Christian views on marriage

File:Christian-Marriage-Symbol.jpg

Ancient Christian Marriage symbol: two gold rings and Greek letters chi (X) and rho (P) for "Jesus Christ"

Introduction

File:Bride-groom-walking.jpg

The Christian view of marriage historically has regarded marriage as ordained by God for the lifelong union of one man and one woman. This foundational principle was first articulated biblically in Genesis 2:24. Jesus affirmed it and added his emphasis on its being God-made and lifelong:

Haven't you read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” Matthew 19:4–6. See also Mark 10:7–9

The Apostle Paul quoted these passages from both Genesis and Jesus almost verbatim in 1Corinthians 6:15–17 and in Ephesians 5:30–32.

Jesus Christ dignified the institution of marriage by performing the first of the recorded miracles of Jesus at a wedding (see Marriage at Cana John 2:1–11).

Christian marriage is seen by the Apostle Paul of Tarsus (Ephesians chapter 5) as paralleling the relationship between Christ and the Church, a theological view which is a development of the Old Testament view that saw a parallel between marriage and the relationship between God and Israel.

All major Christian groups take marriage to be a good thing. In 1 Timothy, chapter 4, St. Paul talks of heretics who, among other things, "forbid marriage" and he describes their views as "doctrines of demons." Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy traditionally see an even greater value in celibacy when that celibacy is undertaken for the sake of a more single-minded devotion to God, but believe that not everyone has this calling from God and acknowledge marriage is preferred by most people. This belief comes from Paul's first letter to the church at Corinth in chapter 7, which he sums up in verses 8 and 9 as:

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1Corinthians 7:8–9)

Most Christian wedding ceremonies take place in churches. Some couples are choosing quaint or nostalgic secular locations in which to be married by clergy.

Christian groups, some more harshly than others, frown on divorce.

The Christian church at large has not escaped liberal influences of the sexual revolution. An indication of such influences is greater tolerance within the church of couples living together without marriage (fornication), extramarital affairs (adultery) and no-fault divorce. This is happening in spite of the fact that these practices conflict with doctrinal beliefs present in Christianity since its founding.

View of Roman Catholic Christians

Main article: Catholic marriage

In Roman Catholicism, marriage is one of the seven sacraments. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition, paragraph 1623, "the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church.” An argument for the institution of the sacrament of Matrimony by Christ himself, and its occasion, is advanced by Bernard Orchard in his article The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph [1]. In the Eastern Catholic Churches (i.e. non-Latin rite churches in full communion with Rome), "the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses, but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.”

Marriage forms the foundation of the family, the fundamental unit of the referring community (ordinarily the parish). The ideal references are found in the Holy Family (Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Saint Joseph, his father). See related articles of Canon law: [2].

To Catholics, the primary purpose of marriage is to fulfill a vocation in the nature of man and woman, for the procreation and education of children, and to stand as a symbol of the mystical union between Christ and his Church. [3] The secondary aim is the mutual reciprocal help and it is also a "remedy to concupiscence." Fecundity is a good, a gift and an end of marriage. By giving life, spouses participate in God's fatherhood. Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages.” It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another.

If the couple cohabit after the marriage ceremony, the marriage is presumed consummatum, unless a proof of the contrary is produced.

Traditionally, sexual intercourse was termed the marriage debt. This refers to the idea that marriage is a contract where each party assumes total control of the other's body. At almost any time, within reason, a partner's asking for the fulfillment of that debt had to be satisfied. Like any repayment of a debt, when done with the right intention and circumstances sexual intercourse is a meritorious act, gaining graces for the participants. In modern times, however, the church has taught a far less severe view of obligatory fulfillment, where it is understood that both spouses intend, by accepting the sacrament of marriage, to fulfill the reproductive moral mandate at some point in their marriage, but not on the demand or whim of one spouse, nor under any circumstance should a spouse ever be forced to comply against their will (rape), even if failure to do so led to never having children/lack of fulfillment.

