Shiva (Judaism)

This article is about the Jewish mourning period. For the adventure game, see The Shivah.

"Shivah" redirects here. For for places in Iran, see Shivah, Iran.

Shiva (Template:Lang-he) (literally "seven") is the week-long mourning period in Judaism for first-degree relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, sibling or spouse. The ritual is referred to as "sitting shiva." Immediately after burial, people assume the halakhic status of "avel" (Hebrew: אבל, "mourner"). This state lasts for seven days, during which family members traditionally gather in one home (preferably the home of the deceased) and receive visitors. Before the funeral, the Keriah ritual takes place. An outer garment or alternatively a small black ribbon, is cut by the Rabbi. This garment is worn throughout shiva.

Etymology

The word Shiva comes from the Hebrew word shiv'ah, which literally means "seven". The tradition was developed in response to the story in Genesis 50:1-14 in which Joseph mourns the death of his father Jacob (Israel) for seven days.

Length of shiva

The Hebrew word "shiva" means "seven", and the official shiva period is seven days. The day of the funeral is counted as the first day of shiva, even though the practice does not begin until after the mourner(s) arrive at the designated location following the funeral. On day seven, shiva generally ends in the morning, following services, and the mourners are walked around the block by the community. This practice is based on two verses from the Book of Isaiah. On Shabbat during the week of shiva, no formal mourning takes place, but the day is counted as one of the seven. Sometimes, a minyan with a Torah reading will take place at the mourner's house.

If the first day of a Yom Tov (holy days which includes Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Passover, and Shavuot) occurs during shiva, the shiva ends, regardless of the number of days that have already been observed. Even if a Yom Tov begins at nightfall on the day of the funeral, the remainder of shiva is cancelled.

If the death occurs during Yom Tov, shiva does not begin until the burial is completed. Burial may not take place on Yom Tov, but can on Chol HaMoed (the intermediate days of Sukkot or Passover). Burial can also take place on the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora. In addition, it is also permitted to delegate the burial to gentiles even on the first day, though such is not usually done.

If a burial occurs on Chol HaMoed of Passover, shiva does not begin till after the Yom Tov is completed. In the Diaspora, where most Yom Tovim are observed for two days, mourning does not take place on the second day, but the day is still counted as one of the days of shiva.

Shiva customs

It is important to know that all Jewish people do not mourn alike. Some may choose to observe traditional rites and customs meticulously while others may be more relaxed in their observance.

Traditionally, the first meal after the funeral, the seudat havra'ah (Hebrew: סעודת הבראה, "meal of comforting"), is supplied by neighbors and friends. The mourners do not bathe or shower for pleasure, they do not wear leather shoes or jewelry, men do not shave, and in many communities household mirrors are covered. The prohibition of bathing includes bathing or showering the whole body, or using hot water. It is permitted to wash separately various parts of the body in cool water. Marital relations and Torah study are not permitted. (It is permitted to study the laws of mourning, as well as that material which may be studied on Tisha B'Av, including Job, Lamentations, portions of Jeremiah and the third chapter of Talmud tractate Moed Katan.) No public mourning may occur on Shabbat, nor may the burial take place on Shabbat; "private" mourning restrictions continue during the Shabbat. It is customary for the mourners to sit on low stools, or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being "brought low" by the grief. Typically, mourners do not return to work until the end of the week of mourning.

Relatives, friends or a synagogues committee may coordinate and provide meals for the mourners, as their needs are to be taken care of by others.

If prayer services are organized in the house of mourning, it is customary for an adult mourner to lead the prayers.

Visiting a shiva home

After the funeral, you may see a pitcher of water at the front door of the shiva house. It is customary to pour water over your hands upon returning from the cemetery, prior to entering the home. It is believed that water is the source of all life, therefore when one has come in contact with death, it is proper to pour water over each hand three times (alternating hands each time) in order to focus on life. When making a shiva call, it is appropriate to dress as if you are attending a synagogue service however in many homes, more informal attire is just as appropriate. It is considered a great mitzvah (literally "commandment" but usually interpreted as "good deed") of kindness and compassion to visit (make or pay a shiva call) to the mourners, a practice known as Nichum Aveilim. Traditionally, no greetings are exchanged and visitors wait for the mourners to initiate conversation, or remain silent if the mourners do not do so, out of respect for their bereavement. Once engaged in conversation by the mourners, it is appropriate for visitors to talk about the deceased, sharing stories of his or her life. Some mourners use shiva as a distraction from their loss, other mourners prefer to openly experience their grief together with friends and family.

