Three letters and six etiquette

Three Letters and Six Etiquette is the Chinese practice of parents selecting an acceptable wife for their son. The name comes from three letters, and six common customs performed by the groom-to-be.

Three Letters

The marriage is initiated by a series of three letters.

• Request Letter

The request letter is sent from the groom's family to the bride's family, and formally requests a marriage.

• Gift Letter

The gift letter accompanies the gifts of the groom's family to the bride's family shortly before the wedding.

• Wedding Letter

The wedding letter is given on the day of the wedding, officially accepting the bride into the groom's family.

Six Etiquette

The six etiquette (sometimes translated as "gifts" or "customs") are the usual steps followed, leading up to a marriage.

• Request

The groom's family requests a marriage.

• Birthdates

The two families exchange their children's birthdates. The dates must be checked for compatibility, based upon the Chinese calendar mythology.

• Initial Gifts

If the birthdates are compatible, the groom's family will send gifts to the bride's.

• Formal Gifts

The groom's family will then send an elaborate array of food, cakes, and religious items to the bride's family.

• Wedding Date

The two families will arrange a wedding day which will bring the most luck to the couple, again based on the Chinese calendar mythology.

• Wedding

Both families lavishly celebrate the union, and few expenses are spared.