Wikipedia:List of cabals

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Composite image of a cabalist, based on witness accounts. Please note the villianous moustache and villainous arched unibrow.

This is a list of the cabals which dominate Wikipedia, ruthlessly abusing its content for their own evil purposes. All of these cabals control the encyclopedia, and dictate its content, although it is unclear how all the different cabals can each control Wikipedia at once. It is likely that there is One True Cabal which secretly controls all the other cabals, but no one yet knows which cabal is this master-cabal. (Except, of course, the master-cabal members themselves.)

Many brave martyrs have risked their editing careers, nay, their very lives to expose these cabals. If you are aware of any other cabals, and you're feeling lucky, please add them to this list.

Active cabals

Administrator-related cabals

THE Administrator Cabal

First floated by Jim Wales in October 2001, THE Administrator Cabal is by far the best known of all the cabals; this special cabal (a) totally exists; (b) totally opposes all reasoned arguments consisting of 88-paragraph flames justifying the use of swear words QUITE PROPERLY used to describe the WHOLLY OUT OF LINE editor who just shredded MY EXCELLENT AND THOUGHTFUL piece extolling the virtues of insert your band/album/fave group here and (c) totally should be banned. Anyone thinking otherwise will be auto-deleted by the said cabal. This cabal typically surfaces on musical group pages but can also be encountered in political zones and defending so-called (by non-Cabalites) administrator vanity pages which of course do not exist, at least according to the administrator cabal. All communications with this cabal usually end with the cabal claiming that Jimbo Wales approved our viewpoint. These sysops are the enemies of the developer cabal who attempt to destroy them.

Adminbot cabal

This secret-open-open-secret cabal of undisclosed membership does zomgevil unholy magic with their avatars that will someday be the undoing of Wikipedia (they are openly-secretly developing an AI that will replace every admin, but shh! don't tell anybody).

Collective AdMin Cabal

(Also referred to as the 'Hive Mind Cabal') This term is used to describe the group consciousness of the Administative Rhelm. A recently elected administrator (called dro-Ed) is linked to the administrative collective by a subspace network that ensures each member is effectively and constantly supervised. The collective "hive mind" is broadcast over a subspace domain similar to that utilized by "ON-Star'GPS systems. Being part of the Collective Cabal offers significant administative advantages to the individual dro-Eds The group consciousness of the AdMin Collective can help in tactical staging and implementation of "Ad-swarm", an important instrument in the Collectives' ability to adapt with great speed to all defensive tactics used against them.

Communist admin cabal

The rougest of the rouge, this cabal of admins exists to protect the pedophilic cabal (see below).

Interwiki cabal

This cabal is run by en: admins who use their evil power to control other language wikis.

Name-censoring Cabal

This cabal blocks users because of their usernames. The reason why they do this, according to [name censored], is because they have failed to read every single message ever posted to the mailing list. This cabal is also alphebetically challenged.

RfA Cabal

These admins control RfA, so that only their friends are made admins. They also issue "some kind of certificate you hang on your wall, much like a diploma."

Rouge admin Cabal

A comic illustrating cabal

Main page: Wikipedia:Rouge admin

These rouge admins, based on the flimisiest of grounds - policy and consensus - require not The Truth™ but what is verifiable. Do not confuse them with the Sysop Cabal. Members are known to favour the use of lipstick at all times, regardless of gender or body part in question. Prerequisite to join is an existing membership of the Administrator cabal. (Note for prospective members: there is an extremely limited range of approved shades of rouge).

Wikipedia maintenance cabals

These cabals dominate Wikipedia through various forms of maintenance and work done in the background.

Account Creator Cabal

A restricted-membership cabal with account creation rights. This cabal controls who has and hasn't an account on Wikipedia. WeThey know if a person is going to commit COI or anything else so we ban them before they do it (or even have an account) to "prevent damage or disruption to Wikipedia". If you were damaging or disrupting Wikipedia, and you find that you cannot log on any more because your username does not exist, you know that the Account "Creator" Cabal are at work.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. In Soviet Wikipedia, account create you.

ArbCabal

This group controls the ArbCom. Cunningly, the "Arb" stands for both arbitration and arbitrary.

Barbeques Cabal

This group wants to see all vandals roasted. Or skewered and turned on a spit. Failing that, at least, can wikimeetups be held at places that have good BBQ? And no, no member has ever said "Put another shrimp on the barbie". You're thinking of the Australian Cabal, which clearly would have said "prawn" anyway.

The Bohemian Revolutionary Cabal

A cabal under construction, its purpose is yet to be revealed... Your guess is as good as mine.

Bot-owner Cabal

The bot cabal is a group of elite bot-owners who realized something: You don't need to follow the rules to be a successful editor. You just need enough resources and a clever enough algorithm.

Capitalist Cabal

This cabal owns the beach where the Groupthinking Cabal walks. They also are negotiating with the MexiCabal for "naming rights" for the Taquerias. Rumors have spread that this cabal is in negotiation with the Yournotthebossofme Group of Polymorphic Sysops (GYPS) who desire charging a fee for editing at Wikipedia. Overheard during negotiations was this upsetting tidbit......."and these idiots are working for free. Maybe we should charge them. Let's say $10 every 1/2 hr. We could be as rich as Gates!~"

The Cavil Cabal

This group of nefarious naysayers are always finding fault--with everything. They make mountains out of moleholes and turn quality articles into oatmeal. They continuously carp and complain and will absolutely not stop. Their very presence brings consternation, despair, and existential angst. Unlike other cabals their members operate singly. Once an article falls into the hands of one of these hollow self-important "heroes" the possibility it will ever see the light of day has disappeared. Like the Spanish Inquisition, their three... no, four... main weapons are fear, intransigence, logorrhea, and an almost fanatical devotion to process. Attempts to reason with this cabal have resulted in partial insanity, swelling of the joints and severe twitching.

