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m Signing comment by Gopara - "Suggested Edits: new section"
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{{Fishproject|class = start}}
{{Fishproject|class = start}}
{{WPPhilippines|class=Start|importance=Low}}
{{WPPhilippines|class=Start|importance=Low}}
{{course assignment | course = Education Program:Washington University in St. Louis/Behavioral Ecology (Fall 2013) | term = Fall 2013}}
==New Edits==
==New Edits==
Hi everyone, I'm a student in a behavioral ecology class and one of my projects focuses on editing this Oreochromis mossambicus article. As such, I will be changing and editing this page alot, beginning with adding some major sections, removing unnecessary information, and moving information around so that it is organized more neatly. If anyone has questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me! [[User:MLiu19|MLiu19]] ([[User talk:MLiu19|talk]]) 01:13, 25 October 2013 (UTC)
Hi everyone, I'm a student in a behavioral ecology class and one of my projects focuses on editing this Oreochromis mossambicus article. As such, I will be changing and editing this page alot, beginning with adding some major sections, removing unnecessary information, and moving information around so that it is organized more neatly. If anyone has questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me! [[User:MLiu19|MLiu19]] ([[User talk:MLiu19|talk]]) 01:13, 25 October 2013 (UTC)
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Social Structure: what are some of these aggressive behaviors that the dominant males engage in? <small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Gopara|Gopara]] ([[User talk:Gopara|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Gopara|contribs]]) 04:40, 1 November 2013 (UTC)</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->
Social Structure: what are some of these aggressive behaviors that the dominant males engage in? <small><span class="autosigned">—&nbsp;Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Gopara|Gopara]] ([[User talk:Gopara|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Gopara|contribs]]) 04:40, 1 November 2013 (UTC)</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot-->

==Suggested Edits==

* Consider putting all information in the intro in another section & cite it in those sections. The intro should not contain any new information.
* Diet and Home Range sections are a little small. Try to expand if possible.
* Add hyperlinks to diet section.
* There are citations missing in the Description section.
* Headings should have the first word capitalized and the rest lowercase.
* Add more hyperlinks to Communication and aggressive section if possible.
* Possibly integrate the Other Names section elsewhere, or include it earlier in the article.
[[User:VAleles|VAleles]] ([[User talk:VAleles|talk]]) 17:38, 22 November 2013 (UTC)

Revision as of 17:38, 22 November 2013

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New Edits

Hi everyone, I'm a student in a behavioral ecology class and one of my projects focuses on editing this Oreochromis mossambicus article. As such, I will be changing and editing this page alot, beginning with adding some major sections, removing unnecessary information, and moving information around so that it is organized more neatly. If anyone has questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me! MLiu19 (talk) 01:13, 25 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

1) Organizing sections
→I think some of the sections can be made into subsections.
→Ex) Behavior: Social structure, communication, aggression
Breeding: Parental care, reproduction

2) Aggression
→On the last paragraph of this section, it might be nice to elaborate more on how aggression arises. One way of doing this might be to give examples.

3) Redundancy
→Mouthbrooding is both mentioned and explained in Reproduction and Parental Care sections. It might be more appropriate to only mention it in one section. (probably the section that appears first?)
Jyn0309 (talk) 05:01, 29 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Suggested edits

General edits

  • Hyperlinks! Add them.
  • Many sections are insubstantial.
  • The organization of sections probably needs improvement. Many can fit within others

Specific edits:

  • Summary paragraph
  • Needs much more information; specifically all the information listed below it.
  • Hyperlink "Mozanbique"
  • Description
  • Lack of citations is unacceptable
  • "Remarkably robust and fecund" seems to be subjective
  • Tolerance to varied salinities is "euryhaline," tolerance to varied temperatures is "eurythermal"
  • Home range
  • This section is tiny. Expand, if possible
  • The last sentence is irrelevant to this section
  • Invasiveness
  • the desert pupfish hates your fish
  • Hyperlink!
  • Social structure
  • Add hyperlinks
  • consider expanding this section or creating more paragraphs
  • Reproduction
  • See above
  • Parental care
  • somewhat "jargony"
  • Really needs hyperlinks

Bakerb4379 (talk) 00:16, 1 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Suggested Edits

Invasiveness: should link the Invasive Species Specialist Group to their Wikipedia page

Social Structure: what are some of these aggressive behaviors that the dominant males engage in? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Gopara (talkcontribs) 04:40, 1 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Suggested Edits

  • Consider putting all information in the intro in another section & cite it in those sections. The intro should not contain any new information.
  • Diet and Home Range sections are a little small. Try to expand if possible.
  • Add hyperlinks to diet section.
  • There are citations missing in the Description section.
  • Headings should have the first word capitalized and the rest lowercase.
  • Add more hyperlinks to Communication and aggressive section if possible.
  • Possibly integrate the Other Names section elsewhere, or include it earlier in the article.

VAleles (talk) 17:38, 22 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]