Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2005/Cabal

File:Villianc.svg

A Cabalist in typical attire.

Welcome to the official headquarters of Wikipedia's cabal! We are a group of sysops and bureaucrats and developers. We are commanded into action by our good friend, Jimbo Wales! We, the undersigned agree to:

• Reject as many requests for adminship as possible.
• Keep n00bs under control by telling them ridiculous lies about our respect for humanity.
• Scare anybody we want into submission by blocking whiners.
• Spend the donations from fundraising drives on gold-plated 70-foot yachts, French wines and bottled water, and business jets for the Board of Trustees members.
• Look down on everybody else.
• Encourage systematic bias throughout Wikimedia.
• Continue to develop our secret anti-copyleft policies.
• Trim our hair in accordance with the elitist lifestyle.
• Delete anything, anytime.
• Propagate the total worship of Jimbo.
• Indiscriminately accuse harmless users of vandalism.
• Use the mailing lists and Internet Relay Chat to denounce "trolls".
• Loudly and repeatedly deny the very existence of our aims or the existence of this page.

Members

1. John "Sockpuppet" Doe

2. Neutrality^talk 03:45, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

3. Goobergunch|? (zee non-sysop spy!) 05:06, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

π. Meelar (talk) 10:04, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

4. Scott Gall 05:24, 2005 Apr 1 (UTC)

5. Radiant! (talk) 05:28, Apr 1, 2005 (UTC)

6. I27.O.O.l 06:49, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) (Do you have to be logged in to join?)

7. please note that real members of the cabal identify each other by forehead tattoos in a color that only the initiated can see. These tasty meatsnacks users only THINK they're in the cabal. Or maybe that's just what they want you to think.

7. User:Jimbo Wales Node 18:08, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

8. Comrade Nick @)---^-- 07:56, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC)

9. Goose 09:52, 1 Apr 2005 (UTC) New member of the cabalists

0-0. There is no cabal, that is all.

42 Arthur Dent