Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2005/Cabal: Difference between revisions

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This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Welcome to the official headquarters of Wikipedia's cabal! We are a group of sysops and bureaucrats and developers. We are commanded into action by our good friend, Jimbo Wales! We, the undersigned agree to :D

Reject as many requests for adminship as possible.
Keep n00bs under control by telling them ridiculous lies about our respect for humanity.
Scare anybody we want into submission by blocking whiners.
Spend the donations from fundraising drives on gold-plated 70-foot yachts, French wines and bottled water, and business jets for the Board of Trustees members. We also give these things to Willy on Wheels
Look down on everybody else.
Encourage systematic bias throughout Wikimedia.
Continue to develop our secret anti-copyleft policies.
Trim our hair in accordance with the elitist lifestyle.
Delete anything, anytime.
Propagate the total worship of Jimbo.
Indiscriminately accuse harmless users of vandalism.
Use the mailing lists and Internet Relay Chat to denounce "trolls".
Loudly and repeatedly deny the very existence of our aims or the existence of this page.

Members

1. John "Sockpuppet" Doe

2. Neutrality^talk 03:45, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

3. Goobergunch|? (zee non-sysop spy!) 05:06, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

π. Meelar (talk) 10:04, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

4. Scott Gall 05:24, 2005 Apr 1 (UTC)

5. Radiant! (talk) 05:28, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

6. I27.O.O.l 06:49, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) (Do you have to be logged in to join?)

7. please note that real members of the cabal identify each other by forehead tattoos in a color that only the initiated can see. These ~~tasty meatsnacks~~ users only THINK they're in the cabal. Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.

7. ~~User:Jimbo Wales~~ Node 18:08, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

8. Comrade Nick @)---^-- 07:56, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

9. Goose 09:52, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) New member of the cabalists

0-0. There is no cabal, that is all.

42 Arthur Dent

b3ta teh quo

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 <!-- JOKE --><!-- JOKE --><!-- JOKE --><!-- JOKE --><!-- JOKE --><!-- JOKE -->
+{{humor}}
 [[Image:Villainc.svg|thumbnail|right|250px|A Cabalist in typical attire.]]
-'''Welcome''' to the official headquarters of [[Everything2|Wikipedia]]'s [[anarchy|cabal]]!  We are a group of [[gnome|sysops]] and [[exploding whale|bureaucrats]] and [[monarch|developers]].  We are commanded into action by our [[Dark Lord|good friend]], [[Emperor Norton|Jimbo Wales]]!  We, the undersigned agree to:
+'''Welcome''' to the official headquarters of [[Everything2|Wikipedia]]'s [[anarchy|cabal]]!  We are a group of [[gnome|sysops]] and [[exploding whale|bureaucrats]] and [[monarch|developers]].  We are commanded into action by our [[Dark Lord|good friend]], [[Emperor Norton|Jimbo Wales]]!  We, the undersigned agree to :D
 *''Reject as many [[WP:RFA|requests for adminship]] as possible.''
 *''Keep [[Elitism|n00bs]] under control by telling them ridiculous lies about our respect for humanity.''
 *''Scare [[hoi polloi|anybody we want]] into submission by [[Special:Allpages/List_of|blocking]] whiners.''
-*''Spend the [[credit card|donation]]s from fundraising drives on [[tin|gold]]-plated 70-foot yachts, [[Original Spanish Kitchen|French]] [[beer|wine]]s and bottled [[salt|water]], and [[Boeing 747|business jets]] for the Board of Trustees members.''
+*''Spend the [[credit card|donation]]s from fundraising drives on [[tin|gold]]-plated 70-foot yachts, [[Original Spanish Kitchen|French]] [[beer|wine]]s and bottled [[salt|water]], and [[Boeing 747|business jets]] for the Board of Trustees members. We also give these things to [[Red Cross|Willy on Wheels]]''
 *''[[Respect|Look down on]] everybody else.''
 *''Encourage [[NPOV|systematic bias]] throughout [[Slashdot|Wikimedia]].''
@@ Line 27: / Line 29: @@
 :7. ''please note that real members of the cabal identify each other by [[666|forehead tattoos]] in a color that only the initiated can see. These <s>tasty meatsnacks</s> users only THINK they're in the cabal. Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.''
 :7. <s>[[User:Jimbo Wales]]</s> [[User:Node ue|Node]] 18:08, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)
-:8. [[User:Plato|Comrade Nick]] [[User talk: plato|</small><font color=red><small>@</small></font><font color=green>)---^--</font>]] 07:56, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)
+:8. [[User:Plato|Comrade Nick]] [[User talk: plato|</small><span style="color:red;"><small>@</small></span><span style="color:green;">)---^--</span>]] 07:56, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)
 :9. [[User:Gus|Goose]] 09:52, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) New member of the cabalists
 :0-0. There is no cabal, that is all.
@@ Line 33: / Line 35: @@
 :[[b3ta]] [[teh quo]]
-[[Category:Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense]]
+[[Category:Wikipedia April Fools' Day 2005|Cabal]]
 [[fr:Wikipédia:Cabale]]