Deletionist Cabal

This cabal infringes on the right of all Wikipedians to add completely unverified and speculatory material to articles. Down with deletionism! According to a witness of one of their meetings, the dogma is "Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia delete you!"

Delete the Deletionist Cabal

This obscure yet important cabal attempts to convince deletionists that the Supreme Act of Pure Deletionism is self-deletion. A favored, documented tactic is to make the targeted deletionist believe that "WikiPedia IS Paper" and they are taking up valuable space. So far over 37 "deletionists" have fallen for this obvious ruse and have self-destructed. WikiWorld is a safer place!

Developer Cabal

Further information: Wikipedia:Do NOT bite the developers

This cabal was first mentioned by Jimbo as a possible check on the power of the sysop cabal. There is no confirmation that it exists, but of course it does, even though it does not exist.

Election guide writing cabal

Certain users write guides to the ArbCom elections in hopes of influencing the results. The guides have been linked prominently from the election navigation template. This serves to give a false imprimatur that the guides are "official", when in fact they are nothing of the sort. The guide writers have formed a cabal to vehemently resist any sort of election reform that might remove these precious links.

Ex-President Cabal

With the common knowledge that former Presidents of the United States have very little to do, this cabal was formed to provide a source of backroom advice for Wikipedia administrators. On the rare occasions that they get together, they are often mistaken for the rock band Kiss. False modesty, flim-flammery, duplicity, stealth and blamelessness are but a small portion of the lessons that the EP Cabal passes on. Some available CD's include:

• Unimpeachable:What can they do?,
• Faultless Obfuscation:How to use alot of fifty cent words without saying anything,
• Coverup:What they don't know won't hurt them,
• From Class Clown to Ruler of the Free World: I did it, so can you!

The Fake Cabal Adding Cabal

Dedicated to adding fake cabals to the List of Cabals. So far, they have infiltrated this listing nowhere, because they want to they don't exist.

Groupthinking cabal

This cabal has not had an original thought in years. This cabal also enjoys "juvenile insults", "power-tripping" and long walks on the beach.

You, too, can cabal.

The High Communist Council Cabal

This cabal is a sworn group of editors that will resist the Evil One and protect Wikipedia not matter what the odds are. This is a super super private group but please do put your name in just in case. Anybody who is a rebel, is ready to resist and hates being ruled under a dictatorship should apply!!!!!

The Hypnosis Cabal

"Your'e getting sleepy...your eyelids are heavy...the more you read this, the sleepier you get...count backwards from 10...you feel relaxed...9...your head feels as light as air...8...all tension has left your body...7...Just a sec. Phone call!"

This is nefarious rouge mercenary cabal works to develop a system of compulsory meritocracy so that they may achieve their clandestine goals. Their members specialize in embedding commands in articles that work on the subconscious. While this cabal has infiltrated most other cabals, they are believed to be subservient to the One True Cabal. You are working under their control right now.

Inquisitorial cabal

This rather vague and non-specific cabal heinously forces users to be accountable for their edits.

In The News cabal

How long until the In the news Cabal puts you through their "process"?

This small group believes they own Template:In the news and seems... insular. Process-wonks, they have developed "precedent" over time to guide their decisions. Members include admins who, suspiciously, spend a lot of time on mainpage stuff.

Indian IRC Goons' cabal

Led by the sekrit Canadian killer nurse Samir and his faithful crony Nearly Headless Nick

"IRC fairy" cabal

When they're not chatting about random nonsense on IRC, they're secretly plotting the downfall of those unwilling to join them. They have their IRC friends vote them into adminship, and occasionally for the sake of appearance do a little reverting and admining. And of course, they have wings and sparkly tights.

Invisible Cabal

Main page: User:Lights/Invisible Cabal

The newest cabal so far, they plan to attack other cabals and userpages with an invisible tag! They must be stopped!

Jimbo Cabal

This cabal consists of a single "rouge" editor that sits around in his underwear, probably in his parents' basement, on an old relic Apple computer. When his mother yells down to him, "What are you doing?"....He yells back...."O..Nothing...JUST CHANGING THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT!...What's for dinner?" His only friends are a gaggle of Stars Wars Fanatics that use his room as a clubhouse. They are not in the cabal.

Jokes must die cabal

This one moves stuff to WP:BJAODN for no apparent reason. Then they nominate WP:BJAODN for deletion.
Then they delete any references to cabals or nominate this page for deletion. On Wikipedia, Cabal deletes you!

The League of friends cabal

Main page: User:Gaia Octavia Agrippa/League of friends cabal

This cabal consists of very friendly wikipedians who are willing to welcome all good hearted wikipedians into their midst's. It is pretty much a social cabal whose main aim is to share the knowledge of the cabals members.

Love cabal

Main page: User:Arknascar44/Love Cabal

This cabal add little hearts to the top of user's userpages to promote WikiLove, but that is just the cover story.

Mafia-style hostage-taking cabal

After assassins failed to eliminate the GodKing, this cabal was formed to take the database hostage for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Brion has been repeatedly approached to join this cabal, but has always refused to join.

Master cabal

This shadowy group limits the influence of its enemies by locking the database from editing.

