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Revision as of 10:58, 17 August 2023
GA Review
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Reviewer: SpaceEconomist192 (talk · contribs) 09:35, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Discussion
@Krisgabwoosh: Hello, long time no see! Just to let you know that the review is done and the article is on hold. SpaceEconomist192 ✐ 10:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead section
- Add wikilink to «trade unionist» in
...Bolivian politician and trade unionist...
- «La Paz» → La Paz Department. La Paz might confuse the readers into thinking that it refers to the city instead of the department.
- Add wikilink to «Cairoma Municipal».
- Was Patricia independent or was she representing a party when she was a member of the Chamber of Deputies? It does state in the following sentence that she is a member of MAS-IPSP, but it makes it seem like it was only during her time serving the Cairoma Municipal Council.
- Remove wikilink from «trade unionism» in
...Mancilla played an active role in regional trade unionism...
- It would be good to add that the Bartolina Sisa Confederation is a peasant women trade union. I suggest something like this, «...holding positions throughout the 1990s within the Bartolina Sisa Confederation, an agrarian and women trade union».
...held positions within the party's internal structure.
Any prominent position she held?She was elected to a seat in the Chamber of Deputies in 2009, representing the La Paz Department.
This doesn't seem to add anything new to what was already said in the opening paragraph. I suggest its removal.
Early life and carrer
Early life and education
- It should be stated in this section that the Araca Valley is within Asiento Araca, otherwise this sentence,
The predominantly Aymara-populated Araca Valley...
is confusing for the reader. - «precluded» → prevented
- What is popular communication? Is it possible to add a wikilink to that?
Career and trade unionism
- Add wikilink to «Loayza Province».
Chamber of Deputies
Election
- Here're some suggestions for a more accessible and plain English: «forayed into» → entered; «myriad» → multiple; «engulfed» → overwhelmed; «squabbles» → arguments; «hemorrhaging» →
hemorrhaging; «fledgling» → new; «culminated» → resulted. - The abbreviation given in the parenthesis for the Movement for Socialism is MAS-IPSP, all instances of MAS should be replaced with the full abbreviation.
Tenure
- The above suggestion should also be applied here.
...antiquated Penal Code...
shouldn't the red link be only on «Penal Code»?
Commission assignments
- Everything looks good.
Electoral history
- Everything looks good.
Reference check
- All references number are of this version.
- Checked reference #3, #6, #10, #16, #17 and #18.
- I got an «access denied» message when trying to enter source #22 and #23. Can the nominator transclude the content to my sandbox? Thanks.
- It is stated that source #16 is in Spanish, yet its written in English.
Copyvio check
- Earwig's Copyvio Detector points to 12.3% (all sources, expect two, are in Spanish).
Images check
- Checked image, it has an appropriate copyright status, it's relevant and it has a suitable caption.