Jump to content

User:The cardinal points are not news/III: Difference between revisions

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Browse history interactively
Content deleted Content added
VisualWikitext
Do you really need to know what I created this page with?
 
←Replaced content with 'Hi.'
 
Line 1: Line 1:
Hi.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550141354&oldid=550141212 300: New Portuguese ministers Luís Marques Guedes and Miguel Poiares Maduro take office.]
**'''They're both such beautiful men. Marques Guedes for president twenty twenty-one! Poiares Maduro for prime minister twenty twenty-seven! Miguel Relvas for king of the world thirty thirteen!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=550141212&oldid=549988104 299: Pope Francis names eight cardinals as advisors for revision of Roman curia.]
**'''Now they have an excuse for playing <s>cardinals with his holiness,</s> cards with his holiness, with an ecclesiastical deck. The king is the heavenly father, the jack is the <u>holy</u> father, and the queen is the good shepherd. (...) Tomorrow the game will be poker, because I'm the pope and I just got the joker.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549988104&oldid=549845734 298: Pope Francis visits holy-see secretariat of state.]
**'''Third loggia? Three hundred staff members? I know a conspiracy when I see one.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549845734&oldid=549842976 297: Pope emeritus Benedict XVI's health has deteriorated.]
**'''When pope Benedict dies, he should immediately be made a saint. Giving up the ministry so the church won't be damaged by a frail leadership is an act of tremendous courage and selflessness. May God bless <s>the united states of America.</s> our bishop emeritus.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549842976&oldid=549841636 296: Pope Francis holds audience with Mozambican prime minister Alberto Vaquina.]
**'''I laugh at you, Mozambique. Ha ha ha ha ha. A former Portuguese colony where the head of government's last name is basically the Portuguese word for little cow? Come on. Just change your name to Mozambia.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549841636&oldid=549714150 295: Pope Francis greets U.S.'s papal foundation.]
**'''No shit. Were you expecting him to say «I don't want your money», «go give it to the less fortunate»? (...) Actually, that's something you <u>might</u> have been expecting to hear from the pope of the poor. My bad.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549714150&oldid=549667085 294: Pope Francis sends letter to Argentine-supreme-court president Ricardo Lorenzetti.]
**'''His name is Lawrence? And he's a lawyer? (...) No. <u>If his name were San Lorenzo</u>, his name would be Lawrence.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549667085&oldid=549665958 293: Pope Francis holds general audience for third time.]
**'''Living like God's children? You mean like Matteo and Valentino Martin? That takes <s>mummy.</s> money.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549665958&oldid=549523727 292: Pope Francis sends twelfth and thirteenth tweets.]
**'''Here's my philosophical rebuttal. (...) What's the point of our lives being made new and filled with serenity and joy if Christ has taken possession of them? (...) There's no doubt the second coming will be pretty awesome, but what do you think of this Jesus comeback?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549523727&oldid=549523091 291: U.N. secretary general Ban Ki-moon calls pope Francis man of peace and purpose after audience.]
**'''The funder of a statue in Poland that will be unveiled on Saturday as the tallest statue of pope John Paul II is also responsible for a double papal compliment. Guy called the late pontiff a great <u>and good</u> man. I understand what he meant, but wouldn't it have been better to say good <u>and great</u> man?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549523091&oldid=549386812 290: American T.V. host Stephen Colbert helps former president Bill Clinton create Twitter account.]
**'''Billy Jeff Clinton? Worst... user name... of the week. (...) What's all this about some idiot trying to shoot Obama after a gun speech?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549386812&oldid=549317038 289: Pope Francis holds audience with German church leader Nikolaus Schneider.]
**'''Doctor Schneider? Sounds kinda Nazi. (...) Don't patronize me! Doctor Schneider is the name of the Nazi girl who went on the last crusade.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549317038&oldid=549315735 288: Pope Francis blesses centenarian Canadian priest Paul Emile Côté.]
