Lewis Grizzard

Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr. (b. October 20 1946, Fort Benning, Georgia - d. March 20 1994) was an American writer and humorist, famous for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American south. Although he spent the early career as a newspaper writer and editor, becoming sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

He also published twenty-five books, including If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground, I Haven’t Understood Anything since 1962, and Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night and was a popular stand-up comedian. Although much of his comedy discussed the South and Grizzard’s life, it was also a commentary on issues prevalent throughout America, including divorce, politics, and health. Lewis Grizzard was the stepbrother of Southern humorist Ludlow Porch.

Biography

Grizzard's father Lewis Grizzard Sr., a soldier in the United States Army, left his mother Christine, a school teacher, when Lewis was young and they moved to Moreland, Georgia, where Lewis would spend the rest of his childhood. Grizzard would recount his often frustrating relationship with his father in My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun. He began his writing early, publishing stories of his little league team in the Newnan Times-Herald.

Grizzard attended the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia. He was a member of Sigma Pi Fraternity and during his time in Athens became an avid Bulldogs fan. He studied journalism but shunned the school newspaper in favor of the independent Athens Daily News. After graduating, Grizzard moved on to Atlanta, joining the Atlanta Journal and becoming the youngest ever executive sports editor of the Journal by age 23. Executive Journal editor Jim Minter said that had Grizzard stayed there, he would be remembered today as one of the great newspaper editors of the 20th century. His time there included the Marshall University football team tragedy and the Journal's coverage of Hank Aaron's 715th home run.

Grizzard then became executive sports editor at the Chicago Sun Times. He would later recall this as the most miserable period of his life. His tenure included a controversy involving the spiking of columns by Lacey Banks, which resulted in charges of racism and the firing of Banks. Although the paper supported Grizzard, a federal arbitrator reinstated Banks and criticized Grizzard as "racially insensitive". Grizzard, for his part, contended that the arbitrator did not understand the newspaper business and pointed out that he had replaced Banks with Thom Greer, a writer who was also black; Grizzard felt this invalidated any charge of racism. He felt that he had been pronounced "guilty by geography". Grizzard was also divorced for the second time while in Chicago. Grizzard's career as a newspaper man is recalled in his auto-biographical If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.

In 1977, Grizzard returned to Atlanta as a columnist for the sport section of the Atlanta Constitution. After eight months, he switched to writing the humor column which would eventually make him internationally famous and beloved in the South. At his peak, he was syndicated in 450 newspapers and making regular appearances on television and the stand-up circuit. His popularity in Atlanta was such that the alternative newspaper Creative Loafing, in its annual "Best of Atlanta" poll, included the categories "Best Columnist" and "Best Columnist besides Lewis Grizzard".

Grizzard often drew criticism for his disparaging remarks about gays and feminists. And his dislike for the New South and reflections on the Old South of his youth were frequently misinterpreted. Nevertheless, he was extremely popular in the South and had enduring popularity across the nation because of the humor, humanity, patriotism and old-fashioned values that purveyed his writing. His frequent bewilderment by the modern age stuck a chord with many baby boom readers. Grizzard famously refused to use computers, writing every column on an antique typewriter ("When I write, I like to hear some noise").

In 1988, Grizzard made his acting debut on the sitcom Designing Women, in the episode "Oh Brother," which first aired on January 18. Grizzard played the role of Clayton Sugarbaker, half-brother to Julia and Suzanne Sugarbaker, a former mental patient aspiring to be a stand-up comedian.

Grizzard was famous for having a somewhat troubled life, battling alcoholism and going through three divorces. He was voted "The Author From Hell" at publishing convention for his behaviour on book tours. He also suffered from a congenital heart defect. In his own words, "There are three little leaflets that control the flow of blood to the heart. I was born with only two of those leaflets. It was just after the Great War, so there may have been a shortage. Either that or my daddy didn't get a good toe-hold." His near-death after a third valve replacement surgery in 1993 brought in over 50,000 letters from well-wishers. He later attributed his miraculous recovery to the prayers of his fans.

Shortly after marrying for the fourth time, he died from a heart attack after another valve surgery. Grizzard suffered brain damage, according to one report, from lack of oxygen to the brain, had he survived, he would have been noticeably impaired. In accordance with his wishes, he was cremated and some of his ashes were scattered at the 50-yard line of Sanford Stadium at the University of Georgia.