Other issues

One issue is the marriage where one of the spouses belongs to a non-Christian religion (called the impediment "disparity of cult"—Catechism of the Catholic Church 1633): these marriages are not sacraments, since the letter of Canon law expressly defines the marriage as a "covenant" between baptized spouses. Still, a marriage between non-baptized spouses, or a baptized and an unbaptized person, is called legitimum when validly celebrated, but is not encouraged.

Polygamy is described as "not in accord with the moral law.” Conjugal communion is radically contradicted by polygamy; this, in fact, directly negates the plan of God which was revealed from the beginning, because it is contrary to the equal personal dignity of men and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that is total and therefore unique and exclusive." Roman Catholic teaching holds that even the Patriarchs were breaking the natural law with their polygamy, although God created an exception for them.

View of the Eastern Orthodox Churches

In Eastern Orthodoxy, marriage is also treated as a sacrament, and as an ordination, and (like all ordinations) like a martyrdom, as each spouse learns to die to himself or herself for the sake of the other. Like all ordinations, it is viewed as revealing and sealing the relationship that has formed between the couple. In addition, marriage is an icon or image of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. This is somewhat akin to the Old Testament prophets' use of marriage as an analogy to describe the relationship between God and Israel. Divorce is discouraged, but allowed, in some cases to acknowledge that the relationship no longer exists. A lay member may obtain permission to remarry under the counsel of a priest, but the ceremony and prayers would be different, less joyful and more sober and somber.

Early church texts forbid marriage between a Christian (Orthodox) and a heretic (which involves also Roman Catholics). Conservative Orthodox Christians forbid mixed marriages with other denominations (regarded heresies), however in some places where population is mixed like the islands of Cyclades, mixed marriages are common.

A married man may be ordained as a priest or deacon. However, a priest or deacon is not permitted to enter into matrimony after ordination, whether he has become divorced or widowed, or even if he had not been married at the time of ordination. Bishops are always celibate.

Overall, there is a far less legislative approach regarding married life than in Roman Catholicism.

View of Protestant Christians

Almost all Protestant denominations hold marriage to be ordained by God for the union between a man and a woman. They see the primary purpose of this union to be to glorify God by demonstrating his love to the world. Other purposes of marriage include intimate companionship, rearing children and mutual support for both husband and wife to fulfill their life callings. Most Protestants are less likely to hold a negative view of birth control and many see sexual pleasure within marriage as a gift of God.

See also:

• Baptist

• Methodist

• Assembly of God

• Presbyterian

As is true of most groups sharing a distinctive ideology or theology, identity, values, norms and a common culture, each religious denomination falls somewhere on a continuum usually labeled "conservative" at one extreme and "liberal" at the other, with "moderate" or "centrist" at roughly the midpoint. As the old maxim puts it, "Perception is in the eye of the beholder." Therefore, these are relative terms, suggesting that what is considered "conservative" by one person or group may be rated "liberal" by others.

Conservative Christianity in the United States is an ad hoc, unofficial, loosely defined subdivision of the Protestant Christian community that adheres to conservative religious and social values and practices. Liberal Christianity, conversely, includes those who view their own corporate culture as progressive or modernist. Some points of divergence include authority and importance of the Holy Bible, literal or metaphorical interpretation of scripture, divinity of Jesus Christ and reality of his resurrection from the dead, need for organized missionary work and personal sharing one's beliefs in salvation through Jesus Christ, and the view of women in both marriage and ministry. Most germaine to the present article is that differing views about women have a profound effect on the character and nature of the marriage relationship.

Conservative Protestant View

In addition to limiting marriage to one man and one woman (discussed above), conservatives take a strict view of the nature of marriage. For Conservative Protestants, marriage is the only appropriate channel for sexual expression and divorce is permissible, if at all, only in very specific circumstances such as infidelity or physical abuse. Marriage is seen as a solemn covenant between the couple and God.

There are two very diverse views within Conservative Christianity (to include moderates) as to whether gender-based roles in marriage are scripturally required or are even appropriate. For convenience they may be labeled the Traditionalist Hierarchical Complementarian view and the Egalitarian Full Partnership View

The Traditionalist Hierarchical Complementarian View

The traditionalist hierarchical complementarian view maintains that gender-based roles and an authority structure are biblically required in marriage. A foundational verse in the Bible for this understanding is Ephesians 5:23 where the Apostle Paul writes that "the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." The preceding verse is state in the imperative: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." These verses are taken to establish a gender-based hierarchy in marriage. The husband is presumed to have authority over the wife, hence veto power in decision-making. The wife's role is to submit to the authority of her husband. The wife is exempt from submitting to the husband's authority only in cases (presumably rare) where submitting would conflict with her conscience or with biblical teaching. Headship and submission are to be worked out in the context that a husband should protect and care for his wife and put her needs before his own, even to the point of dying for her. Traditionalists see these principles as reflecting the concept that Christ is the head of "the Church"—those who call themselves His followers.

In 2000, the world’s largest Protestant denomination Southern Baptist Convention, well stated the traditionalist hierarchical view of marriage in their 1963 Baptist Faith and Message—doctrines they “hold precious and as essential to the Baptist tradition of faith and practice” (Preamble to the document). Article XVIII is quoted here because (a) its comprehensive section on “Family” succinctly states much of which this article discusses about the importance and sanctity of marriage, (b) it also clearly articulates the very conservative stance of many Protestant evangelicals, (c) its references at the end are a valuable bibliography to Bible verses, the interpretation of which have led to development of The Christian View of Marriage over the past 2,000 years:

XVIII. The Family

• God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood, or adoption.

• Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.

• The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

• Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God's pattern for marriage. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values and to lead them, through consistent lifestyle example and loving discipline, to make choices based on biblical truth. Children are to honor and obey their parents.

Genesis 1:26-28; 2:15-25; 3:1-20; Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Joshua 24:15; 1 Samuel 1:26-28; Psalms 51:5; 78:1-8; 127; 128; 139:13-16; Proverbs 1:8; 5:15-20; 6:20-22; 12:4; 13:24; 14:1; 17:6; 18:22; 22:6,15; 23:13-14; 24:3; 29:15,17; 31:10-31; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; 9:9; Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 5:31-32; 18:2-5; 19:3-9; Mark 10:6-12; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Ephesians 5:21-33; 6:1-4; Colossians 3:18-21; 1 Timothy 5:8,14; 2 Timothy 1:3-5; Titus 2:3-5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7. http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp

The Egalitarian Full Partnership View

The egalitarian [from French égalité equality] Full Partnership view maintains that the wife and husband are equals before God in every respect, not just in worth or value as the preceding doctrine states. There is no hierarchy, no veto power. Decision-making is mutual, as is responsibility. Therefore, the man and the woman are full partners with each other in Christian marriage—neither one over the other nor one under the other.

• Those who believe full partnership in marriage is most biblical and also results in the most intimate, wholesome, mutually fulfilling marriages, understand the Apostle Paul's statement recorded in Galatians 3:28 to be a foundational verse for all Christian relationships, including Christian marriage:

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" [emphasis added] (Galatians 3:28). Jesus, the founder of Christianity, proclaimed, "So, they are no longer two, but one flesh” (Matthew 19:6)./

• Both Traditionalist and Egalitarian Christians agree that the Apostle Paul wrote that the "husband is head" and "wives, submit," and that he was divinely inspired to write what he wrote. Christians with an egalitarian Full Partnership view of marriage are just as concerned about biblical authority as are traditionalist Christians. The difference is where they each end up by way of interpretation of pertinent Scriptures.

Traditionalists understand "head" to mean "leader" and "authority figure," as the head of an organization like its president or chief executive officer (please see The Traditionalist Hierarchical View above in this article).

Egalitarian Christians consider this understanding to be contrary to the teachings and example of Jesus Christ. Therefore, they believe more attention needs to be given to discerning (1) what Paul actually meant when he penned those instructions, (2) to what extent his gender-based guidance was intended for an abusive first century culture in which women were considered disposable entities, chattel (property of husband) and permanently minors legally—or if he was prescribing a hierarchical relationship in which wives must be under husband authority for all people in all times.

