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*"Firstly" and "secondly" are considered somewhat old-fashioned in American style guides; I don't know what Australian style guides are saying.
*"Firstly" and "secondly" are considered somewhat old-fashioned in American style guides; I don't know what Australian style guides are saying.
**I don't know for sure what Oz guides say, and if anyone strongly objected I'd be prepared to drop "firstly" and replace "secondly" with "also" or something, but I think if one mentions that two points are to be made then demarcating them as I have keeps things clear. Cheers, [[User:Ian Rose|Ian Rose]] ([[User talk:Ian Rose|talk]]) 00:05, 7 May 2011 (UTC)
**I don't know for sure what Oz guides say, and if anyone strongly objected I'd be prepared to drop "firstly" and replace "secondly" with "also" or something, but I think if one mentions that two points are to be made then demarcating them as I have keeps things clear. Cheers, [[User:Ian Rose|Ian Rose]] ([[User talk:Ian Rose|talk]]) 00:05, 7 May 2011 (UTC)
***It may be fine. I really need a bigger library. AmEng guides say to either do what you just said, or use "first" and "second". - Dank ([[User talk:Dank|push to talk]]) 01:18, 7 May 2011 (UTC)
*'''Support''' on prose and MOS per [[User:Dank/Copyediting|standard disclaimer]]. Yet another article by Ian with almost nothing for a picky copy editor to fix. - Dank ([[User talk:Dank|push to talk]]) 18:51, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
*'''Support''' on prose and MOS per [[User:Dank/Copyediting|standard disclaimer]]. Yet another article by Ian with almost nothing for a picky copy editor to fix. - Dank ([[User talk:Dank|push to talk]]) 18:51, 6 May 2011 (UTC)
**Heh, well I do spend a bit of time trying to polish my own prose as much as possible -- many thanks as always. Cheers, [[User:Ian Rose|Ian Rose]] ([[User talk:Ian Rose|talk]]) 00:05, 7 May 2011 (UTC)
**Heh, well I do spend a bit of time trying to polish my own prose as much as possible -- many thanks as always. Cheers, [[User:Ian Rose|Ian Rose]] ([[User talk:Ian Rose|talk]]) 00:05, 7 May 2011 (UTC)

Revision as of 01:18, 7 May 2011

Nominator(s): Ian Rose (talk)


Yes, another RAAF Chief of the Air Staff, this one being the first to follow the four former Duntoon cadets (John McCauley, Frederick Scherger, Val Hancock and Alister Murdoch) who led the service between 1954 and 1969. Like Murdoch, Hannah seems not to have fulfilled his early promise as CAS; in any case he preferred to chuck it in early to become the first RAAF man appointed a State Governor -- a story in itself, but you can read that for yourself... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:23, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support. Another excellent article on a CAS. A few nitpicks, though: HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 21:11, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • Ranks should not be in capitals when not attached to a name
      • Old habits die hard and caps in all cases has been accepted for some time but what you say seems to be way of it now, will do.
    • His promotion to temporary wing commander is mentioned, as is his promotion to temporay group captain. Is there a record of when he was granted the former rank substantively?
      • I'll see if I can find a newspaper mentioning it, as I did for his group captaincy.
    • Is that a full summary of the body of published knowledge about this chap? I can't say it leaves me wanting, but I'm a little surprised there isn't more to say about his governership, especially if he's had a park named after him.
      • I could add a bit more about the governorship but it would pretty well be all further details about the revocation of dormant commission, e.g. quotes from some of the players, plus a couple of other minor incidents earlier in 1975. There seems nothing about anything positive he might have done like visiting disaster zones or patronising charities or causes. FWIW I wasn't planning on taking this to FAC at this stage like I am with the other three I've just put up for ACR, which I think have fuller coverage of their subject's careers. Many thanks as usual for reviewing! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 21:49, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        • Fair enough, and you're quite welcome. My only concern, which is more FA level really, is that the only part of his tenure as governor is what seems to me to be something of a storm in a teacup, albeit one that ended his career. If there are any details available on what else he did as governor, I think the article would benefit from their inclusion. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:08, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
          • This was a lot more than a storm in a teacup - the governors of Australian states (which are largely ceremonial positions, albeit with the constitutional ability to sack the government in a crisis) are expected to stay out of politics at all times. This also formed part of the background to the 1975 Australian constitutional crisis. Nick-D (talk) 23:45, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support This is another great article on a RAAF leader and I think that the A class criteria are met. I do have some comments though:
    • "he was sent to Air Force Headquarters," sounds a bit odd (and being 'sent' somewhere generally has negative connotations)
      • Ah, great minds, I thought the same thing last time I read it but got waylaid before I could fix it. Yes, sounds like he was a naughty schoolboy -- but that came later... ;-)
    • What were the responsibilities of RAAF armaments officers?
      • I'll see if my friend Coulthard-Clark can tell me something specific...
        • Their responsibilities appear to have included maintenance of aircraft bombs, guns, and interruptor gear (this was still a biplane era) -- however as a general statement (the mention isn't specifically related to Hannah) I think it'd slow up the narrative to plonk it in. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • "In the event, the post again went to an Army officer, and the RAAF presence would be withdrawn from Vietnam during Hannah's tour as CAS" - this suggests that Hannah was responsible for the withdrawal of the RAAF from Vietnam, when this decision was made by the government of the day Nick-D (talk) 07:32, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      • Yes, the way I expressed it was a bit throw-away (although the source puts it in somewhat similar fashion) -- will see about rewording. Thanks for the review and your edits! Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 10:38, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]


Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank (push to talk) 18:51, 6 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Firstly" and "secondly" are considered somewhat old-fashioned in American style guides; I don't know what Australian style guides are saying.
    • I don't know for sure what Oz guides say, and if anyone strongly objected I'd be prepared to drop "firstly" and replace "secondly" with "also" or something, but I think if one mentions that two points are to be made then demarcating them as I have keeps things clear. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:05, 7 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support on prose and MOS per standard disclaimer. Yet another article by Ian with almost nothing for a picky copy editor to fix. - Dank (push to talk) 18:51, 6 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]