Talk:Black mamba/GA2

GA Reassessment

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As SandyGeorgia pointed out a month ago, the prose is not up to GA standard.

1. The lead is too short for an article of this length.
2. Redundancy is sprinkled throughout. Examples: "thoroughly inspect" "It will actively defend its territory very aggressively." "cornered with no escape"
3. The tone is too informal for an encyclopedia. Contractions are used throughout and there is frequent editorializing. ("but of course none of these are confirmed or verified by scientists using scientific methods" "Another problem which this species faces is human persecution", etc.)

Additionally, the images need to be reassessed for placement and copyright status (at least two are not free). Danger ^{High voltage!} 09:32, 28 January 2012 (UTC)

I just read this (very informative) article and agree that repetition and redundancy is rampant. I would tackle it, but it would probably be better done by someone more familiar with the field. Rich Farmbrough, 04:30, 29 January 2012 (UTC).

• The lead talks about the snake being most venmous and in the top ten - this should be simplified to only make one claim

It is not the most venomous snake in the world (that title belongs to inland taipan) but may be in the top 10 according to Venomous snake its up there with the best (its got some good references). ZooPro 12:28, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

• The lead talks about "unprovoked attacks" and "attacks when cornered" - a difference of view that is repeated throughout the article.
• The ref link to Amazon and the ASIN should be replaced with World Cat/OCLC entities if possible.
• Description "The species is the second longest venomous snake in the world, exceeded in length only by the king cobra." - yet hte lead says longest.
• Predators "Very large specimens of this species (10 feet and up) have only humans to fear as even many birds of prey won't go after such specimens, preferring smaller sized snakes." - units, clarity "Black mambas larger than about 10 feet (3.0 m) have only humans to fear as the birds of prey will not attack them."

Rich Farmbrough, 04:50, 29 January 2012 (UTC).

I'll help out if I can, I have experience in this fieldnd was mentoringBas, until he was blocked for being a sock. Frankly, the entire predator section should go. Mambas are at the top of the food chain where they live. Neonates may fall prey to mongoose, meerkat or eagle, but their only real enemy is man, and that is usually out of fear of being bitten and is covered elsewhere in the article. All that section really goes into is the mongoose and other snakes.--Mike - Μολὼν λαβέ 05:55, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

It is a shame about the nominator being blocked, and some of the concerns about the previous editor VeronicaPR suggests the whole page needs close checking. I am becoming more interested in snake articles recently but my knowledge is not great either. My free time is highly unpredictable and I will check and help out if I can, but can't promise. Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:56, 29 January 2012 (UTC)

This is a decent article but it just needs a little tweeking. It would be a shame if it was delisted. It's well sourced, accurate, neutral and unbiased. The prose is the biggest issue and I believe a little group effort put in and we'll have this article in shape in no time. There are some other issues with the article but nothing that can't be corrected or re-written. Rich, the lead claims that it is the "longest venomous snake in Africa" and in the body it specifies that "it is the second longest in the world, after the king cobra". RedGKS talk ★ contribs. 23:55, 14 March 2012 (UTC)