Ned Flanders

Nedward "Ned" Flanders (circa 1939?- ) is a fictional character on The Simpsons, voiced by Harry Shearer. Ned, along with the rest of his family, is a devout Christian, and is often used to satirize Christian fundamentalism, as well as the "niceness" of doggedly upbeat born-again evangelicals. Homer Simpson once said that Ned is even holier than Jesus. Ned Flanders is named after Flanders St. in Portland, Oregon, the hometown of Simpsons creator Matt Groening.

Ned has the habit of attaching "diddly", "doodly" and other nonsense phrases to sentences ("Hi-diddly-ho", for example). Despite an outward appearance of exceeding meekness, Ned has an exceptionally well-built physique under his sweater. Ned's age cannot be determined, because although he stated that he was 60 in the season 10 episode Viva Ned Flanders (which aired in 1999 so he may have been born in 1939), this comes two years after the season eight episode Hurricane Neddy. That episode has flashbacks to the mid 1950s, and while his age isn't given in the flashback, he can't be more than 10, which when the math is done makes him in his late 40s or early 50s. However, per Much Apu About Nothing, he has allegedly lived on Evergreen Terrace for over forty years, which would support his claim of being in his sixties.

Homer hates Ned because Ned's family, job, health, and everything else in his life seems so much better than his own.

Biography

Ned was raised in New York City by two nihilistic beatniks (who closely resembled John Lennon and Yoko Ono). Their refusal to discipline Ned and terrible parenting skills made him a childhood terror. He was eventually put on an experimental eight-month spanking therapy program (the University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol) which taught him to suppress all feelings of anger. This resulted in Ned bearing a lifelong hatred of his parents—one of only two things that he hates (the other being the line in the post office). Also, all of the family's board games contain no dice, as Ned believes that dice are "wicked" (see Beliefs). Rod says that they just move one space at a time, as it is "less fun that way!". However, in the episode, Lisa's First Word, one can clearly see Rod, Todd and Bart playing a board game with dice during a flashback. It is possible that dice were banned since then.

Ned Flanders is a graduate of Oral Roberts University (as seen when Homer stole his diploma) where he belonged to a fraternity.

At one point Ned Flanders became principal of Springfield Elementary School after Principal Seymour Skinner was fired, despite Ned's thorough lack of administrative skill and experience. Already a shaky establishment to begin with, the school fell apart even more so under Ned's rather lax approach to being principal, putting the whole place on the honor system instead of traditional punishment. Bart eventually decided to get Skinner reinstated, finding that there was no real challenge in pulling pranks under Ned's watch, since Ned didn't have Skinner's uptight personality for Bart to play off of. Ned was eventually fired after Superintendent Chalmers heard him making a prayer over the school intercom, which is not allowed in public schools.

During the course of the series, Ned has represented both the Devil and God. In The Treehouse of Horror IV special, Ned played the Devil/Satan/Prince of Darkness in the opening segment "The Devil & Homer Simpson" (explaining that "It's always the person you least expect") in which the Ned-Satan offers Homer a donut in return for his soul, but is thwarted in a court of law when it was revealed that Homer had already legally promised his soul to Marge when they got married. Later in the series, when Marge fantasizes about being Eve opposite Homer as Adam, Marge/Eve imagines Ned as God (God was never clearly seen, but his voice was certainly that of Ned, and 'God's' arm wore Ned's traditional green sweater).

In the first several episodes he appeared in, Ned seemed to have only one son.

There was a relative of Flanders who served in World War II. He was a superior to Sgt. Abe Simpson. (Note: When Abe threatened to report Pvt. Burns to Flanders, Abe indicates that his rank was commander, which is not a rank in the United States Army. The rank "Commander Flanders" was most likely used as a cute rhyme, which is typical for a Flanders).

Both Ned and his kids rarely if ever refer to his moustache as such, preferring nicknames such as "Nose Neighbor", "Mr. Tickles", "The Soup Strainer", "The Pushbroom", "Dr. Fuzzenstein", etc.

For some reason, he is very afraid to say the word "sex", even when there are no children in sight (he either spells it out or calls it "doodily").

Ned appears to be slightly taller than Homer, who is 6', which would make Ned somewhere between 6' and 6' 2".

Flanders Family

Main article: Flanders family

Ned Flanders had a wife, Maude Flanders, deceased (although it is interesting to note that at one point he was broken up with his wife despite his strict religious beliefs) and two children, Rod and Todd Flanders. Ned presumably named his sons Rod and Todd because both names rhyme with "God". (An alternate theory is that they are meant to rhyme with Maude, their mother whose name also rhymes with God.) His mother's name was revealed as Mona in an early episode (strangely enough, this is also the name of Homer's mother).