Upon leaving an Ashkenazic shiva house, visitors recite a traditional blessing: "May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem" (המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים, transliterated HaMakom yenachem etchem betoch sha'ar aveylei Tziyon viYerushalayim). At a Sephardic shiva house, visitors say: "May Heaven comfort you" (מן השמים תנוחמו - min haShamayim tenuchamu).

It is considered a mitzvah for visitors to bring food for the mourners or make a donation in memory of the deceased. If the family observes traditional Jewish dietary laws, make sure the food you bring is kosher. When in doubt it is best to bring Kosher food to a shiva house. Among Sephardic Jews food is served to the visitors and it is considered a mitzvah to make a blessing on the food in the merit of the deceased. Sephardim believe that every beracha (blessing) said elevates the neshama, (soul) of the deceased. Therefore, one should eat a variety of foods to be able to say more than one beracha. In an Ashkenazic home of mourning, food is not served except for the possibility of a light breakfast as a courtesy to those attending Shaharit (morning prayer) since they generally go straight to work after the service. The mourner is not allowed to serve food to the visitors and it is family and friends who take care of the guests and everyday issues.

Shiva minyan

During shiva, a minyan (a quorum of ten or more adult Jews) traditionally gather at the shiva home for services and Kaddish is recited during the services.. The services held are like those at a synagogue, except that certain prayers or verses are either added or omitted. On days that the Torah is read in a synagogue, it is likewise read at the shiva home. An effort is made by the community to lend a Torah scroll to the mourner for this purpose. Kaddish is recited during the services.

Keriah

The torn garment, usually a shirt, jacket or vest that "covers the heart," is worn throughout the shiva period (a practice known as "keriah"; alternative spellings "keriyah", "kria"), except on Shabbat. Conservative and Reform Jews will usually wear a torn piece of black ribbon instead of a torn garment. The torn garment symbolizes/expresses the grief of the mourner.

Leaving the shiva house

Leaving the shiva house is permitted when traveling between two locations where shiva is being observed by different members of the family, in cases of pikuach nefesh, i.e., a human life is in danger, whether that of the mourner or someone else; when something must be done to prevent another person from suffering and no one else can do it, such as caring for a child or an elderly or sick person; to feed or care for one's animals if there is no one else to do so; if another relative for whom the mourner is required to sit shiva dies, the mourner may attend the funeral. Leaving the house is also permitted on Shabbat.

Generally, one does not work or conduct business during shiva, although an exception may be made for those whose duties involve pikuach nefesh (doctors, nurses and emergency medical technicians). The same is true for mourners who are liable to suffer serious economic loss. If a mourner shares a business with a partner, and the partner can operate the business alone, the partner shall run the business. The partner is entitled to keep all profits made during the time, but if the partner does not exert additional effort, and the mourner will suffer economic loss, the partner is encouraged to donate the profits to the mourner, considering it tzedaka. A mourner may do the minimal amount of work necessary in order to assure the survival of a business, or if his position is important in meeting the needs of the public and no substitute can be found. This includes elected officials whose work is necessary for the citizens. During the shiva period, the mourner is permitted to give instructions on how to handle business in his absence. The last day of shiva is observed for just a few hours and the following may be recited:

"No more will your sun set, nor your moon be darkened, for God will be an eternal light for you, and your days of mourning shall end. (Isaiah 60:20)"

When shiva is over, mourners may take a short walk around the block, to symbolize their return to society.

See also

• Bereavement in Judaism
• Chevra kadisha

External links

• [1]
• Death and Mourning in Interfaith Families
• Sitting Shiv'ah in the Judaica Guide
• Traditional Words of Consolation
• Free info on Jewish customs related to death, mourning, Kaddish, shiva, yahrtzeit, the soul, & the afterlife
• Visiting a Jewish Home During the Seven Day Mourning Period