Cueshé

File:Halfemptyhalffull.jpg

Cueshe debut album cover Half Empty, Half Full (from L-R: Jovan, Mike, Ruben, Jay, Jhunjie and Fritz).

Cueshé (pronounced as kwe-shee) is a shitty six-member Filipino-based Faggot-Core band. Its members are all homosexuals and mental retards from the city of Cebu.

Biography

Cueshé encountered many personal problems before being moving to Manila. They used to practice their music in the bedroom of their current drummer/songwriter/bandleader/chief ripper-offer Mike Manaloto--it was the band’s makeshift rehearsal studio. After ass-fucking and cock-sucking practice, they would have Banana Cue, a cheap but nutritious Filipino street food for snacks and to dilute the taste of shit and semen in their mouths, as it was what they could afford as students. However, they changed the pronounciation to "kweh", after the sound Chocobos make in Final Fantasy games ("kweh-kweh!"). This became the inspiration for the first syllable of the band's name. The “shé”, pronounced 'shee,' comes from the gender of the vocalist, who was she-male. According to the band, an accent was added at the end of Cueshé to make it attractive to hear, with the added benefits of making their band name pretentious and extra-gay (HAH! as if the latter even possible).

Jay Justiniani, after surviving (unfortunately) a near-death motorcycle mishap in December 24, 2001, replaced the she-male vocalist.

To make ends meet, bassist and songwriter Fritz Labrado drove jeepneys in Cebu with lead guitarist Jovan Mabini as his willing assistant and collector, who also sucked the cock (he still does now) in his spare time. Jovan taught himself to suck cock by practicing on his father and all his male relatives. He also found street children and insane homeless people from off the streets of Cebu to perform fellatio on. Mike traded imported cigarettes for local bars in Cebu, while the rest focused on their studies. All the while, they continued their weekly 'jamming'(yeah right) sessions.

Guitarist/lead vocalist Ruben Caballero later joined the group. His contribution to the band evolved from only doing vocals with Jay to playing the guitar. Pianist/Keyboardist Jhunjie Dosdos came into the band with musical experience from his younger years. He joined numerous singing contests when he was still a kid. In his former band, he performed vocals and guitars. When he was but a young child, his drunken father and uncles often used him as an object of sexual gratification. The band's lyrics often include references to this tragic past.

In March 2005, the band took a risk by moving to the capital to become full-time musicians. They were urgently signed up and rushed to the studio, but not after a good, jolly round of animalistic buttfucking. Jay reportedly was the pig in the double-penetration pit roast.

The band has currently been facing several issues, one of which is the allegation that the band ripped-off Silverchair's "The Greatest View" and Simple Plan's "Perfect" chord progressions/tempo for their debut song, "Stay". The band is also rumored to have been using other talent outside the band to help compose the songs. They have since feuded with local acts such as Spongecola, Hale, Bamboo and Razorback about the said issue. But, really, who gives a shit? For fuck's sake, they had a fucking SHEMALE for a member. Who the fuck would take this band seriously?

Members

• Ruben Kaintamod Caballero - Lead vocals / Rhythm guitar
• Jay Tagahigopngtaesapwet Justiniani - Vocals/Hita/Lead Macho Dancing/Taga-tsupa
• Jovan Mahiligsaskulboys Mabini - Lead guitar
• Jhunjie Badingnawalangsilbi Dosdos - Keyboards / Backup vocals
• Fritz Tagadilangburnek Labrado - Bass (Songwriter)
• Mike Baklangwalangtalent Manaloto - Drums (Songwriter)

Albums

• Half Empty, Half Full - Debut album as of 2005 (Sony-BMG Music Entertainment)

Videos/Singles

• "Stay"
• "Sorry"
• "Ulan"
• "Can't Let You Go"
• "Love me now, Hate me soon"

External links

• The Band's Official Site
• Hump Ahead The Cueshe Fanlisting