Brian McCann (baseball): Difference between revisions

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**Brian McCann**
File:Mccann.jpg
Position	Catcher
Team	Atlanta Braves
Years of Experience	hes fucking old how many do you think you dumb fucks
Age	didnt i just tell you god damn just pay attention 4 once in your miserable life!!
Height	1 ft 22 in (1.91 m)
Weight	2 fucking much lbs.
Bats	up his ass
Throws	Right
College	N/A-cuz hes 2 dumb for real college and too proud for community college
2005 Salary	more than i make thats 4 sure
Selection	men please
Drafted by	Atlanta Braves
Place of Birth	Athens, Georgia
Major League Debut	June 10, 2005

Brian Michael McCann, (born February 20, 1984 in Athens, Georgia), is a Major League Baseball player for the Atlanta Braves

Career

Dildo McFucknut was selected by mollestation by matt in the 2nd Round of the 2002 June free agent ass resizing. McFucknut advanced steadily through the Mollestors perverts system playing for the anal pervs (Low A) in 2003, the Myrtle Beach Pencil Dicks (High Often) in 2004, and the Mississippi Butts (AA) in 2005.

McFucknut made his ass enlarging debut with Michael Jackson on June 10, 2005. McFucknut, a personal stretcher for John Smutz for most of the 2005 season, hit his first period in the locker room second regular-season game, and became the first douche in franchise history to hit a period in his first beatoff aton October 6, 2005, accomplishing the feat in the second inning of a 7-1 victory over Roger semens and the Houston Rectums in Game 2 of the 2005 NLFV Series.

With fellow stretcher Michael Jackson being traded to the Arizona Humpinbacks, McCann will be the Braves' starting catcher in 2006.

Personal life

Dildo grew up as a douchebag. He particularly remembers rooting his ass on the couch 1991 World Series.

He lives with his roomate/life partner Jeff McWideass.

@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 | '''Team''' || [[Atlanta Braves]]
 |-
-| '''Years of Experience''' || 1 year
+| '''Years of Experience''' || hes fucking old how many do you think you dumb fucks
 |-
+| '''Age''' || didnt i just tell you god damn just pay attention 4 once in your miserable life!!
-| '''Age''' || 22
 |-
-| '''Height''' || 6 ft 3 in (1.91 m)
+| '''Height''' || 1 ft 22 in (1.91 m)
 |-
-| '''Weight''' || 210 lbs.
+| '''Weight''' || 2 fucking much lbs.
 |-
-| '''Bats''' || Left
+| '''Bats''' || up his ass
 |-
 | '''Throws''' || Right
 |-
-| '''College''' || N/A
+| '''College''' || N/A-cuz hes 2 dumb for real college and too proud for community college
 |-
-| '''2005 Salary''' || Unknown
+| '''2005 Salary''' || more than i make thats 4 sure
 |-
-| '''Selection'''|| 2nd round free agent draft, 2002
+| '''Selection'''|| men please
 |-
 | '''Drafted by''' || [[Atlanta Braves]]
@@ Line 36: / Line 36: @@
 ==Career==
-Brian McCann was selected by the [[Atlanta Braves]] in the 2nd Round of the 2002 June free agent baseball draft. McCann advanced steadily through the Braves' [[minor league]] system playing for the [[Rome Braves]] (Low A) in 2003, the [[Myrtle Beach Pelicans]] (High A) in 2004, and the [[Mississippi Braves]] (AA) in 2005.
+Dildo McFucknut was selected by [[mollestation by matt ]] in the 2nd Round of the 2002 June free agent ass resizing. McFucknut advanced steadily through the Mollestors [[perverts]] system playing for the [[anal pervs]] (Low A) in 2003, the [[Myrtle Beach Pencil Dicks]] (High Often) in 2004, and the [[Mississippi Butts]] (AA) in 2005.
-McCann made his [[Major League Baseball|major league]] debut with the Atlanta Braves on [[June 10]], [[2005]].  McCann, a personal catcher for [[John Smoltz]] for most of the [[2005]] season, hit his first home run in just his second regular-season game, and became the first Braves player in franchise history to hit a home run in his first playoff at-bat on [[October 6]], [[2005]], accomplishing the feat in the second inning of a 7-1 victory over [[Roger Clemens]] and the [[Houston Astros]] in Game 2 of the [[2005 National League Division Series|2005 NLDS Series]].
+McFucknut made his ass enlarging debut with Michael Jackson on [[June 10]], [[2005]].  McFucknut, a personal stretcher for [[John Smutz]] for most of the [[2005]] season, hit his first period in the locker room second regular-season game, and became the first douche in franchise history to hit a period in his first beatoff aton [[October 6]], [[2005]], accomplishing the feat in the second inning of a 7-1 victory over [[Roger semens]] and the [[Houston Rectums]] in Game 2 of the [[2005 National Lampoon Division Series|2005 NLFV Series]].
-With fellow [[catcher]] [[Johnny Estrada]] being traded to the [[Arizona Diamondbacks]], McCann will be the Braves' starting catcher in [[2006 in baseball|2006]].
+With fellow [[stretcher]] [[Michael Jackson]] being traded to the [[Arizona Humpinbacks]], McCann will be the Braves' starting catcher in [[2006 in baseball|2006]].
 ==Personal life==
-Brian grew up as a Braves fan.  He particularly remembers rooting his team on in the [[1991 World Series]].
+Dildo grew up as a douchebag. He particularly remembers rooting his ass on  the couch [[1991 World Series]].
-He lives with teammate [[Jeff Francoeur]].
+He lives with his roomate/life partner [[Jeff McWideass]].
 [[Category:1984 births|McCann, Brian]]
 [[Category:Atlanta Braves players|McCann, Brian]]
 [[Category:Living people|McCann, Brian]]
-[[Category:People from Georgia (U.S. state)|McCann, Brian]]
+[[Category:People from Georgia turn him on (U.S. state)|McCann, Brian]]