View source for Talk:Mario & Luigi: Dream Team/GA1

==GA Review==
{{Good article tools}}
<noinclude>{{al|{{#titleparts:Mario &#38; Luigi: Dream Team/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}<br/></noinclude><includeonly>:''This review is [[WP:transclusion|transcluded]] from [[Talk:Mario &#38; Luigi: Dream Team/GA1]]. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''</includeonly>

'''Reviewer:''' [[User:ShiriEdits|ShiriEdits]]&nbsp;([[User talk:ShiriEdits|talk]] '''·''' [[Special:Contributions/ShiriEdits|contribs]]) 02:57, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

<!-- Please add all review comments below this comment, and do not alter what is above. So that the review can be kept within a single section, please do not use level 2 headers (==...==) below to break up the review. Use level 3 (===...===), level 4 and so on.-->
Will start the review today. [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 02:57, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%; width:50em"
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! height=50|[[Wikipedia:Good article nominations|GA]] review<br>{{small|(see [[Wikipedia:Good article criteria|here]] for what the criteria are, and [[WP:GACN|here]] for what they are not)}}
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#It is '''reasonably well written'''.
#:a ''(prose, spelling, and grammar)'': {{GAList/check|yes}}<br/> b ''([[Wikipedia:Manual of Style|MoS]] for [[WP:LEAD|lead]], [[WP:LAYOUT|layout]], [[WP:WTW|word choice]], [[WP:WAF|fiction]], and [[Wikipedia:Embedded list|lists]])'': {{GAList/check|yes}}
#It is '''factually accurate''' and '''[[Wikipedia:Verifiability|verifiable]]'''.
#:a ''(references)'': {{GAList/check|yes}} <br/>b ''(citations to [[WP:RS|reliable sources]])'': {{GAList/check|yes}} <br/>c ''([[Wikipedia:No original research|OR]])'': {{GAList/check|yes}} <br/>d ''([[Wikipedia:Copyrights|copyvio]] and [[Wikipedia:Plagiarism|plagiarism]])'': {{GAList/check|yes}}
#It is '''broad in its coverage'''.
#:a ''(major aspects)'': {{GAList/check|yes}} <br/>b ''(focused)'': {{GAList/check|yes}}
#It follows the '''[[WP:NPOV|neutral point of view]] policy'''.
#:''Fair representation without bias'': {{GAList/check|dunno}}
#It is '''stable'''.
#:''No edit wars, etc.'': {{GAList/check|yes}}
#It is illustrated by '''[[Wikipedia:Images|images]]''', where possible and appropriate.
#:a ''(images are tagged and non-free images have [[Wikipedia:Non-free_use_rationale_guideline|fair use rationales]])'': {{GAList/check|dunno}} <br/>b ''(appropriate use with [[WP:CAP|suitable captions]])'': {{GAList/check|yes}}
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'''Overall''':<br/> 
''Pass/Fail'': {{GAList/check|neu}}<!-- Template:GAReview -->
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! height=30|[[File:Symbol_support_vote.svg|15px]] · [[File:Symbol_oppose_vote.svg|15px]] · [[File:Symbol_wait.svg|15px]] · [[File:Symbol_neutral_vote.svg|15px]]
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===1a (prose)===
{{!xt|and published by Nintendo for the Nintendo 3DS. handheld console.}} Remove the handheld console part. When a casual reader hovers over the Nintendo 3DS article with their cursor, they can see that the Nintendo 3DS console is a handheld console from the very first sentence: "The Nintendo 3DS is a handheld game console produced by Nintendo." The reader can see from the very first sentence that the Nintendo 3DS is a handheld console so you should replace it with  {{xt|and published by Nintendo for the Nintendo 3DS.}} (sorry if this sounds a bit nit-picky) --[[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 03:32, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

:I'm not sure how an extraneous period got in there as well. {{Done}} [[User:Panini!|<span style="color:#F40">Panini!</span>]] <span style="color:#F40">•</span> [[User talk:Panini!|🥪]] 13:00, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

{{!xt|After release, Nintendo launched a Nintendo 3DS XL themed after the game, which with Dream Team installed on it.}} "which with" doesn't really make grammatical sense to me. You can rewrite it as {{xt|After release, Nintendo launched a Nintendo 3DS XL themed after the game, which had Dream Team installed on it.}} or {{xt|After release, Nintendo launched a Nintendo 3DS XL themed after the game with which Dream Team was installed on it.}} Other than that, the article is understandable enough for a casual reader to understand it with a basic knowledge of video games in general. {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:17, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

