Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lynching of Jesse Washington/archive1

Lynching of Jesse Washington

Lynching of Jesse Washington (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

• Featured article candidates/Lynching of Jesse Washington/archive1

Nominator(s): Mark Arsten (talk)

The lynching of Jesse Washington was part of a sad chapter in American history, during which hatred and mob violence reigned supreme. This lynching is unusual in that it was captured in detail by a local photographer who was on hand as the events unfolded. I believe the article is up to the featured criteria; it has received a good article review from Grapple X and a peer review from Wehwalt and Crisco 1492. Note: contains graphic content, discretion advised. Mark Arsten (talk) 02:14, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

• Comment. I checked out the images during the article's GA review; all of them checked out fine then and no new files have been added in the meantime. I'm about to check the article again to review the subsequent prose changes but I figured I'd note this early to save it being done twice. GRAPPLE X 02:59, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

• Support - My comments were all addressed at the peer review. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:39, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

Support Comments from Noleander - Provided final items in my comments below are addressed.

• Wording: "With the attrition of lynching in central Texas ..." - The word "attrition" may confuse some readers. If you mean decrease, use a plainer word. Is there a better wording?
  • Ok, I switched to "suppressed". Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Non sequitur: "With the attrition of lynching in central Texas, local historians often avoided discussing the practice." - it is not clear to me why the latter follows from the former.
  • Rephrased a bit, hope it's clearer now. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Clarify: "Waco developed a reputation for racism—seen in American history textbooks—to the vexation ..." - What was seen in the textbooks? that there was racism, or merely that Waco had a reputation (unfounded?). Clarify.
  • I tried to clarify, hope it works now. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Need info on modern guesses about guilt. Footnote (a) says " In 2011, Manfred Berg of Heidelberg University concluded that Washington likely murdered Fryer, ...". That seems like critical material that should be in the body of the article (in the Analysis section) not in a footnote.
  • Moved out of footnotes for now. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Paragraph on theories of murder: The article says "George Fryer also sued the college for libel; his vehemence caused some Robinson residents to suspect that he played a part in his wife's death ...". Do any modern 2ndary sources support that theory? If so, it may be good to include a paragr in the article listing the possible scenarios of what happened to the victim.
  • I haven't seen any contemporary sources that speculate that George was guilty, I included a quote from Bernstein on the issue.
• Specify years: "The practice of lynching gradually declined, ..." - needs more specificity on the year, because the prior sentence says "The number of lynchings in the U.S. increased in the three years ..."
  • I rephrased and brought it a bit closer to the text, hope it works now.
• Need external link: The Crisis is available online, and this article should contain a link, perhaps in References section, or in External Links section, pointing the reader to the issue that contained the Waco Horror article.
  • Found a good link to the issue at Modernist Journals Project, added it as further reading. That was a great suggestion, thanks.
• Mentally handicapped? - The article says "James M. SoRelle of Baylor University notes that may have been mentally handicapped ..." - is it true that only one historian came to that conclusion? If it is the consensus of multiple historians, that fact should be in the lead; if not, leave it alone.
  • This is tricky, the source for his possibly retardation is a schoolteacher who was interviewed by Freeman. The teacher said he was unable to learn to read, most writers have assumed that he was retarded on the basis of her comments. It's not known for sure though, so now I just have an account of Freeman's interview of the teacher and her comments. Mark Arsten (talk) 23:15, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Wording: "... have contained dubious low crowd estimates..." - I know that dubious is modifying "estimates" but maybe "dubiously low" would be better? or re-word entirely to make it plainer.
  • Yeah, I went back and forth on that a couple times, reworded the sentence in the end. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Capitalization of book titles: In Ref section: some book titles cap all leading letters; some only the first letter. Should be consistent.
  • Good catch, they all should be in title case now. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Citation needed: " ... some disparaged it, including local ministers and leaders of Baylor University." - Im guessing that the cite from the following sentence applies; but may as well include it for this sentence as well. See WP:INTEGRITY.
  • Alright, I tweaked the sentence and added a ref.
• Crisis article name: "After receiving Freeman's report, he placed an image of Washington's body on the cover of an issue of The Crisis, the NAACP's newsletter, which discussed the event.[78] In 1916, The Crisis had a circulation of about 30,000, three times the size of the NAACP's membership.[79] Du Bois popularized "Waco Horror" as a name ..." - You should include the name of the article ... was it "Waco Horror"? if so, include it and re-word this sentence.
  • Added another sentence with title.
• Crisis article date/month - include the month of publication.
  • Added.
• Ambiguity: "Their campaign saw some success in raising funds, but it was scaled back as the U.S. entered World War I.[89] Bernstein describes this effort as the "barest beginnings of a battle that would last many years"" - What was the battle? Fund raising? or against lynching?
  • Ok, tried to clarify. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• More background: "After it became associated with violence in the 19th century, community leaders sought to change its reputation,..." - What was that 19th c reputation? For lynchings? for wild-west shoot outs? Never mind: the prior paragraph covers that.
• Grammar? - "There was a small number of anti-lynching activists ..." - Was or were? I'm not sure.
  • Sadly, I couldn't figure it out either--I rephrased to avoid the issue. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Wording - "Apologists of lynching justified the practice as a way to assert dominance over African Americans ..." - "Apologists" seems wrong here: isn't that normally used in political/religious contexts? Maybe another word like proponents or defenders or supporters would be better.
  • Ok, changed to "Supporters". Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Non sequitur: "She spoke with Fleming and the judge who presided over the trial; both argued that they did not deserve blame for the lynching. Local African Americans gave her a better reception." - Not clear how "better" relates to prior sentence.
  • Ok, tweaked a bit to avoid the issue. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Mind reading: "The individuals in the photographs made no attempts to hide their identities, indicating that they knew that no one would be prosecuted." - Perhaps reword to indicate that that is the interpretation or assessment of analysts/historians. The voice of WP shouldn't be making conclusive statements about persons intentions/thoughts.
  • Credited the analysis to a historian. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Sic link? - ""That's what I done [sic]" - Sic is linked here. Is that (the link) consistent with WP manual of style?
  • I'm going to have to check on that one, I hadn't linked it originally but it was suggested that I use the {{sic}} template at the GA review. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Date needed: "On the morning of the trial, Waco's courthouse quickly filled to capacity:" - that 1st sentence of the Trial section needs to include the date.
  • Ok, date added. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Wording: "However, descendants of Fryer have spoken out against the idea." - Probably should reword because (1) avoid beginning sentences with But or However; (2) generally should use plain past tense. Perhaps "Some descendants of Fryer objected to the proposed memorial".
  • Ok, I do tend to overuse However, I took your suggested wording. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Ambiguity: "White leaders of Waco took a non-violent approach to demonstrations ..." - Were the leaders organizing the demonstrations? or responding to them?
  • Tried to clarify. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Ambiguity: " Washington was accused of raping and murdering his employer's wife after she was found dead." - Could be read that he raped her (and murdered her) after she was dead. Perhaps simplify to "Washington was accused of raping and murdering his employer's wife." and later make it clear there were no eye witnesses.
  • Good catch, rephrased a bit and added a sentence. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Conjunction: "His lawyers prepared no defense, but noted that he appeared placid in the days before the trial." - Should change "but" to "and" since the latter does not contradict the former.
  • Ok, switched to "and". Mark Arsten (talk) 15:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
• Leaning towards support, once the above are addressed.

