Revision as of 15:07, 4 December 2014

Here are a few comments on your page:

Not really sure that Automobile Transportation belongs in the Lead Section. Suggest removal.
History Section: Good Start, would like to see more on the development of the area.
Geography: What about the difference between Hilltop and Greater Hilltop? I like the use of "Geographic Area" in describing the area, but I think you need to have a statement distinguishing the too. Also: what about people locally? How do they refer to it?
Demographics: This information is effectively 15 years old (2000 Census, its almost 2015). Update it.
Neighborhoods: Good Start, would like to see 3-4 sentences about each (like when it was developed, its location/boundaries).

Good Start!

Kenitzer.1 (talk) 15:00, 18 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I really liked all of the illustration, it really makes the article look professional!
The wording of the last sentence of the intro paragraph is a little awkward to me, how can residents meet all their needs in the neighborhood?
The historical section went into a lot of depth, and gives a nice and concise story of the development of the neighborhood.
Really cool that you were able to get the demographic information, might have to steal that idea!
The land use section really puts the "suburban feel" claim made in the intro paragraph into context, I like it!
The bulleted lists at the end are a great way to end the article in my opinion, lots of clickable links made it fun to play around with.

I really like your article, I might steal some of these ideas and incorporate them into mine. I would just look at the intro paragraph and possibly rewording it a little bit. Bright.140osu (talk) 15:03, 4 December 2014 (UTC)bright.140[reply]

Instructor Comments No. 2

Well-written

Needs copy editing.
Break things into paragraphs.
History needs work.

Verifiable with no original research

Needs more citations in history section.

Broad in its coverage

I has necessary detail, develop a list of the neighborhoods

Neutral

Good work here, but copy editing is needed.

Stable

No Comments.

Illustrated

Good work on incorporating photos.

Kenitzer.1 (talk) 15:07, 4 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 21: / Line 21: @@
 I really like your article, I might steal some of these ideas and incorporate them into mine.  I would just look at the intro paragraph and possibly rewording it a little bit.
 [[User:Bright.140osu|Bright.140osu]] ([[User talk:Bright.140osu|talk]]) 15:03, 4 December 2014 (UTC)bright.140
+=Instructor Comments No. 2=
+==Well-written==
+* Needs copy editing.
+* Break things into paragraphs.
+* History needs work.
+==Verifiable with no original research==
+* Needs more citations in history section.
+==Broad in its coverage==
+* I has necessary detail, develop a list of the neighborhoods
+==Neutral==
+* Good work here, but copy editing is needed.
+==Stable==
+* No Comments.
+==Illustrated==
+* Good work on incorporating photos.
+[[User:Kenitzer.1|Kenitzer.1]] ([[User talk:Kenitzer.1|talk]]) 15:07, 4 December 2014 (UTC)