:Seems like that was an accident. {{Done}} [[User:Panini!|<span style="color:#F40">Panini!</span>]] <span style="color:#F40">•</span> [[User talk:Panini!|🥪]] 12:59, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

===1b (MoS)===
The lead section properly follows [[WP:Manual of Style/Lead section]] and properly summarizes the entire article. {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 09:56, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

Layout conforms to the guidelines in [[Wikipedia:Layout]]. {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:17, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

The article does not use [[WP:Peacock|puffery]] words that inappropriately advertise the game in question,  [[MOS:ACCUSED|words that undermine]] points, [[WP:Weasel|weasel]] words, and passes most guidelines in [[Wikipedia:WTW]] except for [[MOS:SAID]]. {{!xt|sales tracker Media Create speculated this was due to Pikmin 3 also being in high demand.}} Maybe this is in violation of [[MOS:SAID]], but I'm not sure if this violates it. {{GAList/check|dunno}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:17, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

:Just to be on the safe side, I switched to said. {{Done}}e [[User:Panini!|<span style="color:#F40">Panini!</span>]] <span style="color:#F40">•</span> [[User talk:Panini!|🥪]] 13:04, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

=====MoS (fiction)=====
{{!xt|Krupa found the Dream World to be much more engaging than the real world and was much duller and graphically uninteresting overall.}} This sentence is very confusing to the reader because the sentence does not clarify what "real world" means. Is it the real world of the game or the actual real world (in Earth)? Clarify what real-world means in this sentence. [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:17, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

:Reworded to help allay confusion, which interestingly is today's Wordle. {{Done}} [[User:Panini!|<span style="color:#F40">Panini!</span>]] <span style="color:#F40">•</span> [[User talk:Panini!|🥪]] 13:09, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

===2 (References)===
The references are reliable and there are no [[WP:NOR]] violations. [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:43, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
===2d: plagiarism===
Checked through copyvios.toolforge.org and no significant violations of plagiarism. Most of the detections are just quotations from reviewers and developer interviews. Link: https://copyvios.toolforge.org/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&title=Mario+and+Luigi%3A+Dream+Team&oldid=&action=search&use_engine=1&use_links=1&turnitin=0| {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:43, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
===3: It is broad in its coverage.===
The article covers the gameplay, plot, development, and reception. It is very broad in its coverage so I will give this a pass. The article very slightly violates being focused on only the game itself because it gives a slight mention of its successor, [[Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam]], but it's only one sentence and doesn't go too deep on the details of the game, so it still gets a pass.  {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 04:53, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

===6b: (suitable captions)===
The images are appropriately captioned. {{GAList/check|yes}} [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 03:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)


Will pass this over to a trusted editor since I am not sure on various parts whether or not they pass. [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 09:56, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

:<small> assisted </small> Set the 2nd Opinion Flag for ya :) [[User:PerryPerryD|<span style="background:black; color:#00ffa6; padding:2px; ">PerryPerryD</span>]] <small>[[User_Talk:PerryPerryD|Talk To Me]]</small> 14:06, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

<br> Hey, I'll be giving a second opinion on this article for criteria 4 and 6a which haven't been evaluated. Final pass/fail decision will be up to the original reviewer. [[User:Bluecrystal004|Bluecrystal004]] ([[User_talk:Bluecrystal004|talk]] · [[Special:Contributions/Bluecrystal004|contribs]]) 20:52, 2 June 2022 (UTC)

=== Second opinion ===

'''Images''' {{icon|ga}}
*Fair-use rationales look good to me.
*All other images are free.

'''NPOV''' {{icon|ga}}
*No NPOV concerns from me, everything gets due weight without bias.

<br>I know, I know, I said I was just evaluating a couple of criteria, but I couldn't resist a full review. There are some prose/spelling ({{xt|green text}}) and OR/sourcing ({{!xt|red text}}) concerns that should be addressed before promotion.