Published works

• Kathy Sue Loudermilk, I Love You: A Good Beer Joint Is Hard to Find and Other Facts of Life (1 December 1979) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• Won't You Come Home, Billy Bob Bailey?: An Assortment of Home-Cooked Journalism for People Who Wonder Why Clean Underwear Doesn't Grow on Trees (1 November 1980) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• Glory! Glory! Georgia's 1980 Championship Season: The Inside Story (1981) (Loran Smith with Lewis Grizzard)
• Don't Sit Under The Grits Tree With Anyone Else But Me (1 November 1981) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat (1 October 1982)
• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About A Quart Low (1 October 1983)
• Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself (1 October 1984)
• Shoot Low Boys - They're Riding Shetland Ponies (1 October 1985)
• My Daddy Was A Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun (1 October 1986)
• When My Love Returns From The Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care? (1 October 1987) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• Don't Bend Over In the Garden, Granny - You Know Them Taters Got Eyes (1 October 1988)
• Lewis Grizzard on Fear of Flying (1 April 1989)
• Lewis Grizzard's Advice To The Newly Wed . . . & the Newly Divorced (1 April 1989)
• Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night (1 September 1989) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• Does A Wild Bear Chip In The Woods? (1 May 1990)
• If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground (1 October 1990)
• Don't Forget To Call Your Momma; I Wish I Could Call Mine (1 April 1991)
• You Can't Put No Boogie Woogie On The King of Rock and Roll (1 October 1991) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962 and Other Nekkid Truths (1 October 1992)
• I Took A Lickin' and Kept on Tickin' and Now I Believe In Miracles (1 January 1994)

Posthumous collections

• The Last Bus To Albuquerque (1 September 1994) (Collection of previously published Atlanta Journal-Constitution columns)
• It Wasn't Always Easy But I Sure Had Fun (1 November 1994) (Collection of previously published material)
• Life Is Like a Dogsled Team . . . : If You're Not the Lead Dog, the Scenery Never Changes--The Wit and Wisdom of Lewis Grizzard (1 May 1995) (Collection of previously published material)
• Grizzardisms: The Wit and Wisdom of Lewis Grizzard (1 June 1995) (Collection of previously published material)
• Southern By The Grace of God - Lewis Grizzard on the South (1 May 1996) (Collection of previously published material)

Live comedy albums

• On The Road With Lewis Grizzard (1985)
• Live! (From Moreland to Moscow) (1986)
• Let's Have A Party! With Lewis Grizzard (1987)
• Addicted to Love (Live) (1989)
• Don't Believe I'da Told That (1991)
• The Best of Lewis Grizzard (1994) (Collection of previously released material)
• One Last Time (1994)
• Alimony: The Bill You Get, for the Thrill You Got (1994)
• Lewis Grizzard (2001) (Collection of previously released material)
• An Evening with Lewis Grizzard (2001) (DVD)

Lewis Grizzard quotes

"Life is like a dogsled team, If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes" "You ain't from around here, are you? Don't lie and say you're from Florida, that accent says New Jersey."

"I am the only person in the history of Moreland, Georgia to ever be on the New York Times' Best Seller list. I'm the only person in the history of Moreland, Georgia who ever heard of the New York Times' Best Seller list."

"Real estate agents are God's plague on mankind when locusts are out of season."

Lewis’ advice to Atlantans in case of nuclear war: "If you live on the South side of Atlanta, get on I-75 and go south. If you live of the North side of Atlanta get on I-75 and go north. If you are a Yankee get on 285." (For those of you not familiar with Atlanta highways, I-285 is a loop or beltway around the city)

"The most effective form of birth control known to man is a Bronx accent."

"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato."

Grizzard also remarked that being a newspaper columnist was much different than being a reporter(or, as he put it, a newspaperman); the main difference, Grizzard said, was that a columnist was free to make things up if they so wished, while a reporter had to stick to facts. In If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground, Grizzard gave a partial list of falsehoods he'd written in his columns, including:

• Jerry Falwell runs rabbits.
• Bugs Bunny is gay.
• Nobody actually lives in North Dakota.
• Elvis Presley actually IS alive.

References

• Chuck Perry. Don't Fence Me in: An Anecdotal Biography of Lewis Grizzard. 1995.

External links

• The Official Lewis Grizzard Website
• Lewis Grizzard columns
• The Lewis Grizzard Museum
• Georgia Encyclopedia entry on Lewis Grizzard
• 1986 audio interview with Lewis Grizzard by Don Swaim of CBS Radio, RealAudio