Road to Europe

Road to Europe (originally called European Road Show) is an episode of Family Guy that first aired February 7, 2002.

Written by Daniel Palladino, directed by Dan Povenmire. Guest starring the members of KISS (Gene Simmons, Peter Criss, Ace Frehley, and Paul Stanley) as themselves.

Plot summary

Stewie is entranced by a show called Jolly Farm Revue (a parody of children's shows such as the Teletubbies). Despairing of his future in Quahog, Stewie decides to travel to Jolly Farm and live there forever. He sneaks aboard an intercontinental flight, intending to travel to London and find the BBC (where Jolly Farm is filmed). Brian follows him, only to discover that they have landed in the Middle East instead. Stewie and Brian perform a musical number together in order to steal a camel, which dies from exhaustion in the middle of the desert. At a nearby Comfort Inn, they steal a hot air balloon and gradually make their way to Vatican City, then board a train to Munich and get stoned in Amsterdam. Upon finally arriving at the BBC studios, Stewie is horrified to learn that there is no actual farm and his beloved characters are mere actors. Disillusioned, he travels back home with Brian and replaces his love of Jolly Farm Revue with a love of "funky fruit hats."

Peter is overjoyed to hear about KISS-stock, a five-night set of concerts in New England by Peter's favorite band. He and Lois dress in leather and face paint, and stand only feet from the stage. When Gene Simmons points the microphone at Lois, encouraging her to sing the next line of Rock and Roll All Night, Peter is humiliated to discover that she does not know the words. He accuses her of only pretending to be a KISS enthusiast, and they leave the concerts in disgrace. To punish himself, Peter stops at a Denny's on the way home, where KISS happens to have also stopped. Lois recognizes Chaim Witz, who she dated before he changed his name to Gene Simmons; Gene introduces her to the rest of the band, who have heard Gene's stories of "Loose Lois". Peter's faith in Lois is restored, and he proudly shares the news on public-access television that his wife did KISS.

References to movies

Brian slices open a camel's belly to save Stewie from the cold, much like Han Solo did with a tauntaun to warm Luke in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

This episode is similar to an earlier Brian/Stewie road-trip caper, "Road to Rhode Island".

Quotes

• Gene Simmons: (on a television commercial) If you're a KISS fan, and you live in the Northeast come out for all five shows of what we're calling "KISS-Stock."
  Peter: Hell, the Northeast? It's times like this I curse the fact that we live in French Polynesia.
• Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days following stupid old KISS around. It's painful.
  Peter: Not as much as a tire iron upside your head.
  Meg: What?
  Peter: I'll miss you.
• Brian: Great. I'm stuck on a transatlantic flight with a petulant runaway. How could this get any worse?
  Man: You know what I hate about flying? The peanuts. First of all, you can't get them open. Who are they trying to keep out of these things?
  Jerry Seinfeld: And what's the deal with the razor-blade slot in the bathroom? Are people actually shaving in there?
  Andy Dick: Hi, Andy Dick here. Excuse me. I've got to get my bag up in the overhead bin here. (luggage falls out all over him) Wow, that's wacky!
• Middle Eastern Vendor: Hey, Americans. You like movies? I got Dude, My Car Is Not Where I Parked It, But, Praise Allah, We Are Not Hurt.
• German Tour Guide: Besides its beautiful, historic architecture, Munich was the home of many great writers, such as Thomas Mann. You will find more on Germany's contribution to art in the pamphlets we've provided.
  Brian: About your pamphlet... I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
  Tour Guide: Everyone was on vacation! On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
  Brian: Wait, wait. What are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
  Tour Guide: (screaming frantically) We were invited! Punch was served! Check with Poland!
  Brian: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
  Tour Guide: No, no, he left to manage a Dairy Queen.
  Brian: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
  Tour Guide: I will hear no more insinuations about the German people! Nothing bad happened! (begins shouting in German)
  Brian: (hesitantly) Is that a beer hall?
  Tour Guide: (cheerfully) Oh, yes! Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.