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Hi.
:::::<big>Capitalization can go to Hell</big>
[[File:The cardinal points are not news.png|center]]



<div style="text-align:center"><big>{{age in days|2013|3|13}} days of pontificate</big></div>
__NOTOC__
==400==
Pope Francis holds general audience for ninth time.
:'''Unity and communion? Why not union and community?
==399==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=556296031&oldid=556167557 Pope Francis says culture of encounter is the foundation of peace.]
:'''That's what <u>I</u> was gonna say.
==398==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=556167557&oldid=556165149 Holy-see spokesman Federico Lombardi says Pope Francis hasn't performed exorcism.]
:'''The power of Christ compels you!

:'''Now to react to that statement from the Vatican.
==397==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=556165149&oldid=556139670 Pope Francis says true power is in serving others.]
:'''Or is it serving others that's in true power?

:'''No. That makes even less sense.
==396==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=556139670&oldid=556004728 Pope Francis sends telegram to Oklahoma City archbishop Paul Stagg Coakley after tornado.]
:'''The name of the bishop of <u>Oklahoma</u> is <u>Coakley</u>? <u>Okay</u>.

:'''Boy. This one was pretty weak.
==395==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=556004728&oldid=555945435 Pope Francis admits to falling asleep during prayers after long day, says he thinks God understands.]
:'''Wow. I'm almost as surprised as I was that time I heard the first-ever statue of his holiness had been unveiled in Naples, ten minutes ago.
==394==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555945435&oldid=555830379 Pope Francis unveils new mobile app.]
:'''That's right. It's Pope Cam! See through the eyes of the bishop of Rome. Holy mass. Secret books... and what's this? <u>Two</u> bathrooms?
==393==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555830379&oldid=555827662 Pope Francis sends forty-fifth tweet.]
:'''The holy spirit transforms and renews us? Who does it think it is? Extreme Makeover?

:'''Damn it! I already used Extreme Makeover once this week. Guess I need some new material. Guess I need to change my «repertoire». Guess I need to give my «repertoire»... an extreme makeover.

:'''Fudge!
==392==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555827662&oldid=555707127 Pope Francis recites «regina coeli» for last time this year.]
:'''You know how much I've spent on ink for this page? Seven thousand cents, which is also what my ballpoint Pentecost.
==391==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555707127&oldid=555705619 Pope Francis sends forty-fourth tweet.]
:'''We must learn from Mary? But Mary's a woman. I'd much rather learn from Mario, by which I mean Pope Francis. Let's see what he has to say.

:'''We must imitate Mary's unconditional readiness to receive Christ in her life? Since receive is the opposite of give and giving life is synonymous with giving birth, I take it Mary was unconditionally ready <u>not</u> to give birth to Jesus, though that makes no sense whatsoever.
==390==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555705619&oldid=555650253 Pope Francis holds audience with German chancellor Angela Merkel.]
:'''Pope Benedict left not eighty days ago and already Merkel is smiling at Franciscum.

:'''What the hell kind of picture is that, Vatican Radio? Do political figures not pose for photos any more?
==389==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555650253&oldid=555582375 Pope Francis names Oporto bishop Manuel Clemente new patriarch of Lisbon.]
:'''The rise of Pope Clement XV. This man will rule the western world, and he will not be merciful.

:'''Why in God's name did I say that? All we're talking about is an episcopal suck session.
==388==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555582375&oldid=555499566 Pope Francis holds audience with national directors of pontifical mission societies.]
:'''The national directors of the <u>p</u>ontifical <u>m</u>ission <u>s</u>ocieties. That sounds cool. Every word of it. Even the preposition of.
==387==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555499566&oldid=555424323 Pope Francis sends forty-third tweet.]
:'''Are our lives truly filled with the presence of God? Mine must be. I'm reading the pope's writings when I could be watching pornocracy.

:'''What do you mean «pornography»? Have I been saying it wrong this whole time?
==386==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555424323&oldid=555385109 Pope Francis sends Milan archbishop Angelo Scola greeting message for visit of ecumenical patriarch Bartholomew I.]
:'''Someone needs to tell bishops about instant messaging.
==385==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555385109&oldid=555281112 Pope Francis sends forty-second tweet.]
:'''We cannot be part-time christians? Well, then, can we at least be part-time teachers?

