Talk:Ayoreo: Difference between revisions
→Suggestions: new section |
No edit summary |
||
Line 22: | Line 22: | ||
* Could you make a section describing their traditional religion and the process of evangelization by Christians? |
* Could you make a section describing their traditional religion and the process of evangelization by Christians? |
||
--[[User:Carwil|Carwil]] ([[User talk:Carwil|talk]]) 14:28, 8 April 2015 (UTC) |
--[[User:Carwil|Carwil]] ([[User talk:Carwil|talk]]) 14:28, 8 April 2015 (UTC) |
||
Peer Review: The introduction to the article is very good! I think it does a job of hitting the major points without going to extensively into any one aspect of the topic yet. Under the culture section, I would clarify if the connection is known as Eami or if the territory is. It is a little bit unclear what "known" refers to there. I would also include what time period the records of infanticide were from. Also, when you talk about youth and scholarships, I would use "desire" or "need" instead of "wish". There are maybe a few word choice issues like this, but overall this is a very good article. The way the sections are divided is logical and flows well and I can tell that your research is strong. Good job! |
|||
--[[User:Rolandcharlotte|Rolandcharlotte]] ([[User talk:Rolandcharlotte|talk]]) 15:19, 8 April 2015 (UTC) |
Revision as of 15:19, 8 April 2015
This article has not yet been rated on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Please add the quality rating to the {{WikiProject banner shell}} template instead of this project banner. See WP:PIQA for details.
Please add the quality rating to the {{WikiProject banner shell}} template instead of this project banner. See WP:PIQA for details.
Please add the quality rating to the {{WikiProject banner shell}} template instead of this project banner. See WP:PIQA for details.
Please add the quality rating to the {{WikiProject banner shell}} template instead of this project banner. See WP:PIQA for details.
|
Peer Review
Hey, I'm peer-reviewing this article. Overall it's really good, there are just two things I noticed:
- It says infanticide has been practiced "for various reasons." I feel like that deserves a little more detail.
- When a lot of organizations are listed in Spanish, it might be helpful to also give English translations.
But, like I said, it's overall very well-done. ModestMoussorgsky (talk) 19:29, 5 April 2015 (UTC)
Suggestions
This is a solidly organized article, and a good place for someone to find an introduction to the Ayoreo people. Here are some suggestions for improvement and expansion.
- Some of the names listed under Name and language are words for the entire people and some are names of subgroups within them. See [1]. Add the sentence about seven clans into its own section listing them.
- The information on land loss is fascinating, but could probably be placed into a land and territory section. On the Bolivian side, the Ayoreo have four titled Native Community Lands, which are listed in this chart: [2] (Don't be intimidated by the minimal Spanish, and use translate.google.com if you need to.) Here's the citation: Fundación Tierra (2011-06). Territorios Indígena Originario Campesinos en Bolivia: Entre la Loma Santa y la Pachamama. La Paz: Fundación Tierra.
{{cite book}}
: Check date values in:|date=
(help) - Who are the leaders of CANOB and UNAP?
- Is there an Ayoreo education system?
- Could you make a section describing their traditional religion and the process of evangelization by Christians?
--Carwil (talk) 14:28, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
Peer Review: The introduction to the article is very good! I think it does a job of hitting the major points without going to extensively into any one aspect of the topic yet. Under the culture section, I would clarify if the connection is known as Eami or if the territory is. It is a little bit unclear what "known" refers to there. I would also include what time period the records of infanticide were from. Also, when you talk about youth and scholarships, I would use "desire" or "need" instead of "wish". There are maybe a few word choice issues like this, but overall this is a very good article. The way the sections are divided is logical and flows well and I can tell that your research is strong. Good job! --Rolandcharlotte (talk) 15:19, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
- All unassessed articles
- Start-Class South America articles
- Low-importance South America articles
- Start-Class Bolivia articles
- Mid-importance Bolivia articles
- WikiProject Bolivia articles
- Start-Class Paraguay articles
- Mid-importance Paraguay articles
- WikiProject Paraguay articles
- WikiProject South America articles
- Start-Class Indigenous peoples of the Americas articles
- Mid-importance Indigenous peoples of the Americas articles
- Indigenous peoples of the Americas articles