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{{short description|Webcomic by Chris Onstad}}
{{redirects|Nice Pete|the comedian known as "Nice Peter"|Peter Shukoff}}
{{Multiple issues|
{{primary sources|date=April 2016}}
{{Fan POV|date=February 2024}}
{{Promotional tone|date=February 2024}}
}}
{{Infobox Webcomic <!-- Part of [[Wikipedia:WikiProject Webcomics]] -->
{{Infobox Webcomic <!-- Part of [[Wikipedia:WikiProject Webcomics]] -->
| title = Achewood
| title = Achewood
| image = [[image:Achewood.gif]]
| image = Achewood.png
| caption =
| caption =
| author = [[Chris Onstad]]
| author = Chris Onstad
| url = http://www.achewood.com
| url = {{URL|http://www.achewood.com/}}
| status = Active<ref>{{cite web | url=https://www.theverge.com/23713940/achewood-chris-onstad-return-patreon-ai-raybot | title=Achewood is back, and it's weirder than ever | date=8 May 2023 }}</ref>
| status = 3&ndash;4 times a week
| began = [[October 1]] [[2001]] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=10012001]
| began = October 1, 2001<ref name="firststrip"/>
| genre = [[Slice-of-life]], [[surreal humor]]
| ended =
| genre = [[Comedy]]
| ratings =
| ratings =
}}
}}
'''''Achewood''''' is a [[webcomic]] created by Chris Onstad in 2001. It portrays the lives of a group of [[anthropomorphism|anthropomorphic]] stuffed toys, robots, and pets. Many of the characters live together in the home of their owner, Chris, at the fictional address of 62 Achewood Court. The events of the strip mostly take place in and around the house, as well as around the town of Achewood, a fictional [[suburb]].


The comic's humor is usually [[absurdism|absurdist]], typically lacking a traditional [[Punch line|punchline]], and sometimes [[surreal humor|surreal]].<ref>{{cite web |url=http://mb.sparknotes.com/sparktalk.epl?t=307703 |title=SparkLife: SparkTalk |publisher=Sparknotes |date=27 June 2008 |access-date=2008-11-02 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080913043222/http://mb.sparknotes.com/sparktalk.epl?t=307703 |archive-date=13 September 2008 }}</ref> The strip features many characters with detailed backstories. Many ''Achewood'' strips contain some reference to food or drink because the author is a food and cooking enthusiast.<ref>{{Cite web |last=Norton |first=James |date=2007-04-10 |title=Chow down, dude |url=https://www.salon.com/2007/04/10/onstad_qa/ |access-date=2024-02-09 |website=Salon |language=en}}</ref>
'''''Achewood''''' is an online [[comic strip]] created by [[Chris Onstad]]. It portrays the lives of a group of [[Anthropomorphism|anthropomorphic]] stuffed toys, [[robots]], and pets. Many of the characters live together in the home of their owner, Chris, at 62 Achewood Court, a fictional address. The events of the strip mostly take place in and around the house, as well as around the town of Achewood, the fictional suburb which gives its name to the comic and is likely a thinly-veiled [[Palo Alto, California]]. Notably, the comic's humor is [[Surreal humour|surreal]] and generally lacks a [[punch line]]. It is celebrated by readers for its unpredictable humor, strong characterization and distinctively voiced dialogue.


Originally published regularly, the comic began to miss release dates in late 2010. In March 2011, Onstad announced that ''Achewood'' would be going on an indefinite hiatus.<ref name="hiatus">[http://chrisonstad.blogspot.com/2011/03/hiatus-explained-tenderly-and-with.html "Hiatus, Explained Tenderly and with a Great Gentleness"]. March 20, 2011. ''Chris Onstad's blog''.</ref> In November 2011, the comic returned, followed by an announcement in December that the hiatus was over. However, Onstad stated that no regular schedule will be in effect, and new strips have been released sporadically. Onstad indicated in 2013 that he had plans for pitching ''Achewood'' as an animated series.<ref>{{Cite news |last=Colter |first=Aaron |title=Achewood Webcomic May Become Animated TV Show |url=https://www.wired.com/2013/02/achewood-tv-show/ |access-date=2025-01-03 |work=Wired |language=en-US |issn=1059-1028}}</ref> No further news came from this, and the comic itself was not updated between April 7, 2014, and December 24, 2015. When the strip returned, it was updated most subsequent Fridays.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://comicsalliance.com/achewood-chris-onstad-returns-2016/ |title=Comics Alliance: Everyone Be Very Quiet: 'Achewood' Has Returned Three Weeks In A Row And We Don't Want To Scare It Off |date=2016-01-08 |access-date=2016-01-10 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160109175739/http://comicsalliance.com/achewood-chris-onstad-returns-2016/ |archive-date=2016-01-09 }}</ref> On December 25, 2016, Onstad announced that the strip would go on another hiatus.<ref name="hiatus16">{{cite web|last1=Sims|first1=Chris|title=Chris Onstad Walks Away From 'Achewood'|url=http://comicsalliance.com/chris-onstad-achewood-ending/|website=Comics Alliance|date=27 December 2016 |access-date=4 January 2017}}</ref> In 2023, Onstad resumed producing ''Achewood'', making it available via [[Patreon]].<ref>{{Cite web |last=Rivera |first=Joshua |date=2023-05-09 |title=Cult webcomic Achewood is back, and bringing AI with it |url=https://www.polygon.com/entertainment/23712969/achewood-2023-ai-chris-onstad |access-date=2024-02-09 |website=Polygon |language=en-US}}</ref><ref name=":0">{{Cite web |last=Lopatto |first=Elizabeth |date=2023-05-08 |title=Achewood is back, and it's weirder than ever |url=https://www.theverge.com/23713940/achewood-chris-onstad-return-patreon-ai-raybot |access-date=2024-02-09 |website=The Verge |language=en}}</ref>
==History and overview==
{{original research}}
The first ''Achewood'' strip ("[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=10012001 Philippe is standing on it]") was released on [[October 1]] [[2001]]. The strip sets the tone for the rest of the comic, with its nonsensical humor and surprising visual punchline. In this particular strip, [[#Cornelius Bear|Mr. Bear]] and [[#Téodor Orezscu|Téodor]] are discussing Téodor's confusion over a [[drum machine]]. Mr. Bear informs Téodor that there is an instruction manual. However, [[#Philippe|Philippe]] is standing on it.


==History==
Throughout the rest of the comic, there is no distinguishable underlying storyline — aside, perhaps, for the general passing of time and development of the comic's characters and their interrelationships. Onstad's preferred method of story-telling is to develop his characters through one-off strips and short story arcs. Strips are humorous, relying upon inane and chaotic humor as well as social stereotypes, occasional burlesque literary and historical references, and strong characterization of the comic's many quirky individuals. As the humor often depends on an in-depth knowledge of the characters and their interactions, new readers may appreciate the series more if they start their reading earlier on in the series and progress chronologically from there.
The first ''Achewood'' strip was released on October 1, 2001.<ref name="firststrip">{{Cite web |date=2001-10-01 |title=Philippe is standing on it |url=https://achewood.com/2001/10/01/title.html |access-date=2024-02-09 |website=achewood.com |language=en}}</ref> The location and the comic were named after an ingredient supposedly used by slaves during the United States's [[Antebellum South|antebellum era]] that would induce melancholia in the drinker, according to the comic's website.<ref>{{cite web |title=Achewood – Moonshine Neuroretarder |url=http://achewood.com/about.php |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20081104041412/http://achewood.com/about.php |archive-date=4 November 2008 |access-date=2008-11-02 |publisher=Achewood.com}}</ref>


Throughout ''Achewood'', there is no distinguishable underlying storyline, only the general passing of time and development of the comic's characters and their interrelationships. The characters are mainly developed through one-off strips and short story arcs. There were 46 story arcs from 2002 to 2010. These story arcs are often interrupted with cutaways to the activity of other ''Achewood'' characters, which may or may not tie in with the main storyline of the arc. The pages often rely upon strange humor as well as stereotypes, literary and historical references, and an in-depth knowledge of the characters and their interactions.
Chris Onstad has self-published [[#Bibliography|thirteen books]]: seven collections of Achewood comics, two books by Nice Pete ("A Wonderful Tale" and "A Hilarious Comedy"), three 'zines by Roast Beef, and an Achewood cookbook with recipes from several of the main characters.


Most strips include an [[alt text]], a one-sentence aside written in Onstad's voice that appears when the reader hovers the cursor over the strip. The first alt-text was the word ''snif'' on Christmas, 2001. The first of the regular full-sentence alt-text appeared on January 2, 2002, apparently excusing a weak strip: "whatever. it was late and a friend was over."
In the fall of 2002 ''Achewood'' 's "Sunday Edition" became part of the online [[alternative comics]] anthology [[Serializer]]. In their review of serializer.net, [[The Comics Journal]] wrote: "It's a pleasure to see strips like Achewood's "Sunday" strip ... use the newspaper format for far more daring, entertainingly perverse work ... would be perfectly at home at a good alternative weekly or a great college paper."


In October 2002, ''Achewood''{{'s}} "Sunday Edition" became part of the online [[alternative comics]] anthology [[Serializer]].{{Citation needed|date=February 2024}} In their review of serializer.net, ''[[The Comics Journal]]'' wrote: "It's a pleasure to see strips like Achewood's 'Sunday' strip&nbsp;... use the newspaper format for far more daring, entertainingly perverse work&nbsp;... would be perfectly at home at a good alternative weekly or a great college paper."{{Citation needed|date=February 2024}} ''Achewood'' is sometimes featured in the ''[[Stanford Chaparral|Chaparral]]'', [[Stanford University]]'s humor publication, of which Onstad is a retired editor.{{Citation needed|date=February 2024}}
On [[April 30]] [[2003]], Onstad introduced a new feature to the ''Achewood'' universe — an advice column written by the character [[#Ray Smuckles|Ray]] called ''Ray's Place''. This column has served to further develop the Achewood canon by allowing prose related to the characters to be written. The column has developed characters, mainly as perceived by Ray. It also allows for an interaction between reader and character, a novelty in comic art.


On April 30, 2003, Onstad introduced an advice column written by the character Ray called ''Ray's Place''. The column has developed characters, mainly as perceived by Ray, and allows for readers to interact with the character.
[[July 2004]] saw the introduction of several in-character [[blog]]s. The main characters all began writing (using [[blogger.com|Blogger]]) to speak to their audience. This unique perspective further advances character development allowing the daily, often mundane, events of the character to find their way to the audience. Onstad stated in an interview that he found the blogs easier to maintain than the strip, as they do not require as much refining. This method of breaking the [[fourth wall]] has been extended further with the opening of a forum [http://www.buyawhiteguyasubscriptiontoebony.org/forums/index.php?showforum=14] supposedly maintained by one of the characters, Emeril.


July 2004 saw the introduction of several in-character blogs hosted on [[blogger.com|Blogger]]. Onstad stated in an interview that he found the blogs easier to maintain than the strip, as they do not require as much refining.{{Citation needed|date=February 2024}}
In late 2004, it was announced that Checker Book Publishing Group had signed Chris Onstad to a three-book deal that was to begin in [[November 2004]]. However, the deal was canceled soon after due to creative differences.


In late 2004, it was announced that Checker Book Publishing Group was to release a collection of ''Achewood'' comics later that year.<ref name="bostonherald">Perigar, Mark A. (13 August 2004). "Checker-ed Past; Publisher keeps vintage, beloved works in print". ''[[The Boston Herald]]''. The Edge; Pg. e35</ref> Checker had signed Chris Onstad to a three-book deal that was to begin in November 2004. However, the deal was cancelled soon after due to creative differences.
===Etymology===
According to the official website, "achewood" was used by slaves during the [[United States|United States of America]] [[American Civil War|antebellum]] in the production of "achewater", a now outlawed Southern drink with psychedelic properties, similar to the use of wormwood in the production of absinthe. This liquor would induce melancholia in the drinker, hence the name. This etymology is fictitious.


