View source for Talk:History of Macedonia (ancient kingdom)/GA1

==GA Review==
{{Good article tools}}
<noinclude>{{al|{{#titleparts:History of Macedonia (ancient kingdom)/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}<br/></noinclude><includeonly>:''This review is [[WP:transclusion|transcluded]] from [[Talk:History of Macedonia (ancient kingdom)/GA1]]. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''</includeonly>

'''Reviewer:''' [[User:Iazyges|Iazyges]]&nbsp;([[User talk:Iazyges|talk]] '''·''' [[Special:Contributions/Iazyges|contribs]]) 02:25, 10 May 2017 (UTC)

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*Will start soon. [[User:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Iazyges</span>]] [[User talk:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Consermonor</span>]] [[Special:Contributions/Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Opus meum</span>]] 02:25, 10 May 2017 (UTC)

{{ping|Iazyges}} hello. Is this review still active? --<strong>[[User:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:blue;">Pericles of Athens</span>]]</strong><sup>[[User talk:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:#0000CD;">Talk</span>]]</sup> 16:37, 29 June 2017 (UTC)

::{{ping|Iazyges}} hi again. We are now moving into July here. Should I request that someone else review the article? --<strong>[[User:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:blue;">Pericles of Athens</span>]]</strong><sup>[[User talk:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:#0000CD;">Talk</span>]]</sup> 20:16, 6 July 2017 (UTC)
::: {{Ping|PericlesofAthens}} Hey, I'm really sorry about not getting to this; I've been super inactive in general, but should be coming back now. I'll try to get this done today, if possible. -- [[User:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Iazyges</span>]] [[User talk:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Consermonor</span>]] [[Special:Contributions/Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Opus meum</span>]] 01:41, 7 July 2017 (UTC)
==Criteria==
{{collapse-top|GA Criteria}}
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GA Criteria:
*1
*:1.a {{tick}} (In spite of Copy-editing notice on talk page, the article is quite well put together)
*:1.b {{tick}}
*2
*:2.a {{tick}}
*:2.b {{tick}}
*:2.c {{tick}}
*:2.d {{tick}}
*3
*:3.a {{tick}}
*:3.b {{tick}} 
*4
*:4.a {{tick}}
*5
*:5.a {{tick}}
*6
*:6.a {{tick}}
*:6.b {{tick}}
{{collapse bottom}}
*No Copyvio {{tick}}
*No DAB links {{tick}}
*No Dead links {{cross}} "Hellenism in Macedonia" link appears to be dead.

==Prose Suggestions==
===Lede===
*"founded in the mid-7th century BC during the period of Archaic Greece and lasting until the mid-2nd century BC." Should lasting be lasted? I think it's good enough either way, but it feels a bit odd to me.
*"During the age of Classical Greece, Perdiccas II of Macedon (r. 454–413 BC) became heavily involved in the Peloponnesian War (431–404 BC) between Classical Athens and Sparta," may wish to remove the "heavily", or change it to "directly," if its a case of indirect interference before entrance into the war.
===Body===
*"the latter believed to have had the mythical Heracles as one of his ancestors." Is "the latter" applying to Temenus of Argos here? Given the absence of a singular former, it seems a bit odd; may want to change it.
*" in which the Macedonian kingdom was largely autonomous yet was expected to provide troops and provisions for the Achaemenid army" you may want to change "yet" to "but".
*"In that same year, Sitalces, according to Thucydides, invaded Macedonia at the behest of Athens to aid them in subduing Chalcidice and punish Perdiccas II for violating the terms of their peace treaty." may want to make it "to punish Perdiccas" II..."
*"Perdiccas III had reached the age of majority and took the opportunity to kill his regent Ptolemy" What was the age of majority for them, at the time? If it's in the source you may wish to add it.
*{{Ping|PericlesofAthens}} Thats all my suggestions; and again, sorry for being so late. -- [[User:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Iazyges</span>]] [[User talk:Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Consermonor</span>]] [[Special:Contributions/Iazyges|<span style="color:#838996">Opus meum</span>]] 01:59, 7 July 2017 (UTC)

