Mr. Burns

Template:Simpsons character Charles Montgomery Burns (born September 15, 1889?), normally referred to simply as Mr. Burns, but also goes by C. Montgomery Burns, or even "Monty" Burns, is a fictional character on The Simpsons, voiced by Harry Shearer. He is the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and Homer Simpson's boss; he is also a distant relative of the Simpson family.

He is fabulously wealthy; with a net worth of $8.4 billion, he ranks fifth amongst the Forbes Fictional 15. Due to the fact he is Springfield's most powerful (and probably only) plutocrat, Mr. Burns is the only villain in the show who can do whatever he wants without consequence or interference from the police. He is attended at almost all times by Waylon Smithers, his loyal aide, confidant and secret admirer. Burns has a seemingly child-like dependence on Smithers, who performs all of his tasks for him (from kidnapping Tom Jones to serving breakfast).

With his unapologetic and near-complete disdain for morality, as well as his insidious and sprawling influence, Burns essentially represents a cynical view of the 'true face' of modern Corporate America. Matt Groening has told the Portland Tribune that his inspiration for the character's name came from the very large Montgomery Park sign atop a former Montgomery Ward high-rise in Portland, Oregon's Northwest Industrial District. (It is also rumored, however, that he may have taken the name from fellow artist Charles Burns, a classmate at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington.)

Burns was originally designed as a one-dimensional recurring villain, who might occasionally enter the Simpson's lives and wreak some sort of havoc; however, his popularity has meant that many significant details concerning his life have been made known – many of these mirroring those of other rich businessmen, fictional or real. (For example, in Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish, he yelled "You can't do this to me, I'm Charles! Montgomery! Burns!", an allusion to Orson Welles's Citizen Kane). This particular connection has been explored in other episodes, both broadly and in subtle detail). His favorite expression is the word "Excellent," muttered slowly in a low, sinister voice while tenting his fingertips.

Age

Burns' true age is one of the many ongoing subjects of discussion among fans. His birthday is 15 September, but the year of his birth is uncertain. It has seemed to fluctuate at intervals during the course of the show. Occasionally referred to as “Springfield's oldest resident,” he was shown as being younger than Abraham Simpson in several episodes. It is frequently alluded to that Mr. Burns was born in the late 19th or early 20th century, although in an episode where Burns is at the DMV taking a driver's test he shows his old licence which was listed to expire in 1909. (There had been little change in his appearance over the intervening decades, according to the associated picture, though he did have more hair — as he supposedly started to lose his hair in college, he must be very old indeed).

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Image of Burns' license

Flashbacks to his early childhood are often recorded in sepia tone, a reference both to early motion-picture technology and the vagaries of memory. He has been explicitly referred to as being as young as 81, and as old as 104. In the fifteenth season episode Fraudcast News, Mr. Burns mentions that he was born in 1889, making his current age 116 years old as of 2006.

Mr. Burns also once said that his birthplace was Pangaea, the super-continent that existed during the age of the dinosaurs. On the wall of his manor, one can see a stuffed triceratops head, next to that of an elephant. In one episode, Burns, whilst at an automatic teller machine, is informed by Waylon Smithers that the former's personal identification number is Burns' age, whereupon Burns enters four numbers, implying an age of at least 1000 years.Mr. Burns' longevity has been credited to Satan, to whom he was photographed giving a $1 billion cheque, in one episode, and whom he was actually reputed to be, in another. It is occasionally implied that Mr. Burns worships Satan. However, he still must have a lengthy operation once a week in order to stave off death — this leaves him in a blissful narcotic haze, with a pronounced radioactive glow. (A state of homeostasis, created by his having all diseases known to man — known as "Three Stooges syndrome" — has thus far prevented him from suffering any particular debilitating disease.) He frequently builds children's hospitals so he can use them as organ banks, and may have to cryonically freeze himself in the future, after suffering seventeen stab wounds to the back.

Biography

Early life

When he was very young, Burns lived happily with his loving, natural parents, little brother George, and teddy bear Bobo. (His parents even called him "Happy"). However, given the chance, he decided to live with a twisted billionaire, and left this healthy childhood behind him, again reminiscent of Citizen Kane.

