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Johannes a Leydis or Jan Gerbrandszoon van Leiden was a Dutch chronicler from the 15th century. A Leydis died in 1504.

Life

Not much is known with certainty about Johannes a Leydis' life. In all likelihood he came from a family of poorters (a special type of citizenship) from Leiden. He entered the carmelite monastery in Haarlem before 1455. In 1476 he was named prior of the monastery, but in 1479 we find him as prior of the monastery at Woudsend in Friesland. It seems that, during the struggles between the Vetkopers and Schieringers, discipline had become lax in the monastery. A Leydis attempted to reform the monastery, but apparently encountered so much resistance to his reforms that he was forced to leave in 1480. From sources we know that A Leydis was back in the monastery in Haarlem in 1495, filling the function of subprior. A Leydis died in 1504 in Haarlem.

During the Hook and Cod wars, A Leydis supported the Hook faction. His sympathies lay in particular with the family van Brederode and the Egmond Abbey.

Historical work

Johannes a Leydis is mostly known as a historian. He wrote the following works:

Chronicon comitum Hollandiae et episcoporum Ultraiectensium, a chronicle of the counts of Holland and the bishops of Utrecht. The first edition of the work is known only from manuscripts and was written between 1467 and 1469. The second edition, begun between 1485 and 1494, was printed in 1620 in Frankfurt by Franciscus Sweertius.
Opusculum de gestis regalium abbatum monasterii sancti Athalberti ordinis sancti Benedicti in Egmonda, a chronicle of the abbots of Egmond. Written between 1477 and 1484, commissioned by abt Nicolaus van Adrichem. Published by Antonius Matthaeus III.
Cronica illustrium dominorum de Brederueden, a chronicle of the lords of Brederode. Written between 1483 and 1486. There is also a middle Dutch version of this chronicle. The relation between the two versions is unclear.

The work of Johannes a Leydis was well known in the first half of the 16th century, and was used as a source by early humanist historians like Cornelius Aurelius and Reinier Snoy. Later on, the tendency of A Leydis to include fantastic stories in his work was criticised, with the harshest criticism coming from Janus Dousa.

Secondary literature and other sources

Romein, J.M. (1932) Geschiedenis van de Noord-Nederlandsche geschiedschrĳving in de Middeleeuwen. Bĳdrage tot de beschavingsgeschiedenis, Tjeenk Willink (Haarlem)
Roefs, V.J.G. (1942) De Egmondsche abtenkroniek van Iohannes a Leydis O.Carm., Alberts (Sittard). Contains a good biography on A Leydis, as well as a version of the Egmond Abbey chronicle.
Alberts, W.J., Rutgers, C.A. (1957) Johannes a Leydis. Cronica illustrium dominorum de Brederueden (Fontes minores medii aevi 5-6), Wolters (Groningen). A version of the chronicle of the lords of Brederode
Ebels-Hoving, B. (1985) ‘Johannes a Leydis en de eerste humanistische geschiedschrijving van Holland’, in: Bijdragen en mededelingen betreffende de geschiedenis der Nederlanden 100, 26-51
Narrative Sources database

