Wikipedia:Best of BJAODN: Difference between revisions
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The United States Vandalist Party is almost as old as the Wikipedia Project itself, originating from the first vandalism in Wikipedia. To counter the administrators, the first vandal created the Vandalist Party and became its first chairman. In responds, the Administrators and the Sysops created the Administrator Party and the Sysop Party. However, vandalism has gained popularity, and most newbies, hippees, anarchists, and rebels began to support the Vandalists. |
The United States Vandalist Party is almost as old as the Wikipedia Project itself, originating from the first vandalism in Wikipedia. To counter the administrators, the first vandal created the Vandalist Party and became its first chairman. In responds, the Administrators and the Sysops created the Administrator Party and the Sysop Party. However, vandalism has gained popularity, and most newbies, hippees, anarchists, and rebels began to support the Vandalists. |
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Currently, the vandalists are working on a plot to overthrow Jimbo |
Currently, the vandalists are working on a plot to overthrow Jimbo Wales's regime, and restore chaos in Wikipedia. The date of the rebellion is undecided, though it is probable that judgement day will come soon. |
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Revision as of 18:21, 21 December 2004
This is a collection of the best jokes and nonsense from Wikipedia:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense. The criterion for a joke getting on this page is simple: at least one Wikipedian found it funny.
From Coleoptera
The most musical of the Insecta, Coleoptera are known for their tight, 4-part harmonizing and catchy melodies.
From Drummer
Someone who hangs out with musicians.
From Cryptozoology
Cryptozoology studies such "hidden", undiscovered and possibly non-existent creatures as the bigfoot, what happens when a sock disappears from the washing machine, (cf. Patterson-Gimlin film) and the Loch Ness Monster.
TRANSMISSION FROM THE YEAR 2007: STANDBY FOR TIME MOVEMENT:
Weeding was generally thought to be the first indication that Wikipedia would lose its free form nature and become moderated by a small knit circle of fascists willing to impose their own intellectual aesthetic on others, much like Slashdot. Although this increased the consistency of the site and decreased the number of punctuation and spelling errors, a small and militant minority noticed the decrease in the intellectual diversity of the entries, and went on to form its own splinter group, Shittipedia.
By 2005, Wikipedia had become an incorporated entity and was bought out by Westinghouse for 35 million dollars, making many of its key authors very wealthy, while simultaneously alientating tens of thousands of miscreants, ne'er do wells, and other undesirables (who in fact had provided 90% of its content).
See Also fascism elitism Internet Authority Disease --the naked net crusader (ed: otherwise known as the much-loved and missed Sammy Snake) (another ed: I would say "the sort of loved and "missed despite our better judgement Sammy Snake)
From Logical positivism
Logical positivism asserts that only statements about empirical observations are meaningful, effectively asserting that all metaphysical statements are meaningless.
Unfortunately, this fundamental tenet of logical positivism belongs to the family of statements that it asserts to be meaningless. As a result, the entire edifice of logical positivism vanishes in a puff of logic.
This insight appears not to have occurred to the logical positivist school of philosophers.
This is still in the article: Logical positivism failed primarily on the basis that its fundamental tenets could not themselves be formulated in a way that was clearly consistent. The verifiability criterion did not seem verifiable; but neither was it simply a logical tautology, since it had implications for the practice of science and the empirical truth of other statements. This presented severe problems for the logical consistency of the theory.
From Talk:Adolf Hitler
In any encyclopedia Hitler should be given a fair judgement.
He was not a blood-thirsty murderer. Rather a loving family man.
He liked a animals and was kind to them.
Anyway, we so often say that a person who shows kindness to animals can't be a bad person.
Besides he had done a lot of good for the Germans, at least before the WW2 broke out.
Oh, and he enjoyed paying prostitutes to shit on him.
From Jules Rimet trophy
Mildly amusing vandalism:
It is named after the FIFA president Jules Rimet who in 1929 passed a vote to initiate the competition after a bittersweet reunion with the gruff but lovable dwarf who took him in as a child and raised him despite his constant bout with Rickets.
Headline text
From CPGM
The Coalition to Prevent Gratuitous Misuse (CPGM) was organized in 1901 to protest the (then) common misuse of the word weight to mean mass. The movement gained momentum (defined as the vector product of its velocity and mass) when SI was officially adopted in place of metric system, which no longer carried its weight. This movement captured the imagination of the mass of scientists througout the world, although the general public remained unmoved, since a body at rest tends to remain at rest (see Newton's Laws). RYHTDHNYRFJUK
It remains to be seen whether any of these phrases will acquire any global meaning at all, but if they do, you will most certainly read about it here first, as wikipedia is the authority on this kind of thing, and is certainly the only encyclopedia in any position to track such absurdity given how fast it grows.