Mediation cabal

Main page: Wikipedia:Mediation Cabal

A shadowy group which censors articles in the guise of "mediation".

Megalomaniac Cabal

A group of editors, many of whom have identified themselves with power-mad names, out to take over the world. Several theories have been put forward as to how they will attempt to do this, most of them involving computer viruses and pictures of underclad actresses.

OMGCom cabal

Mata Hari, patron saint of OMGcom.

WP:OMGcom welcomes all users who can spread drama quickly and efficiently across Wikipedia. The OMGcom signup list might reveal its membership, or it may be a smokescreen for the real OMGcom.

Open and friendly cabal

This cabal welcomes anyone who can "write some articles, act reasonably, don't be *too* self centered and sarcastic, [and] join the mailing list." Obviously, It's a trap! (Many other cabals use this group for recruiting purposes.

Secret cabal

The members of this cabal issue "sealed proclamations" declaring that certain users are banned. Obviously members of the cabal, and admins who enforce the bans can read the proclamations, while other people cannot. Perhaps they are written in some kind of invisible ink, and cabal members are issued with special glasses to be able to read them.

Secret mailing list cabal

These people communicate exclusively by means of secret mailing lists to which only they have access. Nothing more is known about them, because no-one else can read their emails. It is highly likely that they talk about very interesting things.

Shrubbery cabal

This cabal works solely to exclude Ni-sayers from participating in Wikipedia.

Skype Cabal

The Skype Cabal consists of editors who collaborate on Skype amongst other things. Originally started by User:Durova a few years back, it has been reactivated and looks forward to hearing from you. Membership demands that you have a Skype username but not much else is needed here.

The Vandalism Cabal

This cabal was originally made up of disgruntled Wikipedia editors, however it now includes large numbers of high-school teachers who wish to discredit Wikipedia as a reliable source of information, discouraging its use for term-papers. Lately this cabal has organized, utilizing vandalism-bots in order to deter editors from focusing on certain articles.

Content cabals

These cabals focus on some form of POV pushing.

Aes Sedai Cabal

This cabal consists of all the Aes Sedai present in the world. Commonly believed to be the ultimate embodiment of feminist manipulation, they seek to influence Wikipedia in various subversive ways. It is very likely that the Grey Ajah is responsible for the creation of this cabal. They have made no efforts to conceal themselves, as they have taken the Three Oaths and are incapable of lying--meaning that one should pay strict attention to every word an Aes Sedai says so as not to be misled. It is interesting to note that the Amyrlin Seat is convinced that both a Darkfriend Cabal and an Asha'man Cabal exist, but she has yet to provide evidence of such claims.

Allegations of Apartheid Cabal

See Wikipedia:Allegations of allegations of apartheid apartheid

Anti-Negativity Cabal

As most ordinary people know, there is a huge, perhaps universal cabal setup by "the man" against negative numbers in general, and specifically whenever negative numbers meet seemingly benign concepts such as fractions. There has been an historical prejudice against negative fractions to the point that historical revisionism has been setup to avoid any instance that negative fractions even exist. A courageous editor (known widely as the "Defender of Negativity") has setup a way to donate to the cause of the under-represented negative fraction whose very existence on the Wikipedia borders on extinction. The Defender of Negativity has also proposed affirmative action by apparently using negative fractions in places where there is no apparent reason for or against them.

Go to my talk page if you want to give a negative fraction a new vision for life and a chance to make a difference... before it's too late. Remember, negatives are just like the positives; they just look a little different on the outside. Don't be ashamed any longer; stick up for them when you edit articles and puppies will frolic on grass and stuff. I like to saw logs! (talk) (a.k.a. Defender of Negativity)

— from Talk:Fraction_(mathematics)#Afraid_of_negativity?, emphasis added for effect.

Anti-Nintendo Cabal

Ask here.

Anti-Red Faction Cabal

This "self-congratulatory" cabal, formed to destroy User:Lir, is now the mortal enemy of "the children of Lir".

Anti-Scientology Cabal

The Anti-Scientologist cabal are crack-addicted squirrels prostitutes who enjoy making fun of L. Ron Hubbard on Wikinews, and who also post on Enturbulation.org. Must not be allowed to touch any article referencing Scientology; lest they corrupt the NPOV of the article.

Anti-Scientologists have been known not to read National Enquirer containing articles about alleged aliens scientologists John Travolta, Priscilla Presley, and Tom Cruise.

Atheist cabal

The Atheist Cabal is determined to scrub all mention of God from Wikipedia. Their greatest achievement so far has been the elimination of the terms 'BC' and 'AD'.

Big Brother's personal cabal

This cabal marks things they don't like as CRIMETHINK and vaporizes their political enem-- Banned users are unusers who never existed. It is thought that this cabal may be controled by shapeshifting lizard-people.

YOU SAW NOTHING TODAY.

BLP Cabal

The newest and most vigorous cabal on Wikipedia. Their M.O. is to utter the phrase "BLP" as loudly and forcefully as possible before mercilessly editing/deleting supposed biographies of living people (and dead people too, strangely). They seem to be intimately familiar with the inner machinations of the ArbCabal. (Not to be confused with the now defunct "BLT" Cabal which promoted the consumption of "Club" sandwiches. The BLT cabal disbanded when the price of toothpicks skyrocketed)

Catbal

The evil cabal led by Ceiling Cat to permeate the use of cat images throughout Wikipedia, especially on the Main Page. This cable is swarm enemies of the Puppy Cabal. MOAR KATZ!

