Sorry, I've Got No Head

Sorry, I've Got No Head is a BBC children's comedy sketch show. The same cast constantly reappear as different characters. They are Will Andrews, David Armand, James Bachman, Marcus Brigstocke, Anna Crilly, Justin Edwards, Mark Evans, Mel Giedroyc, Marek Larwood, Nick Mohammed,

Regular Cast

• Will Andrews
• David Armand
• James Bachman
• Marcus Brigstocke
• Anna Crilly
• Justin Edwards
• Mark Evans
• Mel Giedroyc
• Marek Larwood
• Nick Mohammed

Characters

Alf
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Retired
Sketch: Old Men
Location: Unknown

Bee
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Bee
Sketch: Bee
Location: Unknown

Bert
Played By: Unknown
Occupation: Retired
Sketch: Old Men
Location: Unknown

Bill
Played By: Unknown
Occupation: Unknown
Sketch: Bill
Location: Unknown

Billy
Played By: Marek Larwood
Occupation: Imaginary Friend
Sketch: Imaginary Friend
Location: Unknown

Jim Bluebeard
Played By: David Armand
Occupation: Student
Sketch: The Bluebeards
Location: Smuggler's Island

Mr Bluebeard
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Pirate
Sketch: The Bluebeards
Location: Smuggler's Island

Mrs Bluebeard
Played By: Mel Giedroyc
Occupation: Pirate
Sketch: The Bluebeards
Location: Smuggler's Island

Harry Bold
Played By; Marcus Brigstocke
Occupation: Adventurer
Sketch: Harry Bold
Location: Unknown

Brunthilda
Played By: Anna Crilly
Occupation: Viking
Sketch: The Vikings
Location: Unknown

Cook
Played By: Anna Crilly
Occupation: Cook
Sketch: Cook
Location: Unknown

Valerie Carpinter
Played By: Anna Crilly
Occupation: Teacher
Sketch: North Barasay
Location: North Barasay, Scotland

Lieutenant Dawson
Played By: Anna Crilly
Occupation: Student
Sketch: The Bluebeards
Location: Smuggler's Island

Doccumentary Maker
Played By: Mel Giedroyc
Occupation: Doccumentary Maker
Sketch: North Barasay
Location: North Barasay, Scotland

Emily Forest
Played By: Mel Giedroyc
Occupatiom: Auditionee
Sketch: Auditionees
Location: London

Grunbendior the Magnificent
Played By: Will Andrews
Occupation: Wizard
Sketch: Wizard
Location: Unknown

Jasmine
Played By: Marcus Brigstocke
Occupation: Old Lady
Sketch: Old Ladies
Location: Unknown

Max
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Unknown (Possibly Student)
Sketch: Imaginary Friend
Location: Unknown

Monty Forest
Played By: Marcus Brigstocke
Occupation: Auditionee
Sketch: Auditionees
Location: London

Mummy
Played By: Mel Giedroyc
Occupation: Housewife / Inventor
Sketch: Beating the School Run
Location: Unknown

Olaf
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Viking
Sketch: The Vikings
Location: Unknown

Prudith
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Old Lady
Sketch: Old Ladies
Location: Unknown

Lieutenant Richards
Played By: Justin Edwards
Occupation: Student
Sketch: The Bluebeards
Location: Smuggler's Island

Ben Rokesman
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Gogh
Sketch: Gogh
Location: Unknown

Ross
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Student
Sketch: North Barasay
Location: North Barasay, Scotland

Steve
Played By: James Bachman
Occupation: Unknown (Possibly Scientist)
Sketch: Time Machine
Location: Unknown

Susan
Played By: Anna Crilly
Occupation: Unknown
Sketch: Bill
Location: Unknown

Timmy
Played By: David Armand
Occupation: Student
Sketch: Beating the School Run
location: Unknown

Tony
Played By: Justin Edwards
Occupation: Unknown
Sketch: Bill
Location: Unknown

Witchhunter
Played By: David Armand
Occupation: Witchhunter
Sketch: Witchhunter General
Location: Croydon

Sketches

The Vikings A group of vikings that sit in a room and play with various items with which they are not familiar. These items vary from modern things such as balloons to simply foreign ones like a cuckoo clock. With every object, the Vikings (who are supposed to be fearsome) are scared and jump in fright.

North Barassay A documentary about a school on the small Scottish island of North Barasay. The documentary follows the schools one and only teacher and her one and stupid student, Ross, who continue with regular school activities such as a disco or sports day, completely oblivious to the fact they are generally impossible with only one student.