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+'''Johannes a Leydis''' or '''Jan Gerbrandszoon van Leiden''' was a [[Dutch people|Dutch]] [[chronicler]] from the 15th century. A Leydis died in 1504.
-'''Johannes a (for anus) Leydis''' or '''Reddot''' was a giant vagina from the 15th century. A Leydis died in 1504. Hes actually German nazi and smokes weed and shit. The Shit smoking caused serious health problems in later life. By this we mean literal shit, like, from a butt. His, assosiate, known as 'Tro' was known to have an enourmous penis, bigger than any building, including the Burj Dubai. At one point, a smokin' hot chick walked by, causing 'tro' to have an erection, the resulting devastation is thought to be responsible for causing widespread flooding over much of western europe. Red loved it.
+==Life==
-Almost as much as he loved to fuck goats. In his more opulent years, Reddot would require a fresh goat be at his bedside every morning.
+Not much is known with certainty about Johannes a Leydis' life. In all likelihood he came from a family of [[poorter]]s (a special type of citizenship) from [[Leiden]]. He entered the [[carmelite]] [[monastery]] in [[Haarlem]] before 1455. In 1476 he was named [[Prior (ecclesiastical)|prior]] of the monastery, but in 1479 we find him as prior of the monastery at [[Woudsend]] in [[Friesland]]. It seems that, during the struggles between the [[Vetkopers and Schieringers]], discipline had become lax in the monastery. A Leydis attempted to reform the monastery, but apparently encountered so much resistance to his reforms that he was forced to leave in 1480. From sources we know that A Leydis was back in the monastery in Haarlem in 1495, filling the function of subprior. A Leydis died in 1504 in Haarlem.
+During the [[Hook and Cod wars]], A Leydis supported the Hook faction. His sympathies lay in particular with the family [[van Brederode]] and the [[Egmond Abbey]].
-Red is also a known gigolo for Angela Merkel, Margaret Thatcher And queen Elizabeth I, that's right, he's a necrophile. But Angela, Margaret and Elizabeth are actually shemales. Causing extreme gayness to develop within reddot's mind. The gayness then spread to his lungs, where that and the combination of shit-smoking caused his death at age 29.
+==Historical work==
-Later resurected by filling his corpse with semen, taken from jars kept around his home, he proceded to rape small animals, every day. He continued to rape them even after they died, in fact, this was his aim. Once the animal corpse had sufficiently decomposed, and was to be filled with his own, jar stored semen, animating it to do his bidding. This was always to endure further anal rape. Eventually, when the corpse reached critical semen mass, Reddot would consume it. He calls it delicious, and the source of his powers.
+Johannes a Leydis is mostly known as a historian. He wrote the following works:
+*''Chronicon comitum Hollandiae et episcoporum Ultraiectensium'', a chronicle of the [[Count of Holland|counts of Holland]] and the [[Prince-Bishopric of Utrecht|bishops of Utrecht]]. The first edition of the work is known only from manuscripts and was written between 1467 and 1469. The second edition, begun between 1485 and 1494, was printed in 1620 in [[Frankfurt am Main|Frankfurt]] by Franciscus Sweertius.
-His powers include shitting dicknipples, and a vagina that can stretch to several miles in diameter. Not so much a power, as an inevitable consequence of taking it from several million frenchmen.
+*''Opusculum de gestis regalium abbatum monasterii sancti Athalberti ordinis sancti Benedicti in Egmonda'', a chronicle of the abbots of Egmond. Written between 1477 and 1484, commissioned by abt Nicolaus van Adrichem. Published by [[Antonius Matthaeus III]].
+*''Cronica illustrium dominorum de Brederueden'', a chronicle of the lords of Brederode. Written between 1483 and 1486. There is also a [[middle Dutch]] version of this chronicle. The relation between the two versions is unclear.
+The work of Johannes a Leydis was well known in the first half of the 16th century, and was used as a source by early humanist historians like [[Cornelius Aurelius]] and [[Reinier Snoy]]. Later on, the tendency of A Leydis to include fantastic stories in his work was criticised, with the harshest criticism coming from [[Janus Dousa]].
-Red and Ash like logrotating their buttholes.
-Tar is fat however, and likes to use actual sex toys as a result of the fat.
-After resorting to lesbanism in her late teens, as no penis could get deep enough, as her vaginal opening was too wide and deep.
-Tar now enjoys putting her arm, up the the elbow - into ashiri's mother's vagina, nightly.
+== Secondary literature and other sources ==
- Ashiri was known to be his butt monkey, taking it in the ear canal several times a day.
+*Romein, J.M. (1932) ''Geschiedenis van de Noord-Nederlandsche geschiedschrĳving in de Middeleeuwen. Bĳdrage tot de beschavingsgeschiedenis'', Tjeenk Willink (Haarlem)
+*Roefs, V.J.G. (1942) ''De Egmondsche abtenkroniek van Iohannes a Leydis O.Carm.'', Alberts (Sittard). Contains a good biography on A Leydis, as well as a version of the Egmond Abbey chronicle.
-Not much is known about his life, but in all likelyhood he came all over young prostitutes from a family of [[poorters]] (a type of prostitution) from [[Leiden]], an act which earned him much notoriety.
+*Alberts, W.J., Rutgers, C.A. (1957) ''Johannes a Leydis. Cronica illustrium dominorum de Brederueden (Fontes minores medii aevi 5-6)'', Wolters (Groningen). A version of the chronicle of the lords of Brederode
+*Ebels-Hoving, B. (1985) ‘Johannes a Leydis en de eerste humanistische geschiedschrijving van Holland’, in: ''[[BMGN|Bijdragen en mededelingen betreffende de geschiedenis der Nederlanden]]'' 100, 26-51
-Before 1455 he was a member of the gestapo in [[Haarlem]]. In 1476 he became prior of the bordello, and in 1479 young men, he deposited his seed. The mutant offspring of these unholy unions went on to found some of the families that currently control the world, warping it to fit their own, disgusting pleasures. This directly led to the invention of reality TV.
+*[http://www.narrative-sources.be Narrative Sources database]
-Apparently, during the struggles of the [[Fatties and Schieringers]], the discipline of the monastery was changed, to include fellatio as it's major art. A Leydis attempted to include anal it, but encountered so much semen that he was forced to leave choking and struggling to breathe.
+{{Authority control}}
-Sources tell us that A Leydis was present in a whorehouse in Haarlem in 1495, with the function of chief cock-muncher. Johannes a Leydis died in 1504 in Haarlem while attempting to deep-throat a horse. The investigators found more horse semen in his stomach then had ever previously been encountered.
+{{DEFAULTSORT:Leydis, Johannes A}}
+[[Category:1504 deaths]]
-During the [[Hooker and Codpiece wars]], Johannes supported the Hooker faction. His sympathies in particular lay with the [[van Brederode]] family and the [[Egmond Abbey]]. He even contributed to their jars of semen.
+[[Category:Burgundian Netherlands historians]]
+[[Category:People from Leiden]]
-Later, years after his death, many mason jars filled with his semen where located buried in his former gardens.
+[[Category:Carmelites]]
+[[Category:Year of birth unknown]]
-==Historical Work==
+[[Category:Historians from the Habsburg Netherlands]]
-Johannes a Leydis is mainly known as one of the first rent boys. He wrote the following works:
-*Chronicon comitum Hollandiae et episcoporum Ultraiectensium, a chronicle of the sex acts commonly practised in holland at the time, and the [[Bishopric of Utrecht|Bishops of Utrecht]].

Authority control databases
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