On September 10, 2008, [[Dark Horse Comics]] published a 104-page extended version of "The Great Outdoor Fight" story arc, with a deleted scene, background material on the fight, and other original content.{{Citation needed|date=February 2024}}
Some fans speculate that the title is an allusion to [[A.A. Milne|A.A. Milne's]] [[Hundred Acre Wood|Hundred Acre Wood]]


Dark Horse subsequently published in October 2009 the first several years of ''Achewood'' comics under the title of ''Achewood Volume Two: Worst Song, Played On Ugliest Guitar'', including notes on each strip by Onstad.<ref>{{cite book|title=Achewood Volume 2: Worst Song, Played On Ugliest Guitar: Amazon.ca: Chris Onstad: Books |date=2009-10-21 |id={{ASIN|1595822399|country=ca}} }}</ref> A third volume, ''Achewood Volume Three: A Home For Scared People'', was published in December 2010 and contains strips up to the end of October 2002.<ref>{{cite book|title=Achewood Volume 3: A Home for Scared People: Amazon.cm: Chris Onstad: Books |isbn=978-1595824509 |last1=Onstad |first1=Chris |year=2010 |publisher=Dark Horse Books }}</ref>
===The Underground===
The Achewood Underground is an underground version of the human city above, inhabited and run by animals both stuffed and real, as well as several robots (although their presence in The underground could be debatable). The underground has its own businesses and establishments that parallel those above ground, and its inhabitants often steal or borrow things from their human counterparts aboveground. Aside from Achewood, it is assumed that most cities around the world have their own undergrounds as well.
[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10102003]


The arrival of new comics slowed down in late 2010. On March 20, 2011, Onstad posted on his blog that ''Achewood'' would be on an indefinite hiatus.<ref name="hiatus" /> Between November 2011, and June 2012, Onstad posted comics on an erratic basis, with up to four comics per month, then resumed regular, weekly new comics from August 2013 to April 7, 2014.
== Characters ==
{{spoiler}}


Onstad resumed posting comics on December 24, 2015, with the first new strip in 20 months, and continued to update the site on most subsequent Fridays throughout 2016.<ref>{{cite web|last1=O'Neil|first1=Tim|title=Achewood returns neurotic as ever after all these years|url=http://www.avclub.com/article/achewood-returns-neurotic-ever-after-all-these-yea-236457|website=The A.V. Club|date=17 May 2016}}</ref> On December 25, 2016, Onstad announced that he was "walking away" from the strip and that it would be entering another extended hiatus period.<ref name="hiatus16"/>
=== Raymond Quentin Smuckles ===
[[Image:Achewood ray.gif|left]]


The webcomic was resumed in 2023, being made available over Patreon.<ref name=":0" />
[http://raysmuckles.blogspot.com Ray's Blog]


==Major characters==
Ray Smuckles is a [[cat]] (more specifically, an [[American Curl]], a breed that, appropriately enough, originated from [[Lakewood]], California) with expertise in such diverse fields as [[Cooking|cookery]], [[alcohol]], underground street dancing, [[entrepreneurship]], and [[woman|women]]. Ray made his first appearance on January 10, 2002. Along with his best friend Roast Beef, Ray is the central character of the strip; their relationship lies at the heart of Achewood. Ray can be identified by his designer glasses, a [[G-string|thong]], the occasional [[cape]], and a gold medallion which once belonged to the fictitious Incan Fun God, "[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06012005 King Chochacho]." Ray often speaks of his heritage: his mother's side of the family is French Catholic Southern gentry, while his father's side is a diverse collection of tough, philosophical underworld characters (more below).
=== Raymond Quentin Smuckles ===
Raymond Quentin "Ray" Smuckles<ref>[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06252007 Ray's Baseball Card], June 25, 2007, ''Achewood''</ref> is a somewhat overweight [[American Curl]] cat. In the comic, Ray is a financially successful musician after he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for success in pop music. The character is lucky and acquires money in various ways. He tends to throw lots of parties and is generous to his friends, but he has a weakness to gambling and is occasionally rude and insensitive. Ray made his first appearance on January 10, 2002, and has since become a major character in the comic along with Roast Beef. He can be identified by his outfit - designer glasses, a thong, the occasional [[fur coat]], and a gold medallion.


An advice column called ''Ray's Place'' is written in character by Ray on the ''Achewood'' site.
Ray tends to be lucky, acquiring money in a variety of ways, including a record contract with Sony (after selling his soul to the devil for piano skills), an auspicious eBay purchase of vintage erotica valued at 600 million dollars, and various business ventures. Through eBay Platinum Reserve, he now owns [[Airwolf]], [[Keith Moon]]'s head, and the world's biggest laser. He enjoys throwing lavish parties with unusual themes. Ray drives a [[Cadillac Escalade]]. He is very generous to his friends and to people in general, but on an entirely random basis and interspersed with long periods of outright rudeness and total insensetivity (for instance, he tried to . He also has a very serious obsession with [[Ketel One]] and zinfandel alcohols. It is possible that he inherited his musical genius from his paternal grandfather Antonyne Cheops Smuckles, better known as the legendary bluesman Rustmouth Chafings.
==="Roast Beef" Kazenzakis===
Roast Beef Kazenzakis is an intersex cat character. His [[birth name]] was "Cassandra" <ref>[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022002 Beef's Real Name], December 2, 2002, ''Achewood''</ref> and it is unknown where his nickname, "Roast Beef," came from. He serves as one of the main characters of ''Achewood'' along with Ray. Roast Beef often serves as a [[Foil (narrative)|foil]] to Ray in the strips. He is interested in [[Unix]] computer programming, poetry, and he has a wife named Molly Sanders whom he met in Heaven but eventually she came down to Earth to marry him. Despite a difficult childhood marked by poverty and trauma, including his mother killing his father, Beef battles his constant depression and suicidal thoughts. His relationship with Molly has improved his mental state, aided by light therapy. He has been shot four times in the comic.


Roast Beef has written a number of poems, both in the strip and on his in-character blog. A recurrent theme in these involves weapons disguised as food.
On the other hand, he has a weakness for gambling, and often loses up to thousands of dollars while playing golf and pool with his friends. Ray has a penchant for prank calls, whether outgoing ([[Marmaduke]], [[Cathy (comic strip)|Cathy]]) or incoming ([[Telemarketing|telemarketer]]s). He also has a sexual [[Fetishism|fetish]] for women sitting on birthday cakes. Ray drinks alcohol throughout the day; numerous strips imply that he is an alcoholic, and his physician, Dr. Andretti, has repeatedly warned him that he is in severe danger of becoming [[diabetes|diabetic]]. He recently learned his father, Ramses Luther Smuckles, won the 1973 Great Outdoor Fight, which inspired Ray to enter. Ray defeated all other entrants in the GOF except for Roast Beef (see below), and demolished the Fight grounds when he discovered that Fight regulations required that he beat Beef to unconsciousness in order to win.


===Philippe===
Ray also writes the advice column "[http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php Ray's Place]" on the Achewood site, though there is a disclaimer at the bottom warning that the advice is in fact from a cartoon cat.{{clear}}
Philippe is an undyingly optimistic and naïve young otter who resides in the house with Cornelius Bear, Lyle and Téodor, as well as Chris and Chris's family. His housemates collectively raised him with varied success,<ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 King Piss!], October 19, 2005, ''Achewood''</ref> with Téodor acting as a nurturing motherly-type; Lyle as a neglectful big brother, and Mr. Bear as a stern but gentle father. He is separated from his mother, who lives in Ohio, but they talk on the phone frequently, and have a close relationship. His mother occasionally sends him unusual presents. Other than the fact that he is deceased, nothing is known about Philippe's father. He is implied to be of French descent, and to have fought in a war as a youth.


Philippe seems to be perpetually five years old, and celebrates his fifth birthday every year. A strip which revealed the future of the ''Achewood'' characters<ref>[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10022007 The Future], October 2, 2007, ''Achewood''</ref> showed that Philippe will still be the same age, even after the other characters grow old and die. He eventually ends up moving back in with this mother, further emphasizing his young age.
Ray was originally introduced as a minor supporting character, part of a trio of cats (along with Roast Beef and Pat) who were always seen together, and fancied themselves "the dirtiest dudes in town" due to their reputed penchant for foul language. As time passed, Onstad began to give the three cats individual personalities, and before long the focus of Achewood began to move away from the four stuffed animals living in the Onstad residence and onto Ray and Beef. The increasingly abrasive Pat remained in a supporting role, eventually turning the trio into a duo.


His character has inspired music such as a song by the synth-pop band [[Freezepop (band)|Freezepop]] titled "Here Comes a Special Boy" and the [[Song Fight!]] Entries for "What We Need More Of Is Science" by Brody and Octothorpe are two different versions of the same song about Philippe.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.songfight.org/songpage.php?key=morescience |title=What We Need More Of Is Science – Songfight Archives |access-date= 2008-11-02 |author=[[Song Fight!]] |date=11 August 2008 |publisher=www.songfight.org |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080914115607/http://www.songfight.org/songpage.php?key=morescience |archive-date=14 September 2008}} [http://www.songfight.org/songpage.php?key=morescience Alt URL]</ref>
Ray is a member of a syndicate of other flamboyantly rich, jive-talking cats, including Akkolade and Bensington Butters, his rival. They spend their time on theme parties, weekend retreats and plotting to sabotage the other members' images.


===Cornelius Bear===<!-- This section is linked from [[List of fictional bears]] -->
=== C. "Roast Beef" Kazenzakis ===
Often referred to in the comic as Mr. Bear (and "Connie" by Ray), he is a bear that is a scholarly and fatherly figure to much of the cast, being much older than most of them — he was married to his first (now deceased) wife, Iris Gambol, sometime before 1967. He is characterizied by his love of alcohol, literature, his British mannerisms, and his fine taste. It has also been implied that he has been imprisoned in the past. He is well regarded for having written many different [[Children's literature|children's books]]. He wears [[pince-nez glasses]] and is usually seen in a [[dressing gown]]. The other members of the cast hold him in high regard except for a character named Lyle. He owns a [[pub]] named "The Dude and Catastrophe" and is dating a [[stripper]] that is half his age.
[[Image:Achewood roast beef.gif|left]]


===Lyle Roscoe Gabriel===
[http://rbeef.blogspot.com/ Roast Beef's Blog]
Lyle is a belligerent stuffed tiger who enjoys playing pranks on his friends and drinking. He is a talented [[Calligraphy|calligrapher]], [[Cosmetology|cosmetician]], and is knowledgeable about cars. Lyle has a mysterious past which caused him to move from Gainesville, Florida, to Achewood. Lyle is often seen drunk due to being more comfortable that way, but is intelligent when sober. He is often seen wearing a t-shirt for the band [[Misfits (band)|Misfits]] in the comic strips. He was previously employed in every position in a kitchen at one point, but now films pornography, usually involving transgender women. Lyle is close friends with the character Todd T. Squirrel, who shares his love of alcohol.