End Noleander comments. --Noleander (talk) 03:46, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

• • Thanks again for the thorough review, I'll mark the ones that I've done for now. Mark Arsten (talk) 15:32, 15 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Ok, I think I have taken care of the above comments now. The sic template is the only one I'm not sure how to proceed on. Mark Arsten (talk) 23:15, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

From my point of view, the only remaining issue is prose quality. I'll make one more pass through the article soon and see what I can find ... in the meantime, you may want to go through the article yourself, reading each sentence out loud, and see if you can find some incremental improvements. --Noleander (talk) 23:18, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

Ok, will do, thanks for the note. Mark Arsten (talk) 23:57, 15 May 2012 (UTC)

• Wording - "and many children used their lunch hour to attend." - better as "and many children attended during their lunch hour."
• "Chronological order" - Flip 2 sentences: "Fleming traveled to Robinson on May 13 to ask residents to remain calm; his address was well received. The Times-Herald of Waco published a notice on May 12 requesting that residents let the justice system determine Washington's fate."
• Attribute thought: "the executioners attempted to keep him alive to increase his suffering" - The intentions of people generally should not be stated in WP voice: attribute that to a specific source/historian or reword as "Historians concluded that ..." or similar.
• Job title: " mayor and the chief of police, although lynching was illegal in Texas. Fleming told his deputies ..." - I've forgotten who Fleming is. I suppose he is the chief of police? Probably best to restate that connection at this point in the article.
• Ambiguity: " the Houston Chronicle and the Austin American criticized the lynch mob, but spoke highly of their city. " - What city? Houston or Waco?

End additional Noleander comments. --Noleander (talk) 13:54, 20 May 2012 (UTC)

• • Thanks again for the thorough review (and your comments on my talk page), I think I've squared away your remaining issues. Mark Arsten (talk) 16:24, 20 May 2012 (UTC)

Image review

• File:Washington_hanging_side_view.jpg and similar: can you be more specific about when and where this was first published?
• File:Postcard_of_the_lynched_Jesse_Washington,_front_and_back.jpg: publisher/author and date for source?
• File:Freeman200.jpg: need more information. When/where was this first published? Who took the photo? What is the source?
• File:AmericaAfrica.png is tagged as lacking source information. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:45, 21 May 2012 (UTC)
  • Ok, I've specified the details in the images your refer to in your first point, so they should be all set. Unfortunately, I was unable to find the publishers and authors of the latter three points, and removed them from the article. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:01, 21 May 2012 (UTC)