:'''Hold on a second. I think I made this joke yesterday.
==384==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555281112&oldid=555203240 Pope Francis holds general audience for eighth time.]
:'''We're not supposed to be part-time christians? Can we at least be part-time contractors?
==383==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555203240&oldid=555114211 Pope Francis sends forty-first tweet.]
:'''It's God who gives life? Makes sense. God's a he. The shes merely <u>receive</u> life.
==382==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555114211&oldid=555065437 Austrian cardinal Christoph Schönborn says Pope Francis was elected because of supernatural signs.]
:'''He's saying real signs of the lord gave him indication Bergoglio was the one? So he's saying he voted for Bergoglio? He's breaking his vows? And one of the signs was that a woman whispered the word Bergoglio in his ear? Holy hell!

:'''Wait. He's also saying Pope Francis looks like the new archbishop of Canterbury. That makes up for these bizarre revelations.

:'''Wait. No it doesn't. It makes things worse!
==381==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=555065437&oldid=554963374 Pope Francis says Satan tricks people into being selfish.]
:'''What was he expecting from the dark jedi of the milky way?
==380==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554963374&oldid=554961980 Lisbon patriarch José Policarpo asks our lady of Fátima to help Pope Francis renew church.]
:'''There's no use. What Pope Francis needs is for me to get him on the Extreme Makeover home edition.
==379==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554961980&oldid=554958400 Pope Francis presented with new «annuario pontificio».]
:'''It'll be on sale soon? I hope V.L.C. can also read books.
==378==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554958400&oldid=554954218 Pope Francis holds audience with Colombian president Juan Manuel Santos.]
:'''Juan Manuel Santos? That's an anagram for autumn loans jeans.

:'''The presider was wearing dress pants. Maybe that's because spring <u>borrows</u> jeans.
==377==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554954218&oldid=554854772 Pope Francis sends fortieth tweet.]
:'''The pontifical king is asking me if he's faithful to Christ in his daily life? The pontifical king is putting quotation marks around the word show in the phrase show my faith? These are dark times.
==376==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554854772&oldid=554789493 Pope Francis accepts resignation of Szczecin-Kamień auxiliary bishop Marian Błażej Kruszyłowicz.]
:'''There's no fucking pope news anywhere. I'm sorry.
==375==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554789493&oldid=554757725 Pope John Paul II impersonator arrested in Rome.]
:'''Wow. What a resemblance. I hereby declare that Slovakia is the new Poland.

:'''Calm down, K.J.. There's no need to invade.
==374==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554757725&oldid=554736617 Pope Francis sends thirty-ninth tweet.]
:'''The many christians in the world who still suffer persecution and violence? You mean like Mel Gibson?

:'''World Communications Day? Isn't that what they call a W.M.D.? Or is that World <u>Munitions</u> Day?
==373==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554736617&oldid=554610324 Pope Francis proclaims new saints for first time.]
:'''Colombians can be canonized too? Christopher Columbus has his fingers crossed.

:'''Actually, he doesn't. I'm now being told he didn't get to America by boat. He got to America by cannon.
==372==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554610324&oldid=554528684 Pope Francis pays surprise visit to hospitalized cardinal Javier Lozano Barragán.]
:'''Someone's here for you, your eminence. I think it's the holy father. You're gonna be alright.
==371==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554528684&oldid=554433313 Pope Francis sends thirty-eighth tweet.]
:'''Seeing others always as brothers and sisters in Jesus? Shouldn't that be <u>of</u> Jesus? Oh, lord. Even the pope is slacking off.

