Ned Flanders

Nedward "Ned" Flanders (c.1939? - Present) is a fictional character on The Simpsons, voiced by Harry Shearer. Ned lives next door to the Simpsons with his family and is generally a pillar of the Springfield community.

He is a devout Christian, and is often used to satirize Christian fundamentalism, as well as the cloying "niceness" of doggedly upbeat born-again evangelicals. (Homer Simpson once said that Ned is "even holier than Jesus".)

Ned Flanders was named after Northeast Flanders St. in Portland, Oregon, the hometown of Simpsons creator Matt Groening. (The street sign, NE Flanders St., is often defaced to read NED Flanders St.)

Ned has the odd habit of attaching "diddly", "doodly" and other nonsense phrases to his sentences -- "Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor-ino", for example. (This is the result of sublimated anger, which has no other outlet. See below.)

Despite an outward appearance of exceeding meekness, Ned hides an exceptionally well-built physique under that fetching pink-shirt and green-sweater combination.

Ned's true age cannot be determined. Although he explicitly stated that he was 60, and thus a senior citizen, in the season 10 episode Viva Ned Flanders (which aired in 1999, so he may have been born in 1939), this came two years after conflicting revelations in the season 8 episode Hurricane Neddy. That episode depicted, through flashbacks, Ned's childhood in the mid-1950s; while his age isn't given in the flashback, he can't be more than 10, which places him firmly in his late 40s or early 50s. However, in Much Apu About Nothing, he alleged that he has lived on Evergreen Terrace for over forty years, which might support his claim of being in his sixties (his freaky beatnik parents would probably not have chosen to live in so "square" a location, and thus he must have moved there sometime after coming of age). His wireframe spectacles, worn at all times, might also be a sign of his age.

He claims his deceptively youthful appearance is due to his conformity to the "three-c's: clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin Church!" (Well, that, and "resisting all major urges".)

Homer Simpson generally loathes Ned (aside from a short stint as his best friend) because Ned's family, job, health and self-discipline are of such higher quality than he could ever hope to attain himself. Marge Simpson's enduring fondness for him does not help the situation, either. (Homer has called Ned "a big, four-eyed lame-o" who wears "the same stupid sweater every day". He also tells him to "shut his stupid face" on a regular basis, and has even prayed for his ruin and death -- "I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead.")

He is the quintessential neighbour Jones with whom one can never quite keep up.

Ned is left-handed, and runs a successful (after a rocky start, anyhow) specialty store for other left-handed people, The Leftorium.

Biography

Ned was raised in New York City by two nihilistic beatniks (his father looked precisely like the adult Ned, but with a hip beret and goatee).

Their refusal to discipline Ned and their all-around terrible parenting skills ("we've tried nothin', and we're all out of ideas!") made him a childhood terror. He was eventually consigned to an experimental eight-month spanking therapy program -- the University of Minnesota Spankological Protocol -- which taught him to entirely repress any and all feelings of anger. This resulted in Ned bearing a lifelong hatred of his parents, one of only two things that he hates (the other being the post office, whose long queues, surly employees, and confusing machines annoy him).

The conditioning of the protocol also produced his trademark speech pattern, as a side-effect (see above).

His utterly repressed anger eventually erupted; following the destruction of his house by a hurricane, Ned suffered a crisis of faith and a very public nervous breakdown. For a time, he had himself committed at Calmwood, Springfield's psychiatric hospital. While institutionalized, Ned wore a straight-jacket and read the newspaper with his feet. Upon his release, he expressed his desire never to squelch his true feelings again, much to the jubilation of his friends. (His desire to run his enemies down with his car led to slightly less jubilation).

Ned is a graduate of Oral Roberts University (Homer once stole his degree and changed Ned's name to his own, thus proving himself to be "S-M-R-T"), where he apparently belonged to a fraternity that supported cross-dressing (though perhaps it only did so as part of a hazing ritual). He may also have applied to Arizona State University, as he has a high regard for the entry requirements there.

At some point before or after college, Ned met and married the equally meek and religious Maude. They had two children together, the ridiculously sheltered and naïve Rod and Todd.

Ned has become a widower, following the freak t-shirt cannon accident that claimed Maude's life.

Since Maude's death, Ned has been connected romantically with the beautiful Christian-rock singer, Rachel Jordan (voiced by Shawn Colvin), and a movie star, Sara Sloane (voiced by Marisa Tomei).

Ned is the owner of the house next to the Simpson's. The address has been given as both 740 Evergreen Terrace and 738 Evergreen Terrace. The house is a two-story detached house with a connected garage. (In The Simpson's Guide to Springfield, the Flanders homestead is described as "the only four-star hotel in Springfield".)

The house is pinkish-purple, with red window frames and a blue-orange canopy above the front-door. The front-door bell rings "Kumbaya" or "Onward Christian Soldiers". All of the rooms include religious imagery (Shroud of Turin towels, a Lot's Wife salt-shaker) and photographs of the late Maude Flanders. The house is well furnished with expensive furniture, which Ned claims he bought cheaply because it was once "evidence from a murder trial".

Ned, Maude, Rod and Todd all sleep upstairs. Ned and Maude shared a bedroom; Rod and Todd still do. There is also at least one spare bedroom where Bart Simpson slept when he was younger, and which Ned later rented out to students (at least two of whom turned out to be internet porn stars).

The backyard of the house includes a garden, patio and a barbeque (the enormous 'Propane Elaine') and is often used for Ned's various get-togethers. It is separated from the Simpson's yard by a tall, brown fence. (Occasionally, a large, square, recessed bomb shelter is present in the backyard, as well. It seems to come and go as needed, and was once destroyed by the remnants of a comet.)

Ned's home phone number is 636-555-8904.

Ned has installed a window-mounted air-conditioning unit (which Homer, again, once stole). He has also apparently installed a "doggie-door" (Bart once shoved the infant Lisa through it); however, the only Flanders pets that have been mentioned are a rabbit ('Mr. Bunny', now deceased) and a woodpecker.

For a time, after Principal Seymour Skinner was fired, and since he was the head of the local P.T.A., Ned Flanders became principal of Springfield Elementary School. Ned's thorough lack of administrative skill and experience caused the already shaky establishment to fall into complete chaos. Ned's rather lax approach toward disciplining students -- he put the whole place on the honor system and abolished traditional, deterring punishments for infractions -- eventually forced Bart to form a scheme to get Skinner re-instated. (There was no real challenge or sense of fun in pulling pranks under Ned's nose; he simply didn't seem to notice).

Ned was fired as principal after Superintendent Chalmers heard him making a prayer over the school intercom -- prayer being strictly prohibited in the American public school system -- just as Bart intended.

Both Ned and his family rarely if ever refer to his moustache as such, preferring nicknames such as "Nose Neighbor", "Mr. Tickles", "The Soup Strainer", "The Pushbroom", "Dr. Fuzzenstein", etc. He once shaved it off, after being pushed by Homer, but then apparently chose to grow it back (despite the fact that the svelte Ned was hired to appear in a commercial).

When Ned gets gum stuck in his moustache, he uses a piece of ice to freeze it, and then shatters it with a hammer.

His extreme prudishness has made him very averse to saying the word sex aloud, even when there are no children in sight -- he either spells it out or sheepishly calls it "doodily". Ned also uses the word doodle or shrinky-dink when referring to a penis.

He was once very upset by the experience of bumping the hip of another young man during a dance session -- this despite the fact that he says he doesn't "drink or dance or swear", in line with the old joke. (He did once claim to enjoy "male sports", like ballroom dancing, however; in another episode, he mentioned learning to dance the tango as a possible surprise for Maude, implying that she was already familiar with it. Unusually, he didn't regard the tango as too sultry, despite the fact that it has been described on the show as making "sex look like church".)

He has been kissed by at least one man -- none other than Homer Simpson, oddly enough.

Ned appears to be slightly taller than Homer, who is 6'0", which would make Ned somewhere between 6'0" and 6'2".

He was one of the first characters outside of the immediate Simpson family to appear on the show, and his ownership of a vast and sparkling-new winnebago (the Land Behemoth) sparked the action of the very first regular episode. (The Behemoth, or its sucessor, also became a 'Trojan Horse' of sorts during the Springfieldians quest to reclaim their Lemon Tree from a Shelbyville car-impound lot.)

Flanders family

Main article: Flanders family

Aside from Ned himself, all of the Flanders' names rhyme with 'God'. It is possible that this further attracted Ned to Maude (assuming that he was already attracted to her belief system, which he so obviously shared, or at least her voluptuous figure), and that this is the reason why Rod and Todd's names rhyme with both.

His mother's name was revealed to be Mona in an early episode (strangely enough, this is also the name of Homer's mother).

Ned's mother presumably appears in a flashback, as "Grandma Flanders". By the time of her appearance, she was entirely senile and terrified the young Bart Simpson, who was living with the Flanders' temporarily during the birth of Lisa Simpson. It is also possible, however, that this was Ned's own grandmother, rather than the grandmother of his children. (Her exclamation "Hello, Joe!" is entirely in keeping with the cutesy rhyming ways of the Flanders family. No Joseph Flanders has ever been mentioned.)

Ned told Homer that he and his family were about to go and visit "Grandma" in another episode; as only a few years have passed since the birth of Lisa, it is possible that this still refers to the same person -- she likely required some sort of palliative care, or more medical assistance than the Flanders' could provide at home, and may have been living in a nursing facility. The children were pleased at the prospect of visiting her, until Ned told them that he had been lying in order to make Homer leave. ("Lies make baby Jesus cry", was Rod's response.)

Ned was once married for a short time, bigamously, to a Las Vegas waitress named Ginger. (This occurred while he was in a drunken stupor, after having been dragged to Nevada by Homer). Ginger managed to track Ned down (Homer's Vegas "wife" did the same) in Springfield; he did his best to reduce Ginger's "peppermint-ness", but could not convince her to embrace his Christian lifestyle. (In fact, Ned's goody-goody ways drove her crazy and she fled.)

Ned has held at least one family reunion at the ol' Flanderosa, attended by such diverse members of the Flanders flock as José Flanders ("Buenos ding-dong-diddly-dias, señor!") and Lord Thistlewick Flanders ("Charmed...eh, a-googily...moogily.").

There was a relative of Ned's who served in World War II. He was a superior officer to Sgt. Abe Simpson. (When Abe threatened to report Pvt. Burns to Flanders, Abe indicated that Flanders' rank was 'Commander'. However, this is not a rank in the United States Army. The name "Commander Flanders" was most likely used as a cute almost-rhyme and throwaway joke, but may also simply indicate that Flanders was the commanding officer of Springfield's Flying Hellfish battalion).

Ned apparently had a relative who lived in colonial Springfield. This founding Flanders was the Town Crier.

Ned has at least one sibling, a sister who lives in Capital City, as mentioned in the episode When Flanders Failed.

Flanders once met, in Canada, a man very similar to himself in appearance and speech. After exchanging several doodlys and diddleys, Ned was offered a marijuana cigarette by the CanadiaNed, to which he replied, "They always told me Satan would be attractive." It is unknown if this man was a long-lost Flanders family member, or simply Ned's doppelgänger.

The Leftorium

File:Leftorium.jpg

Ned once decided to act upon his growing displeasure with his career in pharmaceuticals and quit his job, throwing his tie onto his barbeque as a symbol of his new freedom. He then opened a store in the Springfield mall called The Leftorium.

Ned specializes in selling products for left-handed people: everything from left-handed can openers to an entirely left-handed car, of which only three were ever made.

The Leftorium first appeared on the second floor of the Springfield Mall, at the top of an escalator, but in the episode Last Tap Dance in Springfield it was shown to be on the first floor.

The Leftorium faces competition from Leftopolis and Left-Mart.

Many of the Leftorium's products are merely labeled as 'left-handed', such as coffee mugs and pens.

A surprisingly large proportion of Springfield's citizens are also left-handed, including Mr. Burns, Moe Szyslak and the I.R.S./Bill-Collector Guy. This assures Ned of a comfortable income.

Beliefs

Though firmly religious, Ned can be quite timid and something of a pushover. He is also often insecure. He is obsessed with following the Bible as literally as possible ("even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff") and is easily shocked when someone challenges him on any point of dogma. This has led to his frequent calls to Reverend Lovejoy ("I... I think I'm coveting my own wife!") who has become increasingly frustrated with Flanders ("Ned...have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.") Lovejoy has been driven into severe depression by the constant badgering and now encourages his old English sheepdog to defecate on Ned's lawn in order to passive-aggressively avenge himself.

Ned's sons have been raised in an unbelieveably strict climate of Christian morality, to which they seem to conform almost instinctively. In one episode, it is revealed that they "don't believe in flu shots", much as their father considers insurance to be a "form of gambling" and dice games to be "wicked" (apparently, games for Nintendo systems like Super Noah's Ark and Bible Blaster do not share in this evil). Rod and Todd go to bed several hours before sunset. They are not allowed to consume sugar (aside from one memorable incident involving pixie-sticks); rather, they delight in nachos "Flanders-style" ("That's cucumbers and cottage cheese!") and wintergreen "ice milk".

Most of the entertainment enjoyed by the family involves religion in some way. For instance, the family uses at least five different versions of the Bible to play "Bombardment...of Bible Questions!" ("The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb!?"), and are part of a competitive bowling team called the Holy Rollers (their uniform consisting of a Franciscan Friar's robes). Ned seems to sense that he cannot completely shield his family from the vagaries of popular culture, but does his best to mitigate the effects; one of his children's stories concludes: "...and Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to Hell, for practicing witchcraft." Also, though they have satellite TV, nearly all of the 230 channels are blocked out -- likely for the best, as one episode of Itchy & Scratchy was enough to more or less permanently scar Rod and Todd. (Maude once crusaded against 'violent cartoons', as well, so blocking out the channels may have been her idea). Todd used to watch Davey and Goliath, but, finding the idea of talking dogs to be blasphemous, he has since stopped. Ned and Maude did have a subscription to Newsweek magazine, however, which may have been the means by which they followed outside goings-on.

Ned can sometimes fight for what he believes in, especially when faced with an equally zealous or entirely apathetic opponent. For example, when Homer and Bart became Roman Catholic, after having shaken a Catholic priest's hand, Ned reminded himself to get his hand "re-blessed". In the same episode, when Bart told him he wanted to convert to Judaism, Ned took out a bottle of chloroform in order to dissuade him. (Likewise, when Lisa converted to Buddhism, he ordered Rod and Todd into the bomb shelter, telling them that they might never return to the surface.) He once attempted to forcibly baptize the Simpson children (using his portable baptizin' kit) after finding out that they had never undergone the ritual (and after fainting several times).

His antipathy toward Hinduism has also been lightly portrayed -- he once compared worshipping Shiva to asking for help from Hawkman.

In an episode in which Homer has a crayon removed from his brain and thereby becomes super-intelligent, Homer states "Hey, Flanders, I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God". He hands Ned a piece of paper with the proof. Skeptical, Ned says "We'll just see about that." Ned reads the paper, his face falling. "Nope, it's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out." Ned then uses a lighter to burn the proof, while, in the background, Homer puts more copies of his formula on the windshields of nearby cars.

It should be noted that, despite his intolerance towards other religions and beliefs, he is still honest and sincere in carrying out the Christian doctrines of charity, kindness and compassion. He spends every Wednesday working at the Springfield homeless shelter and soup kitchen (the Helter Shelter), and reads to sick children at the hospital (where he had unknowingly met Moe: "If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt."). He is rigorously honest and upright, even going so far as to spend an entire day tracking down a Leftorium customer in order to give him the extra change that he had previously failed to hand over. (In a similar vein, after winning football tickets by answering a radio trivia question, he immediately asked for the cash value so he could report this on his income taxes). He also means to be a good neighbor to the Simpsons, regularly asking about their lives and offering his assistance -- and then suffering the consequences often due to those with good intentions.

Ned is very selfless and often brave (though angry apes can faze him), once risking his life to save Homer from a house-fire, and even promising to donate one of his kidneys and lungs to whoever asks for them ("First come, first served", he says).

When a comet threatened to destroy the city, he attempted to save every single Springfieldian, and even decided to leave his own bomb shelter -- Homer having told him he would useless after the apocalypse -- instead of allowing someone else to die in his place. (It is interesting that the rest survived only because they decided to follow Ned's brave example, or felt guilty about letting him sacrifice himself: if they had stayed inside, the shelter would have collapsed on them).

Ned has fed, bathed and clothed at least one indigent man -- Homer's half-brother Herb, before he created his second world-class business. (It is a telling fact that both Rod and Todd wanted to anoint the sores on Herb's feet).

So, despite his obsession with the rules and regulations of Christianity, Ned Flanders is still a basically good-natured and kind-hearted man who tries to follow the teachings of Jesus; that this often makes him the target of those less scrupulous than he seems merely to be a badge of honour for him.

His dogged friendship can inspire the loyalty of others; when his Leftorium seemed sure to go bankrupt shortly after it opened, Homer came to find that many people in Springfield love Ned ("Ned Flanders is in trouble!?" shouted a man, learning of the predicament and leaping off the couch), and he was thus able to set the stage for a Frank Capra-esque George Bailey-bailout.

Flanders' religious denomination (along with that of Reverend Lovejoy and most other Springfieldians) has long been a matter of much speculation among fans. In The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star, this is briefly mentioned by Reverend Lovejoy when stating that they will bring Bart and Homer back to the "one true faith": The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism.

His religious fervour has been mocked most openly in the many Halloween episodes, outside of regular continuity. He has: become "the unquestioned Lord and Master of the world", instituting Orwellian "Re-Neducation" facilities for those who have impure thoughts, complete with frontal lobotomies for hardcases; proclaimed his preference for "wanton carnality" as an early Pilgrim immigrant to the New World, only to be vetoed by Maude; been transformed into a werewolf; been murdered by both Homer Simpson (who used the rise of a zombie horde as an excuse for killing him -- Homer didn't care if Ned was actually zombie or not) and an evil bus-gremlin which he adopted. He has also been seen participating in the "Walk for the Cure of Homosexuality".

Ned has represented both the Devil and God -- in a Halloween episode and in a regular episode, respectively. In the Treehouse of Horror IV special, Ned played the Prince of Darkness in the opening segment "The Devil & Homer Simpson" (explaining that "it's always the person you least expect"). The Ned-Satan offered Homer a donut in return for his eternal soul, but was thwarted in a court of law when it was revealed that Homer had previously granted his soul to Marge when they got married. Later in the series, when Marge fantasized about being Eve opposite Homer as Adam, Marge/Eve imagined Ned as representing God (God was never clearly seen, but His voice was certainly that of Ned, and God's arm was clothed in Ned's classic green sweater).

Ned has also represented Priam, King of Troy.

Ned once claimed not to have airbag in his car, because "the church opposes it for some reason". This was contradicted in the episode Much Apu About Nothing when his car (a Geo) deployed an airbag after swerving to avoid a wayward bear.

Hobbies and interests

As a boy, Ned was fond of the radio and comic-book character Dick Tracy, and his Rogue's Gallery -- particularly Pruneface.

Ned maintains a secret reverence for The Beatles, admitting to Homer: "Of course I was into the Beatles! They were bigger than Jesus!" (referencing John Lennon's controversial remarks in 1966 -- he actually said that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus"). Ned has collected many Beatles-related items, including vintage records, novelty soda cans, bobble-heads, the identical suits the band wore during their Ed Sullivan Show appearance and a cardboard yellow submarine.

His position on the (oddly similar) career of The B-Sharps is unknown.

He also likes David Crosby (calling him a "troubled troubadour"). The Moody Blues once attempted to kill him.

He knows all the words to Doris Day's "Que Será, Será".

While hallucinating in the episode "D'oh-in' in the Wind", after accidentally imbibing Homer's peyote-laced Snapple-esque beverage, Ned encountered the dancing bears and skeletons which symbolize The Grateful Dead, the marching, nightmarish hammers that appeared in Pink Floyd's The Wall, and John Pasche's Rolling Stones Tongue and Lips -- a trinity of Rock n' Roll-related things that terrify him.

Ned collects "Humble" figurines, and once even lived for a short time in Humbleton, Pennsylvania, where they are made.

Ned can play a mean game of pool. He also seems to enjoy hosting guests, barbecuing and serving alcohol (though apparently not drinking it -- as mentioned above, he has called himself a teetotaler). His basement "rumpus room" contains a well-stocked bar and a large snooker table. He is an excellent bartender, proud of his ability to pour a perfect beer (this fails him when he is insulted, though he is too good a host to refuse a drink to a guest, even a thoroughly unwelcome one), and he can produce some complicated mixes ("It has three shots of rum, a jigger of bourbon, and just a little daberilla of creme de cassis for flavor.")

His bowling team was largely undefeated, possibly due to some divine influence -- or, perhaps, the fact that, despite being left-handed, Ned bowls spectacularly with his right hand.

Ned has supported Todd in his youthful miniature golf career, and has shown great pride in his son's skill with a violin. He also coached Rod and Todd's football team (their uniform numbers were 6 and 66, respectively), before handing control over to the more belligerent (and intensely annoying) Homer Simpson.

Ned is a Junior Camper Leader, and has organized several events in that capacity, including the popular "Sponge Bathe the Old Folks Day".

Though he himself survived (as did Homer, Bart and Todd), many of those who attended his Junior Camper Father-Son Rafting Trip have never been seen again.

Ned seems to know Ernest Borgnine well enough to request his attendance as a celebrity "fill-in" father at Junior Camper events (though this may merely indicate his influence in the organization).

Ned has some knowledge of survival techniques (including water- and food-rationing) and he can make a perfectly lovely bird-feeder using only a pine-cone and a smidgen of peanut butter.

Ned is a strong advocate of knife-safety ("that's a Neddy No-No!") and axe safety ("it's time to put you away...") He also believes in using plenty of sun-screen when outdoors for extended periods (he has been spotted with liberal amounts of zinc on his "sniffer").

Ned despises Red-Hot candies, but only because of the cartoon devil on the box. He prefers peanut butter cups, with Yoo-Hoo and Slice to drink -- he served the same to the students of Springfield Elementary. He also promised to put the "stew" back in "student", and has claimed to keep strictly kosher, "just to be on the safe side". (When he briefly opened up his doomed amusement park, his "Noah's Ark...of Candies" did not contain two of every flavor -- they were all plain.)

He favours heads of lettuce from Schuman Farms.

Ned also likes to snack on plain white bread ("with a glass of water on the side for dippin'").

Ned has a realistic view of the meat industry, but this does not stop him from enjoying a fine steak: "Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middlemen who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys over at the slaughterhouse."

Ned is a vocal apple cider enthusiast. (He holds a season's pass to the Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill, which pays for itself after sixteen visits: "if its clear and yellah, you've got juice there, fella; if it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town!")

He has been seen jogging, in full paraphenalia (including wrist-weights and very expensive, personalized "Assassin" shoes). Sometimes, he goes on (dangerous) "fog runs" around midnight.

Ned is apparently involved in the environmentalism movement, as he once visited Montgomery Burns, encouraging him to get involved in recycling. (Ned was fortunate to be wearing his Assassins at the time, since Mr. Burns released "the hounds" on him.)

He once joined a motorcycle gang called the "Hell's Satans" (under some duress, admittedly). To his eternal credit, he tried to veto another (early favourite) name for the group: "The Christ Punchers".

He acts in community theatre, and may have a soft spot for the works of Tennessee Williams. (He has portrayed both Stanley Kowalski and Blanche DuBois in various versions of A Streetcar Named Desire: "That's what you get when you go to an all-boys school.")

He also holds a position on several community grass-roots groups, the "Citizens' Committee on Moral Hygiene" and the "Neighborhood Association" among them. (As mentioned above, he is also the head of the local Parent-Teacher Association).

He once converted Stan Taylor, quarterback of the Springfield Atoms football team. ("I used to party all night and sleep with lingerie models until Ned and his bible group showed me that I could have more.")

He has been seen voting in a municipal election, and presumably voted for Sideshow Bob, a Republican Party candidate. (To be fair, so did just about everyone else, living and dead, in Springfield).

Ned watches Fox News, though perhaps only for the "weather skanks" (whom he refers to as "hot").

Ned always files his taxes on the first possible day.

He may or may not get "hepped up on goofballs" from time to time. (Church paritioners have witnessed the supposed after-effects of a Neddy goofball binge.)

He enjoys celebrating St. Valentine's Day, and was seen serenading Maude in a heart outfit. (He is able to play the guitar, though poorly).

He answers calls for the "Marital Stress Hotline", much to Homer's chagrin, and is apparently on the short list of parents willing to take in several foster children at once.

He was part of a moral crusade attempting to shut down the local burlesque house, but apparently remains unaware of the local bordello (possibly called "The Sex Cauldron").

He is a supporter of the Jebediah Springfield legend, acting as a merchandise vendor during one town parade in Jebediah's honour and as town crier (for a moment or two, anyhow) during another. The hat and bell of the town crier are, apparently, family heirlooms -- as mentioned above, it is possible that they once belonged to Commander Flanders, as well as an earlier, colonial-era Flanders.

Due to his religiosity, it is unlikely that he is a member, or knows of the existence, of The Stonecutter's Brotherhood.

Ned was among the only Springfieldians to avoid being ensnared by the Movementarian cult (even Reverend Lovejoy can not entirely claim to have done so) and participated in the deprogramming of several cult members. However, he was fooled by an advertising stunt involving an archaeologically-excavated angel skeleton.

All of the Flanders' have evinced an unnatural fascination with "The Jealous Jockey" murders, most especially Ned. (He was actually quite happy to find out that he had bought the house in which they took place; until, that is, it was destroyed in a spectacular car crash.)

He once had a nightmare, in which he stood in for Charles Whitman, the University of Texas tower-sniper.

He has always wanted to own a home with purple drapes.

More recently, Ned began an internet company called Flancrest Enterprises (which deals in religious hook-rugs) and founded a Bible-themed amusement park called Praiseland, in honour of his late wife. (That he would go to such lengths to fulfill her last wish is unsurprising, as Ned had previously exerted himself a great deal in order to avoid disappointing Maude -- after accidentally killing Maude's prized ficus plant, he attempted to bury and secretly replace it rather than explain the situation).

He also had a short career as a religious-film director in the past season -- The Passion of Cain and Abel (the title characters were played by Rod and Todd; Ned played Adam) was a gory homage to Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ'.

He enjoys Ziggy comics, little baby ducks and Sweatin' to the Oldies (but only Volumes I, II and IV).

He wears flip-flops while gardening, and doesn't like to run in them.

He gets some sort of perverse pleasure out of scratching mosquito bites, listening to the angelic hum of fluorescent lightbulbs, and inhaling the chemical smell of typewriter ink.

He can fix a broken septic system.

His favourite comedian is Bob Saget (though he once, mistakenly, went to see Chris Rock -- he thought the sign indicated a 'Christian Rock' concert, and was truly shocked by the content of the performance).

He disliked Peter Marshall's take on Othello.

He owns at least one shotgun and plenty of ammunition, but seems to keep these things in his backyard bomb shelter.

He can scream like a frightened school-girl who is in the midst of being stabbed to death.

Presumably, Ned spends a good deal of his free time reading the Bible: he once expressed displeasure with Maude for underlining passages in his copy (this drove them into marriage counselling; "Lucky they don't keep guns in the house!"), but he still remains a little shaky on the conveyance that will be used by the Four Riders during the Last Days ("It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!").

Before Maude's death, the Flanders' summered at their cottage in Little Pwagmattasquarmesettport. He owns a small lake-boat, which he has converted for water-skiing, and a larger yacht with room for four to sleep onboard. He has been known to offer the use of the latter to strangers. (He also owns a dingy; camping out in which is a favourite Flanders family activity.)

Ned has spent a good deal of money on items that have (somehow) found their way into Simpsons' basement (including, but not limited to, a T.V. tray, a camcorder and a belt-sander).

Episodes starring Ned

This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Ned Flanders plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.

• Dead Putting Society (Season 2, Episode 6) Homer is determined to embarrass Ned when their sons compete at miniature golf.
• When Flanders Failed (Season 3, Episode 3) Ned quits his job and opens the Leftorium.
• Homer Loves Flanders (Season 5, Episode 16) Homer's sudden camaraderie drives even Ned up the wall.
• Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (Season 7, Episode 3) Ned and Maude become foster parents to the Simpson children.
• Hurricane Neddy (Season 8, Episode 8) The Flanders home is destroyed by a hurricane.
• Viva Ned Flanders (Season 10, Episode 10) Homer takes Ned to Vegas for a lesson in carefree living.
• Alone Again, Natura-Diddily (Season 11, Episode 14) A newly widowed Ned tries to pick up his life.
• I'm Goin' to Praiseland (Season 12, Episode 19) Ned fulfills Maude's dream of opening a Christian amusement park.
• A Star is Born-Again (Season 14, Episode 13) A Hollywood starlet is charmed by Ned.
• Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (Season 16, Episode 8) Ned becomes a religious filmmaker.
• Home Away From Homer (Season 16, Episode 20) Homer regrets having inadvertently driven Ned away from Springfield.

"The Adventures of Ned Flanders"

The Adventures of Ned Flanders was a short that appeared at the end of the episode The Front. Here, the Flanders' dedication to religion and perfect family niceness is highlighted, yet again.

Ned (nearly) scolds Rod and Todd, after they refuse to get ready for church, only to be told that it is, in fact, a Saturday.

The short featured a theme song titled Everyone Loves Ned Flanders.

Chorus:

Hens Love Roosters,

Geese Love Ganders,

Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

Homer:

Not me!

Chorus:

...everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

According to commentary on 22 Short Films About Springfield, The Simpsons team wanted to do more "Adventures of Ned Flanders" shorts. Time limitations have prevented them from producing more.

"Everybody Hates Ned Flanders"

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders was a song Homer wrote in the episode Dude, Where's My Ranch? In the beginning, Homer was trying to write a Christmas song; then Ned came in and irritated him by trying to be of assistance. Homer then created a song, which starts...

Everybody in the USA,

Hates their stupid neighbor,

He's Flanders and he's really, really laaaaame,

Flanders tried to wreck my song,

His views on birth control are wrong,

I hate his guts and Flanders is his name

F-L-A-N-R-D-S!

He's the man that I hate best,

I'd like to see his house go up in flames.

F-L-A!

His name is Ned!

E-R-S!

It's a stupid name, he's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No.

You can't upset him even slightly,

He just smiles and nods politely,

Then goes home and worships nightly,

His leftorium, is an emporium, of woe.

F-L-A!

Don't yell at Ned,

D-E-R!

His wife is dead,

Everybody hates that stupid jerk.

Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing,

Filling clubs with angry valentinos.

You don't have to move your feet,

Just hate Flanders to the disco beat,

He's your perky peppy nightmare neighborino.

If you despise polite left-handers,

Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders,

Or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd,

F-L-A!

His name is Ned,

D-R-S!

He's so white bread.

The smiling moustache geek who walks with God.

References outside The Simpsons

Radio talk show host and cultural commentator Michael Medved often says that he was the inspiration for the character Ned Flanders.

Medved notes such similarities as the glasses, the moustache, the sweater, and the faith-based lifestyle (except that Flanders is a born-again Christian, while Medved is an observant Jew). In a possible reverse-reference, in the episode "The Ziff Who Came to Dinner" the Flanders children are portrayed as consulting a movie guide entitled "What Would Jesus View?" by Michael Medved.

In The Fairly Oddparents TV movie, "Channel Chasers", a parody of Ned Flanders, a parody of Barney Gumble, as well as a parody of Krusty the Clown are shown in a scene poking fun at The Simpsons. The Fairly Odd Ned said, "Well, hidilly-diddily-diddily-daddily-diddily-daddily!"

During an episode of Cheap Seats on ESPN Classic that focused on a poker tournament, the Sklar Brothers mocked one of the players for looking like Ned Flanders.

The players of the Australian cricket team used to refer to their coach John Buchanan as "Ned", mainly because of his close similaritites to Ned Flanders (especially the thick moustache and spectacles). Recently, John shaved his moustache to avoid getting teased.

In an episode of Johnny Bravo, Weird Al Yankovic, Don Knotts and the Blue Falcon tried to improve the show by bringing in a robotic sidekick. It has a setting that produces speaking patterns very similar to Ned's.

Radio 1 (now Radio 2) DJ Steve Wright bears a strong resemblance to Ned Flanders, and has noted this himself.