Talk:Solipskier/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Salvidrim! (talk · contribs) 15:16, 10 July 2014 (UTC)

• @Czar: I will do this over the weekend. ☺ · Salvidrim! · ✉

Thanks! Looking forward to it czar ♔ 15:19, 10 July 2014 (UTC)

I may not have time before the weekend (I'm incorrigible, I know), so feel free to look for another reviewer if you must; however with the GAN backlog I doubt this delay will be problematic. :) ☺ · Salvidrim! · ✉ 16:21, 16 July 2014 (UTC)

I'm in no rush, myself. Though thanks for the heads up czar ♔ 16:45, 16 July 2014 (UTC)

Hey @Salvidrim!, just wanted to put this back on your radar, in case it got lost czar ♔ 17:33, 27 July 2014 (UTC)

Doing it now, a thousand apologies for the delay. ☺ · Salvidrim! · ✉ 02:38, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

• First review done. Please see the issues I raised lower. Do me a favor and reply in-line to them, I'll strike them through as they are resolved. ☺ · Salvidrim! · ✉ 03:25, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

GA-class criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

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I'll update this as I go along

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall: Pending reply to the concerns raised

   Pass/Fail:

Lede

• Solipskier is a sports video game for Adobe Flash, iOS, and Android by Mikengreg, a two-man independent development team consisting of Michael Boxleiter and Greg Wohlwend. - between "Android" and "by", there should probably be a verb, like "developped" or something analoguous.
• Please wikilink "independent" to a relevan page about indie developpers.
• "the pair" seems to far from what it is referencing. Also, see Reception concerns conerning "widespread acclaim".
• In the Infobox, please add to the "release date" field to account for the different release date on Android.

Gameplay

• The gameplay section specifically mentions touch controls ("the player's finger..."), but this game is not exclusive to touch-based devices; I personally have only ever played it on a computer, with a mouse. Also present in the lede.

The sources almost exclusively referred to the touchscreen version, but I removed the specificity ♔

• I feel like the last two sentences of this section (original Flash release and title origins) would be more appropriate for Development.
• It also has an online leaderboard (...), "it" is too far from what it is referencing, considering the sentence just before this one.
• The last sentence says it was a Flash game before being ported to iOS, but the Development sections says these two versions were released at the same time.

Development

• First sentence: what limitations? Is the fact that the game was first desiged as a Flash game supported by a reference? Perhaps recycle another existing one.
• Can we have more info what Intuition Games is? It is mentioned, but perhaps you could wikilink to the section in Greg's or Mikengreg's article?

Reception

• Why is "generally favorable" in quotation marks?

Because it's a direct quote ♔

• The first sentence of the last paragraph of Development says "widespread acclaim", which seems to clash with Reception stating it received "generally favorable" reviews.
• The reception template is looking rather desolate with only two reviews and two aggregators, which all conveys pretty much the same information. What do you think of integrating both scores in prose, as well as the Metacritic average?

I think it serves its purpose. I know I prefer to see the box for scores rather than digging through the prose ♔

External Links

• I don't really like, visually, the Commons link without any support, bullet, whatever. Maybe bullet it, and add a second EL? Like the Kongregate page for the game?

I never bullet the Commons link and it hasn't been an issue. I added an external link, though ♔

Media content

• I understand that free content should be used with fervor, but am unsure whether the article really needs 6 pieces of media, considering it's relatively small length; especially two screenshots + a video. What do each screeshot provide that the other doesn't and what do both provide that the video doesn't?

Minding that some won't be able to view the video due to their connections, the screenshots show two different views of the gameplay. I could strike the second gameplay image, if you deem it necessary ♔

• The descriptor of the infobox image is "app icon", which seems too short and not descriptive enough. "Solipskier app icon in the iTunes Store" or something like it might better inform readers.

This also hasn't been an issue for me before. It should be fairly straightforward what the image is indicating, so I only added the caption to be sure. To add the name of the app would be redundant, and the icon is the same across all app stores ♔

Notes/References

• I'm unsure about your usage of notes, and feel like the first two should be integrated within the prose. The third note about supported platforms may be a better fit in the infobox after "iOS" than where it currently is, as it is not as relevant in-context where it is located.

I made these notes because I felt they were sufficiently interesting to include in the article but unnecessary for understanding the development ♔

• What makes 148apps.com a reliable source? Please discuss at WT:VG/S for review.

Discussed in Archive 6 and Archive 9. I'll add it to the list ♔

• I'm also not sure you need a "retrieved" date and an "archived" date, especially since they're all the same. I think it makes them unecessarily long.

Maybe, but this is the common practice per {{Cite web}} ♔

• Please wikilink Mikengreg in publisher fields. Same for IndieGames.com.

@Salvidrim!, thanks for the review. I think I've handled the lot—take a look? czar ♔ 03:56, 28 July 2014 (UTC)