Wikipedia:Peer review/Mount Cleveland (Alaska)/archive2

Mount Cleveland (Alaska)

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because it failed an FAC fairly recently. That experience taught me that over-prepared is still not prepared enough; hence, I'm listing the article for review here as a step towards renominating it and, hopefully, passing this time. ;) ResMar 04:22, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

• I think it's always useful to research a bit more. Have you consulted all of the resources here? ceranthor 14:39, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

All the ones that are accessible, yeah. The problem with Cleveland is that there's tons of sources, but none are very detailed, most just gloss over Cleveland with passing reference. Still, many of them contain short little unique bits, and it's from that that the article is structured. I don't remember exactly, but I think I talked to Awk and he got me some of the material in there, but it turned out to be nothing new; and if Awk can't get it, I certainly can't, haha. ResMar 16:56, 30 June 2011 (UTC)

Alright, no problem then. ceranthor 16:32, 6 July 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Chipmunkdavis

As you noted in the FAC, it is a short article. However, if you have consulted all the resources available, there's probably little that can be done about that. If I see any information that I feel is particularly missing, I suppose I'll note it.

Lead

• When I read "a remote landmass 490 km (304 mi) from the western end of the Aleutian Arc" I assume that it is located far to the west of the Aleutians. However, in the next paragraph it states that the island is part of the Aleutians, and from the map it appears to be near to the middle of the arc. Could you clarify its location slightly?

The Aleutian Arc is in general very remote, including Mount Cleveland. I've moved the 490 bit down to Geological setting per below. ResMar 21:22, 17 July 2011 (UTC)

• You have two sources currently in the lead, one of which is only found at that point. Per WP:LEAD, the lead should have no information not in the body. Information from these sources should be moved into the main article text if not already there. I notice the description of stratovolcanoes is currently not in the body.

Done. ResMar 21:22, 17 July 2011 (UTC)

• I would think information about the most recent eruption(s) would be useful to mention here. Try to make sure that all sections in the article are mentioned in the lead in some way, at the moment it seems to me that a short description of structure would be helpful.

Done. ResMar 21:22, 17 July 2011 (UTC)

Geological setting

• "As the plate moves deeper into the earth, the increasing pressure results in the loss of volatiles from various hydrous minerals, especially chlorite, and the addition of water to the mantle wedge between the subducting and overriding plates lowers the melting point and causes magma to form." This is a very long sentence, which includes terminology (eg volatiles, mantle wedge) whose meaning may not be obvious to your layman reader. Although they are wikilinked, perhaps a slightly longer explanation would make things clearer.

I've tried to simplify it. ResMar 21:22, 17 July 2011 (UTC)

Etymology

• This is a fairly long paragraph, and I would suggest a simple break into two paragraphs separating the Aleut name information from the English name information.
• Since this section introduces the Aleut name as Chuginadak, the subsequent phrase "Mount Cleveland and the rest of Chuginadak were separate islands" may be confusing, especially as it still discusses Aleut lore. Something like "Mount Cleveland and the rest of what is now Chuginadak island were separated" would be clearer?
• This section includes the phrase "like the other volcanoes in the Four Islands group". The four islands group has not been mentioned before in the article, so to the unknowledgeable (aka me) it raises more questions than it answers at this point. Are all these islands volcanically related, and if so perhaps information about the history of the group could be added to Geological setting? (as I see there is some information in the next section) Additionally, whatever the first mention is, wikilink it at that point.
• How is Corwin's rock relevant?

Geography and structure

• Is there anything unique about it being almost symmetrical?
• When you say Mount Cleveland is "the highest of the four volcanoes" does that mean the volcanoes of the islands of the four mountains? Or are there four volcanoes on Chuginadak?
• What island is Nikolski on? Is it an Aleut settlement? Are there anything like research stations closer to Mount Cleveland?
• Information about the eastern half of the island does not seem entirely connected. I assume the volcanic peaks are related to each other, are they from the same magma chamber as Mount Cleveland? (excuse my ignorance if I'm saying complete rubbish) In addition, you mention glaciers on the east, are there any on Mount Cleveland?
• What is the significance of there being rhyolite?
• What does it mean for a volcano to be "heavily dissected"?
• The last couple of sentences here have some terminology that again could use some laymanising (laymanising?). By "The flows" does that mean hardened lava flows? By "variably vegetated" does that mean different kinds of vegetation or vegetation only occurring in some areas?
• Without knowing we are in the Holocene it is hard to understand the connection between the lack of erosion and the result that it is a Holocene volcano. Perhaps add something such as "...Mount Cleveland is likely a Holocene volcano, formed in the last 10,000 years."