'''Lead''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}
*{{xt|where gameplay becomes two-dimensional}} Consider establishing that the gameplay is normally 3D earlier in the lead. Also mention this at the start of the Gameplay section
*{{xt|The series' final original installment, Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam, released for the Nintendo 3DS in 2015.}} Doesn't really seem relevant to ''Dream Team'', I would consider removing this altogether

'''Gameplay''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}
*{{xt|Dream Team features general gameplay similar to previous Mario & Luigi titles;}} Should probably clarify this - maybe "Dream Team features top-down RPG gameplay..."
*{{xt|and are mapped to separate buttons on the Nintendo 3DS.}} Suggest changing to "who are mapped"
*{{xt|The goal is to save Princess Peach from Bowser and Antasma and return Pi'illo Island to its former state. To do so, Mario and Luigi must traverse Pi'illo Island to retrieve the "Dream Stone" from Bowser and Antasma, who plan to use its powers for evil.}} I'd remove all of this, as it's covered in the Plot section and doesn't really deal with the gameplay.
*{{xt|Mario and Luigi explore the island in a overworld fashion,}} Because of the above change, make "the island" -> "Pi'illo Island"
*{{!xt|Mario and Luigi explore the island in a overworld fashion, and its locales are broken up in a level-like fashion.}} I'd avoid this phrasing as it's somewhat [[WP:OR]]. Consider something like ''Mario and Luigi explore Pi'illo Island, whose locations act as individual "levels".''
*{{!xt|This is completed when Dreamy Luigi assumes the form of a certain object, referred to as "Luiginary Works";}} The term "Luiginary Works" doesn't show up in the sources used
*{{!xt|for example, if Dreamy Luigi assumes the formation of the sky,}} Source doesn't mention this
*There's a number of references to "{{!xt|button sequences}}" when the source just says you have to time a button press to pull off an action command. I'd rephrase these sentences.
*{{xt|Boss battles involves turning the 3DS}} "involves" -> "involve"

'''Plot''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}

Relatively easy prose fixes here.
*{{xt|The two discover the location of the Dream Stone}} Change "the two" to "Mario and Luigi", since the last "two" mentioned is Bowser and Antasma
*{{xt|When they summon the Zeekeeper, it's hostile at first}} Don't use contraction
*{{xt|it shoots a powerful beam and destroys the barrier and causing the castle to fall and land on the island.}} Replace second "and" with a comma to fix grammar
*{{xt|When they enter the castle and overcome obstacles by Kamek,}} I'd make it "made by Kamek" or something similar
*{{xt|but is bested and defeated by Mario and Dreamy Luigi.}} "bested and defeated" is redundant, just use "defeated"
*{{xt|Meanwhile, Bowser attempts to scape the island via a Koopa Clown Car,}} scape -> escape
*{{xt|but coins begin to rain from the sky from the Dream Coin}} Suggest changing to "because of the Dream Coin" instead

'''Development''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}
*{{xt|In addition, they released a relaxation kit containing a blanket, blanket case, and blindfold for their Club Nintendo rewards program in Europe, themed after Luigi and Princess Peach.}} Source says it's two different kits, not one, one for Luigi and one for Peach
*{{xt|After finishing the last title in the Mario & Luigi series,}} "last" -> "previous"
*{{xt|the developers conceptualized ideas that all of which involved Bowser;}} "that all of which" -> "that all"
*{{xt|guiding a large number of Luigi to an end goal}} "Luigi" -> "Luigis"
*{{xt|, "maybe as many as seven"}} No real reason to include this
*{{xt|In the original installments of the Mario & Luigi series,}} Italicize "Mario & Luigi"
*{{xt|The development of Dream Team began prior to the discovery of the 3DS's advancements to start over anyway,}} "advancements to start over anyway" seems like a mistake, and I'm not sure what you're trying to convey
*{{xt|they used Dream Team to experiment what amount of tutorials are needed and the data would be incorporated into the next title.}} Would recommend changing to ''they said they used Dream Team to experiment with what amount of tutorials are needed, and that the data would be incorporated into the next title.''
*{{xt|One instance, however, had the Bihldorff changing a character duo}} "had the Bihldorff" -> "had Bihldorff"
*The last paragraph here uses a lot of present tense, whereas the other details of the development used past tense. I'd consider changing this but I suppose I wouldn't let this prevent GA promotion.
**Thanks for fixing this; I reread this and it definitely needed to be changed, not sure what I was thinking.