:'''The Roman pontiff is an epic man, so this was an epic fail.
==370==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554433313&oldid=554349760 Pope Francis holds audience with Pope Tawadros II of Alexandria.]
:'''The last time the coptic pope met with the actual pope was in May nineteen seventy-three? But now it's May twenty thirteen. That means... That means they haven't met for forty years. Oh, miGod!
==369==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554349760&oldid=554345395 Lisbon patriarch José Policarpo to consecrate Pope Francis's pontificate in Portuguese parish of Fátima on May thirteenth.]
:'''When the wizard of wizards will be two months in. Sounds most appropriate. <s>But I do have one question. Why is the Lisbon patriot so special?</s>

:'''«Blühe, portugiesisches Vaterland!»
==368==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554345395&oldid=554206102 Pope Francis sends thirty-seventh tweet.]
:'''The holy spirit brings to our hearts profound trust in God's love and mercy? How? How exactly does it do that? Is it some kind of paranormal activity?
==367==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554206102&oldid=554205071 Pope Francis holds general audience for seventh time.]
:'''God loves us as a father? The pope loves us as a <u>holy</u> father. You tell <u>me</u> whose love you prefer.
==366==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554205071&oldid=554086655 Pope Francis sends thirty-sixth tweet.]
:'''True wealth is not found in material things? No kidding. Bank accounts are virtual.
==365==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=554086655&oldid=553955936 Pope Francis names Irish reverend Denis Nulty bishop of Kildare and Leighlin.]
:'''Irish? He must be some kind of drunkard.
==364==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553955936&oldid=553856015 Pope Francis sends thirty-fifth tweet.]
:'''The path of holiness? What's that? The latest movie about the pontifex Maxim?
==363==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553856015&oldid=553770958 Pope Francis holds audience with Swiss president Ueli Maurer.]
:'''Ah. Yes. Switzerland, the only country in the world to have a square flag besides Vatican City. I bet the two heads of state talked about this coincidence during their meeting, and about how they both like the color red, and about how they both like crosses.
==362==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553770958&oldid=553681040 Pope Francis sends thirty-fourth tweet.]
:'''Ask our lord to help us bear shining witness to his mercy and his love? And if he consents? Should we ask him to help us bear shining witness to that too?
==361==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553681040&oldid=553624768 Pope Francis encourages protection of children from abuse.]
:'''That's not news. That's just basically everything popes do nowadays. You wanna hear something that <u>is</u> news? Then listen to this.

:'''The first <u>canonical</u> pope to resign, Pope Celestine V, was <u>canonized</u> exactly seven hundred years ago.
==360==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553624768&oldid=553533672 Pope Francis sends thirty-third tweet.]
:'''Every christian is a mercenary? Speak for yourself... merciful lord.

:'''Oops. I misread the holy words. The pope wrote <u>missionary</u>.
==359==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553533672&oldid=553467702 Pope Francis recites rosary in basilica of Saint Mary major.]
:'''I don't suppose the place was <u>filled</u> with rosemary.
==358==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553467702&oldid=553466387 Pope Francis holds audience with Lebanese president Michel Suleiman.]
:'''The pope met with King Solomon? The twenty-first century just doesn't stop surprising me.

:'''I'm now being told it was actually <u>President</u> Suleiman. There must've been a problem with the translation.
==357==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553466387&oldid=553336796 Pope Francis sends thirty-second tweet.]
:'''Ask our lady to teach us how to make more room for the lord? Wouldn't it be better to ask the lord to teach us how to make more room for <u>his</u> lady? That strikes me as the most polite thing to do.
==356==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553336796&oldid=553261058 Pope Francis sends thirty-first tweet.]
:'''It would be a good idea for families to say the rosary together? Well, then, let's find out how many families you can fit in a church.
==355==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553261058&oldid=553259168 Pope Francis prays at tomb of Saint Francis via webcam.]
:'''<s>Black arts! Dark magic!</s> He was there but he wasn't there? Seems plausible.
==354==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553259168&oldid=553187463 Pope Francis welcomes predecessor Benedict XVI to new home.]
:'''Pope Benedict will live with four women and two Georgs? Isn't that just&mdash; Wait a second. Four women?
==353==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553187463&oldid=553110677 Pope Francis sends thirtieth tweet.]
:'''Those who are unemployed get to stay home and read your Twitter page, holiness.

:'''The new look looks very good-looking. It's almost as if Pope Francis is saying «I'm watching you».
==352==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553110677&oldid=553109865 Pope John Paul II was beatified two years ago.]
:'''Pope Benedict beatified him by looking at the clouds and saying «beat it already», «now it's <u>my</u> turn».
==351==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553109865&oldid=553046355 Pope Francis holds general audience for sixth time.]
:'''An appeal against slave labor? That's funny.