His mother is still alive, apparently, at 132/133 years of age (born 1873/1874), although no mention of her as alive has been made since the show's tenth season. She is very resentful of her son (he once tried to euthanise her — "who could've known you'd pull through and...live...for another 5 decades?"). It has been revealed that she had an affair with U.S. President William Howard Taft, an act for which Burns has never forgiven her. Burns calls her 'Mater' (Latin for 'Mother', a common 19th century term of endearment among the aristocratic and wealthy). Interestingly, on one of his own medical forms, Burns wrote under "cause of parents' death": got in my way. In another episode, he says that lack of indoor plumbing "killed my mother".

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Monty Burns as a child, with teddy bear Bobo

The Burns family seems to have owned at least one "atom mill" at the start of the 20th century, employing strong laborers to split atoms by repeatedly hitting anvils with sledgehammers. His miserliness is congenital: his grandfather once had an employee walled-up in an abandoned coke oven for stealing six atoms. As a privileged child, Burns amused himself by injuring hapless immigrant laborers – in one episode, a very young Monty rammed an Irish Coney Island amusement park worker with a bumper car until he was paralyzed from the waist down. (Burns imagines that such an activity is still socially-acceptable for the well-to-do. Indeed, he used to ride a fat man to work.) He and his family members are usually portrayed as archetypal early capitalist exploiters, and he has not become any more progressive over the decades. When Marge Simpson suggested "theme days" to improve worker morale, he leapt at the idea of "Child Labor Day". Several employees at his Nuclear Plant speak no English (Tibor, Zutroy), several of them are enslaved Brazilian football players ('that plane landed on my property!'), and several of them are avians – 'Stuart the Duck' is in charge of intra-plant waste transport, for example.

When spying on his workers via his security camera network, he inevitably refers to them using archaic, derogatory terms. (His own internal dictionary does not include 'recycling', but places emphasis on 'ragamuffin'). Burns graduated from Yale University in 1914, where he studied science and even played on the varsity football team. He was also inducted into the infamous Skull and Bones secret society. He maintains a certain degree of contact with his alma mater, and has some influence with the admissions committee (though sometimes not as much as he needs). He may have had an affair with 'Countess von Zeppelin'. He claims to have personally known President Calvin Coolidge.

In 1939, Burns went to his 25^th college reunion. There he met Lily Bancroft, the daughter of an old flame. He took her to see Gone With the Wind, and they gave into lust after hearing Clark Gable utter his famous forbidden phrase at the end of the film. Their brief affair resulted in Lily giving birth to a son, Larry Burns (voiced by Rodney Dangerfield). Her family forced her to give up Larry to an orphanage, then, according to Burns, they "bundled her off to a convent in the South Seas." He did not meet his son until the adult Larry's quest to find his biological father, and an accidental sighting on a train, brought him to Springfield. When it became obvious that Burns was more than a little embarrassed by his boorish progeny, Homer hatched a scheme to "fake-nap" Larry in an effort to demonstrate to Burns that he really loved him. However, the plan backfired, and Larry left Springfield.

In C.E. D'OH! Burns revealed that he once had a fiancée named Gertrude. But he was such a workaholic, he not only missed the wedding but their divorce, as well: "She died of loneliness. Loneliness and rabies."

Post-WWII

Burns served in the United States Army during World War II. As part of Springfield's Flying Hellfish squad battalion, he saw action (and played some tennis) in the Ardennes during the Battle of the Bulge, serving under Sergeant Abraham Simpson. He was thereafter transferred to the South Pacific with part of his squad.

However, Burns may also have worked for (or traded with) Nazi Germany, as he once remarked, "Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis; but mine worked, damn it!". (Abraham Simpson explains that Burns was demoted to the rank of a private after trying to block a probe from J. Edgar Hoover).

Burns' close relationship with former German Empires is further supported by the fact that an Otto von Bismarck doppelganger, complete with handlebar moustache and pickelhaube helmet, was the only guest on his side during his failed attempt to marry Marge Simpson's mother Jacqueline Bouvier. (Also, when Burns met with a German business consortium to discuss selling his nuclear plant, it was revealed that he speaks fluent German.) In the episode Midnight Rx, Mr. Burns describes how he flew the Plywood Pelican six feet above the ground — for a distance of four feet — until he learned that "rain made it catch fire". After that he said "the Führer" fired him, further implying a link with the Nazis.