===Téodor Orezscu===
Roast Beef (first name, [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022002 Cassandra] — Roast Beef was born [[Intersexuality|intersex]]ed), a cat, is interested in [[computer programming]] and has a girlfriend Molly formerly in [[heaven]], where he visited her twice: once after being shot by Pat and once after driving a [[golf cart]] off a cliff while high on [[Cannabis (drug)|marijuana]] [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06272003]. Molly now lives on Earth, and has now reached an on-again, off-again relationship with Beef (as those who know him call him).
Téodor is a teddy bear. He originates from [[Minsk]], [[Belarus]] and is of Jewish descent. He is a skilled cook, musician, and [[graphic design]]er, and is also portrayed as being an all around friendly guy. His personality was originally quite crazy, exhibiting [[Clothes free movement|nudist]] tendencies in early ''Achewood'' strips, though he seems to have dropped those in later strips. He is also depicted using marijuana and mushrooms. While talented and intelligent, he is often portrayed as lacking motivation and direction except when exercising or cooking. He had an [[Internet romance|online relationship]] with a girl named Penny, and eventually it is shown how the relationship ended up. Penny made Téodor the T-emblazoned sweater he wears in the comic, leaving it as a gift for him. While the other stuffed animals of the house treat Philippe as a roommate, Téodor instead fills the role of Philippe's guardian while the otter is separated from his mother. Téodor died in the April 28, 2005 comic strip due to choking on a bottle cap but was revived when Lyle kicked him in the gut. Onstad has claimed that Téodor is similar to him in real life.


===Patrick Reynolds===
It seems that Roast Beef has had a desperately unhappy and impoverished childhood. [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06302005] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07222005] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04192005] He has seemingly incurable [[clinical depression|depression]] and/or [[Avoidant personality disorder]], and considers [[suicide]] often, though no one seems to care. Recently however, his depression seems to have improved, particularly since meeting Molly. For a long time he lived in a trailer with his abusive grandmother, Gramma K. Recently, he has moved out of the trailer and into Ray's pool shed. His [[speech balloon]]s use a slightly smaller font than that of other characters and rarely include [[punctuation]], to emphasize his timidity and unique manner of speech. Roast Beef sometimes sports an impressive vocabulary and will, on occasion, sprinkle words such as insatiable or phenomena into his normally slang filled dialogue.
Pat is one of the three original cat characters, along with Roast Beef and Ray. His role has receded into the background over the webcomic's runtime, but his is still a notable presence. He is a generally an unpleasant character with a negative attitude and is often the antagonist in many strips. He has high standards for other characters and gets angry when they do not meet them. Pat also seems to look down on various occupations such as barbers and disabled people. He seems to suffer from [[Obsessive–compulsive disorder|OCD]] and anger issues, for which he attends a support group for. He is into [[Zen Buddhism]] and [[veganism]] to look superior to his friends, but he secretly prefers to eat meat. He was put in jail for shooting the character Roast Beef, but escaped and got off the hook due to Ray's connections. He lives with a [[serial killer]] he met in jail named Peter "Nice Pete" Cropes. Pat disowned his father, Simon Reynolds, due to Simon coming out as gay. However, Pat later came out as gay as well due to a family curse and has been dating a gay porn star named Rod Huggins.


===Molly Sanders===
He has been shot at least four times. One shooting [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09162002 lodged a bullet in his spine], which grants him permanent [[Wi-Fi|wireless Internet]] access (though this has never been mentioned since, and he still uses physical computers to access the net; one possible reason for this is that, according to the [[mouseover]] in the strip where this happened, his bodily internet connection is only 9600 baud, which would be considered extremely slow by anyone, especially the internet-savvy Roast Beef). Another shooting resulted in his cardio-pulmonary system being replaced by that of an [[AIBO]]. He has also been shot at least one additional time by Ray and [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06032004 once fatally by Lie Bot] (who was masquerading as Ray's uncle Culpepper).
Molly, a cat character, was born in 17th-century [[Wales]]. She died in a shipwreck in 1676 and went to [[Heaven]], where she was able to keep up on developments in the living world and became interested in modern technology. Roast Beef first met her in Heaven after Pat shot him. Molly now resides on Earth, living in Ray's pool shed with Roast Beef after her and Roast Beef got married. Roast Beef's lack of social skills means their relationship is often strained, but Molly's patience and tolerance often win out. Molly picked up programming in Heaven, but since she died long before computers and coding were invented she has no official qualifications and was forced to get a job in the [[service industry]]. She has held different jobs over the course of the comic, but now works at a [[Starbucks]]. She runs an in-universe show named the "Achewood A-List."{{clear}}


==Early development of the series==
Roast Beef's birthday is [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04222002 April 22nd]. Some of his accomplishments include a [[Computer program|program]] that determines how many eggs and how much milk you need to buy in a given week, and another that determines the amount of loose change lying around your house and makes a reservation at a restaurant accordingly. He is perhaps the world's greatest historian of the Great Outdoor Fight, and drove Ray to compete (and win) in the 2006 Fight. He also managed to get into the fight himself by hacking the fight's [[database]]. He drives a 1965 [[Ford Galaxie]] (powered by Ford's rare [[Ford_FE_engine#427_SOHC|427 SOHC V8]]) that was a gift from Ray. He has also gone to the moon, by stealing Pat's home-made rocket, and to the afterlife, via various methods including vomiting into an [[Domestic AC power plugs and sockets|electrical outlet]]. He has also produced his very own [[zine]], titled ''Man Why You Even Got To Do A Thing''.
In the early months of ''Achewood'', the strip takes place entirely at Chris Onstad's house, and the four original characters, Philippe, Téodor, Lyle, and Cornelius Bear, are implied to be essentially trapped there. They are forced to hide from normal people due to being alive stuffed animals, and there is no mention of having jobs, money, or any real responsibilities. After Ray, Roast Beef and Pat are introduced, however, the characters begin to assume more complex personalities and exercise greater independence. The transition from a [[gag-a-day]] webcomic to a more involved one happened abruptly during an extended story arc called "The Party," the first of the long-form storylines which would become a staple of ''Achewood''. Subsequent chapters establish more clearly defined relationships between the characters, add additional depth to their personalities, and follow the main cast through other major story arcs.


At the beginning of ''Achewood'', the two main characters, Ray and Roast Beef were background characters. They were a part of a trio of cats, along with Pat, who always appeared together and were known for their vulgar insults. Only Ray and Pat were given names originally. As time passed, Ray and Beef were given more and more panel time, eventually becoming the central characters of the strip, with the original four main characters taking on supporting roles.
Roast Beef has written a number of poems, both in the strip and on his blog. A recurrent theme involves concealed weapons disguised as foodstuffs, and these conclude with a (presumably screamed) 'OHHH SHIIIT!' Poems not involving with weapons in food do not conclude with the above explanation, indicating that Roast Beef has distinct fear of the hidden weapons.


==Other features==
According to [http://www.brianmpalmer.com/onstad.htm Onstad], Roast Beef is one of several important [[foil (literature)|foils]] to the increasingly central character of Ray. Ray's consistent optimism, sexual bravado, unwavering confidence, privileged upbringing, simple attitudes, and good luck makes him seem on the surface a complete antithesis of character to Roast Beef. Regardless, the two have been close friends since childhood, and it may be observed that as the strip progresses, each occasionally adopts the attitudes and perspectives of the other. The two do, of course, have a few points of dissent: Roast Beef is somewhat more sympathetic to Little Nephew than his Uncle Ray, and has taken issue with Ray's alcoholism.
Chris Onstad has also produced other material within the ''Achewood'' '[[Fictional universe|universe]]', including:
{{clear}}
* Various blogs written by some of the comic's characters.
* A zine, ''Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing'', purportedly written by Roast Beef (publication halted since Issue 7).
* Two novellas by the character Nice Pete.
* ''The Achewood Cookbook'', aimed mainly at beginners, in which the characters provide recipes and cooking advice. Onstad was frustrated by ''[[The French Laundry Cookbook]]'', finding it "essentially useless to any home cook", and wrote his own cookbook aimed at "guys who are just out of college and have one pan and one electric burner". Onstad believed that doing such a task would be entertaining and challenging. Onstad visited a supermarket chain store and bought eggs, ground beef, and mustard, and created around 50 recipes based around them. The book includes recipes for cocktails, [[Scotch egg]]s,<ref name="Norton">Norton, James. "[http://www.salon.com/life/food/eat_drink/2007/04/10/onstad_qa/ Chow down, dude]." ''[[Salon (magazine)|Salon]]''. Tuesday April 10, 2007. Retrieved on July 23, 2011.</ref> hot dogs, chicken, orzo, and other foods and drinks. Ray Smuckles presents all of the cocktails. Danielle Maestretti of ''[[Utne Reader]]'' said that the recipes range in appeal and complexity.<ref>"[http://www.utne.com/2007-04-01/FromtheStacksApril202007.aspx From the Stacks: April 20, 2007]". ''[[Utne Reader]]''. April 20, 2007. Retrieved on July 23, 2011.</ref>
* A former feature called "Current Kid Status", in which Onstad documented the joys, travails and current events of raising his son. It ran from his son's birth in March 2005, until 27 November 2007. A compendium of these bits has been packaged into a book and is available for purchase at The Achewood Store.
* The ''Achewood'' Store, which includes such items as clothing, cookbooks, aprons, glasses and other assorted goods.
* A Twitter page, once featuring [[Twitter|tweets]] about the daily activities of the ''Achewood'' characters, but now focusing on the life of Onstad himself.<ref>[https://twitter.com/achewood Twitter / achewood<!-- Bot generated title -->]</ref>


=== Philippe ===
==Reception==
As of April 10, 2007, ''Achewood'' received about ten million page views monthly. James Norton of ''[[Salon.com]]'' said that the "well-developed cast of characters, many of whom just happen to be seriously into good food" get the attention of the audience.<ref name="Norton"/>
[[Image:Achewood philippe.gif|left]]


===Awards===
[http://philippesblog.blogspot.com Philippe's Blog]
On September 12, 2007, ''Achewood'' was named "Funniest Webcomic" by humour website [[Cracked.com]].<ref>{{cite web |last=Swaim |first=Mike |date=2007-10-12 |title=The 8 Funniest Webcomics |url=http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2376 |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20071011195442/http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2376 |archive-date=October 11, 2007 |access-date=2007-11-30 |work=cracked.com}}</ref>


''Achewood'' received the [[Ignatz Award]] in 2007 and 2008 for Outstanding Online Comic.<ref name="Ignatz2007">{{cite web|url=http://www.spxpo.com/ignatzwinner07.shtml |title=2007 Ignatz Awards |access-date=2008-10-14 |date=1 October 2007 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080601185538/http://spxpo.com/ignatzwinner07.shtml |archive-date=2008-06-01 |url-status=live }}</ref><ref name="Ignatz2008">{{cite web |url=http://www.spxpo.com/2008-ignatz-award-recipients |title=2008 Ignatz Awards |access-date=2011-11-07 |date=4 October 2008 }}</ref>
Philippe is a naïve young otter who resides in the house with Cornelius Bear, Lyle and Téodor, as well as Chris and Chris's family. His housemates collectively raise him with [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005 varied success], with Téador acting as a nurturing mother, Lyle as a neglectful big brother, and Mr Bear as a stern but gentle father.
He is separated from his mother, who lives in an undisclosed location, but they talk on the phone frequently and have a close relationship. As is the case with Roast Beef, Philippe's father is deceased. From time to time Philippe's mother sends him [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06102002 unusual presents].


