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I think it would benefit the fluidity of the article to go through and double check and make sure the correct verb tense is used.--[[Special:Contributions/130.49.43.19|130.49.43.19]] ([[User talk:130.49.43.19|talk]]) 22:18, 15 November 2015 (UTC)
I think it would benefit the fluidity of the article to go through and double check and make sure the correct verb tense is used.--[[Special:Contributions/130.49.43.19|130.49.43.19]] ([[User talk:130.49.43.19|talk]]) 22:18, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

== Relatedness ==

Some sentences contained clauses that didn't make sense together. I think it would benefit the cohesiveness of the article to rake through all sentences containing more than one clause to make sure there positioning is purposeful and decipherable.

I think the following sentences were a little confusing, either due to the wording or the positioning of ideas.
"Maggenti began thinking about the script with the image of a tomboy, who she later realized was based on her first girlfriend."
"Maggenti's involvement writing for the crime series "Without a Trace" was a transition due to the fact that she was working alongside others instead of alone; as she had been doing for ten years."
"While she did enjoy being in the company of "all these smart people" she adds that from a lifestyle point of view, she didn't like "the idea that we had to work Monday through Friday every day in an office for 11 straight months"."

--[[Special:Contributions/2620:102:401F:4000:D:E25A:A5D8:3D8B|2620:102:401F:4000:D:E25A:A5D8:3D8B]] ([[User talk:2620:102:401F:4000:D:E25A:A5D8:3D8B|talk]]) 22:29, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

Revision as of 22:29, 15 November 2015

Verb Tense Misuse

It seems like there are some issues regarding tense in the article, for example in the sentence "She has been the script editor and has written many episodes of the American television series, Without a Trace (2003)" wouldn't it make more sense to say "she was" as opposed to "she has been" since her work on Without a Trace (2003) takes place exclusively in the past (Without a Trace was cancelled in 2009).

I think it would benefit the fluidity of the article to go through and double check and make sure the correct verb tense is used.--130.49.43.19 (talk) 22:18, 15 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Relatedness

Some sentences contained clauses that didn't make sense together. I think it would benefit the cohesiveness of the article to rake through all sentences containing more than one clause to make sure there positioning is purposeful and decipherable.

I think the following sentences were a little confusing, either due to the wording or the positioning of ideas. "Maggenti began thinking about the script with the image of a tomboy, who she later realized was based on her first girlfriend." "Maggenti's involvement writing for the crime series "Without a Trace" was a transition due to the fact that she was working alongside others instead of alone; as she had been doing for ten years." "While she did enjoy being in the company of "all these smart people" she adds that from a lifestyle point of view, she didn't like "the idea that we had to work Monday through Friday every day in an office for 11 straight months"."

--2620:102:401F:4000:D:E25A:A5D8:3D8B (talk) 22:29, 15 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]