User:The Bipolar Anon-IP Gnome

I'm here to repair it, not to research it.
—Anon. WikiGnome

This editor is not an administrator and does not wish to be one.

This user has an alternative account named 70.21.16.94 (talk · contribs).

This user supports the right of anonymous users to edit Wikipedia.

This user has been a member of Wikipedia since 2006-04-08.

This user has been on Wikipedia for 18 years, 8 months and 18 days.

This user wastes far too much time editing Wikipedia.

This user is a new page patroller.

This user is a proposed deletion patroller.

delThis editor is a deletionist.

This editor is a WikiGnome.

[[User:{{{1}}}|{{{1}}}]] ([[User talk:{{{1}}}|talk]] · [[Special:Contributions/{{{1}}}|contribs]] · [[Special:DeletedContributions/{{{1}}}|deleted contribs]] · [[Special:Log/spamblacklist/{{{1}}}|blacklist hits]] · AbuseLog · [[Special:Whatlinkshere/User:{{{1}}}|what links to user page]] · count · [[Wikipedia:WikiProject Spam/UserReports/{{{1}}}|COIBot]] · Spamcheck · user page logs · x-wiki · status · Edit filter search · Google · StopForumSpam)

This editor does not feed the trolls.

This user repairs links to disambiguation pages.

A, B, and CThis user prefers the serial comma.

theyThis user frequently uses singular they as it is a handy gender-neutral pronoun.

their
there
they'reThis user thinks that there are too many people who don’t know that they're worse than their own children at spelling!

its
it'sIt's really not that hard to use each word in its proper manner.

to
too
twoThis user thinks that too many people have no idea how to use words that they should have learned in grade two.

…This user is addicted to ellipses and has been known to use them indiscriminately... though mostly as aposiopesis

Personal

This user is male.

74YThis Wikipedian was born on 17 February 1950 and is 74 years, 10 months, and 9 days old.

MThis user is a Life Member of Mensa

This user is owned by one or more cats.

This user is an Eagle Scout
with a gold palm,
class of 1963.

This user is a Vigil Honor member of the Order of the Arrow since 1965 whose name is Peta Summa Wan, which means One Who Lights the Way.

This user survived a trek through Philmont Scout Ranch.

This user has visited the ruins of
Chichen Itza

This user's ethnicity is
African American.

This user lives in the United States District of Columbia.

R·I·TThis user graduated from Rochester Institute of Technology.

BCSThis user has a Bachelor of Computer Science degree.

CNThis user's alignment is Chaotic Neutral: the "Free Spirit."

This user is aware of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

This user remembers using
a rotary dial telephone.

This user remembers when television programming was only in black-and-white.

This user is old enough to remember what a typewriter is, and that's all you need to know.

This user remembers (with nostalgia) having to use punch cards to run Fortran programs in college.

This user really likes old computers.

WinXPRegretfully, this user contributes using Microsoft Windows XP.

This user contributes using GNU/Linux.

This user contributes using Firefox.

This user's Internet service provider is Verizon.

@This user has an account at SETI@home.

This user has a website, which can be found here.

Computer Languages

C-5This user is a professional C programmer.

HTML-5This user is a professional HTML user.

asm-4This user is an expert assembly language programmer.

BASIC-4This user is an expert BASIC programmer.

C++-4This user is an expert C++ programmer.

for-4This user is an expert Fortran programmer.

pas-4This user is an expert Pascal programmer.

-4This user is an expert LaTeX user.

bash-3This user is an advanced Bash programmer.

{{Wiki}}This user is an advanced writer in the MediaWiki language.

COBOL-2This user is an intermediate COBOL programmer.

Java-2This user is an intermediate Java programmer.

vb-2This user is an intermediate Visual Basic programmer.

Outside the box is where I live!

— Kara "Starbuck" Thrace

Just to vouchsafe my street cred, I was born in 1950, and I was pushing bits in Fortran (and using E-mail on ARPANET) back in the mid-70s … I have forgotten how use more programming languages than most programmers ever learn (like APL, Forth, Lisp, Smalltalk, and SNOBOL) … and yes, I am an "expert dialectician and grammarian" who is perhaps Too Much in love with the sound of their own voice. (Who says that purple prose is a Bad Thing? You maybe could learn a thing or two from Joseph Goebbels. ;-) — The Bipolar Anon-IP Gnome (talk) 07:37, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Anonymous WikiGnome or Sockpuppet?

It is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.

— Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper, USN

OK, time to make the public declaration … I suffer from Schizoaffective disorder, which sometimes manifests as borderline Dissociative identity disorder … in simple English, it means that my manic-depression can manifest itself in a Jekyll and Hyde kind of way … sometimes my Evil Twin overpowers me, and I can't always keep them away from the keyboard.

