Talk:The Silence (2010 film): Difference between revisions
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Explanation of undoing an anonymous contributor's undoing. |
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{{WikiProject Film|German=yes|needs-image=yes|class=Start}} |
{{WikiProject Film|German=yes|needs-image=yes|class=Start}} |
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{{WikiProject Germany|class=Start|importance=Low}} |
{{WikiProject Germany|class=Start|importance=Low}} |
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=="Needless verbosity"?== |
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I have reinstated my corrections to the plot text drawn by an anonymous contributor. My corrections/reformulations fall into two categories: |
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I.1) In the first category I would first include the introduction, which is probably more elegant, albeit longer than the one used by the anonymous contributor. It is, nevertheless, not much longer than any other film introduction.<br/> |
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2) The (probably Anglophone) anonymous contributor uses 11 times the name "Fredrich" for one of the characters, probably molded from the form "Fredric(k)" that this name takes in English. The film character's name is, however, "Friedrich".<br/> |
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II. The group of punctual improvements is slightly longer:<br/> |
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1. Pia, the first child victim, is 11 years old, not 12, at the time of the murder, as the German page of the film also says.<br/> |
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2. Timo's surname was not Friedrich at the time of the murder. He took his wife's surname afterwards. Whether this detail is included or not, it is important not to indicate him as "Timo Friedrich" at the time of Pia's murder.<br/> |
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3. The formulation "[Pia's bicycle] was been found" is unknown to the English language. The closest to it is "... has been found".<br/> |
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4. "Child pornography" is a more educated formulation than "child porn".<br/> |
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5. There is no hint in the film that Jana Glaeser and David Jahn had been interviewing suspects, then stopped, then started again, so the formulation "Jana Glaeser and David Jahn have began reinterviewing" is rather incorrect, to be replaced by "... have begun interviewing". They did not stop doing so once they started.<br/> |
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6. I have inserted a few more details of the scene at the end of which Jana Glaeser drops Sommers as a suspect, as I think it is crucial for the whole idea that the main perpetrator remains unpunished.<br/> |
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7. Any dictionary will show that the correct form is "passenger seat", or "passenger's seat", not "passengers seat".<br/> |
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8. "[[Drawer]]", not "draw".<br/> |
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9. The details I inserted in the last paragraph give an idea of the group dynamics within the police, without being excessively revealing.<br/> |
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These are a few of the improvements that were discarded once the "porn" contributor decided that the introduction was "needlessly verbous". Unless he agrees to at least some of them, the intervention of a third party is needed in order to raise the level of the article. Thank you, [[User:Nerissa-Marie|Nerissa-Marie]] ([[User talk:Nerissa-Marie|talk]]) 23:50, 3 June 2013 (UTC) |
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Revision as of 23:50, 3 June 2013
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"Needless verbosity"?
I have reinstated my corrections to the plot text drawn by an anonymous contributor. My corrections/reformulations fall into two categories:
I.1) In the first category I would first include the introduction, which is probably more elegant, albeit longer than the one used by the anonymous contributor. It is, nevertheless, not much longer than any other film introduction.
2) The (probably Anglophone) anonymous contributor uses 11 times the name "Fredrich" for one of the characters, probably molded from the form "Fredric(k)" that this name takes in English. The film character's name is, however, "Friedrich".
II. The group of punctual improvements is slightly longer:
1. Pia, the first child victim, is 11 years old, not 12, at the time of the murder, as the German page of the film also says.
2. Timo's surname was not Friedrich at the time of the murder. He took his wife's surname afterwards. Whether this detail is included or not, it is important not to indicate him as "Timo Friedrich" at the time of Pia's murder.
3. The formulation "[Pia's bicycle] was been found" is unknown to the English language. The closest to it is "... has been found".
4. "Child pornography" is a more educated formulation than "child porn".
5. There is no hint in the film that Jana Glaeser and David Jahn had been interviewing suspects, then stopped, then started again, so the formulation "Jana Glaeser and David Jahn have began reinterviewing" is rather incorrect, to be replaced by "... have begun interviewing". They did not stop doing so once they started.
6. I have inserted a few more details of the scene at the end of which Jana Glaeser drops Sommers as a suspect, as I think it is crucial for the whole idea that the main perpetrator remains unpunished.
7. Any dictionary will show that the correct form is "passenger seat", or "passenger's seat", not "passengers seat".
8. "Drawer", not "draw".
9. The details I inserted in the last paragraph give an idea of the group dynamics within the police, without being excessively revealing.
These are a few of the improvements that were discarded once the "porn" contributor decided that the introduction was "needlessly verbous". Unless he agrees to at least some of them, the intervention of a third party is needed in order to raise the level of the article. Thank you, Nerissa-Marie (talk) 23:50, 3 June 2013 (UTC)