;Reply
{{ping|Iazyges}} hi Iazyges! No worries about the wait. It's summer; people should be busy!
* I removed that dead link that you mentioned in the external links section.
* It honestly should be "lasting" instead of lasted; it makes more sense grammatically (using the [[past progressive]] tense, since it was established at the beginning of the sentence, i.e. in the clause, that we were using past tense).
* I changed the word "heavily" to "directly" in that sentence about Perdiccas II. Good catch!
* I tweaked the sentence about Temenus of Argos being a descendant of Heracles, as the old tale asserted.
* Per your suggestion, I have edited the sentence about Macedonia being autonomous while providing military support to the Achaemenid Empire.
* I added an extra "to" in the sentence about Sitalces allying with Athens to defeat Perdiccas II.
* Well, in ancient times, unlike modern times where the law clearly states the [[age of majority]], it was more of a private or communal agreement when a boy was to be considered a young man (usually involving a ceremony of some sort). Like today, the precise age varied from culture to culture, but when we're talking about royalty and princes ascending to the throne, it becomes a different matter. In this context, "age of majority" simply means the moment when the boy prince decides, preferably after careful counsel and consideration, that he is old enough and competent enough to take the throne and have the [[regent]] or [[Steward (office)|steward]] retire from their role as temporary caretaker of the kingdom (or have them killed if necessary). This could happen at any age really, and in the case of Perdiccas III we obviously know the year in which he died, but not when he was born! As far as I know, we do not know his exact age when he had his regent killed in 365 BC. I hope that answers your question! Thanks for taking the time to review the article. --<strong>[[User:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:blue;">Pericles of Athens</span>]]</strong><sup>[[User talk:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:#0000CD;">Talk</span>]]</sup> 03:19, 7 July 2017 (UTC)

== Non-reviewer comments ==

The following short cites don't work: Renault 2013, Eckstein, 2013, Gruen1986. <span style="font-family: serif; letter-spacing: 0.1em">–&nbsp;[[User:Finnusertop|Finnusertop]]</span> ([[User talk:Finnusertop|talk]] ⋅ [[Special:Contributions/Finnusertop|contribs]]) 18:33, 7 July 2017 (UTC)

{{ping|Finnusertop}} hello! Thank you very much for pointing this out; I had no idea these sources were missing from the list. I have added them into the "sources" sub-section of the article. Conveniently they were already located in the article "[[Macedonia (ancient kingdom)]]" where much of the information in this article was originally found before I created the sibling/split article here. Something must have happened in the transfer process and these sources didn't make it to my list. I'll try to be more careful next time! Cheers. --<strong>[[User:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:blue;">Pericles of Athens</span>]]</strong><sup>[[User talk:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:#0000CD;">Talk</span>]]</sup> 18:46, 7 July 2017 (UTC)
:That's great, {{u|PericlesofAthens}}. I usually don't bother others with these fixes if they can be found in other articles with high confidence, but since this one is undergoing GA and you are obviously knowledgeable with the sources, I thought it was better to let you do it. Good luck with the GA process! <span style="font-family: serif; letter-spacing: 0.1em">–&nbsp;[[User:Finnusertop|Finnusertop]]</span> ([[User talk:Finnusertop|talk]] ⋅ [[Special:Contributions/Finnusertop|contribs]]) 18:53, 7 July 2017 (UTC)
:{{re|PericlesofAthens}} Renault 2013 missing. <span style="font-family: serif; letter-spacing: 0.1em">–&nbsp;[[User:Finnusertop|Finnusertop]]</span> ([[User talk:Finnusertop|talk]] ⋅ [[Special:Contributions/Finnusertop|contribs]]) 17:42, 12 August 2017 (UTC)
::It was a typo that should have been "2001" instead of "2013" after Renault. I have fixed it. Thanks for pointing it out! --<strong>[[User:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:blue;">Pericles of Athens</span>]]</strong><sup>[[User talk:PericlesofAthens|<span style="color:#0000CD;">Talk</span>]]</sup> 18:14, 12 August 2017 (UTC)