''[[Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine's [[Lev Grossman]] named it number one on its list of the top 10 graphic novels of 2007.<ref>Grossman, Lev (2007). "[https://web.archive.org/web/20071212161148/http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/top10/article/0,30583,1686204_1686244_1692006,00.html Top 10 Graphic Novels]." [[Time (magazine)|Time]]. Retrieved on 6 November 2008.</ref>
Though he is five, Philippe has had an exciting life. He has [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02042002 made friends with a french fry], [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10152002 been married to a flower], had a frightening encounter with a serial killer (Nice Pete), been [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07222002 possessed] by the soul of [[Billy Idol]], [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01292004 run for president], and [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12042002 accidentally killed a robot]. Phillipe recently became a 'father' to a bird named Franky. Philippe's birthday is on [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08222005 August 22nd].


In November 2009, ''Achewood'' was named one of the best comics of the '00s by [[The A.V. Club]].<ref>The A.V. Club. "[https://www.avclub.com/the-best-comics-of-the-00s-1798220915 Top Comics of the 00s]." Retrieved on 30 November 2009.</ref>
Philippe enjoys hugs and is very [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05022002 gullible]. Inspired by poster images of the Soviet era, Philippe recently decided to join the [[Communist party]], but then lost interest when the poster was replaced with one of the band [[The Arcade Fire]], which he took literally.


In November 2019, ''Achewood'' ranked #14 on [[Rolling Stone|Rolling Stone's]] list of "The 50 Best Non-Superhero Graphic Novels".<ref>{{Cite magazine |last=Gross |first=Joe |date=2019-11-16 |title=The 50 Best Non-Superhero Graphic Novels |url=https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-lists/drawn-out-the-50-best-non-superhero-graphic-novels-29579/ |access-date=2023-09-11 |magazine=Rolling Stone |language=en-US}}</ref>
Phillippe has the strange talent of easily coming up with [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09182006 polyglot palindromes], phrases that are English in one direction and another language when reversed.{{clear}}


''Achewood'' has been nominated for multiple [[Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards]]:
=== Cornelius Bear ===
* [[2004 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards|2004]]: {{WCCA|2004|Outstanding Writing}}<ref name="WCCA 2004">{{cite web |url=http://www.ccawards.com/2004.htm |title=2004 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards |access-date=2008-03-30 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080328034015/http://ccawards.com/2004.htm |archive-date=28 March 2008 |url-status=dead }}</ref>
[[Image:Achewood cornelius.jpg|left]]
* [[2005 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards|2005]]: {{WCCA|2005|Outstanding Writer}}<ref name="WCCA 2005">{{cite web|url=http://www.ccawards.com/2005.htm |title=2005 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards |access-date=2008-03-30 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080304140353/http://www.ccawards.com/2005.htm |archive-date=4 March 2008 |url-status=dead }}</ref>
* [[2006 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards|2006]]: {{WCCA|2006|Outstanding Comic}}, {{WCCA|2006|Outstanding Writer}}, {{WCCA|2006|Outstanding Character Writing}} & {{WCCA|2006|Outstanding Comedic Comic}}<ref name="WCCA 2006">{{cite web |url=http://ryanestrada.com/wcca/ |title=2006 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards Online Ceremony |access-date=2008-03-30 | archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20080325051641/http://ryanestrada.com/wcca/| archive-date= 25 March 2008 | url-status= live}}</ref>
* [[2008 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards|2008]]: {{WCCA|2008|Outstanding Comic}}, {{WCCA|2008|Outstanding Writer}} & {{WCCA|2008|Outstanding Character Writing}}<ref name="WCCA 2008">{{cite web |url=http://www.ccawards.com/2008finalists.html |title=2008 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards |access-date=2008-03-30 |date=8 March 2008 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080330174734/http://ccawards.com/2008finalists.html |archive-date=30 March 2008 |url-status=dead }}</ref>


==Author==
[http://corneliusbear.blogspot.com Cornelius's Blog]
Chris Onstad was born June 14, 1975, in California and grew up in a small town near Sonora, in the Sierra foothills. Onstad attended [[Stanford University]], where he edited the [[Stanford Chaparral]] humor magazine. Onstad has published several books: nine [[anthology|anthologies]] of ''Achewood'' comics; a humorous [[cookbook]] featuring recipes purportedly invented by the strip's characters; ''A Wonderful Tale'', a book written from the perspective of a character from the strip; and that same character's second novel ''A Hilarious Comedy''. He has also published six editions of ''Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing,'' an ''Achewood''-centric [[zine]].


Onstad reveals little of his private life online, but it is known that he currently lives in [[Portland, Oregon]]. Chris and his first wife have a son, born in 2005. Onstad formerly had a section on his website about his son, titled "current kid status," which he updated regularly with stories and happenings. These are collected in the self-published book ''Current Baby Status – The Collected Archive.'' In a February 23, 2012, interview with ''[[The Believer (magazine)|The Believer]]'' Onstad revealed that he had divorced from his wife.<ref>{{cite web|last=Martin|first=Joseph|title=Interview with Chris Onstad by Joseph Martin (part)|url=http://believermag.tumblr.com/post/18779782128/interview-with-chris-onstad-by-joseph-martin-part}}</ref>
Most often referred to as Mr. Bear, he is a scholarly and fatherly figure to much of the cast, being much older than most of them - he was married to his first wife, Iris Gambol, sometime before 1967. [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06092006] He is not afraid to enjoy a good drink, and tends to be more erudite and romantic than the rest of the cast. It has also been implied that he has been imprisoned, and has had German, French and Austrian cellmates, although it is possible this was all a fabrication to win the Badass Games[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06132006]. Mr. Bear is also the [[author]] of several [[Children's literature|children's books]] including "So Many Whales", "The Mayor of Banana Town," and — during a somewhat later and darker period — "Janet: The Girlfriend Who Could Only Ever Complain" and "Chug-A-Lug: The Train Who Drinks". He wears [[pince nez]] and is most often attired in an elegant dressing gown.[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12042001] Although originally from [[Cambridge]] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09092003] he now lives at 62 Achewood Ct. Recently, he was shot by Pat, but survived. During his recovery, he spent his time writing eloquent closed captions for the [[Spice Network]]. Mr. Bear has been seen driving an [[Mini|Austin Mini]] with the driver's seat on the right-hand side, indicating it was originally sold in [[Britain]].


Chris Onstad has self-published [[#Bibliography|sixteen books]]: seven collections of ''Achewood'' comics, two books by character Nice Pete (''A Wonderful Tale'' and ''A Hilarious Comedy''), six [[zine|'zines]] by another named Roast Beef, and ''Recipes for a Lady or a Man: The Achewood Cookbook'' with recipes from several of the main characters. A second cookbook, titled ''You Can't Put Cream Sauce on the Truth, The Achewood Cookbook Vol 2" was published in 2022.
Mr. Bear seems to command respect from nearly every member of the cast — with the noteworthy exception of the brash and petulant Lyle. This can be seen in almost every strip in which they both appear. [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01042002][http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06052003] [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09022003] [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11042003]


In September 2013, Onstad launched a new business, Portland Soda Works.<ref>{{Cite web |url=http://portlandsoda.com/portland-soda-works/ |title=Portland Soda Works &#124; Portland Soda Works |access-date=2015-04-13 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20150413140230/http://portlandsoda.com/portland-soda-works/ |archive-date=2015-04-13 |url-status=dead }}</ref>
Despite a reputation for class, Mr. Bear seems to have low standards when it comes to employment. At various times, he has been a writer of [[Romance novel|genre romance novels]][http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04262004], a closed captioner for the Spice Channel [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12152004] and a paid lecturer for [[Mensa International]][http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06302006]. More recently Cornelius has become the proprietor of an English pub, a joint venture between himself and Ray. The naming of said pub has been the subject of much deliberation between the two characters although at the time of writing it was designated "The Dude and Catastrophe" [http://corneliusbear.blogspot.com/2006/10/pub-name-backpedal.html].{{clear}}


In September 2024, Onstad remarried.
=== Lyle Gabriel ===
[[Image:Achewood lyle.png|left]]


===Influences===
[http://lyle151.blogspot.com Lyle's Blog]
Onstad remarked in an interview that "You can't help but be affected by [[Mark Twain]] books, Lay's Potato Chip ads, a fat lady who is yelling outside, [[David Letterman]], etc."<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.critiquemagazine.com/onwriting/index.php?author=onstad&submit=Go |title=Search for "Onstad" at critiquemagazine.com |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20051230041235/http://www.critiquemagazine.com/onwriting/index.php?author=onstad&submit=Go |archive-date=December 30, 2005 }}</ref> And elsewhere, to Brian M. Palmer, "The reader would likely be a better judge." He has expressed admiration for [[Chris Ware]] and [[Tony Millionaire]]. He has also claimed to be influenced by "[[Bill Bryson|Bryson]], [[Dave Barry|Barry]], [[Mark Twain|Twain]], [[Ben Elton|Elton]], [[P. G. Wodehouse|Wodehouse]], [[Douglas Adams|Adams]], [[Vonnegut]], [[John Irving]], [[Arthur Conan Doyle]], [[Jack Handey]], [[Al Franken]], that sort of thing. Those sorts of guys. [[Tina Fey]]. [[Aaron Sorkin]]."<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.lataco.com/taco/interview-with-chris-onstadt-achewood |title=Interview with Chris Onstad ~ Achewood |publisher=La Taco |date=2007-05-30 |access-date=2010-02-19}}</ref>


In another interview with Brian Palmer, he professed his admiration for the British comedy show ''[[Look Around You]]'' and also stated, "I haven't seen anything that tops ''[[Mr. Show]]''."
A belligerent stuffed tiger who enjoys [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09192003 playing pranks on his friends] and takes his alcohol [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12202001 early and often]. He is a talented [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05302002 calligrapher] and [[Cosmetology|cosmetician]] [http://rbeef.blogspot.com/2004/07/got-haircut-today.html] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07232004], and apparently knows something about [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05122004 cars]. Lyle has a mysterious, [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09162003 possibly criminal], [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06052002 possibly tragic] past. For a time he also was employed helping recent Male to Female [[transsexuals]] "become sexually active and confident in their new bodies" [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04252005]. He has also become involved in [[pornography]]. He recently returned from [[Scotland]] where he meant to learn how to make [[scotch]], but instead became trapped at a [[finishing school]]. He lives at 62 Achewood Court. He's also often seen wearing a [[The Misfits|Misfits]] T-shirt.{{clear}}


In regards to the influence of the culinary culture, Onstad said that he always enjoyed eating food. Onstad said that when he met his first wife, she was "a bit more of a cook" than he was; she had traveled to [[Italy]] to study abroad. Since he was, in his words, "mostly omnivorous" and she is a vegetarian, the two have to find food that can appeal to both of them. Onstad added that he is "competitive" and aims to "do a good job with these things and impress people." In addition, since Onstad's wife was an employee of [[Williams Sonoma (brand)|Williams Sonoma]], the two received discounted high end cookware that they normally would not have bought.<ref name="Norton"/> On January 27, 2012, it was announced that Onstad would be the new food critic for the [[Portland Mercury]].<ref>DeJesus, Erin (January 27, 2012). [http://pdx.eater.com/archives/2012/01/27/achewoods-chris-onstad-named-mercury-food-critic.php "Achewood's Chris Onstad Named Mercury Food Critic."] ''Eater'' (PDX.Eater.com). Retrieved June 8, 2019.</ref>
=== Téodor Orezscu ===
[[Image:Achewood teodor.gif|left]]


== Bibliography ==
[http://orezscu.blogspot.com Téodor's Blog]


