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-Warning! This is for stupid people only that want to kill <del>themselves</del>. This is instructions on how to skateboard. You may need to get insurance before you try this. When you are trying to do this stuff you will need a helmet, skateboard, ramps, and a grinding rail.
-        To start out, I will sow you where to stand, how to balance, and how to stop on a skateboard. I put one foot on the very back of the skateboard and the other foot behind the second set of bolts. I push with whatever foot I feel most comfortable with. When I was riding down the street, I kept the right stance and bent my knees. When I was going fast I pushed down on my back foot and lifted up on my front foot. Another way I stop is to just jump off and put one foot on the skateboard to stop it. Then, to show the last way to stop is I put my back foot in the middle of the skateboard, and my front foot on the ground and let myself slow down. Then I got into the stance, pushed a few times, and bent my knees. After I was going pretty fast, I pushed down on my back foot and lifted up on my front foot and slowly came to a stop.
-         Now I will show you how to do manuals and ollies. A manual is when you push down slightly on your front foot. I put my arms out like I was walking across the tight rope at the circus. I moved your my legs/knees, and arms to keep my balance. You can also call a manual a wheelie but you probably wont hear much people call it a wheelie. To do an ollie, I got into my stance and bent my knees. After I bent my knees, I started to go up and I pushed down on my back foot as hard and fast as I can so the tail smacks the ground. Then a split second after I smacked the ground, I slid my front foot up the skateboard. While I was sliding my front foot up, I lifted my back foot (the one that I made the skateboard hit the ground with) up as I as you can. When I practice this fast motion a lot, I can just try smacking the ground and try lifting my legs up as high as I can and I will automatically get the sliding and lifting motion with out thinking. Once you get good at ollieing, gradually move your front foot back, eventually to the middle of the board. After you learn how to ollie good, it should look like a dolphin jumping or a wave. Once you learn how to ollie, you can also teach yourself how to do flip tricks, grab tricks, and spin tricks.
-         The last thing I will show you is how to grind and slide. A grind is when the trucks of your skateboard slides on a ledge or rail. A slide is when anything but the trucks are sliding on a ledge or rail. A frontside (FS) grind is when your face is facing the rail and a backside grind is when your butt is facing the rail. Different people will feel more comfortable with FS or BS for different grinds and slides. The first slide you should is the boardslide. A boardslide is when the middle of the bottom slides on a rail. I ride beside the rail going pretty fast. I ollie and turn my body 90 degrees so the bottom of the middle of the skateboard slides along the rail. When I was coming off I turn my body 90 degrees again either way so I keep on riding. A 50-50 grind is when both of the trucks are grinding on the rail. I go fast beside a rail, ollie, and push my legs toward the rail. I then use my legs to pull my body on top of the skateboard. When I am grinding, I keep my feet in the middle of the board so I don't loose my balance and fall. When I am coming off, with my feet centered, I do a manual kind of and do a little jump. After many times of practice you should get it. I am still working on the 50-50 grind right now. A 5-0 grind is when you ollie up onto the rail just like a 50-50 grind but grind on your back truck. You push down on your back foot and lift up on your font foot. It is just like doing a manual while doing a 50-50 grind. You come off the same way too. A nosegrind is the same thing as a 50-50 except you grind on your front truck. I don't know how to do this, so don't ask me."
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-        Congratulations! Now you know how to skateboard. This is in chronological order so you do Step 1 until you can do it. Then Step 2 and so on. So go grab your skateboard, grinding rail, ramps, and a helmet or hat. (I prefer a hat) Be creative. Put a ramp and then a rail and then another ramp, ollie down stairs, grind down handrails. Now go kill yourself!