User talk:Fisheriesmgmt: Difference between revisions
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article appear promotional? Thanks in advance. [[User:Nomurashoken|Nomurashoken]] ([[User talk:Nomurashoken|talk]]) 21:33, 21 February 2015 (UTC) |
article appear promotional? Thanks in advance. [[User:Nomurashoken|Nomurashoken]] ([[User talk:Nomurashoken|talk]]) 21:33, 21 February 2015 (UTC) |
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:{{Ping|Nomurashoken}} Hi! I think this article is looking great already, I just had a few concerns about certain phrases that were used, which contributed to an overall tone that sounded uncomfortably like an advertisement. I've already made a few changes to the lead section, which you can see in the edit history. Basically, saying something like "CardCash has been mentioned in ''several notable magazines''" or "[f]rom its ''humble origins''" is essentially superfluous but also gives the article a tone that is more like an advertisement and less like an impartial article. I'd be happy to further review the article and make some changes that could improve this! [[User:Fisheriesmgmt|Fisheriesmgmt]] ([[User talk:Fisheriesmgmt#top|talk]]) 22:04, 21 February 2015 (UTC) |
:{{Ping|Nomurashoken}} Hi! I think this article is looking great already, I just had a few concerns about certain phrases that were used, which contributed to an overall tone that sounded uncomfortably like an advertisement. I've already made a few changes to the lead section, which you can see in the edit history. Basically, saying something like "CardCash has been mentioned in ''several notable magazines''" or "[f]rom its ''humble origins''" is essentially superfluous but also gives the article a tone that is more like an advertisement and less like an impartial article. I'd be happy to further review the article and make some changes that could improve this! [[User:Fisheriesmgmt|Fisheriesmgmt]] ([[User talk:Fisheriesmgmt#top|talk]]) 22:04, 21 February 2015 (UTC) |
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==About [[Anwari (actress)== |
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Revision as of 17:25, 23 February 2015
CardCash improvement
Hi Fisheriesmgmt, Thanks a lot for your intervention. I appreciate your taking a look at this page. Could you give some specific details about the words, expressions, statements that makes the article appear promotional? Thanks in advance. Nomurashoken (talk) 21:33, 21 February 2015 (UTC)
- @Nomurashoken: Hi! I think this article is looking great already, I just had a few concerns about certain phrases that were used, which contributed to an overall tone that sounded uncomfortably like an advertisement. I've already made a few changes to the lead section, which you can see in the edit history. Basically, saying something like "CardCash has been mentioned in several notable magazines" or "[f]rom its humble origins" is essentially superfluous but also gives the article a tone that is more like an advertisement and less like an impartial article. I'd be happy to further review the article and make some changes that could improve this! Fisheriesmgmt (talk) 22:04, 21 February 2015 (UTC)