=== Self-published ===
Téodor is a teddy bear, as evidenced by [http://www.achewood.com/about.php his portrait]. He and his family originate from Minsk, [[Belarus]] (his father was an [[actuary]]). Though he is Belarusian, the name Orezscu seems to be Romanian in origin. He is a skilled cook, musician and [[graphic design]]er, and is also an all around friendly guy. He was originally quite crazy and uninhibited, exhibiting [[Clothes free movement|nudist]] tendencies in early Achewood strips, though he seems to have calmed down a bit over the years. These days he's probably the most "normal" out of the entire Achewood cast, though he is definitely not without quirks of his own (such as his passion for [[risotto]]). Mostly he hangs around the house watching porn with Lyle. He had an [[Internet romance|online relationship]] with a girl named Penny, but we never really see where that ended up. He is a close friend of Philippe and keeps him out of trouble. He has appeared in numerous strips recreationally using marijuana and seems to also be a user of [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=10042001 psychedelic mushrooms]. Téodor's birthday is in [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=10022001 early October]. Lie Bot predicted his death to be on April 28, 2005. As it happens, Téodor ''did'' die on April 28 [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04282005], after he choked on a [[Grolsch]] bottle cap whilst watching ''BREAST ATTACK ON FUCK MOUNTAIN''. However, Lyle [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05022005 performed] a "Longshoreman's [[abdominal thrusts|Heimlich]]" (swift kick to the gut), which dislodged the cap and revived him.
*''Volume I – A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave''

*''Volume II – Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar''
=== Pat Reynolds ===
*''Volume III – The Devil's Dictionary''
[[Image:Achewood pat.gif|left]]
*''Volume IV – Ten A.M. and Drunk as a Lord''

*''Volume V – An Empty Cup of Rum''
[http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com Pat's Blog]
*''Volume VI – The Dude Is from Circumstances''

*''Volume VII – Kiss My Ass, Bitch. I'll Be at Duane's''
Pat is one of the three original cat characters, along with Roast Beef and Ray. Over the years his role has receded into the background, but his is still a formidable presence. He is generally unpleasant — he typically plays the antagonist — and seems to hate anyone that does not live up to his impossibly high standards of behavior. He seems to suffer from [[Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder]] and has some [[anger management]] problems, for which he attends a support group.
*''Volume VIII – Emergency Party At My Place''

*''Volume IX – Soured on Beer and Given to Claims''
Pat's interests in [[Veganism]], [[Zen|Zen Buddhism]] and his unusual stances on various social issues seem to be driven less by an appreciation of the philosophies, but more by a desire to feel superior to his friends, and indeed the rest of the world. He will often boycott companies at the slightest perceived provocation; for example, he claims to have stopped buying [[Kleenex]] brand tissues after he accidentally pulled three tissues out of a box instead of one, and stopped shopping at [[Whole Foods Market|Whole Foods]] because of disgust with a female employee's visible armpit hair. His elitist, negative attitude extends to a particular focus on barbers and hairstylists, as well as toll booth operators, Mexican motorists [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12022004], and employees with disabilities [http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/2004/07/people-allow-worst-things-about.html].

Pat constructed the rocket that Roast Beef stole and rode to the [[Moon]]. He is on the run after escaping from jail (he was convicted for shooting Roast Beef, and later shot Mr Bear too, probably by accident [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11222004]), but it doesn't seem to have affected his lifestyle due to Ray's connections getting him off the hook. He lives quite comfortably on the lam with "Nice Pete," a serial killer he met in jail. Interestingly, given recent speculation about Pat's sexuality, Nice Pete also attends his support group, implying that the two are quite close. He drives a [[Ford Mustang|Ford Mustang II]], and his favorite movie is [[Memento (film)|Memento]]. After being electrocuted due to a prank by Lyle and Philippe, he temporarily became much nicer [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09242003].

Pat disowned his entertainer father, Simon Reynolds, when the latter declared he was a homosexual [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08022006]. Simon has made efforts to reconcile with his son, which Pat has disgustedly repulsed [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08122005]. The entire topic of his father is off limits to Pat, suggesting repression issues. The comic has hinted at this complexity of his character for some time (e.g. [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07082005]). Recently, his latent homosexuality was forced out into the open with the discovery of a magical Mexican camera [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07312006] that depicts a person as how they feel about themselves, rather than an actual photo of the person. Both Pat and his father are homosexual due to the curse of Gladdington castle [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08072006], wherein an ancestor of theirs was cursed such that all of his sons and their sons thereafter would become homosexual at the age of 26.

=== Molly Sanders ===
[[Image:Achewood molly.gif|left]]

[http://mollysanders.blogspot.com Molly's Blog]

A cat, and Roast Beef's on-and-off girlfriend. Roast Beef first met her in Heaven after being shot by Pat. Molly now resides on Earth, living in the pool shed with Roast Beef. Roast Beef's lack of social skills often means their relationship is strained, but Molly's extraordinary patience and tolerance (and Beef's willingness to go along with her sexual adventurousness) often win out. Molly may have been a [[programmer]] in a previous life but currently works in the service industry; she has implied in her blog that she is unable to get better work because she does not have a social security card [http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2005/01/nowhere-to-go-but-wendys.html]. This is perhaps due to the fact that she is legally dead. She has held jobs at various bars and restaurants, including [[Applebee's]], [[Taco Bell]] (from which she was fired), and The Smoke (a local bar in the underground). For a time, Molly worked at an "upscale tex-mex place" called Butte, until a fire forced its closure. Molly [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01202005 was involved in] sandwich porn for Vlad when she worked at his Subway restaurant. Molly has now secured a job at [[Starbucks]] which she claims makes her "the hub of Achewood's social universe." She has been running the "Achewood A-List" off and on since December 2005 (officially named on December 19, 2005 [http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2005/12/achewood-list-for-december-19-2005.html]). {{clear}}

===Minor characters===
;AKKOLADE: A cat, who with Bensington Butters and Ray is a member of the syndicate.

;Dr. Andretti: A cat and one of the Achewood underground's foremost [[physician]]s. He was responsible for bringing Roast Beef back from the dead on more than one occasion. Dr. Andretti has an unfortunate habit of entering occupied bathrooms without knocking.

;Andy: Another robot, basically just a box with legs. Apparently he doesn't like to hang out at Vlad's place too often and owns a red [[Fender Stratocaster]] which Vlad finds corny.

;Arthur: A cat who is part of Pat's anger management class; wears star-shaped glasses. Seems overly enthusiastic about most things and is now verifiably [[gay]].

;Barry Bass: A fish who complains a lot.

;Bensington Butters: A cat, who with AKKOLADE and Ray is a member of the syndicate. Bensington Butters was responsible for the Magreaux Dog prank that had Ray fearing for his life. He drives a red Bentley with the tag "CAVIAR" and prefers Hanna-Barbera to Disney. He has also recently been discovered to have [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09252006 less-then-refined manners].

;Blister: The ghost of Todd the Squirrel's old friend Blister, [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12212001 back from the afterlife] for reasons he does not remember. Blister speaks many languages, but not Chinese.[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02212002]

;Cartilage Head: A nightclub performer whose antiquarian [[vaudeville]] act showcases his apparent lack of bones, possibly based on Valentin le Désossé, "the boneless man," who was a performer at the [[Moulin Rouge]]. After a performance, Cartilage Head tricked Ray into [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09202005 abandoning him as he lay dying]. In the end, however, it was only to photograph him with the caption "I proved myself a coward who would desert a dying man."

;Chris Onstad ([http://chrisonstad.blogspot.com Blog]): Creator of the Achewood strips. Though not a comic strip character in the strictest sense, he has appeared in at least three comic strips (from the neck down) and seems to be able to communicate with the stuffed animals and cats that make up the Achewood cast. (Sometimes [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09012005 by telephone], when serving as Roast Beef's publisher.) During the '05 holiday season, he [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12212005 cajoled a naked and sleepless Teodor] into helping him pack Achewood merchandise for shipping. Chris's birthday is [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06132003 June 14th].

;Charley "Little Nephew" Smuckles ([http://charleysmuckles.blogspot.com Blog]): Ray's nephew, often at odds with Ray. Little Nephew is very impressionable. At one time a [[hip hop music]]ian [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=10142003] (creating the album ''Fuck... Algebra!'' [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05022003]), he has proven to be even more impressionable than his tender years would suggest. At one point, he began imitating his uncle Marion, and later became a [[goth]] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06292004]. It is assumed that he is no longer part of the goth clique as his recent blog entries have returned to pre-gothic levels of crassness. Little Nephew has most recently been seen selling [[Joint (cannabis)|joints]] in competition with Lyle and Ray. He has expressed interest in pursuing a relationship with Molly, without success. Until recently, he worked at Starbucks with her.

;Chucklebot: A robot who specializes in making people chuckle. He is gay and he has known this since he was 12. He is always happy and thinks Billy Idol is "such a dish." His chuckles have been getting a bit rough lately.

;Emeril LeGoinegasque and Robert L. "Spongebath" Dane ([http://emerillg.blogspot.com Emeril's Blog]): Two cats that Ray and Beef seem to be familiar with. Emeril is basically a cat that looks like [[Emeril Lagasse]]. In the [[Alt attribute|alt-text]] of a 2004 [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06032004 strip], it was suggested that Emeril is a [[Melungeon]]. His speech appears to follow the syntax of a bastardized [[Middle English]]. Spongebath is a rather large cat that doesn't seem to do or say much and gets around by means of what appears to be a scooter. They are fans of The Tenmen, a musical group made up of cats with [[Rickenbacker]] musical equipment (even the drum). On recycling day, they like to go [[trashspotting]] with Roast Beef.

;Leo Fontanette: A cat of Italian origin ("Fontanettini") who owned the Caddy dealership over in Pintado, and went to the same gym as Ray. When Leo and Beef met during Beef's first visit to the gym, Beef broke the code of the establishment and committed a major faux pas by complimenting Leo on his "rockin'" thighs. Shortly thereafter, Leo drove his car into a cornfield in a fit of rage (while cursing Ray and Beef), and died there from a heart attack.

;Lie Bot: A robot that tells lies much of the time. He intersperses snippets of truth as well, so it can be hard to tell when he is actually lying — in fact, despite his name and knowledge of previous lies, the non-robot characters invariably believe him. His attitude moves from playfully cynical to displaying actual evil intent (While masquerading as Ray's Uncle Culpepper, he steals Ray's girlfriend and shoots Roast Beef). Phillipe is often the main victim of his lies. A running joke of the series features Phillipe asking Lie Bot what the saddest thing in the world is, only to be horrified by his answers.

;Michael "Showbiz" Kazenzakis: Roast Beef's deadbeat twin brother, he is identical to Roast Beef but with hair pulled back into a ponytail. He and Ray seem to have also been friends during childhood, spending much of their time making up cocktails. He is perpetually in deep debt to the [[Rockford Fosgate]] Company, a car-audio manufacturer, despite his lack of a car. Showbiz tends to be unwilling or unable to hold down a steady job, generally working as a dishwasher or similar unskilled position although he occasionally panhandles.

;Milklin Honniker: A cat who has had an unfortunate time attempting to sell things door to door (car seat covers, bird roasters, Jehovah's Witnesses membership, and books for children in "nontraditional family situations"). Most recently he was trying to convince Roast Beef to become a Jehovah's Witness. Ray decided to give him business advice, which Milklin gladly followed. He took out an ad in "Reminiscence" Magazine[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10132005].

;Peter H. "Nice Pete" Cropes ([http://peterhcropes.blogspot.com Blog]): A cat, Nice Pete is a convicted [[Felony|felon]], a [[sex offender]] and a serial [[murder]]er. His motherless upbringing in rural West Virginia was highly dysfunctional and Onstad's strips about Nice Pete are done in the style of [[William Faulkner|Faulkner]]. He was once cellmates with Pat. In person he tends to be quite pleasant. He has written several pieces of [[Bible]] [[fan fiction]], and is currently working on a [[novel]] consisting of several short chapters which can be read in his blog, and [http://www.achewood.com/shop/books_awt.php is now for sale]. He is available for services involving self-mutilation, for a price. Apparently lives with Pat.

