Talk:Pardosa pseudoannulata: Difference between revisions
RenaBio472 (talk | contribs) posted commentary on Talk page with changes to this article |
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==Behavioral Ecology Student Comments== |
==Behavioral Ecology Student Comments== |
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This article is really informative and interesting; I especially found the sections on sexual cannibalism to be really interesting and well-written. You also did a really great job in adding in hyperlinks to this article. I added a couple more hyperlinks in, and also made some grammatical and sentence structure edits, mostly in places where I thought the sentence structure was a bit confusing or could be worded differently to flow better. One suggestion I have is to make this article a bit more concise. There are multiple instances where you write "It is seen that..." before the sentence. In these cases, this phrase can be removed so that only the actual findings are stated. [[User:RenaBio472|RenaBio472]] ([[User talk:RenaBio472|talk]]) 22:07, 26 November 2020 (UTC) |
This article is really informative and interesting; I especially found the sections on sexual cannibalism to be really interesting and well-written. You also did a really great job in adding in hyperlinks to this article. I added a couple more hyperlinks in, and also made some grammatical and sentence structure edits, mostly in places where I thought the sentence structure was a bit confusing or could be worded differently to flow better. One suggestion I have is to make this article a bit more concise. There are multiple instances where you write "It is seen that..." before the sentence. In these cases, this phrase can be removed so that only the actual findings are stated. [[User:RenaBio472|RenaBio472]] ([[User talk:RenaBio472|talk]]) 22:07, 26 November 2020 (UTC) |
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I definitely think that this article has a lot of important information and is well-researched. I think that expansion in certain sections such as the "Web"one would be very beneficial. a. I went through and added some hyperlinks where I felt appropriate and also removed some that were unnecessary such as a hyperlink for the word “web,” “agriculture,” or “rice.” I went through and changed some of the grammar errors that were present. I also changed some places where stuff like “studies have shown” were written to be more direct as this sort of wording is unnecessary for Wikipedia. I moved the "Abdomen size" section to the "Description" heading because that felt like a more appropriate spot for it. Finally, I changed some of the sentence structure because some of the sentences were hard to make sense of. I would rephrase the following two sentences because I struggled to understand what was being said: |
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"This feature is a motivational factor for males in terms of sexual cannibalism, as the male will parent all of the female’s offspring, making the paternal investment worthwhile." |
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"As mate size dimorphism, the difference between the sizes of mates, increased, sexual cannibalism occurs more frequently." |
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Revision as of 09:13, 1 December 2020
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 15 September 2020 and 17 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Keremyucebas (article contribs).
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Behavioral Ecology Student Comments
This article is really informative and interesting; I especially found the sections on sexual cannibalism to be really interesting and well-written. You also did a really great job in adding in hyperlinks to this article. I added a couple more hyperlinks in, and also made some grammatical and sentence structure edits, mostly in places where I thought the sentence structure was a bit confusing or could be worded differently to flow better. One suggestion I have is to make this article a bit more concise. There are multiple instances where you write "It is seen that..." before the sentence. In these cases, this phrase can be removed so that only the actual findings are stated. RenaBio472 (talk) 22:07, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
I definitely think that this article has a lot of important information and is well-researched. I think that expansion in certain sections such as the "Web"one would be very beneficial. a. I went through and added some hyperlinks where I felt appropriate and also removed some that were unnecessary such as a hyperlink for the word “web,” “agriculture,” or “rice.” I went through and changed some of the grammar errors that were present. I also changed some places where stuff like “studies have shown” were written to be more direct as this sort of wording is unnecessary for Wikipedia. I moved the "Abdomen size" section to the "Description" heading because that felt like a more appropriate spot for it. Finally, I changed some of the sentence structure because some of the sentences were hard to make sense of. I would rephrase the following two sentences because I struggled to understand what was being said:
"This feature is a motivational factor for males in terms of sexual cannibalism, as the male will parent all of the female’s offspring, making the paternal investment worthwhile." "As mate size dimorphism, the difference between the sizes of mates, increased, sexual cannibalism occurs more frequently."