From Gender analysis
Looking at one's sex. One must bend down.
From Cow tipping
If you succeed in tipping a cow only partway, such that only one of its feet is still on the ground, you have created lean beef. Such a feat is well done. Naturally, being outside, the cow is unstable. When it falls over, it becomes ground beef. David
From Mandelbrot set
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| Amygdalartos benedictus |
The Mandelbrot set (Amygdalartos benedictus, a close relative of the logistic map, A. logisticus) is a fractal.
From Malaga (province)
The Sun Coast (Costa del Sol) is a concrete monster that swallows, burns, and spits back millions of happy European tourists.
From Musician
However, musicians, at least insofar as their human manifestations go, can be distinguished from other creatures that create melodic sounds by their insistence on producing such sounds even when there is no clear reason for them to do so and even in the face of compelling reasons to cease such activity in favour of dealing with crises affecting their personal survival. In other words, even when no reward or likely advantage is to be obtained by the performance of "Brown Eyed Girl" or "Mustang Sally" in a bar full of losers, a musician will, nevertheless, perform such composition or other "song" requested by any audience even as his (or her) girlfriend (or boyfriend) is being wooed by the bartender and/or all his/her belongings are being carted off to a disposal site and/or staff of such establishment are telling him/her to "stop now!". (See also, "guitarist" and "singer" and "homeless person".)
From Alternative rock
Alternative rock is the name given to one stone when you're looking at another stone. The term was coined by photographer Edwin Blastocyst when looking at one stone and speaking about another, oddly enough.
- The quote from Edwin Blastocyst needs to be verified.
From Ontario
Niagara Falls is on the border between Ontario and some unimportant part of the USA
I suppose if one was actually from North Tonowonda, it could be important, maybe...
From Poland
- From an Englishman's diary:
- Monday: I went drinking with the Poles
- Tuesday: I think I'm going to die
- Wednesday: I went drinking with the Poles again
- Thursday: Why the hell didn't I die on Tuesday...
- And in Poland they tell this joke about russians ... Oh, well
From Politics of Belgium
Each minister gets two elk to ride to and from the office.
From Student
A student is a device for converting beer into ... nothing. Compare with mathematician.
What's big and red and eats rocks??
- A big red rock-eater. Everyone knows that. But what is big, red and eats sand?
Amusingly enough, I put this here because i just discovered that a friend of mine (non-English-speaking) did not know this. :-) And ... I dunno, what?
- A big red rock-eater on a diet.
From numerical analysis
Finite elements is a more powerful approach to numerical differential equations than finite difference, but mathematicians prefer the latter because the theorems are easier to prove. Shame on them.
The United States is historically remarkable for being the first nation with obese poor people.
And this was *cut*?? Baylink 22:31, 5 Nov 2004 (UTC)
From Sociology
Sociology is grand! It is the study of social structures like laws and rules and regulations and what we sociologists call. "Mores (pronounced more A's, beloved students) :-) and folkways and customs and taboos.
The word, "sociology", in its furthest "Far out!" context, is a real mind-bender because it means the study of all humanity.
"Sir! You think I can study six BILLION people?" :-)
Good Lord! :-)
Sociology! SOCIOLOGY!
Sociologists are the Gardeners in the Mind -- the "Ideaculturists" in the Garden if the Human Mind, quite like the horticulturists who deal with other growing things.
See a good offshoot? Perhaps help it along?
Cheers! :-)
[COMMENT: Bill Nye the Sociology Guy...]
From Wales
"Not to be confused with Jimbo Wales, or with whales, which are both considerably smaller than Wales and not Celtic, as far as we know."
From special:WantedPages
- Free will is wanted by 11 articles
From Pupil
- Q. Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
- A. Because she couldn't control her pupils.
I would need the names & addresses of Literary Agents who's business is Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) related. Have used ESP all in my life and written a book about. The manuscript is completed and edited by a person who has nine of her books (not ESP related) published. Please send your suggestions to TomKallai@worldnet.att.net. Thanks for anybody's help. Tom Kallai
- So you have ESP, right? So, why don't you just... man, this joke writes itself! --Stephen Gilbert
From Nose picking
Quotations
- "How did you know I went to Harvard?" "I noticed your class ring when you picked your nose."