At the end of the war he was personally hired by President Harry S. Truman to transport a specially-printed trillion-dollar bill to Europe. It was to be the American Government's original contribution to the reconstruction of Europe — as America's richest citizen, he was thought to be also the most trustworthy. However, the bill (and Burns) vanished en route. It was later discovered to be carried on his person at all times, and ended up in the hands of Fidel Castro after Burns tried to buy the island of Cuba. (It is implied he would be charged with the theft, and possibly treason, but that he would bribe the jury to secure an acquittal).

During the 1960s, Burns operated a biological weapons laboratory until it was destroyed by peace activists — including Mona Simpson, Homer's mother. (The laboratory's motto was When the H-Bomb isn't enough). Shortly thereafter he built the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. In the 1970s, his major collaborator, Waylon Smithers Sr., died while trying to prevent a nuclear accident. Burns took responsibility for Smithers' son, Waylon Smithers Jr. (However, Burns never told him the truth about his father's death, saying that he was "killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women".)

In another episode, Burns sabotages a Greenpeace environmental action, from the inside: "It was I, you fools! The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all! And all this time I was smoking harmless tobacco!"

Present day

Burns maintains a monopoly over Springfield's energy resources, owning both the electric company (Springfield Nuclear Power Plant has been his for roughly 30 years) and the water works. He also owns a hotel on Baltic Avenue.

Several incidents have occurred during which he has lost his sole control of the plant: briefly when Homer and Lisa staged a hostile takeover; when he found out he was flat broke; when he sold the plant to German investors; and when he lost all of his money in a bet with Colonel O'Hara, the Rich Texan Guy.

Burns has been known to use his economic power to blackmail mayor Joe Quimby, and the citizens of the town in general. As a result, Burns is widely hated by the people of Springfield, and in return he has nothing but contempt for them, dismissing them with such insulting names as "Joe Sixpack", "Sally Housecoat" and "Eddie Punchclock" (or "Betsy Bleeding-Heart" and "Maynard G. Muskievote").

He has occasionally run other businesses in Springfield — most notably the Monty Burns Casino, which operated for several years after Springfield legalized gambling. He also co-owned the "Li'l Lisa" recycling and ocean slurry manufacturing plant, and he once 'slant-drilled' for oil under Springfield Elementary School, destroying the lives and livelihoods of many people, amazingly all related to the Simpson family. (eg. Abe's home got sunk, Moe's tavern filled with toxins, Bart's dog stuck in a cast, etc.)

There have also been references to possible control of an anti-democratic government force in South America: "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya"(he says this to the SNPP workers before realizing he's giving the wrong speech).

Burns resides in a vast, ornate mansion on an immense estate called Burns Manor, located at the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in the 'Springfield Heights' district. (His actual address is 1000 Mammon Street, and he is neighbour to Kent Brockman).

His estate is the site of an annual company picnic, but he is not generally fond of visitors. (The sprawling estate is protected by a high wall, an electrified fence and a team of vicious attack dogs — the source of his other catchphrase: "Release the hounds". He also maintains a force of Wizard of Oz-style guards, a personal paramilitary force, and a dangerously unstable robotic version of Richard Simmons).

The mansion itself is replete with interesting nooks and crannies. It includes: a room containing a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters; a bottomless pit (for all intents and purposes); a human chessboard (formerly a tennis court); the largest television in the free world; a 'Hall of Patriots' commemorating his ancestors; and rare historical artifacts (the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, King Arthur's mythical sword Excalibur, a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it).

His home also contains a "playroom" — a theatre showing plays round-the clock (regardless of whether or not anyone is actually watching); a laboratory filled with bizarre chemical equipment; a botanical garden and aviary (with vultures surprisingly similar to Burns in visage); and a safe containing a Beefeater guard.

He has an elaborate miniature railway, which disappears through a hole in the wall and frequently returns with snow on it.

Instead of making his bed, Burns drops the bed through the floor into an incinerator each morning — after the floor closes, a brand new bed pops out of the wall with linens already in place.

Burns does, however, have a surprisingly unattractive basement ("I really should stop ending the tour with it").

He may also maintain a separate residence in Pennsylvania — which contains a 'Super Happy Fun Slide' and various vampire-related accoutrements.

Burns's office at the nuclear plant contains a number of similarly outlandish features. One wall can be raised to reveal various surprises, including: his team of ten high-priced lawyers; a special microbe-resistant chamber in which he plans to shelter during any upcoming flu epidemic; a two-seat escape pod (Smithers assumes the second seat is for him, but was in fact installed because Burns likes to put his feet up), etc.

The office also contains a ceiling-mounted suction tube which he can use to transport dissident workers to Morocco.

The gigantic stuffed polar bear in the corner has a secret tunnel under it that leads to the old quarry.

The office floor opens up like that of Auric Goldfinger, revealing a miniature scale model of Springfield. (He uses this model to demonstrate his sun-blocker-outer in Who Shot Mr. Burns?, and proceeds to go on a Godzilla-like rampage through the city).

He has also riddled the office with trap doors, peepholes, and giant metric weights for use against workers and Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspectors.

Apparently, his entire office can be rotated so that his window has different views.

Another sliding wall, encompassing the bookcase and security monitors, can reveal the headquarters of the "League of Evil", a cabal which once consisted of a mad scientist (possibly Graeme from The Goodies), a WWI-era German officer, a cowboy, a US Air Force officer, and a samurai. When Burns calls upon them, unfortunately, he finds nothing but their skeletal remains sitting at a conference table, all of them having long ago died due to the lack of oxygen behind the wall. After his initial dismay at their passing, he orders their watches to be gathered.

Burns's telephone number is 636-555-0001 in 'Lisa's Date with Density', and 636-555-0113 in 'A Tale of Two Springfields'.

His Social Security number is 000-00-0002 ("Damn Roosevelt").

In 1995 Burns built an elaborate contraption to block out the sun in Springfield, thus ensuring that citizens would have to use (and pay for) his electricity 24 hours a day. The move earned him universal hatred from the people of Springfield, and he was ultimately shot. However, it later came to light, after an intensive police search, that the violence had occurred accidentally, perpetrated by Maggie Simpson. Before Maggie was revealed to be the shooter, however, "everyone in town [was] a suspect" — Burns had angered just about everyone with some of his policies over the years and in that episode particularly. (There have been subsequent indications that Maggie might have shot him intentionally.)

It is not known who presently stands to inherit his wealth (especially since Smithers is to be buried alive in Burns' coffin). He once chose Bart Simpson to be his de jure heir, but this failed when Bart displayed loyalty to his former family by refusing to fire Homer upon command. Burns soon disowned him. Burns may leave his money to the Egg Advisory Council, as he has stated he would do this if he felt he had failed to find a suitable heir. (It is possible Larry Burns would inherit it (though Burns would later indicate he knew of Larry's existence, in the episode where he adopts Bart he claims to have never fathered a child.))

He has been engaged at least twice in recent years, to Jacqueline Bouvier and to a policewoman named Gloria. Both women left him before the marriages actually took place.

In an attempt to lure people away from the growing cult of the "Movementarians", Burns attempted to start his own religion, with himself as its 'Golden God'. After Smithers advised him not to adopt the 'K' from the logo of Special K cereal or a Mickey Mouse-based motif as its defining symbol, he determined to use a Christmas Tree with a giant 'B' on the front. At the grand opening of his new religion, Burns used special effects and his riot police to try and awe the crowd. However, a spark from a Catherine wheel ignited his fake beard and golden body suit, resulting in him falling from his balcony after Smithers tried to extinguish the flames.

Organizations

• A staunchly conservative Republican
• The head of Springfield's local Republican Party (other members have included Sideshow Bob, the Rich Texan, Rainer Wolfcastle, Dr. Hibbert, Krusty the Clown, Bob Dole, Ralph Nader, and Count Dracula). In a parody of both Rupert Murdoch and William Randolph Hearst, he once attempted to buy every media outlet in Springfield, but his plans failed after Lisa started her own newspaper.
• A member of the "Excluders Club".
• Member of Skull and Bones
• Member of the Stonecutters (ranked below Lenny, later quit with everyone but Homer)
• Member of the Ancient Mystic Order of No-Homers, the organization formed by the former members of the Stonecutters, after leaving their former messiah to his own devices. (Based in a defunct ice cream shop).
• Flying Hellfish squad (former member, part of a tontine regarding the ownership of fine German artwork).
• Head of the Burns Religion founded against the Movementarians.
• Member of the Springfield Golf and Country Club
• Member of the Pin-Pals bowling team

Health

Because of his age, Burns is very physically weak, often to the point where he seems to straddle the line between life and death. He often has great difficulty performing the most basic physical tasks, such as giving a thumbs-up, crushing a paper cup or stepping on an insect. A single high-five is capable of knocking Burns off his feet, while bunting a baseball is enough to knock him to the backstop (to be fair, he was attempting to bunt off of Roger Clemens).

His organs have grown immensely weak over the years: his heart is black, desiccated, and barely beats at all. It is shrunken to the size of a cherry.

On one occasion, Burns' brain fell out through his ear. Another time, his lungs came out through his mouth and acted like an airbag. Burns' skin glows a healthy green, due to his constant exposure to nuclear energy and waste.

It has been hinted that Burns can survive without his heart - he stated that, after a dollar bill struck his chest, "had my heart been inside at the time, it could have been fatal".

He is light enough to be pushed over by an ant.

Once, accidentally, Smithers let a bathing sponge fall atop Burns' head (Mr. Burns had complained that the sponge had corners, prompting Smithers to leave to find a spherical one), leading him to sink into his bathtub and nearly drown.

He is so old that when his finger is pricked, he bleeds dust.

He wears dentures that replace themselves with a cash register bell "cha-ching", ("Hmm... I think I'll have fangs today").

He once told Smithers that he must have his brain flushed out with vinegar and his eyes "re-balled". Smithers has told Burns that his knees will be "back from the shop tomorrow".

It has been revealed that if Burns sweats even one drop, he will die of dehydration unless he takes a bath immediately.

Years of working in a nuclear plant have made Burns "as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner".

If he is not careful, fluid can build up in his hands, causing them to swell to enormous proportions.

He is so bony that when he sits down, it appears as though his pants are pleated even when they aren't.

In the episode Goo Goo Gai Pan, it is revealed, on Mr. Burns' driver's license, that he is 5' 10". However, this was probably his youth/peak height (in 1909), and he is probably shorter now.

In one episode it was revealed that he has every known virus, and some previously-unknown ones newly discovered inside him. However, all the virus's block each other out -- like the Three Stooges all trying to push through a doorway at once -- leaving him semi-healthy. He leaves thinking he is indestructible ("Even a slight breeze could..." "Indestructible").

He is so light, he flies backward when Bathroom Hand Dryers are turned on

State of mind

Mr. Burns is perpetually forgetting Homer Simpsons' name, and he often forgets that he ever knew of his existence. This is a running gag on the show, and drives Homer quite crazy.

Generally, Mr. Burns is portrayed as being deeply "out of touch". He:

• He often slips into language appropriate for the early 20th century or the 19th century ("score", meaning 20 years, "twain", meaning 2, and "post-haste", meaning rapidly). He denounces today's non-usage of these words to the advent of "Modern English."
• He calls peanuts "crackleberries".
• He still thinks Prussia is a separate country (it became a part of the newly-formed German Empire in 1871, and is now largely within Poland).
• Upon arriving at a gas station, Burns orders Marge (whom he mistakes for an attendant) to "revulcanize my tires post-haste", and refers to gasoline as "petroleum distillate". (Interestingly, Petroleum Distillate is still available for sale in some parts of Australia.)
• He once claimed to have watched the DuMont Network "last night". (To be fair, Burns only mentioned seeing something "on the DuMont," and thus could have been using the name to refer to the TV set itself. This would be (albeit only slightly) less anachronistic.)
• He once created a small model airplane which he called the Spruce Moose a play on the "Spruce Goose" and later threatened Smithers with a revolver to board it.
• He thinks that Sir Donald Bradman, Stewie Dempster, and Vic Richardson are all still alive and still playing cricket.
• He believes that Thailand is still called Siam, and that Congo-Kinshasa is still the Belgian Congo.
• He thought Fulgencio Batista was still the president of Cuba, until he flew there and discovered Fidel Castro was the President.
• He calls Principal Skinner "dean" and refers to his grade as "fourth form" while pretending to be a student at Springfield Elementary School.
• He thinks that Al Jolson is still alive.
• He is substantially confused by the marketing of both ketchup and catsup.
• He has an actual mace instead of pepper spray (which is also called mace).
• He thinks that India is still part of the British Empire, despite India's having gained independence in 1947.
• He thinks that JFK Airport is still called Idlewild Airport.
• He demands that his mail be delivered by autogyro, considers donuts to be "ethnic food," and he answers his "telephone machine" with "ahoy-hoy?" (in the manner of Alexander Graham Bell before "hello" became commonplace).
• He still uses the word "gay" in its meaning of "jolly".
• He refers to the television as a "jumping box" and a "picto-tube".
• With regards to professional baseball, he believes that there is still a Negro League. When he orders Smithers to find the nine celebrity baseball players who would be on his company softball team, he asks for Honus Wagner, Cap Anson and Mordecai Brown, all of whom are dead.
• Also related to baseball is when he says, after giving Homer Simpson a Joe DiMaggio baseball card, "Apparently they've started letting ethnics into the big leagues". At the same time he gave Homer the DiMaggio card, he says DiMaggio is "that rookie from the New York Nine"; to be exact, he thinks that they continue to use the "New York Nine" nickname for the New York Yankees. DiMaggio's rookie year was 1936.
• When asked about his hobbies during a date, Burns spies the crowd for youthful-looking answers. He says his hobbies include (from seeing kids riding bumper cars) "piloting motorcoaches" and (from seeing a man pick up after his dog) "collecting dog waste", believing that the latter is a commonplace pastime for young people.
• He says of the Fire Department; "They're new but they're good."
• He believes cars still have levers instead of a driving wheel; when learning to drive a car for the first time, he is confident that the manual will tell him "which lever is the velocitator and which is the deceleratrix." He still thinks of driving an automobile as being a special privilege — he drives around town with no regard for traffic laws in the style of rich young motorists of the early 1900s. He drives dressed in the style of early 20th century drivers — gloves, a hat and a mask.
• In addition to his limousine, he owns a 1936 maroon Stutz Bearcat, which he drives whilst wearing a Victorian motorists' outfit which includes hat and goggles, and at times he drives a luxury 1948 Rolls-Royce with which he once hit 10 year old Bart Simpson while driving.
• He writes letters using a quill pen and bottle of ink.
• He doesn't know what ice cream is until he actually tries it... almost 100 years after the first ice cream cone was introduced ("I'm beginning to like this so-called iced-cream").
• Trying to chat up a young woman, Burns offers to play the clavichord and to show some "stereopticon images" of the Crimean War.
• Burns has trouble understanding modern slang, such as "in-to".
• Faced by the belated news of the Stock Market Crash of 1929 on his tickertape machine, Burns moves his shareholdings into "that up-and-coming Baltimore Opera Hat Company", "Amalgamated Spats" and "Confederated Slave Holdings". The latter would indicate that being out of touch is a Burns family matter as he was born after the demise of the Confederate state.
• In one of his speeches, Burns made references to Louise Brooks, "the silent star of Lulu".
• He is not aware that "there's a New Mexico". Since New Mexico joined the Union in 1912 — when Burns was in his twenties — this indicates that he did not gradually lose touch with modern events, but simply never paid any attention to them.
• He thinks that musicals about "the common cat" and "the King of Siam" are unheard of.
• He is bewildered by the most basic examples of modern technology. In one episode, he mistakes a vending machine for a confectionery shop and starts talking to it. When faced with a sneeze guard in his cafeteria, he is quickly confused and believes it to be "some kind of a force field".
• He is mystified when Lisa mentions "recycling," which Mr. Burns pronounced syllable-by-syllable ("re-sah-gling").
• He has at least a basic but solid understanding of phrenology, a discredited field of science which studies the correlation between the shape of the human skull and human intelligence.
• He appears unaware of inflation, claiming that a nickel could buy "a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel, with enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the Polo Grounds" (the latter being a former stadium in New York).
• He thinks Collier's Weekly still publishes, despite ending in 1957.
• He once asked Homer to prepare a lunch for him that consisted of "a single pillow of shredded wheat, steamed toast, and a dodo egg".
• Though he does not seem to know the dodo is extinct, Burns has a knowledge of other creatures, such as the "Fenway flounder" and the "pocket fox", which have died out long ago.
• Burns still owns an antique view camera which requires seventy-eight minutes to take a picture.
• He gives Homer a ticket to the 1939 World's Fair.
• He once mentions his hatred of Democrats for "letting the Spaniards back in the pantry".
• Refers to a tape recorder as a "dictabelt".
• When entering a strip club, he refers to it as "one of those nude female fire stations".
• Believes that the Packard is new.
• Once employed a heroic dog as the vice president of the Springfield Nuclear Plant

Real life models

The character of C. M. Burns was originally modeled after Fox Broadcasting Company executive Barry Diller, with notable similarities to Howard Hughes (for example, during a particular bout of eccentricity, he became paranoid about germs, wore tissue boxes on his feet, collected his urine in jars, and built a model plane which he dubbed the Spruce Moose), William Randolph Hearst (indirectly through Citizen Kane), Andrew Carnegie, George Burns, and others.