When Lisa was being born, Bart went to live at the Flanders' house. At this time, "Grandma Flanders" also lived with him and his family. Very senile, Grandma Flanders called Bart "Joe". It is unclear if she was the grandmother of Rod and Todd (making her Ned's former beatnik mother) or of Ned himself.

Ned is widowed from Maude Flanders and is currently married to a Las Vegas waitress named Ginger. After Ginger managed to track down Ned (Homer's Vegas wife did the same), Ned and his boys tried to reduce Ginger's "peppermint-ness" and have her embrace their Christian lifestyle. However, Ned's goody-goody ways drove her crazy and she fled.

Flanders once met, in Canada, a man very similar to himself in appearance and voice. After exchanging several doodlys and diddleys, Ned was offered a marijuana cigarette by the Canadian Ned, to which he replied, "They always told me Satan would be attractive."

The Leftorium

He quit his earlier career in pharmaceuticals to open a store in the mall called The Leftorium, which specializes in products for left-handed people. He does this because he is left-handed himself. It sells items that are made only for left-handed people, from left-handed can openers to a left-handed car, of which only three were ever made. The Leftorium first appeared on the second floor of the Springfield Mall, but in the episode "Last Tap Dance in Springfield," it was on the first floor. Competitors of The Leftorium include Leftopolis and Left-Mart (a parody of Wal-Mart). Many of the Leftorium's products are merely labeled as "left-handed", such as coffee mugs, pens, or notebook pads.

Beliefs

Despite his firm religious beliefs, Ned is quite timid and often insecure. He is obsessed with following the Bible as literally as possible, "even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff" and is easily shocked when someone challenges his beliefs. This leads to his frequent calls to Reverend Lovejoy ("I... I think I'm coveting my own wife!") who gets increasingly frustrated with Flanders ("Ned...have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same."). His sons are very sheltered and raised in an extremely strict climate of Christian morality. In one episode, it is revealed that they "don't believe in Flu shots".

Most entertainment enjoyed by the family involves religion in some way. For instance, the family has at least five different Trivial Pursuit sets relating to different versions of the Bible. They were also part of a church bowling team called the "Holy Rollers". One of his children's stories concludes "And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to Hell, for practicing witchcraft." Also, though they have satellite TV, nearly all of the 230 channels are blocked out.

Despite being timid, Ned Flanders can sometimes fight for what he believes in, e.g. when Homer and Bart became Roman Catholic, which makes him also bigoted: after having shaken a Catholic priest's hand in The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star he made a "note to self" to get his hand "re-blessed". In the same episode, Bart also tells him he wants to convert to Judaism, and Ned took out a bottle of chloroform. He also showed his "soft anti-semitism" in the episode "A Star is Born-Again", in a day-dream about Hollywood's wickedness: Rod and Todd are in a Mercedes-Benz with two gorgeous women and say that they're movie producers ...and Jewish. In another episode, Ned panics when he sees a constellation of a Star of David in the night sky, but is relieved when it turns into a cross. When Lisa converted to Buddhism he ordered Rod and Todd into an underground shelter, telling them that they may never return to the surface.

Also, in an episode in which Homer has a crayon removed from his brain, Homer states that "Hey, Flanders, I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God". He hands Ned a piece of paper with the proof. Skeptical, Ned says "We'll just see about that." Ned reads the paper. "Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mistake." Ned checks it again. "Nope, it's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out." Ned then uses a lighter to burn the "proof", while, in the background, Homer puts more copies of his no-God paper on the windshields of nearby cars.

It should be noted that despite his intolerance towards other religions and beliefs, he is still honest and sincere in carrying out many of the Christian doctrines of charity, kindness and compassion. He spends every Wednesday working at the Springfield homeless shelter and soup kitchen, and reading to sick children at the hospital (he has met Moe Szyslak also looking after the children there), and is rigorously honest and upright, even going so far as to spend almost an entire day giving a Leftorium customer the extra change Ned forgot to give him by mistake. Ned is also very selfless and brave, risking his life to save Homer from a burning housefire, and even donating one of his kidneys and lungs to whoever asks for them ("First come, first served", he says). Despite his obsession with the rules and regulations of Christianity, Ned Flanders is still a generally good-natured and kind-hearted man who tries to follow what Jesus taught.

Flanders' religious denomination (along with that of Reverend Lovejoy) is a matter of much speculation among fans. In The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star, it's briefly mentioned by Reverend Lovejoy when stating that they will bring Bart and Homer back to the one true faith: "The Western Branch of American Reformed Presby-Lutheranism".

Despite his religious fervor, or perhaps because of it, in Treehouse of Horror IV (outside the usual continuity of the show) he was "revealed" to actually be the Devil. ("It's always the one you least suspect!") He also participated in "Race for the Cure - of Homosexuality" during one of the Halloween episodes.

In the Team Homer episode, Ned bowls with his right hand.

