ns_fee=0#post_56952b8520000086ab5a4bb0

:[[User:Tukombo]] - It is absolutely true that @en Wikipedia's policies favor the Western North. I personally think that dividing WP by language, rather than by region, may not have been the best idea, but I can't change that. Twitter never verifies anyone, nor does Facebook. Mentions and cites also don't support notability. That's true for everyone. The policies say that you must have sources that are ABOUT the subject of the article. If you have access to local media (newspapers, magazines) that carry articles about the station, those are what will support notability. From what little I can find, Malawi24 has done some important breaking stories, and you need just a few sources that actually say that. You most likely will not find what you need in Western sources, but the sources can be from any reliable publication. [[User:LaMona|LaMona]] ([[User talk:LaMona#top|talk]]) 18:30, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

== Request on 21:10:13, 1 July 2016 for assistance on [[Wikipedia:Articles for creation|AfC]] submission by Jkaczmarczyk ==
{{anchor|21:10:13, 1 July 2016 review of submission by Jkaczmarczyk}}
{{Lafc|username=Jkaczmarczyk|ts=21:10:13, 1 July 2016|declinedtalk=Draft:Marcelo_Lehninger}}

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I'm asking after this draft article that was rejected: Severl points were made, probably because of boilerplate. I'm not clear what's the most important concern.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Marcelo_Lehninger
I can easily add section headers and I will if that's the primary issue. I didn't because I've observed that other brief articles on individuals don't either.
The rejection as given suggests I've used ambiguous sources. I used legitimate news sources except for two awards. I sourced the organization that awarded them. I can replace them with news coverage of the award, but I thought the actual organization rated higher in legitimacy.
The suggestion that Marcelo isn't notable enough has merit. But the two previous music directors of the Grand Rapids Symphony have articles in Wikipedia, and for both, their tenure with the Grand Rapids Symphony was the pinnacle of their careers. I think the precedent speaks for itself. What's more, Wikipedia also has articles for Grand Rapids Symphony's principal pops conductor, Robert Bernhardt, and even for its associate conductor, John Varineau. Thanks in advance for your time and trouble.

<!-- End of message -->[[User:Jkaczmarczyk|Jkaczmarczyk]] ([[User talk:Jkaczmarczyk|talk]]) 21:10, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

== 01:37:04, 2 July 2016 review of submission by TracieBurns ==
{{Lafc|username=TracieBurns|ts=01:37:04, 2 July 2016|declined=Draft:Lloyd_A._Jeffress}}

I just saw you had provided an Internet Archive link. Thank you very much. I never got an email on this to know you had replied, and I didn't know that you would reply to a section that wasn't the most recent, so I lost a couple of days there. At any rate, the fix on the briefly AWOL Memorial Resolution is made, and the article is resubmitted. I will watch this space and the others, as well as the article itself for additional notices. [[User:TracieBurns|TracieBurns]] ([[User talk:TracieBurns|talk]]) 01:37, 2 July 2016 (UTC)TracieBurns