CIA Cabal

"Staffers of the Wikipedia online 'encyclopedia' - now one of the most dominant media websites in the entire world - show signs of being CIA-type operatives, directly engaged in US-funded propaganda operations against US citizens."

Anti-Christian Cabal

Underground cabal that uses parody and poker games to invite unsuspecting users into their lair for conversion and Lithuanian chit-chat. If encountered, smile and nod your head, but decline any offers of cool, refreshing Kool-Aid. Christian cabalists are all brain-washed and have an intuitive understanding of how to brainwash others. To them, factual material is just bait. Beware their "spirituality is the opposite of brainwashing" technique—you're being brainwashed.

Dalit Cabal

This cabal (which takes it's name from the Untouchables of India) has a possible membership of at least 160 million individuals. If the day comes when the Dalits all have computers and internet access, look out! Their goal is to find a reality of existence WITHOUT the Indian Caste System.

FARAWAY

F*d*r*l Ag*nts R*nn*ng All W*k*s And Y*h** -- protecting National Security by controlling Website content, though some "C" a plot behind it all.

Gay Cabal

Wooh, massive gay conspiracy...

Supreme Al-Gayda Leader, Durka Durka and all his Wiki-followers (inside the turban).

Also known as the gay caballeros, this group keeps a queer eye on all of Wikipedia, in addition to providing some of the best gay porn references around. The group believes everyone is gay and anyone that says they aren't, is in denial. Vandals of gay articles will be made into bottoms on sight. The group is suspected of being part of a larger gay mafia called Al-Gayda. Calling a member of this group a homophobe is a compliment, obviously. Fear them!

Geographical cabals

Cabals of one particular country.

Australian Cabal

Strewth! Led by Ta bu shi da yu Alphax fuddlemark Mark and Alphax (jointly), these bleeding "Aussies" aim to take over Wikimedia, "and hence all international commerce, and politics." It is rumored that Sarah may be secretly commanding the group. Reports indicate Sarah's prowess in the art of Vandal Whacking, especially against rogue elements of the Canadian cabal, making the Australian cabal one of the most feared but respected groups on the wiki. Their end goal is unclear - but you just know they're planning something.

The main aim of the Australian cabal is to:

1. Destroy the Canadian cabal  Done
2. Take over the world  In progress

Canadian Cabal

The enemy of the Australian cabal. Not much is known of them. It is believed that the cabal is led by Greeves.

The Great Wall of China Cabal

The major focus of this cabal are the Talk:pages. Guidelines restricting the appropriate edits have been established for everyone OTHER than the members of the cabal. All services provided by the members of the GWCC are completely free and are furnished for the "good life" of the end user. For Instance... No editor may use the talkpages to:

• injure the reputation of Wikipedia organs (no one really knows what that means);
• incite or resist, or incite to resist, resistence toward incitement;
• incite to overthrow the elected and lifelong serving officials of Wikipedia;
• incite hatred or discrimination or feelings of resentment or retaliation or intollerence or any other natural emotion toward administrators;
• promote superstition, sexually aggresive suggestions, or comments about mothers toward administrators;
• distort the Truth, as determined by any 3 administrators (see:concensus) within 1/2 hour of each other.

Members of this cabal can be distinguished by the gilded and mosaicked handles of their mops. Newer members are adorning their mops with feathers and long tassles. Veteran cabalists frown on this practice as ostentatious.

MexiCabal

Furthering the Mexican agenda on Wikipedia. Also, opening many taquerias around the globe! See:Jalepeno Cabal

Polish Cabal

This group of Polish editors pushes pro-Polish POV, with the ultimate aim of turning English Wikipedia into a Polish Wikipedia. So far, they have gotten to the "P".

Texan Cabal

Main page: User:JCarriker/TC

This cabal has its evil lair somewhere in Texas. The Texan Cabal claims to be dedicated to social bonding through nefarious and nonsensical activities, but due to the size of Texas its true intentions and activities are hard to track. The Texan cabal considers the anti-Texan cabal a non-entity and of no consequence whatsoever...like a Texas Longhorn steer to a prairie dog. This is, of course, because the Anti-Texan Cabal is so secretive.

Anti-texan Cabal

Quite assuredly the most secretive, mysterious, and dangerous of all cabals. It has been postulated that this group propagates propaganda covering most of the world's anti-texas sentiment. This group can not be verified, and therefore this should not be on Wikipedia, but your pure, unabashed hatred for texas allows it to continue. You really hate texas. This group never capitalizes the English mutation "texas", and only tolerates it above due to the neutrality of this page and the groups's inherent sense of honor and respect, something the slimy, hated texans lack. This people know the only good thing to come out of texas is Booby Miles. And maybe Ivory Christian and Mike Winchell, but definitely not midland, a hive of scum and villainy concentrating on keeping Booby out. Everyone hates texas. It's also worth noting that the texan Cabal thinks this Cabal is a non-entity like a texas Longhorn to a prarie dog, which of course means that the texan THAT put it in thinks that a prarie dog considers texas Longhorns to be non-entities, which is not true (unless the texan in question is referring to the University of texas Longhorns). This cabal recognizes the Republic of Molossia, due to its ban on anything from texas except for Kelly Clarkson, which is consistent with the Cabal's ideas.

Antarctican Cabal

Made up of dedicated lazy-butt scientists and researchers who waste precious bandwidth editing Wikipedia from Antarctica's many research bases. It is probably best if you don't join this cabal because nearly all of the members are sullen, withdrawn, and anti-social. You would also have to live in Antarctica year-round. It is speculated that they have a military base in Antarctica. Cabal members specialize in posting pictures of penguins and whales, and it is their goal that by 2015, every article will have a picture of a penguin with the slogan "Antarctica Rox!"