He also has no airbag in his car, because "the church opposes it for some reason". This is contradicted in the episode Much Apu About Nothing when his car's airbag deploys after swerving out of the way of the bear.

Other hobbies and interests

Ned holds a special reverence for the Beatles, remarking to Homer: "Of course I was into the Beatles. They were bigger than Jesus!," in reference to John Lennon's controversial remarks. He has collected many Beatles-related items, including vintage records, novelty Beatles-themed soda cans, Beatles bobble-heads, the identical suits the band wore during their Ed Sullivan Show appearance and a cardboard yellow submarine.

Ned also enjoys brewing and drinking beer. His home has a well-stocked basement game room equipped with a bar, stools, and beer tap.

Episodes Starring Ned

This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Ned Flanders plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.

• Dead Putting Society (Season 2, Episode 6) Homer is determined to embarrass Ned when their sons compete at miniature golf.
• When Flanders Failed (Season 3, Episode 3) Ned quits his job and opens the Leftorium.
• Homer Loves Flanders (Season 5, Episode 16) Homer's sudden camaraderie drives even Ned up the wall.
• Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (Season 7, Episode 3) Ned and Maude become foster parents to the Simpson children.
• Hurricane Neddy (Season 8, Episode 8) The Flanders home is destroyed by a hurricane.
• Viva Ned Flanders (Season 10, Episode 10) Homer takes Ned to Vegas for a lesson in carefree living.
• Alone Again, Natura-Diddily (Season 11, Episode 14) A newly widowed Ned tries to pick up his life.
• I'm Goin' to Praiseland (Season 12, Episode 19) Ned fulfills Maude's dream of opening a Christian amusement park.
• A Star is Born-Again (Season 14, Episode 13) A Hollywood starlet is charmed by Ned.
• Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (Season 16, Episode 8) Ned becomes a religious filmmaker.

"The Adventures of Ned Flanders"

The Adventures of Ned Flanders was a short that appeared at the end of the episode "The Front". Here, the Flanders dedication to religion and perfect family niceness is yet again highlighted when Ned almost scolds his kids, who refuse to get ready for church, only to soon realize that it is Saturday.

The short featured a theme song titled Everyone Loves Ned Flanders.

Hens Love Roosters

Geese Love Ganders

Everyone else loves Ned Flanders

Not me! (spoken by Homer)

Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

"Everybody Hates Ned Flanders"

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders was a hate song Homer wrote in episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch?" In the beginning, Homer tries to write a Christmas song when Ned comes in and irritates him by trying to assist in the song. Homer then created the song which starts...

Everybody in the USA,

Hates their stupid neighbor,

He's Flanders and he's really, really laaaaame,

Flanders tried to wreck my song,

His views on birth control are wrong,

I hate his guts and Flanders is his name

F-L-A-N-R-D-S!

He's the man that I hate best,

I'd like to see his house go up in flames.

F-L-A!

His name is Ned!

E-R-S!

It's a stupid name, he's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No.

You can't upset him even slightly,

He just smiles and nods politely,

Then goes home and worships nightly,

His leftorium, is an emporium, of woe.

F-L-A!

Don't yell at Ned,

D-E-R!

His wife is dead,

Everybody hates that stupid jerk.

Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,

Filling clubs with angry valentinos.

You don't have to move your feet,

Just hate Flanders to the disco beat,

He's your perky peppy nightmare neighborino.

If you despise polite left-handers,

Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders,

Or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd,

F-L-A!

His name is Ned,

D-R-S!

He's so white bread.

The smiling moustache geek who walks with God.

References outside The Simpsons

Radio talk show host and cultural commentator Michael Medved often says that he was the inspiration for the character Ned Flanders. Medved notes such similarities as the glasses, the mustache, the sweaters, and the faith-based lifestyle (except that Flanders is a born-again Christian, while Medved is an observant Jew). In a possible reverse-reference, in the episode "The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" the Flanders children are portrayed as consulting a movie guide titled "What Would Jesus View?" (a pun on "What would Jesus do?") by Michael Medved.

In The Fairly Oddparents TV movie, "Channel Chasers", a parody of Ned Flanders, a parody of Barney Gumble, as well as a parody of Krusty the Clown were in a scene that was a parody of The Simpsons. He said "well hidilly-diddily-diddily-daddily-diddily-daddily!"

During an episode of Cheap Seats on ESPN Classic that focused on a poker tournament, the Sklar Brothers mocked one of the players for looking like Ned Flanders.

Players of the Australian cricket team refer to their coach John Buchanan as Ned, mainly because of his close similaritites with Ned Flanders like the thick moustache and spectacles. In recent times, John has shaved his moustache to avoid getting teased.

Ex-Radio 1 now Radio 2 DJ Steve Wright looks like Ned Flanders.