;Penny: A woman with whom Téodor had an online relationship. The two have never actually met, though Penny did give Téodor what appears to be a sweater with the letter 'T' on it. He wears the sweater in almost every strip in which he appears.

;Philippe's Mother: A river otter, probably stuffed, who is Philippe's mother. She has a habit of sending Philippe various things mostly having to do with how Philippe is a "Special Boy." Is a widow and seeing someone new, much to Philippe's dismay, and was also hit on by Vlad at one point. A guest strip by Drew Weing depicting the "filming" of Achewood revealed her to be an abusive "Mommy Dearest" type stage mother; it was given high praise by Onstad but was never firmly established to be [[canon (fiction)|canon]].

;Ramses Luther Smuckles: Ray's father. Champion of [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01272006 the 1973 Great Outdoor Fight] under the pseudonym Rodney Leonard Stubbs. Called "The Man With The Blood On His Hands", and [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02032006 "the Thomas Edison of handing a dude his ass"] because of his unparalleled original fighting style, which included at one time throwing a beer through someone's entire head. Son of legendary bluesman Antonyne Cheops "Rustmouth Chafings" Smuckles, who died at Ramses' wedding.

;Simon Reynolds: Pat's father, a friendly bohemian children's entertainer. Years ago, Pat performed with him in an act known as "Dreamwheel and the Child", but once Simon came out as a homosexual Pat rejected him, forcibly moving him to Portland, Oregon. Simon traces his sexual orientation back to the story of the Gladdington Castle curse of 1328, where the King of England, with his dying breath, condemned the entire male lineage of the Reynolds family to become homosexual upon turning 26. He reappeared in Achewood to help his son adjust to the effects of the curse, with relative success, but Pat seems no more accepting of his father than before, instantly criticising him for being a poor representative of the homosexual community. Simon's lover is a man named Marcel.

;Sondra Smuckles: Raymond's mother. Her speech is often peppered with gentle admonitions of her son, advice on manners, and [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01182006 bizarre folk wisdom].

;Syndicate, the: A group of animal entrepreneurs, including Ray Smuckles, Bensington Butters, and AKKOLADE, although there are possibly more. Each member of the group tries to outdo the others by performing more and more outrageous publicity stunts, although there is a fair share of underhanded tricks and pranks as well, in order to shake up opposition.

;The Tenmen: A local three-piece band. Made up of black cats, The Tenmen have played local bars, Ray's parties, and the Great Outdoor Fight. Roast Beef is a huge fan, although Ray, apparently, is not.

;Tina: A cat with whom Ray has an on-again, off-again relationship. For a time, Tina lived with Molly, who considered her to be "the very definition of [[lowest common denominator]]." Tina's birthday is [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03012002 March 2nd], though she'd have [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09262002 another one at September 26th] as far as Ray's concerned.

;Trouble Man and No-No: Two ghastly characters who are the last ones left in Heaven when Roast Beef arrives[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004], everyone else having been consumed by an apartment fire and sent back to earth. They are commissioned by Roast Beef to perform the "murder act" on him in order to return to Earth.

;Todd Todd Todd Todd Todd T. Squirrel: Todd, who died in November 2006, was an illiterate, drug-dealing, often violent squirrel. His illiteracy most likely led him to be one of the few recurring characters to not have a blog. He was also a heavy drug user (and dealer), and has a characteristic stuttering problem. He drove a miniature squirrel-sized [[van]][http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11212001], and was friends with Philippe. He put on some weight during a stint in prison[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01122005] but then lost the weight from having sex [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07192006]. Todd purportedly came into being when a stork dropped a burrito into a volcano[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11292005]. 100 minutes later, Todd emerged, not knowing who he was. The stork, thinking that Todd had eaten the burrito, called Todd an "asshole" and a "jerkwad". Todd took this as an explanation of who he was, and consequently became a jerkwad. He then strangled the stork, whose lifeless body morphed into Todd's van. Todd died after forgetting to store food for the winter because he was busy watching ''America's Funniest Home Videos'' [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11092006]. Todd T Squirrel is mentioned as having died before by being run over by a car in the story arc Ray Goes To Hell [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12222003].

;Ultra Peanut: A young female river otter who comes from [[China]]. [http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03202002 Her English is improving],. She seems to be fond of Philippe, (who Teodor introduced her at a party he hosted) but also somewhat patronizing and amused by his naivete. and has a small [[digital pet]] called Click Robot that dies if it goes to the bathroom too much.

;Uncle (Marion Adonis) Culpepper: Raymond's effete Southern gentleman uncle, likely modeled after a [[Mark Twain]] character type. He visits Ray after losing his fortune in a [[dot-com]] venture, one in which buyers would pay a fee to have their image photomanipulated to make them appear pregnant. He was ostensibly shot by Ray after an altercation over an affair between Culpepper and Tina.[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06042004] [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06012004] Following the incident, it was discovered that [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06072004 it was rather Lie Bot who had been shot], while impersonating Uncle Culpepper, making much of what we know about him suspect.

;Vlad: A robot and [[womanizer]]. He has a strong [[Eastern Europe]]an accent, and is apparently from Poland. Though his current occupation is unknown, he was once proprietor of one of at least three [[Subway (restaurant)|Subway]] sandwich shops in the Achewood underground. He once made a pass at Philippe's mother over the phone. He maintains a friendship with the other robot characters of the strip, and has been known to give advice on women.

;Waterbury: Ray's former butler, hired by Ray based on a suggestion by [[Bono]]'s butler. Born in London and formerly employed by James Brown, he also works for a clandestine British government agency. [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08022004 Discovered Ray's somnambulistic and somnonanistic tendencies.]

;Zell and Cory: Two blind, horribly burned indigents of indeterminable species; one is confined to a wheelchair due to lack of legs while the other seems to be incapable of speaking. They suffered their injuries when the Lakeshore flophouse burned down in 2002. They have mentioned that they collect things, though exactly what it is they collect remains to be seen. It has been suggested that whatever they collect should probably not be placed in one's mouth. They are described as bearing fourth-degree burns from the fire and thus only leave their abandoned railway tunnel home on moonless nights to do their "collecting".

== Bibliography ==
*''Volume I — A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave''
*''Volume II — Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar''
*''Volume III — The Devil's Dictionary''
*''Volume IV — Ten a.m. and Drunk as a Lord''
*''Volume V — An Empty Cup of Rum''
*''Volume VI — The Dude Is From Circumstances''
*''Volume VII - Kiss My Ass, Bitch. I'll Be At Duane's''
*''The Achewood Cookbook''
*''The Achewood Cookbook''
*''Nice Pete's A Wonderful Tale''
*''Nice Pete's A Wonderful Tale''
*''Nice Pete's A Hilarious Comedy'
*''Nice Pete's A Hilarious Comedy''
*''Roast Beef's Man Why You Even Got To Do A Thing, Nos. 1, 2, 3''
*''Roast Beef's Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing, Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6''
*''Current Baby Status''

*''The Collected Achewood Blogs, Vol I, 1–31 July 2004''
== Miscellaneous ==
* Chris Onstad participated in [[Song Fight!]] by creating cover art and title for "What We Need More of is Science", "Red Skates", and "Livin' At The Corner Of Dude And Catastrophe." The first title originated as a Roast Beef expression (but only on merchandise). One Song Fight entry was performed by [http://emeraldrain.com/mycc/ Milwaukee Youth Center Choir], who also wrote and recorded a theme for Ray's Place, Ray's advice column. An entry by [[MC Frontalot]] won the latest Song Fight and is now the current theme song for the comic.

* The geography of [http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01032005 the Achewood Overground] is based on that of the [[Palo Alto, California|Palo Alto]]/[[Stanford, California|Stanford]] area. Dexter University corresponds to [[Stanford University]], Achewood Heights is equivalent to [[Menlo Park, California|Menlo Park]], East Achewood is analogous to [[East Palo Alto, California|East Palo Alto]], and the Achewood Estates/Achewood areas refer to different areas of Palo Alto.

* Achewood is sometimes featured in the [[Stanford Chaparral|Chaparral]], [[Stanford University]]'s humor publication, of which Onstad is an editor emeritus.

* A high quality reproduction of the entire Cartilage Head storyline appears in the first issue of [http://www.beeswaxmagazine.com/index.html Beeswax Magazine]. The second issue of Beeswax features thirty pages of "The Best of Ray's Party Blogs."


=== Published by Dark Horse Comics ===
* A song by the synth-pop band [[Freezepop (band)|Freezepop]] titled "Here Comes a Special Boy" about the character of Philippe can be downloaded from Freezepop's website.[http://www.freezepop.com/news/index.html]
* ''Achewood: The Great Outdoor Fight'' (September 2008)
** Collects strips from January 11, 2006, to March 30, 2006, plus bonus material
* ''Achewood Volume 2: Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar'' (October 2009)
** Collects strips from January 10, 2002, to May 7, 2002, plus "Before We Were Achewood: The Early Experiments" (December 10, 2001 to December 17, 2001) and bonus material
* ''Achewood Volume 3: A Home For Scared People'' (April 2010)
** Collects strips from May 8, 2002, to October 29, 2002, plus "Before We Were Achewood, Concluded" (December 18, 2001 to January 9, 2002) and bonus material


== References ==
* Teodor is a fan of Canadian indie rock band, the Arcade Fire
{{Reflist|colwidth=30em}}


== External links ==
== External links ==
{{Wikiquote}}
* [http://www.achewood.com/ Achewood.com (official site)]
{{Portal|United States|Internet|Comics}}
* [http://achewood.saddestthing.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page Achewiki] — A wiki devoted to Achewood
* {{Official website|http://www.achewood.com/}}
* [http://greatoutdoorfight.com/index.php/Main_Page The Great Outdoor Fight] - A [[fan-fiction]] wiki detailing the [[back-story]] of the Great Outdoor Fight
* [https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94780668 Interview] of Chris Onstad by [[NPR]]
* [http://touamb.com/ Unofficial, unaffiliated fan-based message board]
* [http://webcomicsreview.com/examiner/issue040712/achewood.html A review] of Achewood
* [http://www.comicbookgalaxy.com/101904_review.html Review] of the never-released collection from Checker Books
* [http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php Ray's Place]
* [http://4colorreview.com/2004/08/12/achewood-an-interview-with-chris-onstad An interview with Chris Onstad]
* [http://www.brianmpalmer.com/onstad.htm Interview] at [[Brian M. Palmer]]


[[Category:2000s webcomics]]
[[Category:2000s webcomics]]
[[Category:2001 establishments]]
[[Category:2010s webcomics]]
[[Category:Comedy webcomics]]
[[Category:2001 webcomic debuts]]
[[Category:American comedy webcomics]]
[[Category:Webcomics in print]]
[[Category:Webcomics in print]]
[[Category:Webcomics]]
[[Category:Ignatz Award winners for Outstanding Online Comic]]
[[Category:Comics about anthropomorphic cats]]
[[Category:Comics about anthropomorphic bears]]
[[Category:Comics about anthropomorphic otters]]
[[Category:Comics about anthropomorphic tigers]]
[[Category:Robot comics]]
[[Category:Comics about sentient toys]]
[[Category:Comics about talking animals]]
[[Category:Comics about talking objects]]
[[Category:Furry webcomics]]

Latest revision as of 00:40, 4 January 2025

Achewood
Author(s)Chris Onstad
Websitewww.achewood.com
Current status/scheduleActive[1]
Launch dateOctober 1, 2001[2]
Genre(s)Slice-of-life, surreal humor

Achewood is a webcomic created by Chris Onstad in 2001. It portrays the lives of a group of anthropomorphic stuffed toys, robots, and pets. Many of the characters live together in the home of their owner, Chris, at the fictional address of 62 Achewood Court. The events of the strip mostly take place in and around the house, as well as around the town of Achewood, a fictional suburb.

