User:XYaAsehShalomX/Essays and stuff: Difference between revisions
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'''Warning - these pages may contain extremely left wing and anti-authority sentiments, as well as an unhealthy dose of venomous humour. If you have a nervous disposition, please go [[Care Bears|here]], and do not read any further. Thank you very much.''' |
'''Warning - these pages may contain extremely left wing and anti-authority sentiments, as well as an unhealthy dose of venomous humour. If you have a nervous disposition, please go [[Care Bears|here]], and do not read any further. Thank you very much.''' |
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== Glue Watch - originally posted on my geocities website == |
== Glue Watch - originally posted on my geocities website, with some modifications == |
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Providing impartial, unbiased and accurate information on the glue industry since 2004 |
Providing impartial, unbiased and accurate information on the glue industry since 2004 |
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A timeline on Glue's Assault on the World |
'''A timeline on Glue's Assault on the World''' |
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A few million years ago:trees in the prehistoric rainforests started to secrete a kind of resin. This was the forerunner of the modern glue. From the very beginning, the glue was the enemy of life. Innocent flies and insects got themselves trapped in the trees' secretions. But such was the plants' domination of the world that this monstrosity was ignored. |
A few million years ago:trees in the prehistoric rainforests started to secrete a kind of resin. This was the forerunner of the modern glue. From the very beginning, the glue was the enemy of life. Innocent flies and insects got themselves trapped in the trees' secretions. But such was the plants' domination of the world that this monstrosity was ignored. |
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In around the 1400s,it was discovered that people could make glue in a different way from getting it from plants. That's right, they began to boil up the bones of horses and other animals. It still made their hands sticky, but in light of its "benefits" they decided to carry on using it. |
In around the 1400s,it was discovered that people could make glue in a different way from getting it from plants. That's right, they began to boil up the bones of horses and other animals. It still made their hands sticky, but in light of its "benefits" they decided to carry on using it. |
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Today, modern glue is still sticky. Glue-lovers claim that if it wasn't it wouldn't work. Glue-lovers do their best to enable the glue to become a superior product - even being so bold as to describe one kind of glue as "superglue". Now, when was the last time you saw a product called "super-washing up liquid?" When was the last time you saw any product being called "SUPER" - apart from THE GLUE? |
Today, modern glue is still sticky. Glue-lovers claim that if it wasn't it wouldn't work. Glue-lovers do their best to enable the glue to become a superior product - even being so bold as to describe one kind of glue as "superglue". Now, when was the last time you saw a product called "super-washing up liquid?" When was the last time you saw any product being called "SUPER" - apart from '''THE GLUE''' (dun dun dun)? |
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What has the glue ever done for us? The answer is, absolutely nothing, unless you count book binding, papier mache, sticking sheets into workbooks, sticking furniture together, and holding it together, and keeping things in their place? Where is the contributions to music (unless you count the glue in musical instruments)? Literature(unless you count keeping the pages from falling out in a book)? The answer is the glue has done absolutely nothing. |
What has the glue ever done for us? The answer is, absolutely nothing, unless you count book binding, papier mache, sticking sheets into workbooks, sticking furniture together, and holding it together, and keeping things in their place? Where is the contributions to music (unless you count the glue in musical instruments)? Literature(unless you count keeping the pages from falling out in a book)? The answer is the glue has done absolutely nothing. In fact, it has harmed the cause of animal rights, since it is frequently made out of horses' hooves, and forces pieces of paper to be unnaturally stuck together! Anyone who uses glue is a paper traitor, and must be disciplined in an appropriate manner. |
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And some types of glue, though by no means all, smell of fish. The minds of children become corrupted while sniffing it. Criticism of the glue is forbidden, if someone dares to criticise glue, a new version is brought out, with exactly the same faults as the old version. They have even made a pocket glue called pritt-stick, to disguise the runny nature of the more "embarrassing" glue - but it is STILL GLUE! |
And some types of glue, though by no means all, smell of fish. The minds of children become corrupted while sniffing it. Criticism of the glue is forbidden, if someone dares to criticise glue, a new version is brought out, with exactly the same faults as the old version. They have even made a pocket glue called pritt-stick, to disguise the runny nature of the more "embarrassing" glue - but it is STILL GLUE! THIS DECEPTION HAS TO STOP! |
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Last year, the glue industry made £3 000000000 or thereabouts. Why does no other industry get this much money (unless you count the pencil industry, the furniture industry, the arms industry, etc)? What are they trying to hide from us? |
Last year, the glue industry made £3 000000000 or thereabouts. Why does no other industry get this much money (unless you count the pencil industry, the furniture industry, the arms industry, etc)? What are they trying to hide from us? |
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Revision as of 22:40, 14 December 2005
Warning - these pages may contain extremely left wing and anti-authority sentiments, as well as an unhealthy dose of venomous humour. If you have a nervous disposition, please go here, and do not read any further. Thank you very much.
Glue Watch - originally posted on my geocities website, with some modifications
Providing impartial, unbiased and accurate information on the glue industry since 2004
A timeline on Glue's Assault on the World
A few million years ago:trees in the prehistoric rainforests started to secrete a kind of resin. This was the forerunner of the modern glue. From the very beginning, the glue was the enemy of life. Innocent flies and insects got themselves trapped in the trees' secretions. But such was the plants' domination of the world that this monstrosity was ignored.
A few thousand years ago, tribes in the rainforests around the world discovered that they could use this substance to make tools and build homes. At that time they were not aware of the glue and its evil potential, but they soon found out. It made their hands sticky.
Since that time, the filthy glue has wormed its way around the world. Even animals use and secrete glue-like substances, blissfully unaware of the damage which the sticky stuff is doing.
In around the 1400s,it was discovered that people could make glue in a different way from getting it from plants. That's right, they began to boil up the bones of horses and other animals. It still made their hands sticky, but in light of its "benefits" they decided to carry on using it.
Today, modern glue is still sticky. Glue-lovers claim that if it wasn't it wouldn't work. Glue-lovers do their best to enable the glue to become a superior product - even being so bold as to describe one kind of glue as "superglue". Now, when was the last time you saw a product called "super-washing up liquid?" When was the last time you saw any product being called "SUPER" - apart from THE GLUE (dun dun dun)?
What has the glue ever done for us? The answer is, absolutely nothing, unless you count book binding, papier mache, sticking sheets into workbooks, sticking furniture together, and holding it together, and keeping things in their place? Where is the contributions to music (unless you count the glue in musical instruments)? Literature(unless you count keeping the pages from falling out in a book)? The answer is the glue has done absolutely nothing. In fact, it has harmed the cause of animal rights, since it is frequently made out of horses' hooves, and forces pieces of paper to be unnaturally stuck together! Anyone who uses glue is a paper traitor, and must be disciplined in an appropriate manner.
And some types of glue, though by no means all, smell of fish. The minds of children become corrupted while sniffing it. Criticism of the glue is forbidden, if someone dares to criticise glue, a new version is brought out, with exactly the same faults as the old version. They have even made a pocket glue called pritt-stick, to disguise the runny nature of the more "embarrassing" glue - but it is STILL GLUE! THIS DECEPTION HAS TO STOP!
Last year, the glue industry made £3 000000000 or thereabouts. Why does no other industry get this much money (unless you count the pencil industry, the furniture industry, the arms industry, etc)? What are they trying to hide from us?
SUPPORT GLUE WATCH and keep a watch on what the glue is trying to do!