Jump to content

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Red-backed Fairy-wren: Difference between revisions

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Content deleted Content added
m OK Giggy, happy with this?
Comment
Line 30: Line 30:
That's just from the lead. ''[[user:giggy|giggy]]'' <sub>([[user talk:giggy|:O]])</sub> 10:42, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
That's just from the lead. ''[[user:giggy|giggy]]'' <sub>([[user talk:giggy|:O]])</sub> 10:42, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
::<s>Right, you'll get yours</s> thankyou for the constructive comments, keep 'em coming. Cheers, [[User:Casliber|Casliber]] ([[User talk:Casliber|talk]] '''·''' [[Special:Contributions/Casliber|contribs]]) 13:01, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
::<s>Right, you'll get yours</s> thankyou for the constructive comments, keep 'em coming. Cheers, [[User:Casliber|Casliber]] ([[User talk:Casliber|talk]] '''·''' [[Special:Contributions/Casliber|contribs]]) 13:01, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

*'''comment''' Interesting read, nice range map ;), couple of items [[User:Gnangarra|Gnan]][[User_talk:Gnangarra|garra]] 10:23, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
:#the lead with two long paras maybe break it into 3 or 4 for ease of reading.
:#this subspecies section, ''hybrid from a broad hybrid zone in North Queensland. Here, in an area bounded by the Burdekin,'' is difficult prose also the sentence starting ''Here'' has 6 comma's?
:#Also in the predator section why no taxonomical name on goannas when when all other identified predators are?

Revision as of 10:23, 19 June 2008

I'm nominating this article for featured article because I feel it meets the criteria. As far as I know, I have scoured all published material so it meets comprehensiveness. I feel the prose has been massaged to a point that it is the equal of other Featured Articles, the image has a suitable licence and the referencing is formatted correctly. I will attempt to address any issues highlighted. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:52, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Current ref 20 Webster, MS Varian CW et al is lacking a journal title, and page numbers and volume and issue number
Otherwise sources look good. Links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:41, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Got it. Some formatting glitches. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:59, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I fixed these, couldn't see any others jimfbleak (talk) 16:44, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support Comment (note that I reviewed this at GA, so possible CoI)
  1. Two alongs and two brightly coloured in the opening sentence (done both)
  2. preferring moist grassy areas. It prefers wet, grassy tropical or sub-tropical areas more repetition (gosh, how did I miss that one? done)
  3. It is sedentary and locally nomadic, and leaves its territory after breeding season. This is confusing, nomadic, leaves territory, but sedentary?? (tricky - the point i am trying to make is that the species doesn't migrate as such, but that large changes in vegetation cover by season and bushfire cause it to be locally nomadic (move around a bit) in northern Australia, often after breeding. You're welcome to have a play to word it beter or I can tweak later if yuo still find it clunky. either way is cool)
Have a look and see if you are happy with tweak jimfbleak (talk) 10:19, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Yes - describes it exactly. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:23, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. IUCN species page shouldn't be an external link since it is also used as a reference. (done)
jimfbleak (talk) 06:04, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in the fairy-wren family Maluridae." - could this be reworded... perhaps "in the Maluridae family of fairy-wrens"?

(This is the sort of thing that has yo-yo'ed back and forth. Essentially, the Fairy-wren family is the Maluridae and vice versa. I have had it the other way (i.e. the Maluridae fairy-wren family) and been asked to swap it to this way. Saying it over in my head a few times I feel it is emphasised better this way, in essence saying "fairy-wren family (which is known as) Maluridae" )

Hmm... I dunno, it's not as clear to me (or someone who's never heard of Maluridae, etc.) this way. Perhaps if you use a few more words to make it clear that fairy-wren is Maluridae? I dunno... I'm just not a fan of the current wording. giggy (:O) 23:35, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
OK, it is worded as simply Maluridae family in 3 other FAs, so I have left it like that as fairy-wren can be linked a bit further down. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:21, 19 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is endemic to Australia and can be found near rivers and coastal areas along the northern and eastern coastlines of Australia" - the 2nd Australia could be "the country" or something like that.
(Actually easier just to remove that 2nd one. How'd I miss that one?)

That's just from the lead. giggy (:O) 10:42, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Right, you'll get yours thankyou for the constructive comments, keep 'em coming. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:01, 18 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. the lead with two long paras maybe break it into 3 or 4 for ease of reading.
  2. this subspecies section, hybrid from a broad hybrid zone in North Queensland. Here, in an area bounded by the Burdekin, is difficult prose also the sentence starting Here has 6 comma's?
  3. Also in the predator section why no taxonomical name on goannas when when all other identified predators are?