Talk:Cyril Rioli: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 10:17, 30 September 2009
Cyril Rioli is currently a Sports and recreation good article nominee. Nominated by at 05:57, 17 September 2009 (UTC) An editor has indicated a willingness to review the article in accordance with the good article criteria and will decide whether or not to list it as a good article. Comments are welcome from any editor who has not nominated or contributed significantly to this article. This review will be closed by the first reviewer. To add comments to this review, click discuss review and edit the page.
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Australia: Australian rules football B‑class Low‑importance | |||||||||||||||||||
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It is requested that a photograph be included in this article to improve its quality.
The external tool WordPress Openverse may be able to locate suitable images on Flickr and other web sites. |
GA Review
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyril Rioli/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Hi, I'll be reviewing this article. The rules for GA reviews are stated at Good Article criteria. Feel free to respond to my comments under each one, and please sign each response, so that it's clear who said what.
When an issue is resolved, I'll mark it with Done. If I think an issue remains unresolved after responses / changes by the editor(s), I'll mark it Not done. Occasionally I decide one of my comments is off-target, and strike it out -- Aaroncrick (talk) 10:16, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Coverage
- No obvious gaps. Aaroncrick (talk) 10:16, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Prose
Verifiability
Links validity check
Done Aaroncrick (talk) 21:57, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
Check for disambiguation and other dubious wikilinks
Done Aaroncrick (talk) 21:57, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
Other Comments
Lead - "He wears the number 33 guernsey." Not really needed in the lead? Aaroncrick (talk) 21:54, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
- "prestigious", word probably too strong, unless you've quoted an article. Even then you'll need to use speech marks. Aaroncrick (talk) 21:55, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
- "intense", word probably too strong, unless you've quoted an article. Even then you'll need to use speech marks. Aaroncrick (talk) 21:59, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
- I had not seen this, forgot to watch the page, my apologies. I have replaced prestigious with acclaimed from an article from The Age, intense has also been weeded out, that was a line that was pre-existing, I think I just added a basic source early on. #33 gone also.
- Do you think the last paragraph in the lead would be better off continuing the concentration on football (this year's achievements, probably) or just stick with the way it is now, the Indigineous incentive? k.i.a.c (talktome - contribs) 11:01, 7 October 2009 (UTC)
- I don't think it matters. Aaroncrick (talk) 23:42, 8 October 2009 (UTC)
Early life and junior football - "Rioli moved to Melbourne as a 14 year old, boarding at and attending Scotch College for four years whilst playing for the school's football team." Change to "Rioli moved to Melbourne as a 14 year old, where he attended and boarded at Scotch College for four years whilst playing for the school's football team. Aaroncrick (talk) 23:42, 8 October 2009 (UTC)
I know it's hard to fix because there's only positive comments about him, but the article sounds so fan crufty. Made some minor fixes. Looking to get the article finished soon. I won't be on much but I'll get this done. Aaroncrick (talk) 19:59, 12 October 2009 (UTC)
- Feel free to point out the overly fan crufty comments; we don't necessarily need to have (the non-existent) negative comments to improve this. k.i.a.c (talktome - contribs) 03:55, 13 October 2009 (UTC)
- "He covered 90% of his first pre-season schedule for the club; a very high volume of work for a first-year player according to the head fitness coach Andrew Russell. Russell also said that nobody he had worked with in his previous four years at Hawthorn had done that much in their first pre-season." Any quotes? Aaroncrick (talk) 20:03, 12 October 2009 (UTC)
- Added quote. k.i.a.c (talktome - contribs) 03:55, 13 October 2009 (UTC)
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