Red vs. Blue (season 4)

This is an episode guide for the machinima webcomic Red vs Blue: Season 4

Episode 58 - Familiar Surroundings: Grif is still freaking out over being back in Blood Gulch, despite the others' attempts to shut him up. Meanwhile, Tex, Tucker and Caboose discover Church is back in ghost form again. Church explains that he was literally scared out of his body after being ambushed by the alien Elite in the last episode, though his attempts to explain this keep getting interrupted by Caboose's stupidity and Tucker's attempt to hijack Church's flashback and showcase his sexual fantasies (which Tucker wisely ends quickly so as to avoid getting his head blown off by Tex.)

Episode 59 - Hunting Time: In Blood Gulch, the Red Team is taking potshots at Grif with their sniper rifles in order to get him to stop screaming. Grif eventually relents, and the team prepare to investigate their old base. Sarge gives a speech about alertness, completely oblivious to the fact Sheila the Tank is driving around behind him. Meanwhile, the Blue Team prepares to hunt the Elite. Church asks Andy the Bomb if he's seen the alien, but Andy just continues to insult the Blues. Suddenly, the Blues spot the Elite, causing them to panic, fire wildly, and run away (all except for Caboose, who simply asks "did we win?"). The episode ends with possibly the Elite laughing in hysteria and Andy poking fun at the Blues sudden retreat.

Episode 60 - Fight or Fright: Simmons tries to convince Sarge that he did see a tank behind him. Donut agrees, but Sarge disregards his testimony because he is "impressionable", and Grif simply denies it in order to make Simmons look bad. Meanwhile, the Blues insult each other over their previous panicked, wild fire attack on the Elite. Tex decides to go in alone and dashes into the complex while the rest debate Church's heroism (or lack thereof). Upon entering the complex, Tex is immediately cut down and re-appears in ghost form. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons and Donut get into a fistfight/hijacking match over the hovercraft, which Simmons wants to use to find the tank. Believing that Simmons has gone insane, Sarge actually promotes Grif to his "Number Two" man, but Grif quickly loses the position due to his usual laziness. On the Blue side, Tucker suggests that Caboose goes into the complex and speak to the Elite. Church likes the idea, because he and Tex can sneak in and retreive their bodies while the Elite is chewing on Caboose. Caboose enters, sees Andy the bomb, and asks whether he has seen the Elite. He doesn't finish his sentence as he sees the Elite's shadow on the ground.

Episode 61 - Fair Competition: Simmons has completely fallen out of favor with Sarge, and in fact is now forced to stand at least 200 yards away from the rest of the Reds. As a result, Sarge begins to hold a competition to determine who will be his new right-hand man. Grif is automatically disqualified for being Grif, which puts the competition down to Donut, a wrench, and an inanimate skull found nearby. Simmons laments the ruination of his life, and concedes to himself that maybe he did imagine seeing the tank. Sheila's voice is suddenly heard right behind him, begging to differ. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, the Blues are startled to discover that Caboose has actually managed to tame the Great Destroyer, thanks to his pure heart (or, more likely, the Destroyer found him unpalatable, and no longer wants to eat him or anything that looks like him). The Blues trade insults with the Destroyer while trying to understand its language, which seems to consist entirely of *blarg* and *honk*.

Episode 62 - Lost in Triangulation: At the Zanzibar fortress, Church asks Gary if he can translate the alien's "speech" for them. Gary reveals the alien is one of his creators, but unfortunately he knows virtually nothing about their race because he was programmed entirely with knowledge of the Shisno. The Blues continue to try to translate what the alien is saying, and eventually reach the conclusion that the alien's name might be Honk Honk. Church even believes that he's figured out what yes is in the alien's language, though Tex argues that it could also mean no. Meanwhile at Blood Gulch, the Reds continue Sarge's right-hand-man contest, which Donut ultimately wins. Simmons has become despondent and suicidal, and Sheila (whom Simmons believes is a figment of his imagination) tries to cheer him up by leading him back to her home, a reconstructed Blue base. Sheila reveals that she has lost many of her memories due to circuit degradation over the years. She knows that her final mission was to protect Blood Gulch from the enemy of the Blues, and though she has forgotten their identity, she vaguely remembers it was an army of a different color. Simmons, immediately realizing that his life is in danger, unsuccessfully tries to convince Sheila that the enemy was monkey space pirate cowboy ninjas who were trying to round up some cattle.

Episode 63 - The Hard Stop: The episode opens up again at the Zanzibar fortress as Tucker and Caboose are attempting to teach english to the alien. Church & Tucker get into a small debate on whether they should teach the alien English or learn his language. Tucker is convinced that they should teach the Destroyer english and even had created some visual aids to help the alien understand. As it turns out, Tucker was able to get the writing supplies from Caboose's gun which apparently contained cranyons instead of bullets, but Tucker needs to cut them, so he activates his plasma sword. Unfortunately, the alien jumps and attacks Tucker once it sees Tucker activate his sword. Despite Tucker's cries for help, Church watches the alien as it attacks Tucker, in order to evaluate the alien's fighting style.

Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons is at the Blue base with Sheila close by. He attempts to contact the Red Base, but is greeted with Donut on the line, who tries to impersonate an auto-response system. Simmons attempts to get Sarge on the line, but Donut, under instructions from an off-screen Sarge, denies Simmons from communicating with Sarge, even after he informed Donut that he had captured the Blue Base and Sheila. Eventually Donut hangs up on Simmons, but not before letting Simmons know that he really enjoys his new job as Sarge's right hand man. Apparently this was the last straw for Simmons as he declares that he will kill all the Reds and tells Sheila to lock and load.

Finally, we return to Zanzibar to find Tex talking with Andy the Bomb. Tex, through some bluffing & mild threats of blowing up Andy with a remote detonator (which didn't exist since Tex told Sarge that the bomb only had a countdown timer in Episode 49 & that she had no control over the bomb), convinces him to help her translate what the alien is saying. This, however, doesn't stop Andy from making rude jokes about Tex acting more male than female. (Surprisedly, Tex is apparently able to carry Andy for a bit, even though he is the same bomb that she couldn't lift off the ground before, in which Caboose was then given the task.)

Episode 59 - Previous Commitments: