Talk:Fiscal capacity: Difference between revisions
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== Some comments == |
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Hi, {{u|Vivianliu94}}. Thanks for writing this article. I think you've got a lot of important information here and you've covered (what seems to me to be) a good outline of the topic. My only major recommendation is that you simplify some of the sentences, especially in the latter paragraphs. I know this is a complex topic and it is important to fairly and precisely represent the voices on it, but compound-complex sentences--like the snarl of one I'm navigating now--can make it harder for a reader to get a comfortable handle on the topic. |
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I would also recommend condensing and reframing the article to focus on what you want the reader to come away with. I find this helps a bit: look at each of your paragraphs and try to determine the core ideas you need to get across to your audience. Let's take the two paragraphs starting from "''Richer and more developed countries have larger...''" as an example. I see: |
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* Richer countries can raise more revenue and this corresponds with a higher fiscal capacity. |
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* They can not only raise more money they can do so more efficiently for a variety of reasons |
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* Optimal taxation theory suggests that the kinds of taxes these states tend to raise are more efficient |
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* But this general theory has some problems, namely some obvious lurking variables. |
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** rich countries have institutions which make certain forms of taxation contribute more or less to fiscal capacity |
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The next paragraph goes on to discuss the important and recent developments in that discussion but in doing so repeats some of the points above. I've broken the article out a bit. I hope the above helps. Let me know if you need more (or more specific) info. [[User:Adam (Wiki Ed)|Adam (Wiki Ed)]] ([[User talk:Adam (Wiki Ed)|talk]]) 18:54, 6 April 2016 (UTC) |
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Revision as of 18:54, 6 April 2016
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Some comments
Hi, Vivianliu94. Thanks for writing this article. I think you've got a lot of important information here and you've covered (what seems to me to be) a good outline of the topic. My only major recommendation is that you simplify some of the sentences, especially in the latter paragraphs. I know this is a complex topic and it is important to fairly and precisely represent the voices on it, but compound-complex sentences--like the snarl of one I'm navigating now--can make it harder for a reader to get a comfortable handle on the topic.
I would also recommend condensing and reframing the article to focus on what you want the reader to come away with. I find this helps a bit: look at each of your paragraphs and try to determine the core ideas you need to get across to your audience. Let's take the two paragraphs starting from "Richer and more developed countries have larger..." as an example. I see:
- Richer countries can raise more revenue and this corresponds with a higher fiscal capacity.
- They can not only raise more money they can do so more efficiently for a variety of reasons
- Optimal taxation theory suggests that the kinds of taxes these states tend to raise are more efficient
- But this general theory has some problems, namely some obvious lurking variables.
- rich countries have institutions which make certain forms of taxation contribute more or less to fiscal capacity
The next paragraph goes on to discuss the important and recent developments in that discussion but in doing so repeats some of the points above. I've broken the article out a bit. I hope the above helps. Let me know if you need more (or more specific) info. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:54, 6 April 2016 (UTC)