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Feel free to |
Feel free to disagree with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my on preferences and prejudices on others. |
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===Prose=== |
===Prose=== |
Revision as of 23:55, 14 April 2014
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Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 23:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)
Feel free to disagree with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my on preferences and prejudices on others.
Prose
- What brand of English are you using? I see "towards" (predominantly Commonwealth), "humor" (US), "emphasised" & "characterisation" (Commonwealth, though not common in Canada).
- I think a lot of your "however"s could be dropped without losing anything.
Lead
- Can we get IPA for his name?
- for a time at the railroad: at a particular railroad?
- becoming an author c. 1923: Not an error or anything, but I'm a fan of prose that can be read aloud and save the "c."s for captions, taable entries, etc.
- in social welfare which influenced his novels: a comma after "welfare", othrwise it's the "social welfare which influenced his novels" that he was interested in
- He was also a productive translator, dramatist, and reporter, who operated a company which offered writing services: was it as a translator, dramatist, and reporter that he operated such a company? If not, then drop "who" and substitute "and" or something.
- such as wayang and pantun are still evident: Are these literary styles, genres ...?
Biography
- If West Java is a province, why is it lowercase western Java here?
- and graduated from a Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (equivalent to a junior high school) there: having "there" after the parentheses is awkward; you could stick it after "graduated".
- He spent some time working: you could safely drop "some"
- He was an active member of the Sarekat Rakya: the what?
- the couple had no children of their own: some would consider this insensistive; how about "had no biological children"?
- operated by the Dutch colonial government: maybe link this?
- when the dangding: worthy of a redlink?
- Tjeurik Oma (Oma's Cry): or Tjeurik Oma ("Oma's Cry") to make it clear the translation is a translation, rather than part of the title?
- However, sources disagree: you could safely drop the "however", especially since there's another one coming right up.
Works
- Since all the works listed are in Sundanese, is there any point in stating so for each work?
Style
- the European concept of novels: meaning they took the form of European novels?
- Unlike the more formal language: is there a distinction being made here between "formal" and "more formal"?
Themes
- so blinded by their lust for lucre: nice turn of phrase, but is it "encyclopaedic"?
- their wealth and societal position: not "positions"?
- Beware, never, forget, one's mind: is there a stray comma here?
- large interest rates for a loan: many interest rates for a single loan?
Legacy
- This began with the republication: "this" appears to point to "Joehana's use of non-formal Sundanese", rather than the academic interest I think you meant it to.
Refs
- I can't actually check any of the references as none of them are in a language I understand, but I spotted no warning signs of inappropriate use.
- According to WordlCat, anyways, ISBN 978-979-8002-31-1 is in Sundanese. Shouldn't there be a "|language= Sundanese" in there? (and do you actually read all those languages—Indonesian, Malay, Sundanese?)
- What language is OCLC 248133402 in?
Images
- All clear
- One FU image, apporopriately tagged
- Three other images, all of which have fallen into the PD, are on Commons, and are appropriately tagged
Misc
- The article appears thorough, comprehensive, and balanced, as far as I can tell without being able to examine the sources.