While passing the time surfing Wikipedia, sometimes I'm compelled to revert some obvious vandalism, or I'll see something that makes me just go Monkish and I'll start looking for ISBNs on Amazon.com and adding {{cite book}} templates to references … then I'll start looking at other articles, and what started out innocently enough takes a wrong turn, and Father of Orphans (aka, "He Who Takes No Prisoners") becomes the dominant personality.

It's like a normal adult and their hyperactive, anal retentive inner child are sharing the same IP address and passwords … think Dr. Monk and Mr. T … one "suffer fools gladly", the other "pities the fool!" (You know that little voice in your head that tells you to do things you know that you shouldn't do? Well, sometimes I listen to it, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't also let it speak out loud through my mouth.)

At least by not using my registered account, I can keep my Very Bad half from turning into a Real Flaming WikiTroll when they don their Cloak of Righteous Indignation (they're anonymous, so the other WikiTrolls ignore them) … like I said, there's both an "adult" and a "child" using this broadband connection, so my apologies for any disruptions … I stand by the vast majority of my edit history as a WikiGnome and new pages patroller, with no apologies for any of my reverts of what I considered Vanispamcruftisement, non-neutral point of view, or original research.

Which brings me to a recent incident … my ISP changes my IP address at random intervals, and because I'm anal retentive about signing my posts on Talk pages, I sometimes slip and use the current IP signature while logged in … and that's when someone jumps on me for being a sockpuppet. But since I am not creating another account, and do not engage in any of the forbidden practices (although I may occasionally Comment on an AfD to point out an overlooked issue or related article), I resent the implication that I am acting in Bad Faith.

It's pretty easy for someone to track down the various IP addresses I've used since I "resigned" several months ago, and to be quite honest, it's people who have nothing better to do than actually perform such a background search that frighten me … I'm not running around trying to influence opinions … my Other Half has engaged in some disruptive behavior, and for using the veil of anonymity to avoid professional embarrassment, I plead guilty as charged … but none of those issues are ever revisited from a different IP address … and specifically because anonymous user opinions are discounted in most discussions, I am not tempted to participate in them.

Before I discovered the Dark Side of Wikipedia, and lost faith in the Noble Dream, I registered my real first name and created a User page with links to some of my websites … as it happens, I have an international reputation in a field that most people don't even know exists, and you can get my resume by doing a Google search of just my first name, because I'm a single-name celebrity, like Cher, Mo'Nique, or Shamu … in fact, at least half of the first ten results that are returned will refer to me (with my resume at the top of the list), including my Wikipedia User and Talk pages.

The point is, "If I can't be myself, then I don't want to be somebody else," so having an account with a name like The Bipolar Anon-IP Gnome (talk · contribs) is really no different from using a public access terminal at my local library … my Verizon DSL connection is a "floating" IP address, and it changes at random intervals … I may keep an address for a month, or for only a few hours during hurricane season when power outages are more frequent.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Wikipedia is a codependent enabler of my dysfunction, but as an anonymous WikiGnome, I am able to make contributions without exposing myself to opportunities for mischief, even if that sounds counter-intuitive.

So, if you have "found" me, then I say, "Congratulations! Now, please, just go away and leave me alone." — My Real Name 10:21, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Templates that I have created

• {{Anon-sig}} … for signing my posts
• {{Flag-templates}} … table of WP:FLAG-xyz protocols
  • {{Flag-article}}
  • {{Flag-editor}}
• {{Old prod full}}
• {{TV Guide person}}
• {{TV Guide show}} … renamed & added documentation

Current OCD fixations

• Category:Proposed deletion-endorsed
• Category:Flagged articles
• Template:Old prod full

Bookmarks

• Recent IP accounts
• My edit counts
• Current sandbox
• Selected filmography - examples of {{Imdb}} and {{TV Guide}} templates
• Five Stages of Acquisition … not to be confused with the 285 Rules of Acquisition :-)
• Memorable quotes
• John Q. Public - sandbox for WP:FLAG-BIO testing
• "Cuban artists" checklist
  • Talk:Carlos Rafael Uribazo Garrido … example of {{Oldprodfull}} and {{WPB}}.
• Please format the link … instructions for using {{Cite web}} template.
• William Munroe (pencil maker) … an example of proper footnotes using the <ref></ref> and {{Reflist}} templates
• {{AFDNote}} … for notifying authors

Protocols for deletion warnings

Moved to Flag templates for deletion warnings — _{21:08, 10 February 2008 (UTC)} Template:Flag-templates