**'''I must ask, father. How does it feel to be five percent the age of the universal church?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549315735&oldid=549190141 287: Former U.K. prime minister Margaret Thatcher dead at eighty-seven.]
**'''R.I.P..
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549190141&oldid=549140845 286: Pope Francis enthroned as bishop of Rome.]
**'''My. That's one hell of a chair. I bet his holiness is gonna use it all the time.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549140845&oldid=549074566 285: Pope Francis sends eleventh tweet.]
**'''I know Jesus wants me to be tolerant, but I can't take in what the pope has to say if he's using «N» dashes.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549074566&oldid=549063243 284: Pope Francis to rename his cathedral's square after predecessor John Paul II during installation ceremony.]
**'''From saint John Lateran to blessed John Paul II? When pope John Paul II becomes a saint, will the square be renamed saint John Paul II? Perhaps. However, should scientists prove that the name Paul equals half the name Lateran, it will have to be restored to its original name. Here's a possible proof. (...) Because Lateran equals four and Paul equals two, Lateran equals Paul plus Paul, which equals Paul times Paul, which equals Paul to the power of Paul, which equals Paul public-squared.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=549063243&oldid=548986297 283: Pope Francis to meet with U.N. secretary general Ban Ki-moon on Tuesday.]
**'''Mister «dalai lama». How would you like to be the holy see's first secretary general of the united congregations? (...) Six months, baby. Average of one point five five five entries per day. Boogie down!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548986297&oldid=548910214 282: Pope Francis names Franciscan leader José Rodríguez Carballo congregation secretary.]
**'''Appointing a number one as a number two for appointment number two and curia appointment number one, and he's a Francis can. I like it.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548910214&oldid=548821357 281: Pope Francis adopts predecessor Benedict XVI's directive on sex abuse.]
**'''Why not adopt a <s>cardinal instead?</s> molested child instead?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548821357&oldid=548687241 280: Vice president Wilfred Mesquita says Indian ruling party will be proud to have pope Francis in Goa.]
**'''His name is Mosque. It's a trap!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548687241&oldid=548665575 279: Portuguese minister of parliamentary affairs Miguel Relvas resigns.]
**'''«Mister prime mister. I wanna quit. «Dá licença»?» The head of government didn't even hesitate. ««Está licensiado».»
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548665575&oldid=548662072 278: Pope Francis sends condolences to Argentine-flood victims.]
**'''Google Translate tells me Italians pronounce condolences as «cordoglio», and I find that suspicious. I mean... Isn't the pope's birth name Jorge Mario Cordoglio? And isn't he supposed to prevent natural disasters in his country?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548662072&oldid=548558619 277: Pope Francis sends tenth tweet.]
**'''So lips equals words times heart divided by love?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548558619&oldid=548517424 276: In soccer, Barcelona president Sandro Rosell invites pope Francis to watch match at Camp Nou.]
**'''If you guys want his holiness to go to your stadium, you're gonna have to change the club's name to Barcielona, because «cielo» is the Italian word for heaven, and because the name Barcelona is too similar to the name <s>of the Portuguese city of</s> Barcelos.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548517424&oldid=548471351 275: Pope Francis visits predecessor John Paul II's tomb.]
**'''You know how many «I»s the word visits has? II!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548471351&oldid=548352249 274: Pope Francis holds general audience for second time.]
**'''The fundamental role of women in the church? What's this? «The Da Vinci Code»? The big ten is not for a few days.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548352249&oldid=548324387 273: Pope John Paul II died eight years ago.]
**'''Forty-six days before his eighty-fifth birthday. (...) II - 46 + 85 = 41. Forty-one days before his death, the holy father granted an annulment to Disco Stu.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548324387&oldid=548218117 272: Anonymous holy-see official says pope Francis can close Vatican bank if he wants to.]
**'''Duh. He's the pope. He can close anything. <s>He can even close a deal with the devil.</s> What did you think pontiff meant? The pope builds bridges. The pope brings people <u>close</u> to one another. He's Santa Close.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548218117&oldid=548212832 271: In soccer, Sporting Lisbon beat Braga three-two.]
**'''Diego Capel looks like Passos Coelho. (...) I <u>could</u> tell you who Diego Capel is, and I <u>could</u> tell you who Passos Coelho is, but you're right in front of the free encyclopedia.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548212832&oldid=548202013 270: Pope Francis missing part of lung, not whole lung.]
**'''Now I can breathe easier.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548202013&oldid=548143604 269: Photos of pope Francis's visit to saint Peter's tomb released.]
**'''Wow. The first pope and the current pope. I wonder what they talked about. (...) Four weeks was wrong. I said four weeks because an article I read said the visit would be on the afternoon of April second, but they also called it Easter Monday, so I should have known they meant today. (Pity. It was the perfect coincidence.) See the last entry if you're lost, or go to confession.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548143604&oldid=548125123 268: Pope Francis to visit saint Peter's tomb with basilica archpriest Angelo Comastri.]
**'''Exactly four weeks after the «Tomb Raider» reboot was released. I hope they're not thinking of doing what I think they're thinking of doing.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548125123&oldid=548120537 267: Pope Francis recites «regina coeli» for first time.]
**'''I thought the word «coeli» had something to do with rabbits. You know, because of Easter, and because in Portuguese «coelho» means rabbit. (...) Vatican Radio is using Wikipedia!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548120537&oldid=548012593 266: Pope Francis considering to let astronomers use saint Peter's dome as planetarium.]
**'''Yes. Let's all worship Jupiter. That'll please the lord.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548012593&oldid=548002435 265: American cardinal Timothy Dolan calls pope Francis's election a shot in the arm.]
**'''I call it a pain in the ass, for sports fans everywhere. (...) Pope Donus II? (...) Just realized you can look at entry two sixty as a clock.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=548002435&oldid=547967131 264: Jerusalem Latin patriarch Fouad Twal invites pope Francis to visit holy city.]
**'''Is the Vatican not holy enough a city? Is its holiness not whole? (...) Oh. That's right. The Vatican is a country.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547967131&oldid=547961236 263: Pope Francis and Rome chief rabbi Riccardo Di Segni exchange season greetings.]
**'''The middle-<u>easter</u>n conflicts became more serious as the hours <u>pass</u>ed, but that wasn't news in a time when two holidays <u>over</u>lapped. (I know it barely rhymes, but what am I? A poep?) (...) In case you didn't get the pun, I was trying to combine the words poet and pope. (...) Yes. It was a pun.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547961236&oldid=547957949 262: Pope Francis gives blessing «urbi et orbi» for first time.]
**'''Cardinal Tauran was just standing there like a holy boss.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547957949&oldid=547957287 261: Pope Francis sends ninth tweet.]
**'''Pope Benedict sent thirty-nine tweets in his seventy-eight days in Twitter, which is half a tweet per day. Pope Francis has sent <u>nine</u> tweets in his <u>fourteen</u> days in Twitter, which is nine fourteenths of a tweet per day. He is already failing to live up to expectations.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547957287&oldid=547903503 260: Pope Francis celebrates Easter mass.]
**'''Easter? Bunny. Bunny? Bono. Bono? Bono Vox. Bono Vox? Latin. Latin? Church. Church? Easter. Easter? (...) Pope Franceaster.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547903503&oldid=547885673 259: Pope Francis attends annual lunch organized by Roselle titular archbishop Giovanni Angelo Becciu.]
**'''The pope told the other priests he wanted to speak, but then he took all the food. They thought the raw vegetables were pretty weak, but they were sure the rest was very good. The hungriest really wanted to hear, but he took off his hood. He knew the end of the meeting was near, but he wasn't in the mood. He bashed his head on the table. It was death by wood.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547885673&oldid=547881114 258: Pope Francis celebrates Easter vigil.]
**'''You know who else was there? Sister Michel. (...) No. She's not a guy. Michel is her <u>sur</u>name.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547881114&oldid=547875923 257: Paris's Eiffel tower evacuated after bomb threat.]
**'''Imagine the tower could speak. What would it have said if they hadn't evacuated? (...) Now, at the end, I finally understand. I am the «I fall» tower.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547875923&oldid=547735653 256: Pope Francis says shroud of Turin brings word of God.]
**'''Ah. Yes. The holy shroud, or the «H» and «S», or the head and shoulders branded on the cloth by antimatter during the resurrection of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547735653&oldid=547705317 255: Shroud of Turin to be televised for first time in forty years during live Italian broadcast introduced by pope Francis.]
**'''So it dates back to the first century? The man it shows may be the Lionel messiah after all? I <u>wanna</u> believe, but I can't help feeling the Turin shroud is a Turin charade.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547705317&oldid=547696578 254: Holy-see spokesman Federico Lombardi calls pope Francis's decision to wash women's feet absolutely licit.]
**'''Hiya, girl. I'm Francis. I only have one lung, so my heart has plenty of room.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547696578&oldid=547691332 253: Pope Francis leads way of the cross around colosseum.]
**'''I watched some of it live on the Vatican's news site, and I got the feeling they were just walking in circles. (Get it? 'Cuz the colosseum is round.)
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547691332&oldid=547659884 252: North Korea puts missiles to attack U.S. on standby.]
**'''Kim better not start World War III, 'cuz if he does he'll share Baby Panay's fate. (...) That's right. He'll share B.P.'s fate. He'll be fined for causing an oil spill in a video game with four nuclear missiles.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547659884&oldid=547617374 251: Pope Francis celebrates passion of Christ in saint Peter's basilica.]
**'''Or passion of <u>the christ</u>. (...) Since the pope is a chemical technician, I propose that, from now on, the passion be referred to as the potion of the crust.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547617374&oldid=547512603 250: Pope Francis's coat of arms changed.]
**'''I give this new coat of arms eight stars. (...) I also give it what seems to be a root of some sort. (...) Here's a scroll too. (...) Now you can sit back and see the stars while you smoke a cigar made of a root and a scroll.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547512603&oldid=547483046 249: Italian-election winner Pier Luigi Bersani tells president Giorgio Napolitano he can't form new government.]
**'''This isn't funny any more. Italy is making fools of us all. (...) Boy. I tell you... If Italy weren't home to the Vatican, I don't know what I'd to her. I'd probably kick her right in her tits, with <u>my</u> boot. (A guy actually did that on Portuguese television. I just don't know what kind of footwear he had.) I could also try to italicize her, but I might get arrested.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547483046&oldid=547464909 248: Pope Francis authorizes sixteen new candidates for sainthood.]
**'''One of them, the last one on the list, is from my country, and just like that I'm singing in the rain. (...) I didn't notice this at the time, but the previous entry speaks about people washing their feet beforehand.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547464909&oldid=547448036 247: Pope Francis washes feet of prisoners at youth detention center in Rome.]
**'''[[User:The cardinal points are not news/the papal regidence|But they washed them themselves beforehand. Right?]]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547448036&oldid=547436211 246: U.S. president Barack Obama bounces soccer ball off head during meeting with champions L.A. Galaxy.]
**'''I've seen him play basketball and do push-ups, but this is too much. That's the head he makes all those decisions with.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547436211&oldid=547434465 245: Pope Francis names Santa Rosa bishop Mario Poli his successor as Buenos Aires archbishop.]
**'''Another Mario? This is fucking nepotism!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547434465&oldid=547433798 244: Pope Francis sends eighth tweet.]
**'''Shepherds? Why not sherpas?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547433798&oldid=547420316 243: Mobile app for shroud of Turin to be released March twenty-ninth.]
**'''So we're supposed to be exploring, or <u>touring</u>, the shroud in detail? And by «we» I don't mean me, 'cuz I don't have no phone of the future. I'm too Roman catholic.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547420316&oldid=547345508 242: Pope Francis celebrates chrism mass.]
**'''The chrism is Christ's schism.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547345508&oldid=547342893 241: In soccer, Italy manager Cesare Prandelli wants friendly against Argentina and audience with pope Francis.]
**'''<s>Shut up! I called it first.</s> Render unto Cesare the things that are Cesare's.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547342893&oldid=547315879 240: Former Portuguese prime minister José Sócrates says in interview he won't run for public office.]
**''' He's no Passos, but he's a good guy, and he's George Clooney handsome. The journalists who interviewed him, however, are not qualified for what they were doing. They're not qualified in any way, <s>José.</s> <s>«rosé».</s> hozay.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547315879&oldid=547314937 239: Pope Francis to take possession of cathedral on April seventh.]
**'''No. Wait. He can't. (...) There's a reason it's called the archbasilica of saint John Lateran. It belongs to saint John Lateran!
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547314937&oldid=547242572 238: Documentary «Francis: Election of a Pope from the Ends of the Earth» to be released April second.]
**'''Wow. Forty days of history in one documentary. «An Inconvenient Truth» only documents <u>half an hour</u> of history.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547242572&oldid=547237346 237: Pope Francis sends sixth and seventh tweets.]
**'''When the pope gives up on periods, you know the press has won.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547237346&oldid=547233020 236: Pope Francis holds general audience for first time.]
**'''I bet that's why <u>general</u> Petraeus made an apology yesterday. Why else would he wait a hundred and thirty-seven days? Because the secret service now has a woman on top? (Yeah. I said it.)
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547233020&oldid=547172330 235: Pope Francis featured on one million limited-edition bus tickets in Rome.]
**'''Now I can have the holy bishop in the palm of my hand everywhere I go, no matter what bus I take, but wasn't this the whole point of the pope app for smartphones I've been hearing so much about?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547172330&oldid=547171122 234: Chief of staff Julia Pierson to be first female director of U.S. secret service.]
**'''«I don't get it, Michael. What's so secret about your job?» Michael sighed. «I didn't think it would come to this, but it's time you knew.» He took a deep breath. «Karen. I work for a woman.»
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547171122&oldid=547170277 233: Street in Argentine city of La Plata named after pope Francis.]
**'''But he already had San Francisco.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547170277&oldid=547085679 232: Pope Francis chooses Vatican hotel over papal apartment.]
**'''What kind of jerk lives in a hotel? This man should show some humility and take the damn apartment.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547085679&oldid=547003905 231: Holy-see U.N. permanent observer Francis Assisi Chullikatt calls for treaty regulating arms trade.]
**'''Francis Assisi? And he's an archbishop? I assume that the other Francis, the pope, has never heard of him, 'cuz if he had I probably would never have.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=547003905&oldid=546931674 230: Pope Francis gives advice to journalists from Vatican newspaper «L'Osservatore Romano».]
**'''He told them to convert to Jediism while there's still time, but they told him they had already seen the force in space from their Roman observatory.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546931674&oldid=546904377 229: Pope Francis sends Passover telegram to Rome chief rabbi Riccardo Di Segni.]
**'''His heliness [sic] keeps asking people to pray for him. He's the pope, for the love of Peter Bishop of <s>Rome.</s> «Fringe». (...) Relax. He's not in hell, and he's not sick.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546904377&oldid=546819622 228: Pope Francis holds audience with Canadian cardinal Marc Ouellet, Brazilian cardinal João Braz de Aviz, and Mexican ambassador Federico Ling Altamirano.]
**'''Mark and John? The evangelists? Those guys suck. (...) No. Sorry. I had them confused with Evan Almighty.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546819622&oldid=546807750 227: Central African president François Bozizé retreats to D.R. Congo after rebels capture capital.]
**'''Shouldn't rebels in a central African republic be sort of neutral? You know, because of their centrality. Something like «we're bad boys and we don't like the president, but we don't have anything against him either». (...) King Congo won't let them hurt him. How many national leaders have the same name as the pope?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546807750&oldid=546801465 226: San Salvador archbishop José Luis Escobar Alas says assassinated predecessor Óscar Romero warrants being canonized.]
**'''Jeez, dude. Don't you think four is a little too many? (...) Wait. That's no way to address an archbishop. How do you address an archbishop? Let me think. (...) <s>Your excellency?</s> I'll kill you. I'll kill you for what you did to me. (...) If you must know, this last bit is from the «Simpsons» episode «My Fair Laddy».
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546801465&oldid=546744718 225: Former Sporting Lisbon presidential candidate Bruno de Carvalho elected president two years later.]
**'''Now that he's prez, B.D.C. should change his name to <u>Burno</u> de <u>Cravalho</u>. In English, «Burno» means he's on fire, which is good. In Portuguese, «Cravalho» makes it seem like he's a carnation and a moocher, which is ambiguous.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546744718&oldid=546743363 224: Video of meeting between pope Francis and predecessor Benedict XVI released.]
**'''Pope Benedict is walking with a cane. Castel Gandolfo strikes back? (...) Beautiful recording.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546743363&oldid=546718667 223: Pope Francis sends fifth tweet.]
**'''I take it the evil one is the galactic emperor.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546718667&oldid=546716731 222: Pope Francis sends fourth tweet.]
**'''A tweet every Sunday? Not bad. I just can't help but notice that <u>roosters</u> crow every morning.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546716731&oldid=546662121 221: Pope Francis celebrates palm Sunday, recites «angelus» for second time.]
**'''I thought I was gonna watch this live on YouTube, but guess the hell what. (...) Rio de Janeiro in July? Why not River of May in March?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546662121&oldid=546635829 220: American T.V. host Bill Maher says pope Francis is executive who got a promotion.]
**'''[[User:The cardinal points are not news/the religionship|Sounds about right, but he's still the coolest leader in both the planet and the world. (...) Religion is like Wikipedia? Makes <s>perfect sense.</s> <s>papal sense.</s> purple sense.]]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546635829&oldid=546549320 219: Pope Francis said in his book «On Heaven and Earth» celibacy rule can change.]
**'''I'm sure he meant the <u>celebrity</u> rule can change, whatever that is.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546549320&oldid=546526186 218: Photos of meeting between pope Francis and predecessor Benedict XVI released.]
**'''Hey, guys. Check it out. It's me with the pope.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546526186&oldid=546521339 217: Video game «Just Cause 2» turns three.]
**'''The sequel is out? (...) Oh. You're saying it was released three years ago. You know what was also released three years ago today? «Skyfall», but it wasn't three years ago. It was five months ago. (...) «Skyfall» is the latest James Bond. «Just Cause 2» is the latest Rico Rodriguez. James Rodríguez is a soccer player. Rico Bond should be a professional <s>skyfaller.</s> skydiver.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546521339&oldid=546515513 216: American historian and theologian Matthew Bunson writing biography of pope Francis.]
**'''Possible titles are «Bioglio» and «Bergography». I like «Bergography» better.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546515513&oldid=546403132 215: Pope Francis leaves Vatican in helicopter to have lunch with predecessor Benedict XVI.]
**'''«How's the lamb, your holiness», Benedict asked. «Worthy of a pope, your holiness», Francis replied. «I know I shouldn't, but could you pass the body and the blood?»
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546403132&oldid=546305366 214: Italian president Giorgio Napolitano asks democratic leader Pier Luigi Bersani to form new government.]
**'''«Pier Luigi Bersani»? Don't you mean «Pier Luigi Bersoni»? You must be thinking of the other guy, Silvio Berluscani.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546305366&oldid=546301464 213: In soccer, Israel and Portugal draw three-three in Tel Aviv.]
