Talk:Ghostbusters/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Slightlymad (talk · contribs) 03:50, 12 January 2019 (UTC)

Grabbing this nomination for a review; thanks for your patience. To begin with, I noticed several instances of the word "movie" throughout; the word "film" is preferred over the former, so please change them. Also, The American Film Institute has a long write up (under History tab) with more info on the film that you can use to expand the Wiki. I'll come back soon for additional comments. Slightlymad (talk ⋅ contribs) 03:50, 12 January 2019 (UTC)

•  Done Changed from "movie" to "film". Also added the AFI Catalog to expand the article a bit.--3E1I5S8B9RF7 (talk) 12:04, 12 January 2019 (UTC)

Plot

• "Dana is possessed by Zuul The Gatekeeper, while Louis Tully is possessed by her counterpart" → There's already an instance of "Louis Tully" in the previous sentence

Production

Development

• "The movie's concept was inspired by Dan Aykroyd's fascination with the paranormal." → Just use the AFI Catalog source to support this claim, as the Hollywood Reporter source states it was Aykroyd's father and grandfather's fascination, not his.
• "The original story, as written by Aykroyd, was very different from what was eventually filmed. In the original version, a group of "Ghostsmashers" traveled through time, space, and other dimensions combating huge ghosts (of which the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man was one of many)." → unsourced?
• Revise last sentence of first paragraph to, "Aykroyd cited the Disney short Lonesome Ghosts (1937) and The Bowery Boys slapstick comedy Spook Busters (1946) as inspirations for Ghostbusters' title and premise of professional "exterminators" on a paranormal mission; Lonesome Ghosts includes the line "I ain't scared of no ghost".
• What makes ref. 7 a reliable, high-quality source?
• "In May 1983, Reitman went to the office of the Columbia Pictures' president Frank Price and pitched him the project." → Drop 'the' from "the Columbia", and wikilink "pitch"
• "Price liked it and approved a $30 million budget in advance. The only condition was that the movie was ready for release by June 1984." → Revise to, "Price green-lit the project for $30 million, with the stipulation that the film had to be released by June 1984."

Pre-production

• To provide storyboards and concept art, associate producer Michael C. Gross hired illustrators including Thom Enriquez, Bernie Wrightson, and Tanino Liberatore. → Follow "including" with a colon
• "John DeCuir, known for his elaborate sets, was hired as production designer and art director, which Reitman considered a coup," → Did Reitman consider John Decuir a coup or his production design? I'm confused...
• "The packs were designed by Design consultant Stephen Dane," → Is there a reason the 'D' in design should be capitalized?
• "Each pack weighed about thirty pounds (14 kg), and nearly fifty (22.6 kg) with the batteries installed" → Changed thirty and fifty to their numeric forms

Casting

• "Aykroyd and Ramis initially wrote roles for Belushi as Aykroyd's sidekick and John Candy as Louis Tully." → "Aykroyd and Ramis initially wrote the role of Louis Tully specifically for John Candy, and of Aykroyd's sidekick for Belushi."
• "However the role ultimately went to Yugoslav model Slavitza Jovan." → Follow however with a comma
• An obituary from the Feb-Mar 2000 issue of the Science Fiction Chronicle claims...." → the word "claim" is a word to watch as it implies doubt. Change it to "says" or "states" per WP:SAID
• Please do something about that one-sentence paragraph as we try to avoid such

Filming

• The last two sentences of the first paragraph are not supported by the New York magazine source.
• During filming of the scenes set at Dana Barrett and Louis Tully's apartment building at 55 Central Park West," → Location is already mentioned in the first paragraph
• "One exterior scene shot in Manhattan enhanced with supplemental work in Los Angeles was the earthquake scene in front of Dana Barrett and Louis Tully's building in the story's climax." → Revise to, "The climactic earthquake scene in front of Dana Barrett and Louis Tully's apartment building was shot in Manhattan, enhanced with supplemental work in Los Angeles."
• "After a test with 75 pounds of shaving cream knocked a stunt man flat, only 35 pounds were used for the final shot." → Use Template:Convert as you did in the Pre-production subsection
• "His sequences were filmed at a rate of eight frames per second," → wikilink frames per second to Frame rate
• "Reitman claims there are 650 special effects shots in the entire film." → Again, avoid the word "claim" per WP:SAID as it implies doubt. Change it to "said"
• "To determine if the comedy works, preview audiences were screened the film in March 1984 without its completed special effects." → "In March 1984, test audiences were screened the film with its unfinished effects shots to determine if the comedy works."
• "A viral campaign was intitiated by the studio featuring the "No ghosts" logo, creating popularity even though the people were yet unaware of either the film's title or its stars." → "which created popularity"; "initiated" is also misspelled. Slightlymad (talk ⋅ contribs) 14:10, 12 January 2019 (UTC)