'''Reception''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}
*{{xt|Nintendo Life's Thomas Whitehead likened the fact}} "likened" -> "liked"
*{{xt|excessive use of tutorials made Dream Team begin to a slow start}} "being to a slow start" -> "begin slowly" or "get off to a slow start"
*{{xt|but the game fell into a "satisfying rhythm", according to Parkin, when completed.}} Clarify "when ''tutorials'' were completed"
*{{!xt|Much like previous titles, combat was lauded amongst critics}} Remove "Much like previous titles" for [[WP:NOR]]
*{{xt|He, alongside Whitehead, also called out a specific gameplay element}} Personally I don't like "called out" here and would opt for a different term ("called out" to me would imply that it's a bad thing, but they were praising it)
*{{xt|Some critics, however, felt the dream gimmick was not used to its full expense.}} "expense" -> "potential"
*{{xt|Positively, Whitehead found the Bros. Attacks were successfully weaved into its platforming elements.}} Does this belong in the "graphics and worldbuilding" subsection?
*{{xt|and the Dream World took the worldbuilding}} "and ''said'' the Dream World..."
*{{xt|Towell praised the various use and amount of gimmicks in both universes but ultimately felt they were used too well, making the platforming sessions dull in comparison.}} Again, this seems like more of a comment on gameplay mechanics than graphics.

*{{xt|double the sales of its runner-ups}} What does "runner-ups" mean here?
*{{xt|Despite the top placement}} Top placement on what?
*{{xt|sales tracker Media Create said this was due to Pikmin 3 also being in high demand.}} "said this was due" -> "said this may have been due"

'''References''' {{icon|ga}} - {{done}}
*All sources are reliable, checked against [[WP:VG/RS]]
*Ref 20 is a dead link

'''Optional''' {{icon|ga}}
*Won't hinder GA nomination, but you could consider putting Plot before Gameplay, per [[WP:VGLAYOUT]] since it would help explain the Dream World mechanics and Pi'illo Island.
*Personally would prefer in-line citations to be in numerical order in the Reception section, but again not required for GA. {{done}}

{{ping|Panini!}} Here are my thoughts on the article. Sorry there's a bunch, I can get a little overzealous with this sort of thing. Since I expect these won't take too long, I'll hold the review awaiting fixes/responses for them. Once these are addressed the pass/fail decision will be up to you, [[User:ShiriEdits|ShiriEdits]]. {{On hold}} [[User:Bluecrystal004|Bluecrystal004]] ([[User_talk:Bluecrystal004|talk]] · [[Special:Contributions/Bluecrystal004|contribs]]) 01:41, 3 June 2022 (UTC)

{{ping|Panini!}} This article '''passes''' the criteria for GA, but it should be {{On hold}} because the issues listed by my review and [[User:Bluecrystal004]]'s review have not been solved yet. The article will be GA'ed when the issues are solved. [[User:ShiriEdits|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">ShiriEdits</b>]][[User talk:ShiriEdits|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 02:08, 3 June 2022 (UTC)

:As [[User:Panini!|Panini!]] is currently on Wikibreak, I've taken the liberty of addressing the remaining points. [[User:Cat&#39;s Tuxedo|Cat&#39;s Tuxedo]] ([[User talk:Cat&#39;s Tuxedo|talk]]) 16:01, 7 June 2022 (UTC)

::{{ping|Cat&#39;s Tuxedo}} {{ping|ShiriEdits}} All my points have been addressed, looks Passable to me! Handing over the pass/fail decision to original reviewer. Thanks for your work on this article [[User:Panini!|Panini!]]

::{{ping|Cat&#39;s Tuxedo}}, {{ping|Bluecrystal004}} this article is '''Fail-''' SIKE! This article is {{icon|ga}}  '''passed'''! This GA should be passed and this review is finished. Sorry if I nearly triggered both of you, just could not resist pulling off a joke GA announcement before saying the actual result of the GA haha.

Congratulations to the nominator, [[User:Panini!|Panini!]] since this article is now GA! :D [[User:Spodle|<b style="background:#0d1125;color: lightskyblue;padding:1q;border-radius:5q;">Spodle</b>]][[User talk:Spodle|<sup>Talk</sup>]] 09:30, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

:Thanks for the review @[[User:ShiriEdits|ShiriEdits]], thanks for the assistance @[[User:PerryPerryD|PerryPerryD]], thanks for the second look-over @[[User:Bluecrystal004|Bluecrystal004]], and thanks again for picking up the review, @[[User:Cat's Tuxedo|Cat's Tuxedo]]! Good has been done here. The torch has been passed around quite a lot! [[User:Panini!|<span style="color:#F40">Panini!</span>]] <span style="color:#F40">•</span> [[User talk:Panini!|🥪]] 23:49, 15 July 2022 (UTC)