The comic's humor is usually absurdist, typically lacking a traditional punchline, and sometimes surreal.[3] The strip features many characters with detailed backstories. Many Achewood strips contain some reference to food or drink because the author is a food and cooking enthusiast.[4]

Originally published regularly, the comic began to miss release dates in late 2010. In March 2011, Onstad announced that Achewood would be going on an indefinite hiatus.[5] In November 2011, the comic returned, followed by an announcement in December that the hiatus was over. However, Onstad stated that no regular schedule will be in effect, and new strips have been released sporadically. Onstad indicated in 2013 that he had plans for pitching Achewood as an animated series.[6] No further news came from this, and the comic itself was not updated between April 7, 2014, and December 24, 2015. When the strip returned, it was updated most subsequent Fridays.[7] On December 25, 2016, Onstad announced that the strip would go on another hiatus.[8] In 2023, Onstad resumed producing Achewood, making it available via Patreon.[9][10]

History

[edit]

The first Achewood strip was released on October 1, 2001.[2] The location and the comic were named after an ingredient supposedly used by slaves during the United States's antebellum era that would induce melancholia in the drinker, according to the comic's website.[11]

Throughout Achewood, there is no distinguishable underlying storyline, only the general passing of time and development of the comic's characters and their interrelationships. The characters are mainly developed through one-off strips and short story arcs. There were 46 story arcs from 2002 to 2010. These story arcs are often interrupted with cutaways to the activity of other Achewood characters, which may or may not tie in with the main storyline of the arc. The pages often rely upon strange humor as well as stereotypes, literary and historical references, and an in-depth knowledge of the characters and their interactions.

Most strips include an alt text, a one-sentence aside written in Onstad's voice that appears when the reader hovers the cursor over the strip. The first alt-text was the word snif on Christmas, 2001. The first of the regular full-sentence alt-text appeared on January 2, 2002, apparently excusing a weak strip: "whatever. it was late and a friend was over."

In October 2002, Achewood's "Sunday Edition" became part of the online alternative comics anthology Serializer.[citation needed] In their review of serializer.net, The Comics Journal wrote: "It's a pleasure to see strips like Achewood's 'Sunday' strip ... use the newspaper format for far more daring, entertainingly perverse work ... would be perfectly at home at a good alternative weekly or a great college paper."[citation needed] Achewood is sometimes featured in the Chaparral, Stanford University's humor publication, of which Onstad is a retired editor.[citation needed]

On April 30, 2003, Onstad introduced an advice column written by the character Ray called Ray's Place. The column has developed characters, mainly as perceived by Ray, and allows for readers to interact with the character.

July 2004 saw the introduction of several in-character blogs hosted on Blogger. Onstad stated in an interview that he found the blogs easier to maintain than the strip, as they do not require as much refining.[citation needed]

In late 2004, it was announced that Checker Book Publishing Group was to release a collection of Achewood comics later that year.[12] Checker had signed Chris Onstad to a three-book deal that was to begin in November 2004. However, the deal was cancelled soon after due to creative differences.

On September 10, 2008, Dark Horse Comics published a 104-page extended version of "The Great Outdoor Fight" story arc, with a deleted scene, background material on the fight, and other original content.[citation needed]

Dark Horse subsequently published in October 2009 the first several years of Achewood comics under the title of Achewood Volume Two: Worst Song, Played On Ugliest Guitar, including notes on each strip by Onstad.[13] A third volume, Achewood Volume Three: A Home For Scared People, was published in December 2010 and contains strips up to the end of October 2002.[14]

The arrival of new comics slowed down in late 2010. On March 20, 2011, Onstad posted on his blog that Achewood would be on an indefinite hiatus.[5] Between November 2011, and June 2012, Onstad posted comics on an erratic basis, with up to four comics per month, then resumed regular, weekly new comics from August 2013 to April 7, 2014.

Onstad resumed posting comics on December 24, 2015, with the first new strip in 20 months, and continued to update the site on most subsequent Fridays throughout 2016.[15] On December 25, 2016, Onstad announced that he was "walking away" from the strip and that it would be entering another extended hiatus period.[8]

The webcomic was resumed in 2023, being made available over Patreon.[10]

Major characters

[edit]

Raymond Quentin Smuckles

[edit]

Raymond Quentin "Ray" Smuckles[16] is a somewhat overweight American Curl cat. In the comic, Ray is a financially successful musician after he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for success in pop music. The character is lucky and acquires money in various ways. He tends to throw lots of parties and is generous to his friends, but he has a weakness to gambling and is occasionally rude and insensitive. Ray made his first appearance on January 10, 2002, and has since become a major character in the comic along with Roast Beef. He can be identified by his outfit - designer glasses, a thong, the occasional fur coat, and a gold medallion.

An advice column called Ray's Place is written in character by Ray on the Achewood site.

"Roast Beef" Kazenzakis

[edit]

Roast Beef Kazenzakis is an intersex cat character. His birth name was "Cassandra" [17] and it is unknown where his nickname, "Roast Beef," came from. He serves as one of the main characters of Achewood along with Ray. Roast Beef often serves as a foil to Ray in the strips. He is interested in Unix computer programming, poetry, and he has a wife named Molly Sanders whom he met in Heaven but eventually she came down to Earth to marry him. Despite a difficult childhood marked by poverty and trauma, including his mother killing his father, Beef battles his constant depression and suicidal thoughts. His relationship with Molly has improved his mental state, aided by light therapy. He has been shot four times in the comic.

Roast Beef has written a number of poems, both in the strip and on his in-character blog. A recurrent theme in these involves weapons disguised as food.

Philippe

[edit]

Philippe is an undyingly optimistic and naïve young otter who resides in the house with Cornelius Bear, Lyle and Téodor, as well as Chris and Chris's family. His housemates collectively raised him with varied success,[18] with Téodor acting as a nurturing motherly-type; Lyle as a neglectful big brother, and Mr. Bear as a stern but gentle father. He is separated from his mother, who lives in Ohio, but they talk on the phone frequently, and have a close relationship. His mother occasionally sends him unusual presents. Other than the fact that he is deceased, nothing is known about Philippe's father. He is implied to be of French descent, and to have fought in a war as a youth.

Philippe seems to be perpetually five years old, and celebrates his fifth birthday every year. A strip which revealed the future of the Achewood characters[19] showed that Philippe will still be the same age, even after the other characters grow old and die. He eventually ends up moving back in with this mother, further emphasizing his young age.

His character has inspired music such as a song by the synth-pop band Freezepop titled "Here Comes a Special Boy" and the Song Fight! Entries for "What We Need More Of Is Science" by Brody and Octothorpe are two different versions of the same song about Philippe.[20]

Cornelius Bear

[edit]

Often referred to in the comic as Mr. Bear (and "Connie" by Ray), he is a bear that is a scholarly and fatherly figure to much of the cast, being much older than most of them — he was married to his first (now deceased) wife, Iris Gambol, sometime before 1967. He is characterizied by his love of alcohol, literature, his British mannerisms, and his fine taste. It has also been implied that he has been imprisoned in the past. He is well regarded for having written many different children's books. He wears pince-nez glasses and is usually seen in a dressing gown. The other members of the cast hold him in high regard except for a character named Lyle. He owns a pub named "The Dude and Catastrophe" and is dating a stripper that is half his age.

Lyle Roscoe Gabriel

[edit]

Lyle is a belligerent stuffed tiger who enjoys playing pranks on his friends and drinking. He is a talented calligrapher, cosmetician, and is knowledgeable about cars. Lyle has a mysterious past which caused him to move from Gainesville, Florida, to Achewood. Lyle is often seen drunk due to being more comfortable that way, but is intelligent when sober. He is often seen wearing a t-shirt for the band Misfits in the comic strips. He was previously employed in every position in a kitchen at one point, but now films pornography, usually involving transgender women. Lyle is close friends with the character Todd T. Squirrel, who shares his love of alcohol.

Téodor Orezscu

[edit]

Téodor is a teddy bear. He originates from Minsk, Belarus and is of Jewish descent. He is a skilled cook, musician, and graphic designer, and is also portrayed as being an all around friendly guy. His personality was originally quite crazy, exhibiting nudist tendencies in early Achewood strips, though he seems to have dropped those in later strips. He is also depicted using marijuana and mushrooms. While talented and intelligent, he is often portrayed as lacking motivation and direction except when exercising or cooking. He had an online relationship with a girl named Penny, and eventually it is shown how the relationship ended up. Penny made Téodor the T-emblazoned sweater he wears in the comic, leaving it as a gift for him. While the other stuffed animals of the house treat Philippe as a roommate, Téodor instead fills the role of Philippe's guardian while the otter is separated from his mother. Téodor died in the April 28, 2005 comic strip due to choking on a bottle cap but was revived when Lyle kicked him in the gut. Onstad has claimed that Téodor is similar to him in real life.

Patrick Reynolds

[edit]

Pat is one of the three original cat characters, along with Roast Beef and Ray. His role has receded into the background over the webcomic's runtime, but his is still a notable presence. He is a generally an unpleasant character with a negative attitude and is often the antagonist in many strips. He has high standards for other characters and gets angry when they do not meet them. Pat also seems to look down on various occupations such as barbers and disabled people. He seems to suffer from OCD and anger issues, for which he attends a support group for. He is into Zen Buddhism and veganism to look superior to his friends, but he secretly prefers to eat meat. He was put in jail for shooting the character Roast Beef, but escaped and got off the hook due to Ray's connections. He lives with a serial killer he met in jail named Peter "Nice Pete" Cropes. Pat disowned his father, Simon Reynolds, due to Simon coming out as gay. However, Pat later came out as gay as well due to a family curse and has been dating a gay porn star named Rod Huggins.

Molly Sanders

[edit]

Molly, a cat character, was born in 17th-century Wales. She died in a shipwreck in 1676 and went to Heaven, where she was able to keep up on developments in the living world and became interested in modern technology. Roast Beef first met her in Heaven after Pat shot him. Molly now resides on Earth, living in Ray's pool shed with Roast Beef after her and Roast Beef got married. Roast Beef's lack of social skills means their relationship is often strained, but Molly's patience and tolerance often win out. Molly picked up programming in Heaven, but since she died long before computers and coding were invented she has no official qualifications and was forced to get a job in the service industry. She has held different jobs over the course of the comic, but now works at a Starbucks. She runs an in-universe show named the "Achewood A-List."

Early development of the series

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In the early months of Achewood, the strip takes place entirely at Chris Onstad's house, and the four original characters, Philippe, Téodor, Lyle, and Cornelius Bear, are implied to be essentially trapped there. They are forced to hide from normal people due to being alive stuffed animals, and there is no mention of having jobs, money, or any real responsibilities. After Ray, Roast Beef and Pat are introduced, however, the characters begin to assume more complex personalities and exercise greater independence. The transition from a gag-a-day webcomic to a more involved one happened abruptly during an extended story arc called "The Party," the first of the long-form storylines which would become a staple of Achewood. Subsequent chapters establish more clearly defined relationships between the characters, add additional depth to their personalities, and follow the main cast through other major story arcs.