Eruptive history

• Perhaps best to separate the description of vulcanian and strombolian eruptions, again for the layman.
• Who observed the different eruptions? Why are half of them only possible?
• Most of this section seems very good, and besides perhaps more explanation on the size of recent eruptions and the reason some eruptions were only possibly eruptions I can at the moment think of little else to say here.

I'm not an expert on volcanoes, and this article seems fairly thorough to me. It seems you know your volcanoes, and I hope what I have said is clear. If not, I'm watching this page. Good luck, Chipmunkdavis (talk) 14:04, 4 July 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I agree with all of the above comments and think this would have some trouble at FAC in its current state. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

• I think the lead should be more accessible - the word "Alaska" does not even appear until the last sentence on the lead. I think it should be in the first sentence (and yes, it is in the title)
• I also think most readers will be more familiar with the Aleutian Islands than the Aleutian Arc and would mention the islands in the first sentence and the arc later. I think I would also mention that the arc is a chain of volcanoes and give some idea of the rough number of volcanos in the chain itself.
• Can you give a distance from some more well known point too (Anchorage?) - does not have to be in the lead, but might help.
• Any reason not to list the height of summit in the lead? It is in the infobox.
• Very nice free 1982 photo of Mount Cleveland here
• The above photo's information mentions that the island / mount are in the Alaska Maritime National Wildlife Refuge, which is also shown pretty clearly on this mape of the refuge - here (PDF) - the refuge should be mentioned in the article.
• I was also surprised there was nothing on vegetation and animal life that inhabit the slopes of the mountain - the description for File:Alaska's Aleutian Island (ASTER).jpg mentions vegetation too
• I found File:Islands of Four Mountains.jpg to be another striking image which appears to show steam emissions too. I also noticed the article uses both "Four Islands group" (in Etymology) and "Islands of Four Mountains" (in Geography and structure), which seems needlessly confusing. If it should be "Four Mountains island group" or something similar in Etymology, I would link it there instead.
• Would a map of the Four Mountains island group help? Open Street Map could be used.
• The Islands of Four Mountains article says Mount Cleveland was shown on a Russian map from 1826 or so (as on the islands of four mountains) - assuming this is accurate, it should also be in this article.
• So it is in a wildlife refuge and the Russians mapped it and the article says nothing about flora or fauna. One of the FAC criteria is comprehensiveness. If I can find these missing things just poking around a little, I think there is likely more out there to include.
• Problem sentence It was named "Mount Cleveland" by a U.S. Coast and Geodetic Survey expedition in 1894, when it was originally observed by the USS Concord; like the other volcanoes in the Four Islands group, Mount Cleveland was named after prominent American politicians at the time, Cleveland itself having been named after then-president Grover Cleveland.[10][9] First off the sentence is too long and should be split. Second (minor point) refs should be in numerical order (so [9][10]). Third, we already know the Aleuts observed this and it seems that the Russians did too, so "originally observed" seems very wrong. Fourth, it was not names after politicians (plural), it was named after Grover Cleveland (who was large but singular). Fifth - avoid passive voice where possible (usually a bit shorter to use active voice too). So I would tweak it to something like The USS Concord, on a U.S. Coast and Geodetic Survey expedition, observed the peak in 1894 and named it "Mount Cleveland" for then-president Grover Cleveland. All of the volcanoes in the Four Islands group were named for prominent American politicians of that era.[9][10]
• This could use a copy edit.
• Is it possible to date volcanoes in any meaningful way - does anyone have a scientific estimate as to how old this mountain / volcano is? Even if that is not known, I assume there is some sort of rough date / age for the Aleutian arc / islands?
• Since the Chlorite group article lists quite a few species known as chlorites (7 or 8), shouldn't this article use the plural (chlorites, not chlorite)?
• In Geography and structure I would discuss the peak first and then the rest of the island (now it is peak, island, more peak)
• What makes this more notable than the other previous eruptions? The first notable eruption from Mount Cleveland was a Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) 3 Vulcanian eruption that occurred between June 10 and June 13, 1944.
• Why the inconsistent capitalizations on Vulcanian and Strombolian?
• Watch WP:OVERLINKing
• Avoid non-specific time expressions The volcano has erupted at least 21 times in the last 230 years,[15] with the most recent beginning on May 30 2010 and ending in late May or early June.[18] That was true in 2010, but now it is 2011 and strictly speaking it is 231 years now.
• Also avoid words like today - can use "as of 2011" or if the start date is known "Since YEAR, the Alaska Volcano Observatory monitors activity at Mount Cleveland using satellite imagery.
• I note that Brianboulton and Ealdgyth both thought the non-published source should not be used here (I know this from Brian's talk page)
• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:39, 13 July 2011 (UTC)