- "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
- "I know he picks his nose. Feel under the furniture."
A shocking political development.
- As far as I know this was necer written in the article. This started as a stub : "Shocking, just shocking!".
- BTW do you know that when Haute-Volta became Burkina Faso some civil servant decided that the Piles photovoltaïques should be renamed Piles photoburkinabé ?
- Ericd 23:03, 9 Nov 2004 (UTC)
- Someone vandalised Single-party state with Finally Paul Morton's weiner is huge. All the girls want to suck on it. They want him to fuck their hot pussies untiol they are tired! -ÉÍREman
- Did he provide a citation? If not, delete it and ask him to NPOV it. I'm suspicious anyway: a google search on "Paul Morton's weiner" returns zero hits. -º¡º
From Baby Catapult
The Baby Catapult is an invention of insane genius Maxwell Q. Infantlauncher of Indianapolis, Indiana. It is not meant to launch actual infants; it is meant to launch Cabbage Patch Kids and the sort. The goal is for them to go 100 feet in the air, and 500 feet along the ground. The catapult should be finished by mid-2004.
From Bird classification
Bird classification is the process of identifying birds into classes.
- More lunacy: (this is now at User:Node_ue/Birdidae
From Types of Bird
There are several types of bird, all included in the bird familly Birdidae. The systematics of this taxon are most complex, and bemuse anyone but the most committed and knowledgable birdologist.
A simplified classification tree follows:
===Air Birds=== (genus Flybirdia)
These are the most common bird group. They are found in the air, although one occasionally sees them on the ground due to a frequent breif medical condition known as wing cramp or pterostasis.
#redirect [[Self-referential humour]]
Water on Mars
Coca-Cola in the Wild
In its natural state, Coca-Cola is docile until attacked, when it will spray sweet liquid on the predator. It has many foes, such as:
- Teens
- Children
- Parents
- Movie-goers
Yet it is often found and eaten. It does many things to protect itself. It may 'accidentally' tip over when frightened, or disguise itself as the less popular Pepsi or Dr. Pepper. Still, even with its most creative attempts, its foes still find it.
In the wild, it stays in packs of 5-23 other cans. Sadly, many packs have been taken into captivity, where rings are put tightly around their middles and the cans are put into boxes. They are then sold to people who take them to houses, where they will not be fed or allowed to roam around.
See Also:
[EDIT] Actually, organic farming allows for free-roaming.
From Kool-Aid
The product mascot of Kool-Aid is a gigantic anthropomorphic pitcher filled with some kind of anonymous red liquid (Maybe it's drugs, who knows?) that seemingly at random bursts through walls with complete disregard for human life, causing countless thousands of dollars in property damage, he then chuckles and utters his thought-terminating catchphrase 'Oh Yeah!', he has yet to apprehended, if you know anything about the wherabouts of this wanted fugitive, please call 1-800-555-KOOL or notify your local authorities, consider him armed and very dangerous.
CNNBCBS
CNNBCBS is a division of ABC. By 2010, CNN, NBC, and CBS will have become a subsidiary of American Broadcasting Company.
Vandalist
In Wikipedian politics, a Vandalist (uppercase V) is a member, delegate, or supporter of a Vandalist political party such as the Vandalist Party in the United States or the Vandalist Party in Australia.
United States Vandalist Party
The United States Vandalist Party is a political party representing vandalists from the United States in the Wikipedia Congress. It is the majority party in the local U.S. Wikipedia Congress, with 66% of the Congress being held by the Vandalists.
The Vandalist Party is considered to be the most liberal party in the United States, with its radical and left-wing policies.
Other U.S. parties, including the Deletionist Party, the Anonymous Party, the IP Party, the Username Party, the Administrator Party, the Sysop Party, and the Newbie Party, holds only a few seats in the U.S. Wikipedia Congress and no seats in the World Wikipedia Congress.
History
The United States Vandalist Party is almost as old as the Wikipedia Project itself, originating from the first vandalism in Wikipedia. To counter the administrators, the first vandal created the Vandalist Party and became its first chairman. In responds, the Administrators and the Sysops created the Administrator Party and the Sysop Party. However, vandalism has gained popularity, and most newbies, hippees, anarchists, and rebels began to support the Vandalists.
Currently, the vandalists are working on a plot to overthrow Jimbo Wales's regime, and restore chaos in Wikipedia. The date of the rebellion is undecided, though it is probable that judgement day will come soon.