At the beginning of Achewood, the two main characters, Ray and Roast Beef were background characters. They were a part of a trio of cats, along with Pat, who always appeared together and were known for their vulgar insults. Only Ray and Pat were given names originally. As time passed, Ray and Beef were given more and more panel time, eventually becoming the central characters of the strip, with the original four main characters taking on supporting roles.

Other features

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Chris Onstad has also produced other material within the Achewood 'universe', including:

  • Various blogs written by some of the comic's characters.
  • A zine, Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing, purportedly written by Roast Beef (publication halted since Issue 7).
  • Two novellas by the character Nice Pete.
  • The Achewood Cookbook, aimed mainly at beginners, in which the characters provide recipes and cooking advice. Onstad was frustrated by The French Laundry Cookbook, finding it "essentially useless to any home cook", and wrote his own cookbook aimed at "guys who are just out of college and have one pan and one electric burner". Onstad believed that doing such a task would be entertaining and challenging. Onstad visited a supermarket chain store and bought eggs, ground beef, and mustard, and created around 50 recipes based around them. The book includes recipes for cocktails, Scotch eggs,[21] hot dogs, chicken, orzo, and other foods and drinks. Ray Smuckles presents all of the cocktails. Danielle Maestretti of Utne Reader said that the recipes range in appeal and complexity.[22]
  • A former feature called "Current Kid Status", in which Onstad documented the joys, travails and current events of raising his son. It ran from his son's birth in March 2005, until 27 November 2007. A compendium of these bits has been packaged into a book and is available for purchase at The Achewood Store.
  • The Achewood Store, which includes such items as clothing, cookbooks, aprons, glasses and other assorted goods.
  • A Twitter page, once featuring tweets about the daily activities of the Achewood characters, but now focusing on the life of Onstad himself.[23]

Reception

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As of April 10, 2007, Achewood received about ten million page views monthly. James Norton of Salon.com said that the "well-developed cast of characters, many of whom just happen to be seriously into good food" get the attention of the audience.[21]

Awards

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On September 12, 2007, Achewood was named "Funniest Webcomic" by humour website Cracked.com.[24]

Achewood received the Ignatz Award in 2007 and 2008 for Outstanding Online Comic.[25][26]

Time magazine's Lev Grossman named it number one on its list of the top 10 graphic novels of 2007.[27]

In November 2009, Achewood was named one of the best comics of the '00s by The A.V. Club.[28]

In November 2019, Achewood ranked #14 on Rolling Stone's list of "The 50 Best Non-Superhero Graphic Novels".[29]

Achewood has been nominated for multiple Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards:

Author

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Chris Onstad was born June 14, 1975, in California and grew up in a small town near Sonora, in the Sierra foothills. Onstad attended Stanford University, where he edited the Stanford Chaparral humor magazine. Onstad has published several books: nine anthologies of Achewood comics; a humorous cookbook featuring recipes purportedly invented by the strip's characters; A Wonderful Tale, a book written from the perspective of a character from the strip; and that same character's second novel A Hilarious Comedy. He has also published six editions of Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing, an Achewood-centric zine.

Onstad reveals little of his private life online, but it is known that he currently lives in Portland, Oregon. Chris and his first wife have a son, born in 2005. Onstad formerly had a section on his website about his son, titled "current kid status," which he updated regularly with stories and happenings. These are collected in the self-published book Current Baby Status – The Collected Archive. In a February 23, 2012, interview with The Believer Onstad revealed that he had divorced from his wife.[34]

Chris Onstad has self-published sixteen books: seven collections of Achewood comics, two books by character Nice Pete (A Wonderful Tale and A Hilarious Comedy), six 'zines by another named Roast Beef, and Recipes for a Lady or a Man: The Achewood Cookbook with recipes from several of the main characters. A second cookbook, titled You Can't Put Cream Sauce on the Truth, The Achewood Cookbook Vol 2" was published in 2022.

In September 2013, Onstad launched a new business, Portland Soda Works.[35]

In September 2024, Onstad remarried.

Influences

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Onstad remarked in an interview that "You can't help but be affected by Mark Twain books, Lay's Potato Chip ads, a fat lady who is yelling outside, David Letterman, etc."[36] And elsewhere, to Brian M. Palmer, "The reader would likely be a better judge." He has expressed admiration for Chris Ware and Tony Millionaire. He has also claimed to be influenced by "Bryson, Barry, Twain, Elton, Wodehouse, Adams, Vonnegut, John Irving, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jack Handey, Al Franken, that sort of thing. Those sorts of guys. Tina Fey. Aaron Sorkin."[37]

In another interview with Brian Palmer, he professed his admiration for the British comedy show Look Around You and also stated, "I haven't seen anything that tops Mr. Show."

In regards to the influence of the culinary culture, Onstad said that he always enjoyed eating food. Onstad said that when he met his first wife, she was "a bit more of a cook" than he was; she had traveled to Italy to study abroad. Since he was, in his words, "mostly omnivorous" and she is a vegetarian, the two have to find food that can appeal to both of them. Onstad added that he is "competitive" and aims to "do a good job with these things and impress people." In addition, since Onstad's wife was an employee of Williams Sonoma, the two received discounted high end cookware that they normally would not have bought.[21] On January 27, 2012, it was announced that Onstad would be the new food critic for the Portland Mercury.[38]

Bibliography

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Self-published

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  • Volume I – A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave
  • Volume II – Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar
  • Volume III – The Devil's Dictionary
  • Volume IV – Ten A.M. and Drunk as a Lord
  • Volume V – An Empty Cup of Rum
  • Volume VI – The Dude Is from Circumstances
  • Volume VII – Kiss My Ass, Bitch. I'll Be at Duane's
  • Volume VIII – Emergency Party At My Place
  • Volume IX – Soured on Beer and Given to Claims
  • The Achewood Cookbook
  • Nice Pete's A Wonderful Tale
  • Nice Pete's A Hilarious Comedy
  • Roast Beef's Man Why You Even Got to Do a Thing, Nos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6
  • Current Baby Status
  • The Collected Achewood Blogs, Vol I, 1–31 July 2004

Published by Dark Horse Comics

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  • Achewood: The Great Outdoor Fight (September 2008)
    • Collects strips from January 11, 2006, to March 30, 2006, plus bonus material
  • Achewood Volume 2: Worst Song, Played on Ugliest Guitar (October 2009)
    • Collects strips from January 10, 2002, to May 7, 2002, plus "Before We Were Achewood: The Early Experiments" (December 10, 2001 to December 17, 2001) and bonus material
  • Achewood Volume 3: A Home For Scared People (April 2010)
    • Collects strips from May 8, 2002, to October 29, 2002, plus "Before We Were Achewood, Concluded" (December 18, 2001 to January 9, 2002) and bonus material

References

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  1. ^ "Achewood is back, and it's weirder than ever". 8 May 2023.
  2. ^ a b "Philippe is standing on it". achewood.com. 2001-10-01. Retrieved 2024-02-09.
  3. ^ "SparkLife: SparkTalk". Sparknotes. 27 June 2008. Archived from the original on 13 September 2008. Retrieved 2008-11-02.
  4. ^ Norton, James (2007-04-10). "Chow down, dude". Salon. Retrieved 2024-02-09.
  5. ^ a b "Hiatus, Explained Tenderly and with a Great Gentleness". March 20, 2011. Chris Onstad's blog.
  6. ^ Colter, Aaron. "Achewood Webcomic May Become Animated TV Show". Wired. ISSN 1059-1028. Retrieved 2025-01-03.
  7. ^ "Comics Alliance: Everyone Be Very Quiet: 'Achewood' Has Returned Three Weeks In A Row And We Don't Want To Scare It Off". 2016-01-08. Archived from the original on 2016-01-09. Retrieved 2016-01-10.
  8. ^ a b Sims, Chris (27 December 2016). "Chris Onstad Walks Away From 'Achewood'". Comics Alliance. Retrieved 4 January 2017.
  9. ^ Rivera, Joshua (2023-05-09). "Cult webcomic Achewood is back, and bringing AI with it". Polygon. Retrieved 2024-02-09.
  10. ^ a b Lopatto, Elizabeth (2023-05-08). "Achewood is back, and it's weirder than ever". The Verge. Retrieved 2024-02-09.
  11. ^ "Achewood – Moonshine Neuroretarder". Achewood.com. Archived from the original on 4 November 2008. Retrieved 2008-11-02.
  12. ^ Perigar, Mark A. (13 August 2004). "Checker-ed Past; Publisher keeps vintage, beloved works in print". The Boston Herald. The Edge; Pg. e35
  13. ^ Achewood Volume 2: Worst Song, Played On Ugliest Guitar: Amazon.ca: Chris Onstad: Books. 2009-10-21. ASIN 1595822399.
  14. ^ Onstad, Chris (2010). Achewood Volume 3: A Home for Scared People: Amazon.cm: Chris Onstad: Books. Dark Horse Books. ISBN 978-1595824509.
  15. ^ O'Neil, Tim (17 May 2016). "Achewood returns neurotic as ever after all these years". The A.V. Club.
  16. ^ Ray's Baseball Card, June 25, 2007, Achewood
  17. ^ Beef's Real Name, December 2, 2002, Achewood
  18. ^ King Piss!, October 19, 2005, Achewood
  19. ^ The Future, October 2, 2007, Achewood
  20. ^ Song Fight! (11 August 2008). "What We Need More Of Is Science – Songfight Archives". www.songfight.org. Archived from the original on 14 September 2008. Retrieved 2008-11-02. Alt URL
  21. ^ a b c Norton, James. "Chow down, dude." Salon. Tuesday April 10, 2007. Retrieved on July 23, 2011.
  22. ^ "From the Stacks: April 20, 2007". Utne Reader. April 20, 2007. Retrieved on July 23, 2011.
  23. ^ Twitter / achewood
  24. ^ Swaim, Mike (2007-10-12). "The 8 Funniest Webcomics". cracked.com. Archived from the original on October 11, 2007. Retrieved 2007-11-30.
  25. ^ "2007 Ignatz Awards". 1 October 2007. Archived from the original on 2008-06-01. Retrieved 2008-10-14.
  26. ^ "2008 Ignatz Awards". 4 October 2008. Retrieved 2011-11-07.
  27. ^ Grossman, Lev (2007). "Top 10 Graphic Novels." Time. Retrieved on 6 November 2008.
  28. ^ The A.V. Club. "Top Comics of the 00s." Retrieved on 30 November 2009.
  29. ^ Gross, Joe (2019-11-16). "The 50 Best Non-Superhero Graphic Novels". Rolling Stone. Retrieved 2023-09-11.
  30. ^ "2004 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards". Archived from the original on 28 March 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-30.
  31. ^ "2005 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards". Archived from the original on 4 March 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-30.
  32. ^ "2006 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards Online Ceremony". Archived from the original on 25 March 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-30.
  33. ^ "2008 Web Cartoonists' Choice Awards". 8 March 2008. Archived from the original on 30 March 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-30.
  34. ^ Martin, Joseph. "Interview with Chris Onstad by Joseph Martin (part)".
  35. ^ "Portland Soda Works | Portland Soda Works". Archived from the original on 2015-04-13. Retrieved 2015-04-13.
  36. ^ "Search for "Onstad" at critiquemagazine.com". Archived from the original on December 30, 2005.
  37. ^ "Interview with Chris Onstad ~ Achewood". La Taco. 2007-05-30. Retrieved 2010-02-19.
  38. ^ DeJesus, Erin (January 27, 2012). "Achewood's Chris Onstad Named Mercury Food Critic." Eater (PDX.Eater.com). Retrieved June 8, 2019.
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