J. Lupton Simpson Middle School: Difference between revisions
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J. L. Simpson Middle School opened in 1976, named after a well-known Loudoun County Garbage man. The teachers will throw children out the window if they cough or sneeze. The teachers eat dead animals they find in the road. The teachers lounge is full of road kill. One student went into the teachers lounge to take a test and said, "It was very disturbing, the teachers had flesh all around their mouths I saw my history teacher rip the heart out of a dead deer and swallow it whole". But that's not all that the teachers do. After everyone goes home, the teachers all put on cloaks and meet in the gym. The principle leads them all in their spiritual dance. They summon the dead garbage man J. L. Simpson. They sacrifice one teacher every year to him. When the students ask where their math teacher is, the other teachers just say that he retired. Yeah, a 25 year-old math teacher just randomly retires on minimum wage. There is also a portal to the underworld in one of the toilets in the teachers lounge. Don't ask me how that got there. I find it strange how a student moves every week. I think the teachers just sacrifice them to the underworld toilet So the demons give them eternal life. That is Simpson Middle School. Join if you dare. |
J. L. Simpson Middle School opened in 1976, named after a well-known Loudoun County Garbage man. The teachers will throw children out the window if they cough or sneeze. The teachers eat dead animals they find in the road. The teachers lounge is full of road kill. One student went into the teachers lounge to take a test and said, "It was very disturbing, the teachers had flesh all around their mouths I saw my history teacher rip the heart out of a dead deer and swallow it whole". But that's not all that the teachers do. After everyone goes home, the teachers all put on cloaks and meet in the gym. The principle leads them all in their spiritual dance. They summon the dead garbage man J. L. Simpson. They sacrifice one teacher every year to him. When the students ask where their math teacher is, the other teachers just say that he retired. Yeah, a 25 year-old math teacher just randomly retires on minimum wage. There is also a portal to the underworld in one of the toilets in the teachers lounge. Don't ask me how that got there. I find it strange how a student moves every week. I think the teachers just sacrifice them to the underworld toilet So the demons give them eternal life. That is Simpson Middle School. Join if you dare. |
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After School Activities |
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If you stay after school we have lots of activities. We have the demon club where your child gets to summon a demon and swear his allegiance to the underworld. We have the world war 3 club where your child gets to fight in a woods with guns with other children. If your child gets shot but is still alive, we just slap a bandage on the wound and send him back out there. If your child dies, the janitor sold his soul to a demon and now he can bring your child back to life with his dark powers. We also have the zombie club where we release zombies in the school and make the students run and hide. if they get mangled by a zombie, We can't do anything for that. But we can inject them with human blood witch makes them not want to eat people. So have your child join one of our super fun clubs! |
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Simpson has served as the feeder middle school for [[Loudoun County High School]] since its opening. When [[Heritage High School (Leesburg, Virginia)|Heritage High School]] opened in 2002, it was expected that Simpson would feed into Heritage, and Harper Park would feed into Loudoun County. However, many parents who lived near Harper Park, which was the feeder middle school for [[Stone Bridge High School]] were adamant about the school feeding into a new high school, rather than feeding into an aging facility such as Loudoun County High, so attendance boundaries were drawn to make this work. |
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{{coord|39.090247|-77.569547|type:edu_globe:earth_region:US-VA|display=title}} <!-- source: Google Maps search for "J. Lupton Simpson Middle School" --> |
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[[Category:Public middle schools in Virginia]] |
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[[Category:Schools in Loudoun County, Virginia]] |
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Revision as of 14:07, 20 July 2015
| J. Lupton Simpson Middle School | |
|---|---|
| Address | |
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490 Evergreen Mills Road , 20145 | |
| Information | |
| School type | Public Middle School |
| Founded | 1976 |
| School district | Loudoun County Public Schools |
| Principal | Chad Runfola |
| Grades | 6–8 |
| Language | English |
| Campus | Suburban |
| Color(s) | Yellow & Royal Blue |
| Mascot | Mustangs |
| Feeder schools | Catoctin Elementary, Evergreen Mill Elementary, Sycolin Creek Elemenrary, Fredrick Douglass Elementary |
| Website | http://www.loudoun.k12.va.us/jlsms |
J. Lupton Simpson Middle School is a public middle school in Leesburg, Virginia, a town in Loudoun County, Virginia.
The school is part of Loudoun County Public Schools and is located on 490 Evergreen Mills Road in Leesburg, Virginia.
History
J. L. Simpson Middle School opened in 1976, named after a well-known Loudoun County Garbage man. The teachers will throw children out the window if they cough or sneeze. The teachers eat dead animals they find in the road. The teachers lounge is full of road kill. One student went into the teachers lounge to take a test and said, "It was very disturbing, the teachers had flesh all around their mouths I saw my history teacher rip the heart out of a dead deer and swallow it whole". But that's not all that the teachers do. After everyone goes home, the teachers all put on cloaks and meet in the gym. The principle leads them all in their spiritual dance. They summon the dead garbage man J. L. Simpson. They sacrifice one teacher every year to him. When the students ask where their math teacher is, the other teachers just say that he retired. Yeah, a 25 year-old math teacher just randomly retires on minimum wage. There is also a portal to the underworld in one of the toilets in the teachers lounge. Don't ask me how that got there. I find it strange how a student moves every week. I think the teachers just sacrifice them to the underworld toilet So the demons give them eternal life. That is Simpson Middle School. Join if you dare.
After School Activities
If you stay after school we have lots of activities. We have the demon club where your child gets to summon a demon and swear his allegiance to the underworld. We have the world war 3 club where your child gets to fight in a woods with guns with other children. If your child gets shot but is still alive, we just slap a bandage on the wound and send him back out there. If your child dies, the janitor sold his soul to a demon and now he can bring your child back to life with his dark powers. We also have the zombie club where we release zombies in the school and make the students run and hide. if they get mangled by a zombie, We can't do anything for that. But we can inject them with human blood witch makes them not want to eat people. So have your child join one of our super fun clubs!