Talk:On Her Majesty's Secret Service (novel)/GA1: Difference between revisions
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*"what is known as the "Blofeld trilogy", which begins with Thunderball, had an interlude with The Spy Who Loved Me and concluded with You Only Live Twice." If TSWLM is not part of the trilogy (and a trilogy should be three books, really.), perhaps leave it out here. Just because it was published between the other books does not mean the trilogy must include it. Unless I'm missing something. |
*"what is known as the "Blofeld trilogy", which begins with Thunderball, had an interlude with The Spy Who Loved Me and concluded with You Only Live Twice." If TSWLM is not part of the trilogy (and a trilogy should be three books, really.), perhaps leave it out here. Just because it was published between the other books does not mean the trilogy must include it. Unless I'm missing something. |
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*"Bond finds him thorough the College of Arms in London and, after meeting him and discovering his latest plans, attacks the centre where he is based, although Blofeld escapes in the confusion." A bit vague here: I initially read this as meaning he found him within the College of Arms, and I think it could be specified where he finds him. |
*"Bond finds him thorough the College of Arms in London and, after meeting him and discovering his latest plans, attacks the centre where he is based, although Blofeld escapes in the confusion." A bit vague here: I initially read this as meaning he found him within the College of Arms, and I think it could be specified where he finds him. |
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*"Bond also meets and marries in the story": Meets and marries who? I would also suggest framing it: "Bond meets and falls in love with X during the story. The pair marry at the end of the story but Blofeld kills Bond's wife hours after the ceremony". |
*"Bond also meets and marries in the story": Meets and marries who? I would also suggest framing it: "Bond meets and falls in love with X during the story. The pair marry at the end of the story but Blofeld kills Bond's wife hours after the ceremony". And I think we should name her here. |
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*I think, per WP:LEAD, the lead section needs more from the article: the background, characters and critical reception should be covered in more detail. --[[User:Sarastro1|Sarastro1]] ([[User talk:Sarastro1|talk]]) 21:06, 2 December 2011 (UTC) |
*I think, per WP:LEAD, the lead section needs more from the article: the background, characters and critical reception should be covered in more detail. --[[User:Sarastro1|Sarastro1]] ([[User talk:Sarastro1|talk]]) 21:06, 2 December 2011 (UTC) |
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;Plot |
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*"Tracy' to her friends": A little informal. Maybe simply add "known as Tracy" or even "(Tracy)" when she is introduced. |
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*"the only way to save his daughter": From? |
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*College of Arms "lead": Probably not important for the article, but how did they know that it was Blofeld? It suggests he was not so hard to find! |
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*Grenade: The tossing of one grenade seems a little detailed for the plot section, unless I am missing its significance. |
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Revision as of 21:24, 2 December 2011
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 22:49, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
I will review this in the next day or two. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:49, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
- Lead
- "Fleming wrote the book whilst the first film in the Eon Productions series of films, Dr. No, was being filmed nearby." May be better to say where it was being written and filmed rather than leave it hanging.
- "what is known as the "Blofeld trilogy", which begins with Thunderball, had an interlude with The Spy Who Loved Me and concluded with You Only Live Twice." If TSWLM is not part of the trilogy (and a trilogy should be three books, really.), perhaps leave it out here. Just because it was published between the other books does not mean the trilogy must include it. Unless I'm missing something.
- "Bond finds him thorough the College of Arms in London and, after meeting him and discovering his latest plans, attacks the centre where he is based, although Blofeld escapes in the confusion." A bit vague here: I initially read this as meaning he found him within the College of Arms, and I think it could be specified where he finds him.
- "Bond also meets and marries in the story": Meets and marries who? I would also suggest framing it: "Bond meets and falls in love with X during the story. The pair marry at the end of the story but Blofeld kills Bond's wife hours after the ceremony". And I think we should name her here.
- I think, per WP:LEAD, the lead section needs more from the article: the background, characters and critical reception should be covered in more detail. --Sarastro1 (talk) 21:06, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
- Plot
- "Tracy' to her friends": A little informal. Maybe simply add "known as Tracy" or even "(Tracy)" when she is introduced.
- "the only way to save his daughter": From?
- College of Arms "lead": Probably not important for the article, but how did they know that it was Blofeld? It suggests he was not so hard to find!
- Grenade: The tossing of one grenade seems a little detailed for the plot section, unless I am missing its significance.