John Cena's Raps

On way his way to superstardom, John Cena has had a number of memorable lines in his freestyle raps, in which he would insult all his opponents. The clever references to popular culture was just one of many things that made Cena's "white rapper" gimmick incredibly popular. At the end, he would often raise his microphone and let the crowd finish his sentence, due to the fact that the last word was usually an expletive.

• To Brock Lesnar:
  • Bounce around like you got potatoes in your crack, that's a nice tattoo of your mother on your back
  • I'll hang your ass, you're like a Christmas tree ornament; I'll whack you more times than a masturbation tournament.
  • If you an animal, then I'm going on safari; I'm rocking PlayStation 2, you can't figure out Atari.
  • You're the poster child for the birth control pill; you go down faster than a ho, for a five dollar bill.
  • You so close clumsy, you couldn't beat a cripple in a dance off; You want the next big thing, let me take my pants off.
  • I'll break you down, watch you drown, and not throw a rope; This is jail, Brock, we inmates—you just dropped the soap!
  • Me Brock Lesnar! Here Come The Pain! God make me strong, but Him no give me brain!
  • You get my point now?, because before I thought you missed it—I'm a Triple Viagra Shot—you just a Limp Bizkit (play on band Limp Bizkit).

• To Chris Benoit:
  • Have you wrapped you up with so many bandages, they'll think you're Saudi Arabian; Instead of the Canadian Crippler, you'll just be a Crippled Canadian.
  • Yo, I can't skate, but I still play with my pucks and stick. I have them call you John Bobbitt because I cut off your [mic raise]

• To Rhyno:
  • Half man and half beast - is that supposed to impress me? Man, my fist will swell your face - you'll be the white Dizzy Gillespie!
  • Yo, this is thuganmoics - I excel beyond sports; He rocks a horn on his head, I rock a horn in my shorts!

• To Christian:
  • You couldn't even hang with the Brood, they even put you on the shelf; Gangrel was sucking blood, you was sucking something else.

• To Rikishi:
  • Mess with me, you die slow, and explode, you wide load; Your butt looks like twenty miles of bad road.
  • You got bad knees, plus you're obese; You're so fat, when you sweat, you sweat grease.
  • So please, it's over, don't bother trying; call back Jared and get on Subway's diet.

• To the Undertaker:
  • Yo, my practice is power-pratic, do not break your back; so you're a Dead Man? I'm a necrophiliac.
  • I shock the world I make the Dead Man fall; And leave him like a broken pool table...with no Balls!
  • You can't sacrifice me, my name ain't Mideon; I'll go Waco on yo' ass, like a Branch Davidian! Tellin' people you're Devil, shoutin' "666"; I claim heavenly vengeance, and I'll make you my bitch!

• To Billy Gunn:
  • So now I wrestle Mr. Ass, the dude who likes to suck it; Torrie's a cover-up bro, we know you take it in the bucket.
  • Hey, I’m not nervous cause you got this weird fetish with butts; I’m scared because your favorite food is sausage and nuts.

• To Brian Kendrick:
  • Dude, he's exactly like me, oh no no no, I'm ten times bigger; You want to be me so bad? You're smaller than my action figure.
  • So I'm past you, little Rascal, you and your kiddy tricks; You want to spank something? Dude, go home, spank on your [mic raise]

• To Kurt Angle:
  • What happened Kurt, you turned into a whiner? Last week you lost the title, now you got a Vagina!
  • And gold medal or not, Kurt Angle’s going south; Forget your mouth piece, I’ll put my piece in your mouth.
  • They risk their lives in Iraq, and you can't even find your nut sack.
  • I'll put you on all fours. They found Saddam in one hole, I'll shove Daivari up yours.

• To The Big Show:
  • You got the franchise player on the Super Bowl stage. So get that Gorilla Big Show outta his cage! There's no way I'm gonna lose to that King Kong rip-off! It's like Gary Coleman beating Patrick Ewing in a tip-off. Big Show's an ape with opposable thumbs, and he stuffed his singling, looks like he's smuggling plums.
  • YO! everybody knows that he can't see me! I'm itchin' to beat him like a penis with an STD. I'm not even wrestling the Big Show this whole thing's a charade, my match is with the Hippo Float from the Macy's Parade.
  • It's time to get a championship to match these custom knucks, Madison Square chant it loud baby, Big Show Sucks!

• To Edge:
  • And you, you claim you're "Money in the Bank", and you think you know me; Well John Cena’s like a pinwheel, so you can go ahead and blow me.

• To Lita:
  • Lita's a slut, you shouldn't see her, last time I did, I got gonorrhea.

• To U.S. Troops:
  • For real, Saddam never had a chance with troops like you around him; we should bury that bastard in the same hole that you found him!

• To Chris Masters:
  • I've got your key, you aren't no threat to me; Chris Masters can't even spell WWE!
  • He has a body that makes people say "Oh my god"; but his "masterpiece" is smaller than the Nano iPod.

• Other (to fans):
  • I beat your dad's family, I beat your mom's; Your sister calls me leprechaun, always after my Lucky Charms [grabs crotch area].
  • I'm so over the top, I'm giving censors fits; Forget the match, let's go to Hooters so we can grab some [mic raise]
  • You can't fly with me. C-E-N-A. It's a freestyle rap, baby, we don't play. I come off the dorm like everyday. Come at you from both sides like lesbian 3-ways.
  • Hospitals are packed with wrestling fans, they're getting Saturday Night Fever; I'm scared of getting Mad Cow, that's why all I eat is beaver.

External links

• http://www.thecubsfan.com/wwe/info/johncena.htm