Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ian Johnson (cricketer): Difference between revisions
Content deleted Content added
→Ian Johnson (cricketer): comments |
commenting |
||
| Line 16: | Line 16: | ||
*"he retired from all forms of cricket aged 39." -> "he retired from all forms of cricket at age 39." |
*"he retired from all forms of cricket aged 39." -> "he retired from all forms of cricket at age 39." |
||
Prose doesn't look bad in general. [[User:Nousernamesleft|Nousernamesleft]] ([[User talk:Nousernamesleft|talk]]) 16:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC) |
Prose doesn't look bad in general. [[User:Nousernamesleft|Nousernamesleft]] ([[User talk:Nousernamesleft|talk]]) 16:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC) |
||
* '''Comment''' For units like "(5 ft 9+1⁄2 in)", could it be changed to 5 ft 9.5 in)? Easier for everyone, especially those who can't type those units, etc. <font face="Verdana">[[User:Gary King|<font color="#02e">Gary</font> <font color="#02b"><b>King</b></font>]] ([[User talk:Gary King|<font color="#02e">talk</font>]])</font> 17:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC) |
|||
Revision as of 17:26, 4 July 2008
| Toolbox |
|---|
I believe this article—part of a Featured Topic drive focusing on the Australian cricket team in England in 1948—meets the featured article criteria. The article has had a peer review and is fully and widely referenced, comprehensive and written from a neutral point of view. This is a self-nomination. Mattinbgn\talk 12:48, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments - sources look good, links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:54, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- "He captained the Australian team in 17 Tests, winning 7 and losing 5." - you should explain this, since what I first thought when seeing it was, "But 7+5=12, not 17." Are there draws?
- "Despite this record, his term as national captain was best known for the loss..." -> "Despite this record he was best known as the captain who lost...", less confusing.
- "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut, aged 17, for Victoria in..." -> "Johnson made his first-class cricket debut at age 17 for Victoria in..."
- "The tour of the West Indies later that season was a cricketing and diplomatic triumph for Johnson; the Australians winning the series comfortably while avoiding the disturbances surrounding the visit to the islands by the English 12 months earlier." - this just sounds rather... awkward. Could you rephrase it?
- "he retired from all forms of cricket aged 39." -> "he retired from all forms of cricket at age 39."
Prose doesn't look bad in general. Nousernamesleft (talk) 16:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
- Comment For units like "(5 ft 9+1⁄2 in)", could it be changed to 5 ft 9.5 in)? Easier for everyone, especially those who can't type those units, etc. Gary King (talk) 17:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC)