The Germans

The Germans is perhaps the most famous episode of the BBC sitcom Fawlty Towers.

In the episode, which starts with Basil and Sybil in the hospital (where Sybil is about to have an ingrowing toenail removed), the viewer gets to see Basil's bluntness and sarcasm at its finest.

Basil is not at all sympathetic to Sybil's problem - "I wish it was an ingrowing tongue", and he claps his hands with glee when he finds out that she will be in pain after the operation.

The Major manages to get startled by a talking moose... which Basil never does get to put up on the wall as ordered to. When he is about to do it, the phone rings - "I was just doing it Sybil but you stopped me to tell me to do what I was already doing. What is the bloody point Sybil, I mean what is the bloody point?". When the moose is on the desk, Manuel is practising English, which makes the Major think the Moose can talk.

Eventually it is time for a fire drill. However, it seems that the hotel's burglar alarm and fire alarm sound the same (Basil claims the latter is a semi-tone higher), and that Manuel hasn't heard of a fire drill. During the fire drill, Manuel accidentally sets the kitchen on fire, and Basil locks the hapless waiter in the burning room - "there is no fire, is only bell!"

Basil finally realises there is a fire - "I don't know how to say this, but... fire. Fire. F-f-f-f-f-fire. FIRE! FIRE!!!", but he can't set off the alarm as he can't find the key. After cursing God he eventually sets it off, gets a fire extinguisher, managing to spray himself in the face before finally being smacked by Manuel's frying pan. The result is one concussed Mr. Fawlty - in bed while Sybil is sitting in a chair in the same room - just as German tourists arrive at the hotel.

Basil's escape from hospital commences after he insults the Sister - "it's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor" - and he arrives just in time to meet the Germans...

Basil can't speak a word of German, and thinks that they're "volunteering to go out to get some meat". He responds with "not necessary, vee haff meat here in zee building!" He also uses charades to take them through to the restaurant, to which the Germans reply "can we help you?". Basil is most shocked by the fact they speak English. He carefully warns the rest of the staff to not mention World War II.

However, Basil manages to reference the war in almost every sentence. This leads to an extended argument between Basil and the German:

German: Will you please stop talking about the war?

Basil: Me? You started it.
German: We did not!

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland.

Basil then goes for the big one and does an impression of Hitler himself - "I'll do the funny walk" - and proceeds to goose-step across into the lobby and back. When told he isn't funny, Basil responds with "not funny?! I'm trying to cheer her up you stupid kraut!" The episode finally winds up when Basil is knocked out by the moose which is finally hung up on the wall...

This episode gave the English language the phrase "don't mention the war". The Hitler impression has become infamous, and has been compared with the silly walk, also performed by John Cleese.

The very last line of the episode, and the first series, comes from one of the Germans – "how ever did they win?", which is the reason the episode has never been considered anti-German. The butt of the joke is Basil, who makes a bigger fool of himself with every outburst. At the same time, the Germans remain calm throughout, a telling sign that perhaps the British are less mature about the whole thing.

This episode also has the title of 'The Fire Drill'.