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Feel free to disagre with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my on preferences and prejudices on others.
Feel free to disagree with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my on preferences and prejudices on others.


===Prose===
===Prose===

Revision as of 23:55, 14 April 2014

GA Review

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Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 23:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Feel free to disagree with anything—some of it's merely me trying to force my on preferences and prejudices on others.

Prose

  • What brand of English are you using? I see "towards" (predominantly Commonwealth), "humor" (US), "emphasised" & "characterisation" (Commonwealth, though not common in Canada).
  • I think a lot of your "however"s could be dropped without losing anything.

Lead

  • Can we get IPA for his name?
  • for a time at the railroad: at a particular railroad?
  • becoming an author c. 1923: Not an error or anything, but I'm a fan of prose that can be read aloud and save the "c."s for captions, taable entries, etc.
  • in social welfare which influenced his novels: a comma after "welfare", othrwise it's the "social welfare which influenced his novels" that he was interested in
  • He was also a productive translator, dramatist, and reporter, who operated a company which offered writing services: was it as a translator, dramatist, and reporter that he operated such a company? If not, then drop "who" and substitute "and" or something.
  • such as wayang and pantun are still evident: Are these literary styles, genres ...?

Biography

  • If West Java is a province, why is it lowercase western Java here?
  • and graduated from a Meer Uitgebreid Lager Onderwijs (equivalent to a junior high school) there: having "there" after the parentheses is awkward; you could stick it after "graduated".
  • He spent some time working: you could safely drop "some"
  • He was an active member of the Sarekat Rakya: the what?
  • the couple had no children of their own: some would consider this insensistive; how about "had no biological children"?
  • operated by the Dutch colonial government: maybe link this?
  • when the dangding: worthy of a redlink?
  • Tjeurik Oma (Oma's Cry): or Tjeurik Oma ("Oma's Cry") to make it clear the translation is a translation, rather than part of the title?
  • However, sources disagree: you could safely drop the "however", especially since there's another one coming right up.

Works

  • Since all the works listed are in Sundanese, is there any point in stating so for each work?

Style

  • the European concept of novels: meaning they took the form of European novels?
  • Unlike the more formal language: is there a distinction being made here between "formal" and "more formal"?

Themes

  • so blinded by their lust for lucre: nice turn of phrase, but is it "encyclopaedic"?
  • their wealth and societal position: not "positions"?
  • Beware, never, forget, one's mind: is there a stray comma here?
  • large interest rates for a loan: many interest rates for a single loan?

Legacy

  • This began with the republication: "this" appears to point to "Joehana's use of non-formal Sundanese", rather than the academic interest I think you meant it to.

Refs

  • I can't actually check any of the references as none of them are in a language I understand, but I spotted no warning signs of inappropriate use.
  • According to WordlCat, anyways, ISBN 978-979-8002-31-1 is in Sundanese. Shouldn't there be a "|language= Sundanese" in there? (and do you actually read all those languages—Indonesian, Malay, Sundanese?)
  • What language is OCLC 248133402 in?

Images

  • All clear
  • One FU image, apporopriately tagged
  • Three other images, all of which have fallen into the PD, are on Commons, and are appropriately tagged

Misc

  • The article appears thorough, comprehensive, and balanced, as far as I can tell without being able to examine the sources.

———Curly Turkey (gobble) 23:55, 14 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]