Wikipedia:Writers' rules of engagement

Disputes are all too easy to get into online, especially on a Wiki, where by editing you effectively get to trample other users' words. Online disputes can be all the more bitter, because it's so easy to forget that behind that bald text there sits and types another person, who very probably is here for the same reasons you are.

Don't forget that people usually are protective of their ideas and their taste, which are the things that go into writing and decisions. As a result, egos get hurt easily in editing. As you may have noticed, the response isn't usually a whimper but an urge to strike back. Don't do it. If anything, the talk pages give the opportunity to prevent and assuage bruised egos. Most of all, though, they're a place to forge agreements about how best to write the articles they're attached to.

Here is a list of tips on working toward agreement:

Please remember that Buddha would want you to come to a peaceful resolution of your conflicts!

• Always observe Wikiquette. In particular:
  • Sign and date your posts on discussion pages.
• Keep in mind you have a point of view
• Always make it clear to others what point you are addressing, especially in replies
  • Quoting a post is O.K., but stating how you interpreted it is better. Before proceeding to say that someone is wrong, concede you might have misinterpreted him or her.
• Don't ignore questions.
  • If another disagrees with your edit, provide good reasons why you think it's appropriate.
• Concede a point, when you have no argument against it. Declare when your disagreement is based on intuition or taste.
• Work toward a resolution
  • Don't make people debate positions you don't really hold and don't filibuster
• Avoid labeling: Descriptions like "sexist" and "poorly written" make people defensive. This makes it hard to discuss articles productively.
• If you say something and later wish you hadn't, tell the other person.
• Give praise when due. Everybody likes to feel appreciated, especially in an environment that often requires compromise.
• Don't forget the apology option, if you irritate or upset someone.
  • It's almost never too late to soften a mood.
• If polite discussion fails, take a break if you're arguing or recommend a break if you're mediating.
  • Come back after a week or two. If no one is mediating, and you think mediation is needed, enlist someone.
• Follow the three revert rule - never revert the same page more than three times on the same day.
• Give good edit summaries, so your actions are clear and transparent.

Defensive strategies

Whom are we kidding? Harsh words will get flung around on occasion. Remember, some of us are only 12. Also, seemingly anyone can regress to 12 for short periods of time. Here's some things you can do when someone goes ballistic, vindictive, or anything else off-course from polite.

• Just ignore it. You are not required to respond, and negative comments often don't deserve it.
• Alert your antagonist that they have hurt your feelings. That's what's really the trouble, and it's a lot surer to trigger sympathy than anger is. You are even more likely to receive an apology if the person who offended you hasn't realized it, which is very often the case.
• Edit offensive language out of the record. Replace it with something more civil if the comment contains an actual point. If so, respond to the point and not to the offense.