Wizard An elderly wizard who tries to help in modern day scenarios using magic, however always fails miserably.In the Sixth episode he used magic just to put up his own tent so he did not get told to take it away beacause all he done was tell a story.

Bill "The headless guy". The character after which the program is named. Bill tries in every sketch to participate in a normal activity, such as playing football, however always fails to do so properly due to not having a head.

Time Machine A man who is always bored when his friend is doing something he really wants to do. The man then gets out his time machine and his friend snatches it off him. The friend then states that he was going to go into the future and tell him a vital piece of information concerning whatever it was the friend was doing. The man then denies it and makes up a feeble reason for going into the future. The friend gives him back his time machine, he goes into the future and tells him exactly what he had just denied he was going to tell him.

Harry Bold A man who does various adventurous things, such as parachute jumping or rafting, and uses many unnecessary items the 'bloke in the shop' said he needed. He then does whatever the thing is and comes out in a mess, stating "No, it's not for me, like".

Posh Parents A boy does well with something at school, and his parents reward him in some way. However, whatever it is they give him,has a catch,i.e they have not included something vital to it and he is not able to use his present.

The Bluebeards A pirate boy who goes to a school in which everyone else is a sailor. He is then discriminated against in some way due to him being a pirate. His parents (Mr and Mrs Bluebeard) then find out and are outraged. The sketch always ends with the person who had been doing the discriminating walking the plank.

Old Ladies Two old ladies who meet a man in the street. He is selling something and describes it to the ladies. They then express their liking of the thing, saying "lovely man", and the man is pleased. However, when it comes to the topic of the price, the olf ladies then say "Oh, well I suppose it's what things cost these days." One lady then turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't think you'll get much change out of a thousand pounds for that!" The man then says the object costs some small amount and the ladies seem outraged, saying "A thousand pounds?" They walk off, disgusted, saying "Nasty man," which contradicts them saying "lovely man" earlier.

Witchfinder General A man dressed in Puritanical clothes is in a shop. If he gets impatient or doesn't get his way, he loudly accuses the offending person of being a witch, at which point a mob of pre-Restoration peasantry arrive and carry the accused off.Saying:"Witch, shes a witch!"

Imaginary Friend A boy who thinks he has a imaginary friend but hasn't. When the person says I can see him the boy says that's because I've imagined him so much. When the man asks for two what ever they are having/buying, the imaginary friend says I can't have that the man says He can't have that.The person has to do all things pretend and normally ends up doing it wrong.When the person gets distracted the imaginary friend starts doing/playing with what ever they were doing/playing.

Hopeless Choir Singers A choir who always shout the songs at the top of their lungs,tuneless and noisy.

Paintball Mania A man who goes around splatting regular people with a paintgun, shouting "Paintball Mania!". The people defend themselves from the paint and so he says "That's the top coat".

Bee People get disrupted by a constant buzzing in the room. The people then look around the room and say "Is there a bee in here?" The camera then shows that there is a massive person in the room dressed as a bee and the people continue to seem oblivious to it.

Video Games Three characters from various different video games congregate in a room after the game is over. One is a foreign woman wearing a thick pink coat who appears in a skiing game. One is a skunk in a red suit with a squeeky voice who appears in a game to do with exploding apples. And one is a posh man with long brown hair wearing a green outfit who appears in a fantasy game. This sketch is one of the few sketches that is not almost exactly the same every time.

Cook A lady who stands in a kitchen giving cooking tips to the viewers watching. However, every time she eats or mentions blueberries she spontaneously farts. It is not yet known why this happens to her with blueberries, and not raspberries as it would be originally expected.

Goth A goth who appears in various different fictional television programs and all he says is "black". Because of this, everything that comes out at the end of the program comes out black and horrible. He then states he likes it.

Old Men Two old men who sit at a table or hospital bed and talk about a dead person who has done something supposedly amazing. They then talk about how they would like a particular popstar. Finally, one of them state how the dead person died, and it is always something stupid such as 'fell off his Shetland Pony'.

Auditionees Two people who audition for hundreds of West End shows, and dress in expensive costumes for the auditions. They always do something stupid so never get the parts.

Beating the School Run A mother who tries to get her son to school without having to use the car, due to lots of traffic that has just been broadcast on the radio. In order to do this, she always thinks up some far-fetched plan such as using teleports or rocket-boots. However, she always fails miserably and so ends by saying "I'll get the car keys, shall I?....Yes."