On file: Penguin Cabal

Earth Cabal

Main page: User:Hirohisat/Earth Cabal

This cabal is dedicated to tagging user pages with its tag. This cabal is based on Earth, the land of global warming.

Humanist cabal

This cabal consists of a group of forward-thinking humanists (as the un-original title of their cabal implies). They constantly strive to eliminate all entries that promote supernaturalism and religion, in the interest of preserving a progressive, secular attitude on Wikipedia--hence the repeated allegations that Wikipedia possesses a significant liberal bent. A primary facet of their belief system is that they seek to define man by classifying the species as something akin to a malformed ape. Although large in membership and far-reaching in power, they were only recently unearthed on January 10th, 2008. In retrospect, their effects on Wikipedia's content is quite obvious, although the elusive cabal was unable to be specifically labeled for a long time. It is suspected that this cabal was exposed by the Christian cabal. If this hypothesis is true, it is then likely that the person responsible for identifying the Christian cabal is a member of the Humanist cabal.

Ivory tower cabal

A brotherhood of historians who slavishly follow historical orthodoxy.

Japanophile cabal

Have you just been totally bewildered by a longwinded and nearly unintelligible article, peppered with pseudo-Japanese words you don't have a chance of understanding, which waxes philosophical about a minor anime plot cliché? You've stumbled across the work of the Japanophile cabal. One of the oldest and most powerful cabals, its prolificity has prompted Wikimedia Foundation founder Jimbo Wales to say, "[...] Wikipedia is really, really, really strong in the area of Japanese cartoon characters. And, if you push that 'random' button, I think about 33% of what you find in Wikipedia is Japanese cartoon characters [...]". Though they are not particularly intrinsically quick to wrathfulness, a surefire way to provoke the ire of the Japanophile cabal is to challenge their knowledge of the Japanese language garnered entirely by watching undubbed Japanese cartoons with questionable fan-made subtitles. When provoked, the Japanophile cabal typically reacts by calling the offending party "baka" a lot and roleplaying various scenarios wherein the offending party is killed in a dramatic fashion.

Kabbalah cabal

A Kabbalist cabalist mainly edits articles about Kabbalistic texts such as the Zohar or about famous Kabbalists such as Isaac Luria, Madonna, or Britney Spears. They may take membership at WikiProject Kabbalah.

The Knights of NPOV Cabal

Main page: Wikipedia:Knights of NPOV

This cabal appears to have the declared aim of ridding Wikipedia of all that which is perceived by community consensus to be POV, or that might possibly appear to do so at any point, past, present or future, as a possible result of which it can appear to be what may seem to some users perhaps to be somewhat vague. It does not yet appear to be apparent to most experts whether or not the cabal has done anything towards its stated or implicit aims. Unrelated to the knights who say NIH!

Masonic cabal

No such thing, and in any case they're busy "TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

ME activist cabal

Activists have allegedly taken over the myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) articles with their pro-organic propaganda and censorship of psychological factors.

Not a very effective cabal though, as there is no myalgic encephalomyelitis article and cognitive behavioural therapy dominates the CFS treatment section and subarticle.

Michael Jackson Cabal

A group of radical worshipers of Michael Jackson, whose edits often hurt the article.

Mormon Smokescreen Cabal

The Neutral Point of View and No Original Research policies were actually created by Mormons editors specifically to prevent the TRUTH about Mormonism from being exposed in a clear and concise manner, or, in other words, without being encumbered by attributions to critics, after all, there are no critics, only TRUTH. The Mormon Smokescreen Cabal was first exposed on the First Vision talk page.

Musicabal cabal

Though not usually recognized as dominant, this treblesome group supports each other for adminship and featured article status. Will horn in on any situation, drum up support, and back up their position with violins if necessary (or worse, violas). It is believed that this group secretly wishes the dominance of folk-pop fusion over all other genre of music.

Neo-Maoist Great Proletarian cabal

This "cyber-inquisition" is at the heart of the "techno-cult of ignorance", which aims to suppress completely legitimate branches of science such as Aetherometry.

Opera cabal

An over-protective group of editors known for their uncanny ability to control and dominate all articles that are in any way related to the limited world of Opera (said by some to be the most expensive entertainment vehicle ever created). Chewing gum in the presence of an Opera cabal member may result not only in a ban but a monetary fine as well. The crinkling of plastic wrappers is strictly forbidden. Of course, empty popcorn containers should never be thrown in the general direction of an Opera cabal member. "Chit-chatting and yammering on the talk pages should be punishable by removal and complete banishment from WP for up to a year", said I.M. Stuckupp, a residing officer of the Opera cabal. Members are affectionately called "Opera-tives' within the group.

Pagan cabal

This group kills off articles one at a time by ritually sacrificing NPOV, presumably in some kind of unholy ceremony.

Palm Tree Cabal

Plant a Palm tree in Wikipedia.

Pedophile Cabal

When you delve into exactly who the users are editing the "Internet's Encyclopedia" you find a vast pedophile cabal seeking to undermine it.

Penguin Cabal

Beware...

Main page: User:Ryulong/Penguin Cabal

This group is for obsessed penguin fanatics, and encourages spamming people's user pages with a penguin.Linus Torvalds is not a member of this cabal, nor is it anything to do with Linux. There is no Linux Cabal.

Saddam Hussein embarrassment cabal

This group of users aims to make Saddam Hussein look silly by calling him by his name. Apparently he should instead be referred to by his official presidential title.