**'''I think Paulo Bento looks like Mads Mikkelsen. (...) I'm sorry. I meant to say <u>pope Paul Benedict</u> looks like Mads Mikkelsen.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546301464&oldid=546279804 212: F.C.C. chairman Julius Genachowski announces resignation.]
**'''They say the pope should lead by example.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546279804&oldid=546163974 211: Pope Francis holds audience with holy see's diplomatic corps.]
**'''You know what's way better than diplomacy? A sea of diplomas, and supremacy, papal supremacy. Did you know that, as picker of Christ, Popeye Francis has the power to force diplomats to watch cartoons?
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546163974&oldid=546142612 210: Pope Francis calls Buenos Aires news stand to cancel paper delivery.]
**'''Hello? It's the pope. I'm calling to tell you God said he wants prices to be low. (...) Shush. I think they're buying it.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546142612&oldid=546108201 209: Catholic News Service posts Batman story on website.]
**'''[[User:The cardinal points are not news/behind the sins|Vatican hacked? Oh, heck. (...) I got scared, but I still have the <s>hiccups.</s> hicks.]]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546108201&oldid=546103444 208: Argentine soccer player Lionel Messi proud pope Francis is fellow countryman.]
**'''<u>I</u>'m proud Cristiano Ronaldo is Portuguese, but you don't hear <u>me</u> babbling on about it. (You wouldn't, but play along.) I only babble on about how proud I am that there's a movie called «Night Train to Lisbon» that stars Jeremy Irons, Mélanie Laurent, Bruno Ganz, and Christopher Lee.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546103444&oldid=546073824 207: Durham bishop Justin Welby enthroned as Canterbury archbishop.]
**'''People tell me that he, like pope Francis, doesn't believe in wealth. <u>Just in well-being.</u> (...) Durham bishop? More like <u>Olivia</u> Dunham and <u>Walter</u> Bishop.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546073824&oldid=546065572 206: Former Portuguese prime minister José Sócrates to be pundit for state television R.T.P..]
**'''From prime minister of Portugal to president of the consultative council of Octapharma to political commentator? He's <s>so crazy.</s> <s>Sócrazy.</s> Sarkozy. (...) I officially declare this to be my best joke ever.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546065572&oldid=546048328 205: Pope Francis holds audience with Tanzanian prime minister Mizengo Pinda.]
**'''P.M. Tanzengo Pindania has come to do the tango with the holy pope. (...) What? The tango isn't from Tanzania? Of course it is. Here's proof. (...) Tan<s>zania Mizen</s>go.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=546048328&oldid=545753445 204: Madrilene wax museum presents clay bust of pope Francis.]
**'''«Madre mia». So that's what a black pope would look like.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=545753445&oldid=545738268 203: Pope Francis's book «On Heaven and Earth» to be published in English in May.]
**'''«On Heaven and Earth»? I bet that book is so <u>heavy</u> it's gonna give <u>birth</u>. (...) Go ahead. Say it. I'm the best there is.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=545738268&oldid=545683990 202: Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe calls for pope Francis to visit Africa.]
**'''Oh, my god. Look at this man's profile photo on Wikipedia. He's the fucking devil. No wonder no one wanted him in the inauguration.
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news&diff=545683990&oldid=545683642 201: Pope Francis holds audiences with Brazilian president Dilma Rousseff, Constantinople patriarch Bartholomew I, and Volokolask metropolitan Hilarion Alfeyev.]
**'''He gave each of them prototypes from his new project, the papal cereal <u>brand</u>. The prototypes are shaped like his ring of the fisherman, made of chocolate, and covered in milk. The brand is named Pope <u>Brancis</u>. Get it? Because of all the miller's <u>bran</u>.

Latest revision as of 20:09, 12 May 2014

Hi.

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/enwiki/w/index.php?title=User:The_cardinal_points_are_not_news/III&oldid=608273455"