Much has been written concerning the meaning of "head" in the New Testament. The word used for "head," transliterated from Greek, is kephale which means the anatomical head of a body. Today's English word "cephalic" (sə-făl'ĭk) means "Of or relating to the head; or located on, in, or near the head." In the New Testament, a thorough concordance search shows that second most frequent use of "head" [kephale], besides the structure that connects to our neck and sits atop our bodies, is "head" in a metaphorical sense to mean "source."

In Hebrew thought, perhaps greatly because of the law of primogeniture which gave the first-born considerable rights and privileges over later born siblings, it was very important to determine who came first in birth order. Therefore, Paul and other rabbis pointed to the Genesis 2:22 record, "the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man," making it clear that the male was the first-created (first "born") and therefore perpetually entitled to special rights and privileges under primogeniture. While it is benevolent to consider the husband's headship as meaning he is the source who works to ensure his wife's growth and development as a person, it still requires gender bias, implying that somehow he is uniquely (and better) qualified to provide growth and development to her, more than she would be to mutually provide those benefits to him. The wife's submission is seen in the context of Paul's injunction (in Ephesians 5:21) for all Christians to submit to one another.

• A straightforward reading of Matthew 20:25-26a, Mark 10:42, and Luke 22:25 may lead one to conclude that Jesus even forbids any hierarchy of relationships in Christian relationships: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you!" While "lord it over" implies abusive leadership, his words "exercise authority" has no connotation of abuse of authority.

Liberal Protestant view

Liberal Christians, almost by definition, give a great deal of consideration to cultural norms. In the Western world, pre-marital sex, same-sex marriage (and to some extent homosexuality in general) and divorce are so increasingly common that some Protestants have become increasingly tolerant of these practices. The ordination of homosexual for the clergy has become a major debate in some Protestant denominations (cf., Episcopalian, Methodist, certain Presbyterian groups, and others). While liberals view divorce as regrettable, they generally do not label divorcees as "sinners." Likewise, pre-marital sex may be considered to be unwise, but since it is sufficiently widespread, it is sometimes considered to be tolerable.

View of other Christians

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("LDS Church"; see also Mormon), "Eternal Marriage" is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman and God performed by a priesthood authority in the temples of the Church. Eternal Marriage is legally recognized, but unlike other civil marriages, Eternal Marriage is intended to continue into the afterlife after the resurrection if the man and woman do not break their covenants. Eternally married couples are often referred to as being "sealed" to each other. Sealed couples who keep their covenants are also promised to have their posterity sealed to them in the after life. Thus, the slogan of the LDS Church: "families are forever.” The LDS Church encourages its members to be in good standing with it so that they may marry in the temple. "Cancellation of a sealing,” sometimes incorrectly called a "temple divorce,” is uncommon and is granted only by the highest authority in the Church. Civil divorce and marriage outside the temple is somewhat of a stigma in the Latter-day Saint culture although currently the Church itself directs its local leaders not to advise members about divorce one way or another.

In the New Church (or Swedenborgianism), marriage is considered a sacred covenant between one man, one woman and the Lord. The doctrine of the New Church teaches that married love (sometime translated conjugial love) is "the precious jewel of human life and the repository of the Christian religion" because the love shared between a husband and a wife is the source of all peace and joy (see Married Love 457). Marriage is also meant to be eternal and divorce is only allowable when the spiritual union is broken by adultery. When a husband and wife work together to become angels in heaven, their marriage continues uninterrupted even after the death of their bodies, living together in heaven to eternity. Emanuel Swedenborg spoke to angels who had been married for thousands of years. Those who are never married on earth will find a spouse in heaven.

See also

• Religious aspects of marriage (for all religions).
• Complementarian

External links

• Christians for Biblical Equality

• Christian Marriage Resources

• An analysis of historic, current and Biblical Christian views on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

• Bernard Orchard, The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph',’ Part 1; Part 2

• Bernard Orchard, Summary of The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph and chronological chart

• The biblical view of marriage - The Blood Covenant of Marriage

• The Future of Marriage from a Christian Viewpoint

• Latest 1st Century Marriage Research by Dr. Intone Brewer, Tyndale Biblical Library

• An essay on the Christian view of the meaning and permanence of Marriage