Sandbox cabal

This cabal controls the sandbox, forcing edits to "not be offensive" and reverting them eventually anyway. Consists of some humans, but mainly of a bot.

Sean Whitton cabal

The Sean Whitton cabal intends to add subliminal messages to articles in order to make the world love Sean Whitton. AdventureQuest users are the most demographically susceptible to the promotion of Sean Whitton. The cabal's influence is unknown, and no one knows to what extent it has polluted young fertile minds. It has been suggested that Sean promotes the cabal by existing. Possibly a wannabe-cabal.

Sorcerers of St. Jerome

"Don't mess with me."

This evil cabal is dedicated to stifling the free and open sharing of opinions on Wikipedia. One of their key tactics is to actually check facts in order to destroy those who oppose them. Members of this cabal are initiated into the jealously-guarded secrets of inter-library loans, access to public databases, how to find library parking, and the use of the magical highlighter pen to assist comprehension. Some obsessive members have been known to commit financial suicide by purchasing rare books in order to check a footnote, which accounts for the high rate of attrition of this cabal. Their name comes from St. Jerome, patron saint of libraries—paradoxically a disputed position.

Spanish Inquisition Cabal

Using the historically effective tactics of the Spanish Inquisition, this cabal sends shivers down the collective spine of every good faith editor at Wikipedia. They are especially versed in the minutia of Wikipedia. No mattter what action an editor takes, the SIC can create a violation of policy. Even Jimbo Wales fears the arrival of this cabal to an edit war. Of course, nobody expects them. Note:CC/red velvet...SIC/red velour

Stalinists against Finland

This cabal operates in articles related to Finland and the World War II, trying to promote its Stalinist propaganda against the free western democratic truth. (See Talk:Continuation_War/Archive_4 for methods of operations) The cabal is active also in Russian Wikipedia under the name "Nazi Finns against Russia".

Team Peerage

Main page: Wikipedia:WikiProject Peerage

This group of users exercise control over Wikipedia's naming conventions in a nefarious effort to ensure the proper presentation of nobles and nobility in articles. Unlike most cabals, Team Peerage operates openly from their headquarters at WP:PEER.

Video Game Cabal

A cabal of Video Game addicts who can only focus on a single article at any one time. Their Impossible Mission (a title taken from the video game not the TV show of a similar name) is to promote the articles to GA or FA status and then move on to another single article and repeat the slow, arduous process. The cabal has yet to create a finished product. EVERYONE is welcome... but no-one shows up! They are too busy playing video games, their articles then left to be created by noobs.

White-collar American cabal

This cabal, comprising all white male American editors, is particularly opposed to communism. They edit all articles related to communism in order to push their POV. It is unclear how this cabal and the communist cabals can dominate the same articles at the same time, but clearly they do. Unlike the other cabals mentioned here, this one does actually exist. Proof can be found in the ceaseless attempts to correct British English spellings into US ones, a source of much humour humor humour humor to the English.

Join us! Except the people from the Pedophile Cabal!

Wikipedian Greek Chauvinist Junta

This nefarious gung (spelling intended) is actually a department of the Greek National Intelligence Service, hell-bent on optimizing the dark side of Greek history.Their uncanny ability at POV pushing is attributed to the ingenious "3-shift system" that allows them to operate 24 hours a day, while they manage to elude administrators using a dark art known only as the "secret e-mail". Rumors of their relation to a half-alien, superweapon-wielding entity known as the "Epsilon Group" remain unfounded. See also: The Tzatziki Squad

Style cabals

Members of the style cabals are rumored to hang out at Wikpedia:Manual of Style, engaging in complex negotiations that threaten the world's culture.

The American Idiom Cabal

(not to be confused with the "American Idiot Cabal") This cabal feels that every article needs a good idiom to make it complete. They "go like clockwork" "out of the pan and into the fire" "without batting an eye" helping to "put one's house in order".

They rarely get "hot under the collar" because their "heart is in the right place". They can clearly "see the handwriting on the wall" and they work hard to "keep it all under one's hat". They do not "keep up with the Jonses" but they make every attempt to "get their foot in the door" by "swimming against the flow". They have an alternate version of their name...it's right "on the tip of my tongue".

Anti-Long Shortcut Cabal

This cabal is supposedly against extra long redirects and wishes to move them to shorter titles. On occasion, they may make them longer. Page is here.

"CENSOROUS POV BIGOT" Cabal

This cabal was apparently opposed to editors who liked to write IN CAPITAL LETTERS often. The cabal went underground after Jimbo announced that all ABUSIVE POWER GRABS were scheduled for June, not April.

The e.e.cummings cabal

A gaggle of editors whose eccentric use of punctuation and grammar is used to "paint a picture". As fans of poet e.e.cummings their edits show an idiocyncratic way of arranging individual words into longer more confusing sentances and phrases than necesssary to impart understanding from the written page (or in the case of the Internet, from the viewing screen) to the individual reader. They strive to use an impressionistic style in edits to articles and talk pages. Sadly the impression left is misunderstanding and confusion. Their determination to only use lowercase letters along with a self-styled punctuation pattern can lead to repeated readings of the same passage to ascertain meaning.

Featured Article Cabal

This sinister group is dedicated to the disruption of other Wikimedia sites. Their modus operandi is to promote frivolous and trivial articles to featured article status, thereby sending vandals to create more trivial articles at Wiktionary. Somehow.

Featured Picture Cabal

This cabal indulges in secret but "exotic" pornographic fetishes.