:'''How much money does the bishop of Rome make a year? I bet it's the same as what he makes a month.
==350==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=553046355&oldid=552946951 Pope Francis sends twenty-ninth tweet.]
:'''Saint Joseph knew how to overcome adversity? He fathered a child without having had sex.
==349==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552946951&oldid=552911710 Pope Francis holds audience with Israeli president Shimon Peres.]
:'''How appropriate. The president of jews and the president of catholics.
==348==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552911710&oldid=552789898 Pope Francis sends twenty-eighth tweet.]
:'''Our trust in God's power? Gosh almighty!
==347==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552789898&oldid=552787964 Pope emeritus Benedict XVI to return to Vatican on Thursday.]
:'''He's gonna stay in the Vatican's attic, also known by the Latin name «Vattic».
==346==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552787964&oldid=552713531 Pope Francis calls shame a virtue that helps prepare us for God's forgiveness.]
:'''Shame on you, holy pope, for you are a man of virtue.
==345==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552713531&oldid=552620368 Pope Francis sends twenty-seventh tweet.]
:'''If at the end of the day each of us could say we had performed an act of charity towards others, everyone would have lost but not everyone would have gained, and we would have contributed to the inequality in the world.
==344==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552620368&oldid=552607168 Pope Francis confirms forty-four.]
:'''Ranging in age from eleven to fifty-five? This must be some kind of conspiracy.

:'''44 + 11 = 55. Obama is the forty-fourth president of the united states, and today the eleventh president of Italy swore in the fifty-fifth prime minister.
==343==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552607168&oldid=552549354 Pope emeritus Benedict XVI resigned two months ago.]
:'''I know what a tomb is, but what are unts?
==342==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552549354&oldid=552496066 Pope Francis sends twenty-sixth tweet.]
:'''The holy spirit wants to transform the world we live in? Holy spit!

:'''I'm saying holy spit because I just spat out my milk.
==341==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552496066&oldid=552450420 Pope Francis invites christians to proclaim Jesus with joy.]
:'''Wouldn't it make more sense to proclaim <u>joy with Jesus</u>? Isn't that what Saint Peter did?
==340==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552450420&oldid=552339269 Pope Francis holds audience with resigning Italian prime minister Mario Monti.]
:'''Monti was born exactly seventy years before pope Francis was inaugurated? His father was an Argentine of Italian ancestry? His first name is Mario? He and pope Francis seem to have a lot in common. I think I know who the new secretary of state should be.
==339==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552339269&oldid=552256116 Pope Francis sends twenty-fourth tweet.]
:'''I shouldn't be afraid to dream of great things? You mean I <u>can</u> become vicar of Christ one day?
==338==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552256116&oldid=552175490 Pope Francis holds audience with Argentine soccer player Javier Zanetti.]
:'''Two Argentines who moved to Italy? Zanetti may be a full back, but there's no way he was on the defensive this time.
==337==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552175490&oldid=552172639 Pope Francis to visit Assisi this year.]
:'''His holiness is going to Assisi? Who's going to assist him?
==336==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552172639&oldid=552124000 Pope Francis says Christians mustn't be like soldiers.]
:'''Not even a soldier who's Christian?

:'''Okay. That was taken out of context.
==335==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552124000&oldid=552024099 Pope Francis sends twenty-third tweet.]
:'''It's important to be open and attentive towards others? That's the very reason I'm an unregistered Twitter follower of the tyrannosaurus pontifex.

:'''[[User:The cardinal points are not news/green minus blue|No. I didn't just call the pope a dinosaur.]]
==334==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=552024099&oldid=551945521 Pope Francis holds general audience for fifth time.]
:'''The church is in a love story? That's preposterous.

:'''Shush, church, and let our lips touch.
==333==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551945521&oldid=551857376 Pope Francis sends twenty-second tweet.]
:'''Make sure we do not forget God? I'll try to remember to do that.