Real Life C. M. Burns? Multimillionaire financier J. P. Morgan hands out a thrashing

He bears a striking physical resemblance to Fred Olsen, (see comparison: [1]) the reclusive Norwegian shipping magnate and owner of the Timex watch brand.

Harry Shearer originally based Mr. Burns' voice on that of President of the United States Ronald Reagan.

A popular tale in the U.S. Navy nuclear community is that the character was based on Admiral Hyman G. Rickover — for many years the head of the Navy's nuclear program and famous for his eccentricities.

Another popular theory is that Burns' physiology resembles that of the late actor Julian Beck.

Students of Harvard University — many Simpsons' writers are alumni — claim that Mr. Burns' economics and überconservative nature are based upon Marty Feldstein, an economics professor there, or Michael Sandel, a philosopher.

There is a rumor among members of the Sigma Chi Fraternity that former Grand Consul (national president) Dick Hester is the model for Mr. Burns, and that Groening himself is a Sigma Chi. The former is unconfirmed; the latter is false.

Some have also proposed that he is based on John D. Rockefeller, citing Mr. Burns's brutally monopolistic nature and the fact that both worked in the energy industry.

Another theory proposes that Mr. Burns is in fact based on Matt Groening's high school civics teacher, David Bailey, whose physical appearance is very similar to that of Burns. (Legend has it that Matt Groening did not do well in David Bailey's class, and the two did not get along well.)

Fictional models

• Ebenezer Scrooge/Scrooge McDuck

His Scottish ancestry - both Montgomery and Burns are Scottish names - may be a reference not only to the common stereotype of 'Scot-as-miser', but to the Disney character Scrooge McDuck (himself a reference to A Christmas Carol's Ebenezer Scrooge; the inspiration for whom was the Scot, Ebenezer Lennox Scroggie). Burns reenacts elements of A Christmas Carol in the episode Grift of the Magi, especially the scene where he brings the Simpson family Christmas dinner, as Scrooge did with the Cratchit family. In addition, he once dismissed a Mary Poppins parody with Scrooge's own catchphrase: "Bah Humbug!".

• Charles Foster Kane (see above)

Burns is also a conglomeration of many villain archetypes. Among the many inspirations are:

• The Wicked Witch of the West: At one point, he owned a number of winged monkeys, but they were unable to fly. He also has a number of guards outside his mansion who chant ("O-ee-o! o-O!") and perform ritual dances like those outside the Witch's castle in the The Wizard of Oz
• Emperor Palpatine: Burns carries himself in a similar way, hunched over with arms curled, and the Imperial March from Star Wars has accompanied him.
• The Grinch: When Burns turned off Springfield's electricity, he was surprised to find the townspeople unbowed and singing. As he put it:

"Look at them all, through the darkness I'm bringing

They're not sad at all. They're actually singing!

They sing without juicers

They sing without blenders

They sing without flungers, capdabblers and smendlers!"

Further, he is said to have stolen Christmas between 1981 and 1985, and manages to do it again in the future ("I miss Christmas," Lisa says sadly).

• Cruella DeVil: in "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds", his motivation is the same as DeVil's — to make a fur coat out of puppies, (though he prefers greyhounds to dalmatians).

Quotes

"Employee of the month isn't all ham and plaques!"

"Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name."

"Oh man, that's good E!"

"This is America! Justice should favor the rich!"

"Excellent..."

"Hum...a dollar for eternal happiness... I'd be happier with the dollar"

"Smithers there's a rocket in my pocket"

Episodes starring Mr. Burns

This is a list of Simpsons episodes in which Mr. Burns plays a substantial role in driving the plot, not simply a supporting role.

• Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (Season 2, Episode 4) Burns runs for governor.
• Brush with Greatness (Season 2, Episode 18) Burns asks Marge to paint a portrait of him.
• Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk (Season 3, Episode 11) Burns sells the power plant to a German company.
• Rosebud (Season 5, Episode 4) Burns wants his childhood teddy bear back.
• $pringfield (Season 5, Episode 10) Burns opens his own casino.
• Burns' Heir (Season 5, Episode 18) Burns chooses Bart to be his heir.
• Lady Bouvier's Lover (Season 5, Episode 21) Burns woos Marge's mother away from Grandpa.
• Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (Season 6, Episode 20) Burns steals Santa's Little Helper's puppies.
• Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Season 6, Episode 25 & Season 7, Episode 1) Burns is shot after enraging the whole town.
• Homer the Smithers (Season 7, Episode 17) Smithers goes on vacation, and a desperate Burns hires Homer to replace his lackey.
• Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" (Season 7, Episode 22) Burns tries to kill Grandpa to get a treasure they found during World War II.
• Mountain of Madness (Season 8, Episode 12) Burns and Homer become buried in a cabin.
• The Old Man and the Lisa (Season 8, Episode 21) After losing his fortune, Burns turns to Lisa for help.
• The Trouble with Trillions (Season 9, Episode 20) Homer is hired by the FBI to find a 1 trillion dollar bill stolen by Burns.
• Monty Can't Buy Me Love (Season 10, Episode 21) Burns tries to win the love of Springfield.
• Homer vs. Dignity (Season 12, Episode 5) Burns forces Homer to make a fool of himself for his own amusement.
• A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (Season 13, Episode 4) Burns falls for a meter maid who tickets his car.
• Fraudcast News (Season 15, Episode 22) Burns acquires all media outlets in Springfield, except Lisa's newspaper.
• Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore (Season 17, Episode 17) Burns outsources SNPP to India and takes Homer there to coach the Indian employees.

Video game appearances

• The Simpsons: The Arcade Game, where Mr. Burns is the main villain and the final boss of the Simpsons arcade game. In the eighth and last stage, he attempts to destroy the Simpsons using a large mechanical walker, which changes forms as it takes damage.
• Bart vs The World, where Mr. Burns is the main villain in the "Bart vs The World" video game. In it Bart wins a drawing contest on the Krusty the Clown show with a really poor drawing. The prize is a tour of the world. However, it transpires that Mr. Burns has bribed the judges of the drawing contest and wants to kill off the Simpsons once and for all. He enlists his relatives who live in each country Bart visits. At the end of each country Bart has to battle the relative of Mr.Burns, (who look very similar to Springfield's Mr.Burns). Upon defeating each Burns scion, Bart manages to advance to the next level.
• The Simpsons Road Rage, where Mr. Burns appears as a villain in The Simpsons Road Rage video game. He appears in the opening and ending cutscenes. In the opening cutscene, Burns is at City Hall, saying that he controls the transportation system. Burns also appears in Road Rage and Mission modes (only in three missions). At Road Rage mode, Burns just said: Gettim, Smithers. After that, he runs off. In Mission 2 in Mission mode, Mr. Burns found out that Homer sneaks out work to watch the game, and plans to sneak back to work. In this mission, put Homer back to work without bumping to Mr. Burns, otherwise, you fail the mission (Mr. Burns appears at anywhere on this mission). In Mission 7, Mr. Burns attempted to destroy the invention did Professor Frink created for solving Springfield pollution and vehicle problems, after he hears the invention. In this mission, as Professor Frink, drop Mayor Quimby off City Hall, but watch out for Mr. Burns. In Mission 10, defeat Mr. Burns by smashing the statues in his garden, otherwise, you fail this mission when Mr. Burns bumps you. In the closing cutscene, after the million dollars is at Mr. Burns' door, Mr. Burns returns the buses, and washes his hands.
• The Simpsons: Bart's Nightmare, where, in the 'Bartman' stage, missiles fire at Bart from the Nuclear Plant, and clouds of radiation bar the way. Burns is the stage boss, piloting a WWII bi-plane. Smithers makes two appearances beforehand, piloting a blimp that fires large rockets. Burns also appears as statues on the Springfield Empire State Building.
• The Simpsons: Hit and Run, where, in mission 7 in level 1, Mr. Burns fired Homer Simpson, after he harassed him(But not before he revealed that he had Amelia Earhart's plane shot down. he stated that "That jockey was getting too big for her britches".) In mission 5 in level 7, Mr. Burns gives Homer the map of where the nuclear waste is. Although he doesn't drive any of the cars, two of his cars are availabale - his limo (driven by Smithers) and the Stutz Bearcrat. You can also enter his mansion on level 4 (and on level 1 if you use a glitch and the Jumping-Car cheat code in-game, but there is nothing in it).