The Featured Picture cabal promotes randomly selected images to appear on the Main Page. Except they claim that these images must live up to a host of arbitrarily decided upon rules to be promoted. Don't buy it. Images of less than 1000 pixels on a side get by all the time.

The FP cabal is very isolationist and invalidates votes made by perfectly good anonymous users. They invalidate logged-in, non-cabal votes by explaining that the newcomer is inexperienced in photography and the image has glaring faults, if only they were smart enough to see them. If you dare oppose a bad image, or vote for a good one, they have contacts in the administrator's cabal. Beware.

In-Universe Cabal

This illusive cabal hides in the shadows, and is believed to be waiting patiently for its turn to rise up and dominate over all its brethren! Little is known about this mysterious cabal except that it is mortal enemies with the Japanophile cabal, and is determined to steal away all their power over Wikipedia by deleting individual character articles, or converting them into useless character lists on the grounds of 'in-universe' perspective.

Jalepeno Cabal

A widespead International Cabal with a flavorable spice to add to even the dullest article. Their finesse at discerning just the right amount of "owwwchiwaawaa" is legendary. When working on an article with the Jalepeno Cabal(JC), editors have been heard to comment "......their pleasant optimism make me wanna smack my lips..." Most JC members have a cross-over parallel alliance with the MexiCabal. They have absolutely nothing to do with the recent 2008 United States salmonellosis outbreak that spread across the U.S. The jalepeno cabal is easily discerned from others; 1)...Wonderful smile...2) huge sombrero

Jargon Cabal

A coalition of WikiEditors that roam WikiWorld, creating WikiBabble (also known as WikiJargon) which is a vocabulary of WikiWords that only WikiJargonCabal members can understand. For instance, if you have just been given WikiInstuctions about something and you are still completely confused, you have just run into a member of the WikiJargonCabal. Showering with vinegar and water should clear your mind.

labaC Cabal

This cabal spells everything backwards..sdrawkcab gnihtyreve slleps labac siht It was started by Harry Caray..yaraC trraH yb detrats saw tI Except for its Language Portal, this cabal is completely useless..sselesu yletelpmoc si labac siht ,latroP egaugnaL sti rof tpecxE.

Editor cabals

These cabals are collections of like-minded people with broad interests, usually including taking over the world.

The American Idiot Cabal

The former name of this cabal was The American SoftHead Cabal. Often under duress due to constant criticism ("Your edits are feeble-minded and irrational") the members of this cabal have joined together to create a united force. Sadly, their act of unifying has merely created a situation where there are more idiots than usual at any single article. Their compelling argument in defense of the cabals absurd and non-sensical edits is the quality of public school education in the United States. To date, no-one has been able to oppose their stand. The Motto of the cabal is "the quality or state of being an idiot is protected by the constitution.

The Bathrobe Cabal

All candidates must submit a photo of themselves wearing a bathrobe, a cheesy grin and a thumbs up in the picture. Approved alternatives to the "cheesy grin" include: show of tongue stud, a look that says "Your mother," a look that says "I did your mother," the deer in the headlights look, or a look that conveys no emotion whatsoever.

Aims:

• Creation of centers for physical love, so-called Mitfickzentralen (literally "fuckpööling centers")
• Cancellation of compulsory education
• Abolition of the 5-O
• Reducing the legal voting (and drinking, and consent!) age to 12. "When was the last time a 12 year-old started an edit-war?"
• Legalization of all drugs while outlawing antibiotics and fluoride
• Re-building the Berlin Wall
• Fully protecting all user talk pages is a priority
• Enforce 1RR
• Promote IPs to adminship
• Improve pwn to featured article status
• Recruit more chicks
• Force all Ducks to wear hats
• Prohibit the use of the terms Straw man and ad hominem

The Cabal is semi-anarchistic, although there is claim to promote a form of direct democracy. Proposed laws of the Cabal appear to support activities such as drinking, recreational drug use, and recreational sex.

- TRANSMISSION ENDS -

Bertie's Cabal

This elusive group consists of cabalists who are members of none of the cabals listed on this page.

The Bizzare Scene Cabal

Main page: User:Lighthead/The Bizzare Scene Cabal

"Check it out!" - Bizzare scenes...

This cabal is for anyone who is an outsider, be it in the music they listen to, in the clothes they wear, or the people they date. Commercial: "Check it out!"

The Blind Editors Cabal

This cabal of sightless wonders has read Everything Ever submitted to WikiPedia. Also known as the Fahrenheit 451 Cabal (after the Ray Bradbury novel) these editors/sysops hope to store ALL of WikiPedia in their individual brains just in case everyone's computers "crash" at the same time. Sometimes known as Inclusionists or Anti-Deletionists.

The Catapult Cabal

A group of thrill-seeking editors who, after strenuous edit warring, enjoyed being launched into the night sky via huge Medieval siege weapons. The Cabal was recently discontinued due to increasing membership fatalities when the participants failed to land...anywhere!

Federated Union of Cabal Kangaroos

The reason for the existence of this cabal should be obvious to even the casual observer. Most members of this cabal are under 12 years old. (Mentally, if not physically.) While not actually posting it, this cabal takes credit for the two mating bees image above.

The I Refuse To Admit I'm Wrong Cabal

This cabal is made up of mostly men (the lone female member is a transexual) and will fight to the blocking point to avoid admitting being wrong. Basic Premise: It doesn't matter if you find out you were wrong, you never admit it on pain of expulsion. In early 2006, a member of the cabal thought he was wrong but, on further review, it turned out that he was right (in the first place) which meant being wrong (in the second place) never happened.