:'''I just got a text from Google saying pope John Paul II could become a saint in October. How cool is that? I don't recall signing up for a mobile news feed.
==332==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551857376&oldid=551804509 Pope Francis calls for release of Syrian orthodox bishops.]
:'''President Bishop al-Assad needs to set them free right now. It's already been like... one day.

:'''It's funny because the word bishop is also a surname.
==331==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551804509&oldid=551797874 Pope emeritus Benedict XVI relieved he's no longer pontiff according to brother Georg Ratzinger.]
:'''When pope Francis met with pope Benedict, he said the two of them were brothers, but his name isn't Georg. It's Jorge.

:'''I've just seen a photo of the two Ratzingers wearing sun glasses, not <u>sung</u> lasses, and, if it weren't for their clothes, it would be hard to tell who's <s>who.</s> whom. I can only imagine how many catholics have tried to give money to the holy brother.
==330==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551797874&oldid=551696402 Pope Francis sends twenty-first tweet.]
:'''Mary is the one who says yes? That's not <u>my</u> experience.
==329==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551696402&oldid=551626907 Pope Francis sends twentieth tweet.]
:'''Each one of us longs for life? Then the dead must long for death.
==328==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551622020&oldid=551479812 Pope Francis says there's no room for climbers or commercial religion in kingdom of God.]
:'''I thought heaven was infinitely large.
==327==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551479812&oldid=551471378 Pope Francis ordains ten priests on fiftieth world day of prayer for vocations.]
:'''What's the apostolic shepherd trying to tell us? That there should be a new priest for every five <s>days that pass?</s> years that pass?

:'''As a reply to the previous entry, let me just say that, actually, the pope joke was in the <u>first</u> minute of the episode.
==326==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551471378&oldid=551457204 American cartoon «Family Guy» parodies papal switch.]
:'''Yeah. A week ago.

:'''Making a twenty-minute episode takes months. Did they add this bit at the last minute?
==325==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551457204&oldid=551449401 Pope Francis sends best wishes to re-elected Italian president Giorgio Napolitano.]
:'''They do have the same Christian name, or should I say... <u>Jesuit</u> name?
==324==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551449401&oldid=551448246 Santa Rosa bishop Mario Poli inaugurated as pope Francis's successor in Buenos Aires archdiocese.]
:'''That's what I call getting up on the Polium.
==323==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551448246&oldid=551339531 Pope Francis sends nineteenth tweet.]
:'''The voice of Jesus is unmistakable? Then why is he voiced by Alec Sulkin?
==322==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551339531&oldid=551309589 Former rector of pontifical Gregorian university Gianfranco Ghirlanda calls pope Francis profoundly Jesuit pope.]
:'''[[User:The cardinal points are not news/maternal infernal information|Figures. A professor using the word profound. Are you sure you don't wanna call pope Francis a <u>proficiently</u> Jesuit pope, sir? Are you sure you don't wanna call pope Francis a <u>profanely</u> Jesuit pope? A <u>profitably</u> Jesuit pope? A <u>prophetically</u> Jesuit pope? Go right ahead. I once called him pope Francus.]]
==321==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551309589&oldid=551201988 Pope Francis gives American model Ali Landry's baby bump hands-on blessing.]
:'''That good-looking husband of hers has obviously been doing the Landry.
==320==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551201988&oldid=551198113 Pope emeritus Benedict XVI was elected eight years ago.]
:'''Three days after turning seventy-eight. What a birthday present, however late it may be.
==319==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551198113&oldid=551120801 Pope Francis holds audience with Ecuadorian president Rafael Correa.]
:'''«What shall we talk about, your holiness?» The bishop of Rome formed the hand pyramid of evil contemplation. «The Roman Correa.»
==318==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551120801&oldid=551057667 Pope Francis cuts bonuses for holy-see employees.]
:'''The holy seers get extra money after the death of a pope and the election of a new one? Well, then it sure was nice of pope Benedict to resign.