Micronation Cabal

This cabal has declared secession from Wikipedia, similar to the Uncyclopedia secession, but this time it is less public. In whispered voices, it is said this cabal is actually the ruling cabal that is now abandoning their (supposedly) sinking ship. Other people just think they are delusional from editing Wikipedia too much. Of course, they claim it is because they want their own article.

The Nothing Cabal

The origins of this cabal are shrouded in mystery, but what is clear enough is that this cabal is dedicated to doing nothing. This way, they don't have to convince people it doesn't exist, because since it isn't doing anything, no one will ever find it.

One True Cabal

Based on research by an unnamed editor (name removed for personal safety from the cabal members) the One True Cabal is the Cabal of One, ruled by the dark TINC on his dark throne. Its sacred verse:

Three rings for the WikiKnights under the sky,

Seven for the WikiLord in his hall of stone,

Nine for the WikiFallen doomed to die,

One for the Dark TINC on his dark throne

In the land of Wiki where the shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

In the land of Wiki where the shadows lie.

However, this research is considered unreliable for these reasons:

• The aforesaid user has repeatedly denied his being associated with this cabal. Therefore he must be a member of this cabal, and therefore he is spreading false information.
• If the aforesaid user is not associated with this cabal, he would still deny his being associated with this cabal, and therefore even if you're not associated with this cabal, you are associated with this cabal, and therefore any information that you write about this cabal is false, including both the preceding statement and this entry itself.

Puppy Cabal

The Puppy Cabal is a collection of puppies that, in truth, run Wikipedia. In keeping with the generous and supportive nature of puppies, they allow human editors to believe they are in charge. Linus Torvalds, actually an anthropomorphic being, is said to be the founding member.

The Regret Tenenbaum Cabal

Beware...EVEN MORE!

Goals:

• Undermine other cabals (especially the Bathrobe Cabal).
• Dance like an idiot.
• Be useless.
• Add {{User:Regret Tenenbaum/Mark of Doom}} to various pages. See example above.

Notes:

1. This group feels awkward about being so close to the Paedophile Cabal in the strictly alphabetical lists of cabals used at SCREW meetings.
2. Most of the members of this cabal are unknowingly members of the Association of Structurist Wikipedians.

The Trenchcoat Cabal

An all-male cabal (all female members of the cabal are actually sexual blow-up dolls) with rules stating:

• each member must "have a member",
• trenchcoats must have shoulder straps (for epillettes) and a D-ring (for adult toys),
• dues paying members in good "standing" may wear leather trenchcoats,
• black socks are optional for administrators,
• "cod pieces" are strictly forbidden.

Uncyclopedia cabal

This is the reason Uncyclopedia exists, the freaks!

The Cabal of Spontaneity

A shadowy cabal whose actions are rarely seen, but always, in the end, heard.

The Star Chamber Cabal

A relentless 9 member cabal that is as vague as its constitution. With unlimited jurisdiction, it dispenses with the encumbrance of fact or truth in its pursuit of mendacity. Any and all punishments it decrees are final. It can and often does proceed on rumors alone and does not require evidence of any kind in order to determine a final outcome. It meets bi-monthly in the Penthouse of Jimbo Towers in a suburb of Naples, Florida.

Steward's Cabal canceled

Tartan Cabal

A kilt wearing band of M-edit-cal Practitioners. They are eager to assist the Wikipedia editing process but no one really wants them to stay at a site for too long. It's just too disconcerting and uncomfortable! Other editors are never sure when a Tartan Cabal member may "let the cat out of the bag", so to speak.

"There is no cabal." cabal

Further information: [[:WP:TINC]]

They wish to prove to all that there truly is no cabal and thus, they deny their own existence. This page was written and maintained by this cabal. Ignore that last sentence. It does not exist.

Wikipedianism Cult Cabal

The sinister forces of Wikipedianism (a decidedly evil cult) are positioning themselves for taking over the world. Consider on which side you'll stand!

The Yellow Line Cabal

Best explained with the following; Some people park BETWEEN the Yellow Lines...Some People Don't SEE the Yellow Lines...and a third group (the members of this cabal) are people that...SEE the Yellow Lines and INTENTIONALLY IGNORE them.

Inactive or defunct cabals

Esperanza Cabal

Main page: Wikipedia:Esperenza

A Wikipedia domination project based on friendliness (they make you offers so gently that you can't refuse). Has gone into hiding after exposure.

The Lazy Editors Cabal

The Lazy Editors' may not actually be editors at all. This cabal includes the experts of the world who, for one reason or another, refuse to utilize their knowledge for the benefit of Wikipedia.

SLG cabal

This "elitist clique of 26 users who won't let anyone else edit 'their page' or join their IRC channel" mercilessly terrorize terrorized and taunt taunted the other 4.9 million Wikipedians [until toppled by the masses in July 2007].

The Never Finishes an Article Cabal

A cabal with more than a bazillion lazy, less than completely active "members" (you can call them that - we don't), this cabal exists Wiki-wide to generate article stumps that then languish, unfinished, for generations. Cabal favorite subjects include text messaging, petty larceny, US villages, uncorporeal beings, insects, small pieces of stuff and unhappiness. The cabal insists on leaving their stumps unlinked and generally include deliberate typos, unfished senten

The Unknown Cabal

Although it is not known whether this cabal exists or not, this section stands as a placeholder for all the cabals yet to be discovered (or spontaneously created by bored intellectuals). This cabal is in keeping with the ancient tradition of the Athenians, who maintained an altar to the "Unknown God".

References