:'''Two thousand dollars because of the papal switch? Over my dead body, minions.
==317==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551057667&oldid=551004112 Pope Francis may meet with Brazil soccer players on world youth day.]
:'''Who will the holy father root for during next year's Brazil world cup? Argentina or the Vatican? Probably Argentina, because the Vatican doesn't have a team.
==316==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=551004112&oldid=550997921 Pope Francis holds audience with Portuguese ambassador António Almeida Ribeiro.]
:'''The name of the late patriarch of Lisbon was António Ribeiro. What's going on here?
==315==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550997921&oldid=550841678 Pope Francis sends eighteenth tweet.]
:'''Come on. How am I supposed to joke about that?
==314==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550841678&oldid=550833190 Kampala auxiliary bishop Christopher Kakooza calls on parents to name babies after pope Francis.]
:'''The Portuguese word for pope is also the Portuguese word for porridge. Babies like porridge. Just name <u>your</u> babies Pope Francis. They won't even have to be baptized.
==313==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550833190&oldid=550797153 Pope Francis holds general audience for fourth time.]
:'''Jesus is the only and eternal priest? So that's why they call him Jesus Chriest.
==312==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550797153&oldid=550683194 Pope Francis sends sixteenth and seventeenth tweets.]
:'''If ascension does not equal absence, Sion does not equal be, and Jerusalem is non-existent.

:'''How do you enter into someone else's glory? The same way you get inside a truck, A.K.A. lorry?
==311==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550683194&oldid=550680510 Pope emeritus Benedict XVI turns eighty-six.]
:'''I bid you a happy Beneday, holiness. Live long and prosper.
==310==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550680510&oldid=550545582 Pope Francis calls second Vatican council beautiful work of holy spirit.]
:'''Vatican two was a gift for me and you.
==309==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550545582&oldid=550542520 Pope Francis re-affirms crackdown on leadership conference of women religious.]
:'''What the heaven kinda name is that? And how the heaven did these American nuns think they would be treated when they chose such a name?

:'''Sorry. I've been reading too much scripture.
==308==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550542520&oldid=550468174 Jerusalem Latin patriarch Fouad Twal calls pope Francis very humble man after audience.]
:'''Of course he's a very humble man. Isn't humble the adjective for the noun homily?
==307==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550468174&oldid=550466101 Pope Francis equals predecessor John Paul I in length of reign.]
:'''Google says that only tomorrow will it <s>rain in Rome.</s> <s>Rome in rain.</s> rain in Rome.
==306==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550466101&oldid=550332786 Pope Francis holds audience with Spanish prime minister Mariano Rajoy.]
:'''I trust they spoke Argentine.
==305==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550332786&oldid=550296024 Pope Francis celebrates mass in basilica of saint Paul outside the walls.]
:'''The archpriest's name is Harvey. The abbot's name is Power. What's not to celebrate?
==304==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550296024&oldid=550196982 Pope Francis sends fourteenth and fifteenth tweets.]
:'''I hadn't noticed this before, but I'm glad the pope himself doesn't capitalize pronouns referring to God, 'cuz I just hate Capitalization.
==303==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550196982&oldid=550187954 Pope Francis was elected a month ago.]
:'''Who knew thirteen plus thirty-one equaled thirteen? I always thought it equaled forty-four. <u>That</u> would be palindromic. (Thank God for Wikipedia. He sure has equipped us, or equipped <u>we</u>, with a wonderful tool, and I'm not talking about our penises and vaginas. We have been we<u>quip</u>ped. We have been wik<u>wip</u>ped.)
==302==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550187954&oldid=550141729 Pope Francis holds audience with president of U.N. economic and social council Néstor Osorio Londoño.]
:'''Londoño? But he's from Colombia? I guess hips <u>do</u> lie.
==301==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550141729&oldid=550141354 Pope Francis says God doesn't act like fairy with magic wand.]
:'''I didn't say he did. Who the hell are you? The inquisition? This is a witch hunt!
==Archive index==
*[[User:The cardinal points are not news/I|2012/10 - 2013/01]]
*[[User:The cardinal points are not news/II|2013/01 - 2013/03]]
*[[User:The cardinal points are not news/III|2013/03 - 2013/04]]
<small>[[User:The cardinal points are not news/but this is|Not a pope person?]]</small>

Latest revision as of 19:34, 12 May 2014

Hi.

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